Men are truly weird sometimes

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    Sep 09, 2011 12:29 PM GMT
    So I chatted to this guy online for a month, he really fancied me and the feeling was mutual cause he had the most gorgeous bod I've ever seen.

    Cut to a few weeks and we arrange to meet up. I was wasted at the time so I invited him back to mine because I was horned up and he certainly had no objections. As soon as we get in the front door he starts stripping and we get it on. Wasn't as amazing as I thought it would be because I couldn't cum (but it may have been the booze,never been an issue before) but he had no issues and I let him cum all over my face because I wanted to please him.

    We lie in bed for half an hour where we cuddle and kiss etc and I think all has gone well. He later gets up to get dressed/leave and I apologise for not being able to cum ( I blame it on the booze). He says no problem, next time etc.

    So he messages me today to say that he is no longer interested, didn't enjoy himself and felt 'incredibly uncomfortable' about the whole encounter.

    Now correct me if i'm wrong but if anyone has something to complain about it's me since he couldn't even make me cum.

    He isn't out and is kinda secretive about the gay sex he has so perhaps that explains it but it's a shame cause I kinda liked him.

    Any input ?
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    Sep 09, 2011 12:41 PM GMT
    Did the other guy have too much to drink? Maybe the booze turned him off and he viewed you as having a problem? Your asking for opinion.
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    Sep 09, 2011 12:46 PM GMT
    No he was sober but I remember everything as I wasn't THAT wasted, besides, if it was such a turn off why didnt he just leave. Like I said we spent a long time kissing/cuddling after he get off.
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    Sep 09, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidSo I chatted to this guy online for a month, he really fancied me and the feeling was mutual cause he had the most gorgeous bod I've ever seen.

    Cut to a few weeks and we arrange to meet up. I was wasted at the time so I invited him back to mine because I was horned up and he certainly had no objections. As soon as we get in the front door he starts stripping and we get it on. Wasn't as amazing as I thought it would be because I couldn't cum (but it may have been the booze,never been an issue before) but he had no issues and I let him cum all over my face because I wanted to please him.

    We lie in bed for half an hour where we cuddle and kiss etc and I think all has gone well. He later gets up to get dressed/leave and I apologise for not being able to cum ( I blame it on the booze). He says no problem, next time etc.

    So he messages me today to say that he is no longer interested, didn't enjoy himself and felt 'incredibly uncomfortable' about the whole encounter.

    Now correct me if i'm wrong but if anyone has something to complain about it's me since he couldn't even make me cum.

    He isn't out and is kinda secretive about the gay sex he has so perhaps that explains it but it's a shame cause I kinda liked him.

    Any input ?


    Well you were liquored up so you couldn't really have expected him to make you cum when you couldn't even make yourself cum and you are the one who came up with that excuse. Not him. Plus you let him give you a facial on the first date? That speaks volumes in my opinion. You let him treat you like a trick.

    Not only that but you meet him and were liquored up at the time (your words). Not a good first impression by any means and to top it off you were horny so like any dude he saw an easy opportunity for ass and he took it so you can't really fault him for that when you pretty much lined yourself up for that kind of a result to begin with.

    Sorry to be the one to break it you but you were basically a hook up. He got what he wanted (with no effort it seems) and pretty much didn't feel the need to continue having any dealings with you afterwards. Sounds pretty fucked up but, again, you can't really blame him since you let him get away with it and didn't show any self restraint. He got what he wanted and given how easily he got it he figured that's all it was about: sex. Him not being "out" had no bearing on this situation I assure you. if that were the case he wouldn't have met you in a public. He wasn't interested anymore because of how things went down with you. You were liquored up on a 1st encounter and couldn't perform/finish well.

    Next time try going on a few dates first and setting some ground rules for yourself before giving it up so quickly and don't be liquored up because that's a poor ass excuse for sure. for starters try having dealing with people who are out and secure with themselves.

    Here's a something to think about. Those who say they aren't "out" fail to realize they become out when they meet someone for sex now because someone now knows and can put a face to a fuck. LOL.

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    Sep 09, 2011 1:05 PM GMT
    So.... Uhhh

    What's wrong with facial on a first date?

    Seems like half of rj are a bunch of puritans.



    Anyway @ op

    Yeah guys suck. Just don't get caught up on it, move on and hopefully u will meet a nice guy who's cool, hot and matches ur sexual energy.

    Goodluck ; )
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    Sep 09, 2011 1:10 PM GMT
    Yeah I get that I served it up on a plate but the same is true for him too. I asked him if he wanted a drink but he just started taking his clothes off and said he was boned as soon as he saw me.

    I'm old enough to deal with just a 'hookup' and thats fine but it was the judgemental way he acted about it and the making him feel 'uncomfortable' that has pissed me off.

    If only every man had such 'uncomfortable' experiences, the lucky bastard icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 09, 2011 1:16 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidYeah I get that I served it up on a plate but the same is true for him too. I asked him if he wanted a drink but he just started taking his clothes off and said he was boned as soon as he saw me.

