Anyone mind helping me with my problem? Why am I not attracted to women?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 7:15 AM GMT
    Bare with me on this...

    I consider myself gay. I'm attracted to guys and have never really been attracted to women.

    After years of hating my sexual preference (because of homophobic parents) I finally accepted it about a year ago. At this point, I am completely happy and proud to be gay.

    But then once in a while I'll get a little confused sexually-- wondering if I might one day change my preferences and become straight or (more realistically) Bisexual.

    This actually bothers me because as I said, I am really only attracted to men-- I'm gay and I'm happy with it. I just want to leave it at that.

    Why am I still having confusing thoughts? Well, I think it started when I was looking at a bunch of naked dudes.

    Yeah....sorry if you thought this was gonna be G-rated...

    So let me explain this first-- I love guys with masculine bodies. I love the masculine shape, body hair, muscles, and of course the dick. Nothing you wouldn't expect from a gay guy.

    Still I like a lot of different kinds of guys, and the more "twink"-like guys are also attractive to me. This brings me to the naked dudes I mentioned.

    I was watching a video (link below) of a bunch of small twinky asian dudes fooling around butt-naked. It was a turn on for me, but then I started thinking-- Why am I attracted to guys that look like this? I can understand why I am attracted to the big muscular types, but why guys like the ones in the video? Their bodies don't have much of a masculine shape. In fact, they don't seem too far from the body of a woman (no offense to twink body types).

    I mean, they aren't hairy, they aren't muscular, and they don't have a particularly big masculine frame-- Yet, I find them attractive, but I don't find women attractive. After watching the video, I watched videos of naked women and there was no attraction at all to the girls.

    ...Sorry if I'm not being clear. Are you following me? Basically I'm asking why I-- as a gay guy who is not attracted to naked women-- find these naked men attractive even when they aren't all that masculine in appearance.

    I couldn't really come up with much of an answer...

    Am I attracted simply because I know that they are male? (unlikely)

    Is it merely the fact that they have a dick? (unlikely)

    Am I missing something in my comparison of twinks and women? This one seems more likely. With that video in particular-- maybe someone could watch it and give an explanation and answer some of my questions.

    Here's the video (it's on a porn site and they are naked so obviously NSFW): http://www.rockettube.com/Asian/Gayasiantwinkz/15518/Gay-Asian-Porn-Shoot.html



  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Sep 09, 2011 11:41 AM GMT
    An ability to find different kinds of guys attractive isn't a problem; it's an asset. And there's no reason why it should translate into being attracted to women.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 11:44 AM GMT
    People are attracted to different body types based for a variety of reasons. One factor is activity with a body type. Another factor is respect/dominance/happy looking up to or happy, tenderly looking down on.

    A man who is 5'9" 160, may have trouble with sex dancing with a weight room man 6'1", 230 lbs. The Weight Room guy may want more man mass on man mass sex; and, would prefer a guy who is 5'11", 235 over say a 6'0, 170 lb guy.

    In my 20s and early 30s, I, 5'10" was absolutely crazy for men 5'10 1/2 to 5'11". I just wanted to look up a little bit to another guy a little taller than me and nurture the f out of him, be his support. Last year, I had a sex partner who was a little shorter than I was and lighter weight than I was. I made love to him in the happy, tender, looking down way.This was a tower over sort loving expression.

    One time I had a boyfriend born on the same day as I was and we were the same height and only a 12-pound difference. Equal size sex is awesome too.

    This week, I was playing tennis with a stocky guy whose belly was big. It was the sexiest. I kept getting the odd feeling that fellatio would something lyposuct his waste from 41" to 38". The fellatio would be magical. So, there was some inner child joy going on with him.

    As for what you're saying. I saw a lesbian who looked like a boy once on Lexington Avenue in NYC. I would have been straight for her. It was love at first sight. I wouldn't have gone for the same equivalent in a man; but, this twink, stylish brunette lesbian who looks like the most beautiful teenage boy you've ever seen? Yep.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 1:56 PM GMT
    You're gay. You need to truthfully accept who you are, then the rationalizing will end.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 2:11 PM GMT
    You're hurting yourself emotionally. I'd see a therapist who can help you accept yourself. I know you say you've accepted that you're gay....but you have not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 2:17 PM GMT
    Hey Dissonance, "Am I attracted simply because I know that they are male? (unlikely)"

    Why do you think this unlikely? icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    I'm gonna go with "Because you're gay" simply because it's the the simplest answer to your question which is just simple icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 2:26 PM GMT
    The previous post sounds about right--it sounds like you still have some anxiety about your sexual orientation. Consider a counselor, or gay-friendly clergy, who can help. The latter sounds like it could be really useful, since often persons who are homophobic base their argument on their religious beliefs, so I am wondering if that is part of your parents' issue.

