Ever wished you weren't gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2011 4:44 PM GMT
    To clarify, this is NOT some self-esteem/identity discussion (way over-discussed). I was wondering if any of you have ever desired being straight instead.
    Assume love is a common concept for both straight and gay people (ie same satisfaction derived from both relationships). Would you rather avoid all that social stigma, legislative hurdles, rights etc etc, not to mention that period of internal struggle to accept yourself? Ever contemplated such notions, or wished you were straight because of this?
    Again, this is not a question of self-pity or whatnot - I'm speaking purely from a practical and curious perspective.
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    Sep 10, 2011 4:52 PM GMT
    Sometimes
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    Sep 10, 2011 4:58 PM GMT
    Challenges always teach you more than favors, being gay may not...at first glance be practical, but on second thought, there is nothing better than being a victim (i guess that word is arguable) in society, it forces you into corners and perspectives that you otherwise (might) not have traveled. i like being gay now, because after you accept it you realize it really doesn't matter, it just comes with some awesome benefits like not having to worry about pregnancy, bloody-periods, and the plus side, you get to date a just-as-horny a guy, someone who can help lift shit...hahah.

    long winded answer but...short answer?:

    since the day i came out when i was 12 years old the summer before high school, i have never wished to be straight
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    Sep 10, 2011 5:27 PM GMT
    yes
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    Sep 10, 2011 6:00 PM GMT
    theantijock saidNever wished but sometimes wondered. Only I've never found in my imagination a suitable substitute for being anyone but who I am.

    I've the capacity to fall in love emotionally with women just like I do with men and have fallen in love with both. But I never lust for women, only for men. I'm never turned on sexually by women, only by men. I don't think of women as being sexual beings just like I don't think of children or inanimate objects as being sexual.

    I'm comfortable with my sexuality but I am aware that while my sexuality most frequently aligns with my emotions, sometimes it does not and so I wonder. Also I've noticed myself wondering more as I grow older and more invisible to the gay world.

    I wonder when I see my brother with his wife and kids. And I wonder when I picture myself even older and frail as I remember how much we supported my mother in her last years, so I get a little sad to think I won't have that partly because of who I am.

    Do I ever wish I was someone else? No. Do I wish I had wings? No, but I wonder. Do I wish I enjoyed sex with females? No and I don't even wonder about that at all.


    Totally agree with a lot of what you just said. I think quite a bit about life in the future. I want to strt a family with a mother in the family unit, and yet it's so difficult and so unfair for the kids and her if it really were the case. Like you, I think I am attracted to women as well but it's barely as sexual as that toward males. Biggest thing I worry about is how this will affect the ones I love in the future...
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:30 PM GMT
    Sometimes i still do... though honestly I wish more the anti-gay talk by the religious would cease.... I blame them more than anyone... and actually, I blame the gays themselves, as they kind of let it happen by clandestinely becoming gay haters themselves icon_sad.gif
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:30 PM GMT
    Honestly ? yeah .. but once i log in RJ .. i feel better icon_smile.gif .. feel that am with my family icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:43 PM GMT
    When I was first coming to terms with my sexuality, I often wished that i could have just had the easy route in life. Then I got adjusted, and now I wouldn't trade being gay for being straight for a second!

    That said, I've often wondered—strictly academically—about what it would be like to be straight, and what kind of woman I would pursue as a mate. Then it occurs to me that I really don't like women in general.
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:43 PM GMT
    No... Never! I like being who I am. I think being gay taught me about having more compassion for people of other minorities. Being forced into a stereo type doesn't bother me, cause I have a lot of self confidence. I think when the confidence is lost, is when people try to hold anyone back from what they believe in.

    Plus I love the feel of a man way better then I did when I was dating women. Don't miss it at all. The cock helps too!!! icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:44 PM GMT
    All the time I wish I weren't gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:45 PM GMT
    No.
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:48 PM GMT
    NO. Next question?
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:49 PM GMT
    No. It's part of me. An important part. It's who I am. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:51 PM GMT
    Have pondered it, contemplated the possibility of it, even explored it.

    Never once truly wished I were Straight.

    Why would I - I am REALLY good at this. icon_twisted.gificon_wink.gif
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:54 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Scruffypup saidNO. Next question?
    Is there a correlation between internet browser choice and sexuality? icon_biggrin.gif



    Chrome here.
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:55 PM GMT
    Cash saidHave pondered it, contemplated the possibility of it, even explored it.

    Never once truly wished I were Straight.

    Why would I - I am REALLY good at this. icon_twisted.gificon_wink.gif



    Ehh....I'm better icon_twisted.gificon_wink.gificon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:55 PM GMT
    When your family isn't ok with it, yeah, those thoughts get in my head sometimes and it's tough to cope.

    Just have to take a deep breath and try not to revisit that dark place.icon_neutral.gif
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    Sep 10, 2011 10:58 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Cash saidHave pondered it, contemplated the possibility of it, even explored it.

    Never once truly wished I were Straight.

    Why would I - I am REALLY good at this. icon_twisted.gificon_wink.gif



    Ehh....I'm better icon_twisted.gificon_wink.gificon_twisted.gif


    Prove it.

    icon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 10, 2011 11:00 PM GMT
    sometimes on Mondays, never on Fridays.
  • Grubberboy

    Posts: 70

    Sep 10, 2011 11:08 PM GMT
    I played it straight for 40 years of my life. Now that I have come out, I am glad that I did. What I do regret is the fact that I made the pretense of being straight for all those years. You are what you are. Pretending otherwise is eventually going to bring you down one way or another.
  • Grubberboy

    Posts: 70

    Sep 10, 2011 11:12 PM GMT
    So, the answer is NO,
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Sep 10, 2011 11:13 PM GMT
    Have thought about it, and wished for it only because it might be easier without dealing with the social stigma from society and family. And the fact that having children someday will require a lot of time, money, paperwork, and effort on my part (as opposed to just getting drunk or unlucky for some straight people).

    But nothing worthwhile has come to me easily, and I feel a bit blessed sometimes for being gay. It is kind of cool to be in a part of history as a very select minority group at times.
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    Sep 10, 2011 11:14 PM GMT
    sometimes... i hated hurting my family...
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    Sep 10, 2011 11:15 PM GMT
    The fact this debate is happening at all shows how far we have yet to go and how little the pressures and assumptions in society have changed. Brilliant question! Oh, my answer is 'no'
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    Sep 10, 2011 11:38 PM GMT
    hairyandym saidsometimes... i hated hurting my family...


    YOU didn't hurt your family. Their lack of understanding impeded their own growth and lives. I trust they have grown to appreciate and love you for all that you are.

    Would you have felt as badly if you were straight and the woman you fell in love with was of the "wrong" race, or religion, or social status? Or would you have told your family to let go of their ignorance or else it would be their loss?