RealJockers, share your dating MIXED SIGNALS stories here.

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    Sep 11, 2011 11:11 PM GMT
    Hi fellow RJers! It's been a while since I hosted a thread in the dating section, frankly because I have been pretty busy lately and I haven't really given it much thought on a good thread topic. However, I thought that I should get the tradition going again, and hopefully keeping it alive this time!

    Soooo....here is what I would like to talk about this time: Mixed Signals in dating. We know what it is, most of us do not like it because it means there are a lot of guessing work involved when a guy gives you mixed signals. I'll list a few examples:

    Example 1. The guy neglects you for like a friggin' week, no text, no call, no email, no nothing. When you just kind of given up already, all of the sudden you get a text saying, "oh I was soooo busy this week but I was thinking about you like everyday."
    (I know, *roll eyes*)

    Example 2. He'll say things like, "I think you're such a great catch, and I would like to date you" and right before the date is about to happen, he texts you and say, "I think you are very cute and sexy and you're gonna make somebody very happy someday, I was wishing that it would be me, but unfortunately I have nothing to give at the moment. (*roll eyes* #2)

    Example 3. (This actually happened to me). He will comment that you have beautiful eyes and he wants to kiss you, but when you go in for the kill, he's like, "did I say that you can kiss me?!" but later on during the date, he steals a kiss from you by making you turn your head in his direction. Of course you are kind of pissed and happy at the same time. lol.


    RJers, share you mixed signal stories, and tell us what happened at the end. I want endings!!
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    Sep 11, 2011 11:20 PM GMT
    Oh, um.

    I don't have any mixed signal stories. Usually they always sorta knew that they were gonna make something happen. Wellllll, ok. Nevermind. This is sorta mixed when I dated a guy.

    I was on myspace at the time and my friend told me that there was a guy that liked me in my class named Derek. Well, I messaged her back asking if it was the really hot black guy in the uniform that stared at me like a day or two ago. She comfirmed it so.


    So blah blah, we go out to eat for breakfast and he is just smiling at me. He gets up to leave and doesn't say anything really to me or looks at me. I'm staring at him, but he just says "See ya later" and walks off. Mind you there were two of our friends at the time with us.

    Anywho! I thought that was a really mixed signal because he was just all smiley the whole time and looked like he was really into me. The way he said his goodbye was throwing me off.


    We dated on and off for 3 and a half years. icon_redface.gif Andddd he's my best friend now.
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    Sep 11, 2011 11:29 PM GMT
    So was he just being shy? Or was he paying hard to get? What was it? Do tell. icon_smile.gif

    Yeah that was kinda mixed signal btw...
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    Sep 11, 2011 11:44 PM GMT
    The classics:

    He texts you and says he's missed you -- busy week -- but he's going to call you tomorrow. He never does

    He flirts with you, stares at you, makes eyes at you -- yet you can never pin him down on a date

    He goes out with you a few times, everything really seems to be going good -- but then he's suddenly overwhelmed and depressed and tired or whatever and can't go out "for a while" (read "forever")


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    Sep 11, 2011 11:53 PM GMT
    LittleDudeWithMuscles saidHe goes out with you a few times, everything really seems to be going good -- but then he's suddenly overwhelmed and depressed and tired or whatever and can't go out "for a while" (read "forever")

    This actually happened to a friend of mine. My friend goes out with this guy, and according to my friend, the date was so amazing that, "the Heavens opened up and were smiling at the both of them." and this guy was telling my friend things like, "Oh I can go on like this forever, I could see myself with you for the rest of my life" (this is like during the 4rd or 5th date, I don't remember. I'm not the victim). After a month of dating, all of the sudden this guy fell into a huge "depression" and told my friend that he can no longer sustain this "high level of happiness". What a bunch of bull shit! LMFAO!

    To give this guy credit, he did remain single for like, another 4-5 months (according to my friend).
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    Sep 11, 2011 11:56 PM GMT
    Rule 1, fellas.

    Repeat after me:

    Rule #1: "Never, ever... EVER, underestimate the flakiness of the gay male. Ever. "
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    Sep 11, 2011 11:58 PM GMT
    alphatrigger saidRule 1, fellas.

    Repeat after me:

    Rule #1: "Never, ever... EVER, underestimate the flakiness of the gay male. Ever. "


    Spill, Joe.
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    Sep 12, 2011 12:05 AM GMT
    Cityaznguy saidSo was he just being shy? Or was he paying hard to get? What was it? Do tell. icon_smile.gif

    Yeah that was kinda mixed signal btw...
    He was thinking that I wasn't really into him. He had big self-esteem issues.
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    Sep 12, 2011 1:46 AM GMT
    Cityaznguy said
    alphatrigger saidRule 1, fellas.

    Repeat after me:

    Rule #1: "Never, ever... EVER, underestimate the flakiness of the gay male. Ever. "


    Spill, Joe.


    Oh, I gotta save some conversational filler for the Meetup.

    I got one that is actually kinda epic from a few years ago icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 12, 2011 3:47 PM GMT
    I have one. Once I was on a date with this real hot guy, he told me that I'm not really his type right off the bat, but later that night he said that he would like to take me home and have hot sex with me. He then also told me that he had a boner when he first saw me. I was like, WTF.