    Just know that you can be gay and accepted in many churches. I don't do anything to hide my orientation at my church and it's been great--I get a lot of love and support.

    Hope this is helpful!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 2:30 PM GMT
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTQg2W4c-tRqeLP0WsJ7-U

    Potential Troll thread detected.

    Probable outcomes: another mind-numbing masc/femme or gay vs. bi "debate"...

    Please proceed.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 2:37 PM GMT
    well, you found those Asian twinks so attractive because from the very first moment you knew that they are men and not women. that's why you watched the video and your brain gave the green line for your sexual insitinct. If I may say.

    The key to your heart - also to your dick - lies in the knowledge that what you are beholding - or touching in other cases - is of a male gender. That's the esoteric part of the clear simple answer : because you are gay.

    Wondering is ok. You have but recently began to accept your sexuality. Don't worry, you won't change over one night. You will be alright and you will keep liking men... only your type of men can change - as it is already changing - and you will like wide variety of men, not only muscled, also twinks, defined or just average. You will like some more than some at the end of the day... but all of that is ok. You're actually becoming a very good specimen yourself cause men who are more adventurous and less picky score the most in life.


    So, yes, you're gay and you'll be alright.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 2:42 PM GMT
    Setting aside the trolling potential inherent in this thread...

    I totally dig hot young butch lesbians (those channeling a
    twink or even a muscle boy look). At least until I realize there is very little chance that she has a dick, or wants one (from a guy, durrr).

    And all that youthful masculine hotness is tossed out when the mental image
    of her meat curtains comes to mind. icon_sad.gif

    To the OP: Feel free to experiment and thereby learn for certain what turns you on the most. And no need to feel guilty about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    I find that I'm attracted to the male attitude, or persona. Regardless of how masculine, or feminine their body is. I could think somebody has a really sexy body but if they do their nails and shut all day unjust won't be attracted to them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 3:15 PM GMT
    LOL_WUT_PEAR.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 3:20 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidI'm gonna go with "Because you're gay" simply because it's the the simplest answer to your question which is just simple icon_biggrin.gif



    “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” – Dr. Suess
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    you-are-gay.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 3:31 PM GMT
    Occam's Razor... You're gay. End of competing hypotheses.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 6:43 PM GMT
    Alpha made me throw up in my mouth a little. Meat curtains?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2011 6:44 PM GMT
    Dissonance, you'll be fine.
  • Plazma1

    Posts: 30

    Sep 09, 2011 7:16 PM GMT
    Aside from all the other answers. I too think it is an interesting question to ask yourself. I think alot of us (including myself) have asked the same question at one point or another. Straight people don't really need to confront their orientation and likely don't ask these questions to themselves as much.

    It really is an Ockham's razor type question: The paradox of the heap is an example of this paradox which arises when one considers a heap of sand, from which grains are individually removed. Is it still a heap when only one grain remains? If not, when did it change from a heap to a non-heap?

    Similarly, at what point is someone not masculine enough for you to be attracted to them ? Maybe we all have different cut off points and this is why some people are attracted to transexuals.

    Anyways, props for accepting who you are and questioning your desires.

    "The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2011 4:30 AM GMT
    troll or no I'm answering

    Don't think about why you're attracted, that spoils all the fun. Just kiss and fuck whoever makes your dick hard. You can't predict how your tastes will change, so just go along for the ride and enjoy it.

    There are lots of different types of guys and there needs to be people attracted to each and every type. I think that's cool.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2011 6:00 AM GMT
    Plazma1 saidAside from all the other answers. I too think it is an interesting question to ask yourself. I think alot of us (including myself) have asked the same question at one point or another. Straight people don't really need to confront their orientation and likely don't ask these questions to themselves as much.

    It really is an Ockham's razor type question: The paradox of the heap is an example of this paradox which arises when one considers a heap of sand, from which grains are individually removed. Is it still a heap when only one grain remains? If not, when did it change from a heap to a non-heap?

    Similarly, at what point is someone not masculine enough for you to be attracted to them ? Maybe we all have different cut off points and this is why some people are attracted to transexuals.

    Anyways, props for accepting who you are and questioning your desires.

    "The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates


    Thanks man