    I'm old enough to deal with just a 'hookup' and thats fine but it was the judgemental way he acted about it and the making him feel 'uncomfortable' that has pissed me off.

    If only every man had such 'uncomfortable' experiences, the lucky bastard icon_razz.gif

    Chances are that he was more uncomfortable with himself, not you. He isn't out? But he definitely enjoyed the night you shared, no doubt. Mhmm, I don't think it's you.
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    Sep 09, 2011 1:27 PM GMT
    Unfortunately, there's no hard and fast rules, despite the advice being given here.

    I've developed relationships with guys I've hooked up with the first night, had things fizzle or been screwed over by guys I've hooked up with the first night, developed relationships with guys I've taken things slow with, and had things fizzle or been screwed over by guys I've taken things slow with.

    The bottom line is que sera, sera. People are complex, relationships more so, and whatever will be will be.

    There's a million reasons why these things don't work out. Could be you got used for sex -- not a good feeling, yes, but what can you do? Could be you caught each other at the wrong time in your lives. Could be that there's someone else more compatible. You just never know.

    You just have to keep meeting people and move on, and hope that one day it works out mutually. But there is no foolproof rulebook to follow I'm sorry to report. When lightning strikes, it strikes. When it fizzles, it fizzles.

    In the meantime good luck, it's exhausting. icon_cry.gif
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    Sep 09, 2011 1:39 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidYeah I get that I served it up on a plate but the same is true for him too. I asked him if he wanted a drink but he just started taking his clothes off and said he was boned as soon as he saw me.

    I'm old enough to deal with just a 'hookup' and thats fine but it was the judgemental way he acted about it and the making him feel 'uncomfortable' that has pissed me off.

    If only every man had such 'uncomfortable' experiences, the lucky bastard icon_razz.gif


    It shouldn't have considering how things went down. His attitude towards the whole thing should've tipped you off as soon as he started taking his clothes off when he entered your home. Talk about jumping the gun prematurely but I guess he sensed he could do it and get away with it and so he fired off a round (in your face no less). LOL.

    If you're old enough to deal with hook ups then this incident really should come to you as a surprise.

    And now you know.

    Wolverine...there's a difference between dating sex and hooking up sex.

    If the OP had thought it was just gonna be a hook up thing then I wouldn't have said anything since hooking up is all about busting up (LOL) but he thought it was a date and that's just something you don't do on a 1st date unless you wanna be labeled (IMPO).

    In any case, I'm sorry this happened to you and, unfortunately, it won't be the last time either so the best advice I can give you to is to just be more careful and exercise better judgement and self control.
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    Sep 09, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    Many many years ago, when the pyramids were new, I went out with a guy who, after he climaxed and had a chance to relax in the aftermath, was repulsed at the sex, which I found out later was guilt and the feeling he'd done something dirty. What a roller coaster.
    I was so smitten by him we kept it up for months. Eventually frustration and my injured self esteem (after all, I thought love-making wonderful and his repeated withdrawals afterwards were torture) were enough for me to make up my love besotted mind and end it.

    -Doug
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    Sep 09, 2011 1:50 PM GMT
    meninlove said Many many years ago, when the pyramids were new, I went out with a guy who, after he climaxed and had a chance to relax in the aftermath, was repulsed at the sex, which I found out later was guilt and the feeling he'd done something dirty. What a roller coaster.
    I was so smitten by him we kept it up for months. Eventually frustration and my injured self esteem (after all, I thought love-making wonderful and his repeated withdrawals afterwards were torture) were enough for me to make up my love besotted mind and end it.

    -Doug


    I think you and the other poster have hit the nail on the head, this guy obviously has issues with his sexuality
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    Sep 09, 2011 1:53 PM GMT
    That's not a fair to the other guy.

    So what would you say if it was an openly gay dude who had done this?

    Also think about it. This dude stripped down as soon as he walked through the door. Does that sound like someone who is unsure about his sexuality? I think not. He "hit it and quit it" and left you holding the bags. he didn't play you since you wanted sex as well. Don't try to make him out to be the villain when you allowed it happen like this. You're just as guilty if not more so you can't really play the victim card and try to make him seem like he's got issues.

    That's just fucked up.

    Just call it what it was. A simple "fuck n' chuck" play by play. If anything it's your bad for expecting more out of a first date fuck.
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    Sep 09, 2011 1:55 PM GMT
    lol, He probably felt very comfortable during that tryst, which probably also gave him a scare later. It did with my ex. He felt a loss of control. Odd, interesting, but too much baggage for 20 year old me.

    -Doug
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    Sep 09, 2011 2:03 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidThat's not a fair to the other guy.

    So what would you say if it was an openly gay dude who had done this?

    Also think about it. This dude stripped down as soon as he walked through the door. Does that sound like someone who is unsure about his sexuality? I think not. He "hit it and quit it" and left you holding the bags. he didn't play you since you wanted sex as well. Don't try to make him out to be the villain when you allowed it happen like this. You're just as guilty if not more so you can't really play the victim card and try to make him seem like he's got issues.

