We're in a monogamous relationship: he's doing his part by staying committed...Me on the other hand...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2011 5:50 PM GMT
    i no theres probably a bunch of this kinda to post on RJ but i couldn't find one that fits my situation, so here it goes

    me and my boyfriend have been in a monogamous relationship for 9 months and neither of us are out. we are both still really into eachother. we still have amazing sex and are still really intimate with eachother

    Ever since we met on a4a, we both have deleted all our accounts on hookup sites we've had, but here's the problem: I keep giving into my urge to create a new account on a4a to just chat with other gay guys numerous times, even though I know it pisses my bf off to know that I have one... Since im not out and im in a rather big frat at my school I legitimately don't know any gay guys/dont associate with gay guys (yes i no, i no, i'm just lying to myself) so I dont really have any guys similar to myself to talk to when my bf is away and when i just dont feel like partying or watever with my brothers.
    (I remade a RJ account just so i could ask yall for advice)

    here's another problem with me...I'm starting to really notice other guys...other more..muscular and fit guys (my bf is a little on the chubby side but he's doing well with losing weight and stuff, which turns me on to him lol)

    I know I should talk to my bf about it, but the thing is, we've had this conversation a few times already and it always ends with me not knowing what to say that's different from all the other times and him being super pissed at me

    I personally feel like i should just end it with him because I dont want to keep emotionally hurting him cuz he's such a great all around guy who i dont wanna lose if i didn't have to....but at the same time I know how much breaking up with him would hurt him emotionally as well...so I'm kind of at a dead end and clueless on what to do...
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Sep 10, 2011 6:06 PM GMT
    tennisjockttu said
    I personally feel like i should just end it with him because I dont want to keep emotionally hurting him cuz he's such a great all around guy who i dont wanna lose if i didn't have to....but at the same time I know how much breaking up with him would hurt him emotionally as well...so I'm kind of at a dead end and clueless on what to do...

    You're not worried about hurting him. You're worried that you're not having enough sex. If you had it so good with him, why would you go outside of the relationship?

    You are not emotionally ready for this relationship and to settle down. You acknowledge this by knowing that you lie to yourself. You can choose to resist temptation, or you can choose to leave which you are wanting to do.

    You're at Texas Tech. It is freaking huge. There's plenty of gays.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2011 6:32 PM GMT
    stay off a4a guys on those sites are not looking for friends to hang out with or for chat they are looking for sex and could care less that you have a bf. if i found out a bf of mine had a profile on manhunt or a4a id dump his ass so fast.
    if you are worried about hurting your bf. breaking it off will hurt allot less than if you give into temptation and cheat and he finds out