    That's just fucked up.

    Just call it what it was. A simple "fuck n' chuck" play by play.

    Exactly what meninlove just said. He was probably comfortable with them getting it on in the moment and freaked out about it once he was alone with his own thoughts. An openly gay guy doing this would probably make me think that he was just playing the OP for the booty...it happens.
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    Sep 09, 2011 2:05 PM GMT
    wpbnole said
    Guy101 saidThat's not a fair to the other guy.

    So what would you say if it was an openly gay dude who had done this?

    Also think about it. This dude stripped down as soon as he walked through the door. Does that sound like someone who is unsure about his sexuality? I think not. He "hit it and quit it" and left you holding the bags. he didn't play you since you wanted sex as well. Don't try to make him out to be the villain when you allowed it happen like this. You're just as guilty if not more so you can't really play the victim card and try to make him seem like he's got issues.

    That's just fucked up.

    Just call it what it was. A simple "fuck n' chuck" play by play.

    Exactly what meninlove just said. He was probably comfortable with them getting it on in the moment and freaked out about it once he was alone with his own thoughts. An openly gay guy doing this would probably make me think that he was just playing the OP for the booty...it happens.


    No. Meninlove isn't saying what I'm saying. You might wanna re read his post and mine unless meninlove wants to set the record straight.
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    Sep 09, 2011 2:10 PM GMT
    Guy101 said
    wpbnole said
    Guy101 saidThat's not a fair to the other guy.

    So what would you say if it was an openly gay dude who had done this?

    Also think about it. This dude stripped down as soon as he walked through the door. Does that sound like someone who is unsure about his sexuality? I think not. He "hit it and quit it" and left you holding the bags. he didn't play you since you wanted sex as well. Don't try to make him out to be the villain when you allowed it happen like this. You're just as guilty if not more so you can't really play the victim card and try to make him seem like he's got issues.

    That's just fucked up.

    Just call it what it was. A simple "fuck n' chuck" play by play.

    Exactly what meninlove just said. He was probably comfortable with them getting it on in the moment and freaked out about it once he was alone with his own thoughts. An openly gay guy doing this would probably make me think that he was just playing the OP for the booty...it happens.


    No. Meninlove isn't saying what I'm saying. You might wanna re read it his post unless meninlove what's to set the record straight.

    I'm saying it's fucked up that the OP is assuming this guy has sexuality issues after the OP just got tapped as an excuse to what happened. I don't see it that way and it seems like an all too easy answer just to help the OP deal with it.


    I was referring to meninlove's most recent post on the thread but I was replying to you so I quoted you assuming we were following the conversation.
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    Sep 09, 2011 2:12 PM GMT
    Guy101, I think he's disagreeing with you by saying, "Exactly what meninlove just said." rather than saying you and I are saying the same thing.

    -Doug
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    Sep 09, 2011 2:13 PM GMT

    As for the other guy stripping down as soon as he was in the door, lol, pent up lust and desire had that same effect on my ex. The 'doing a bad thing' was a huge turn-on, until later when he'd gotten off and sanity ( a relative term) kicked in. icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 09, 2011 2:15 PM GMT
    I get that but you might wanna start from the top of the thread and read every post from there on because Meninlove hasn't said anything similar or exactly to anything that I said.

    He's agreeing with the OP and saying the guy might have issues afterwards whereas I'm saying the guy doesn't have any.
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    Sep 09, 2011 2:23 PM GMT
    Nah, I think you're confused.
    I did read the entire thread. I agree with the OP in that I think the guy has personal issues ( from the OP's testimony). I also agree with meninlove's post.
    For the record, I am, respectfully, disagreeing with you.
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    Sep 09, 2011 2:26 PM GMT
    I'm not confused at all and I stand by my answer. I don't think the dude has any issues and even if he does I don't think they had any bearing on what happened.

    That's just my opinion though since I prefer the simple answers to complicated scenarios. They just seem more practical.
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    Sep 09, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    the guy changed his mind after meeting the OP in person. Not sure what is so unusual about that. Thats what "dating" is.
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    Sep 09, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 saidthe guy changed his mind after meeting the OP in person. Not sure what is so unusual about that. Thats what "dating" is.


    Not just meeting him but fucking him too with a grand finale of a facial and THEN changed his mind about wanting to have any future dealings with him and considering how things went down to start with i don't find him entirely at fault.
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    Sep 09, 2011 2:44 PM GMT
    Who knows what he was thinking, unless you are a mind reader.
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    Sep 09, 2011 2:47 PM GMT
    Any guy that would actually str8 out communicate with you after a hookup is a special kind of guy.... a keeper. I had a similar hookup once. He seemed Ok online but when we met he was sweaty drunk and smoking and needed poppers to fuck. Not my kind of guy at all and told him so after the second date where he still came off as a slut.