    The sex was good btw. icon_redface.gif
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    Sep 12, 2011 3:52 PM GMT
    waimea saidI have one. Once I was on a date with this real hot guy, he told me that I'm not really his type right off the bat, but later that night he said that he would like to take me home and have hot sex with me. He then also told me that he had a boner when he first saw me. I was like, WTF.

    The sex was good btw. icon_redface.gif


    you are/were truly desperate weren't you? Some of you guys are weird.
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    Sep 12, 2011 3:54 PM GMT
    alphatrigger saidRule 1, fellas.

    Repeat after me:

    Rule #1: "Never, ever... EVER, underestimate the flakiness of the gay male. Ever. "


    +1

    I don't send mixed messages. If I'm not into you I will tell you right up front. And no I will not be later telling you I want to have sex with you.

    I've never had this mixed message thing. I have no idea what it is
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    Sep 12, 2011 4:18 PM GMT
    waimea saidI have one. Once I was on a date with this real hot guy, he told me that I'm not really his type right off the bat, but later that night he said that he would like to take me home and have hot sex with me. He then also told me that he had a boner when he first saw me. I was like, WTF.

    The sex was good btw. icon_redface.gif


    lmao! this is too funny.

    MadeNUSA said

    I've never had this mixed message thing. I have no idea what it is


    Seriously? I guess you just don't take any bullshit from people. Good for you!


    To all of you reading: Come on guys! Give me more of the good stuff! Give me some cake!

    moar1_Weird_Video_Game_Facts_Part_8-s567
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    Sep 12, 2011 4:50 PM GMT
    Here is one -

    Guy: Hey I saw your photos and think you are cute and would love to get together and get some coffee at Starbucks or go to 24 and workout.

    Me: Great that would be fun. However I am working on this project this week and can not make it. Can we reschedule for next Saturday for either Starbucks or Gym location and time?

    Guy: Sure, email me when you are ready.

    Me: Thanks.

    Me: Next Friday prior to Sat. Hey man I am free on Saturday and what about that coffee or workout at 24 Hrs Fitness?

    Guy: Who are you again? Can you send me your photo again?

    Me: Sure.

    Guy: 1 hour prior to meeting on Saturday. Hey man, we are not a match I looked at your photo again and I am not into you.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 12, 2011 5:06 PM GMT
    Not really a mixed signal, but a false one:

    Saw this guy I had briefly met at the same local gay club 2 months earlier. I renew our acquaintance, he tells me he's still not dating, and I decide I want this guy in my bed. We spend the night together dancing and drinking, and soon he's saying he'd like to go home with me. But just as closing time approaches I turn my back for a minute, another guy swoops in, and in a flash they're walking out the door together before I realize I'm standing at the bar alone like a fool.

    I return the next night in a very foul mood about getting robbed like that (at least as I saw it), and who's there but Mister Two-Faced. I waste no time telling him I thought his conduct the night before was very poor. His excuse: it was the other guy's last night in town, not sure when he'd return, whereas I lived right there. Plus the guy was in a hotel, and he thought that might be safer than going to a stranger's place. But he realized he'd made a mistake, blame it on drink, the sex was awful, and he should have stuck with his stated intention to leave with me.

    Now my anger is cooling, and I decide I'm gonna try one more time. I guard him like a sheepdog all night, practically posting police tape all around him to ward off the uninvited. I also make sure he talks to a few of my friends who've been to my home, working into the conversations how pleasant my place is, and well-known, not a House of Horrors for the unwary gay date. Once more closing time approaches, and I simply ask if he's going home with me. Yes, he answers, and he spent the whole night. We both agreed the sex was great. icon_biggrin.gif

    And we became BFs for the next 2 years from that very night. We'd still be together but he has a fear of monogamous commitment, never had a partner, nor a wife, though now almost 60. I finally had to pull the plug myself, I didn't want that kind of uncertainty in my life. We remain friends, speak on the phone frequently.
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    Sep 12, 2011 5:40 PM GMT
    uombroca saidHere is one -

    Guy: Hey I saw your photos and think you are cute and would love to get together and get some coffee at Starbucks or go to 24 and workout.

    Me: Great that would be fun. However I am working on this project this week and can not make it. Can we reschedule for next Saturday for either Starbucks or Gym location and time?

    Guy: Sure, email me when you are ready.

    Me: Thanks.

    Me: Next Friday prior to Sat. Hey man I am free on Saturday and what about that coffee or workout at 24 Hrs Fitness?

    Guy: Who are you again? Can you send me your photo again?

    Me: Sure.

    Guy: 1 hour prior to meeting on Saturday. Hey man, we are not a match I looked at your photo again and I am not into you.icon_rolleyes.gif

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    I died from laughing. What a douche
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    Sep 12, 2011 5:42 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidNot really a mixed signal, but a false one:

    Saw this guy I had briefly met at the same local gay club 2 months earlier. I renew our acquaintance, he tells me he's still not dating, and I decide I want this guy in my bed. We spend the night together dancing and drinking, and soon he's saying he'd like to go home with me. But just as closing time approaches I turn my back for a minute, another guy swoops in, and in a flash they're walking out the door together before I realize I'm standing at the bar alone like a fool.

    I return the next night in a very foul mood about getting robbed like that (at least as I saw it), and who's there but Mister Two-Faced. I waste no time telling him I thought his conduct the night before was very poor. His excuse: it was the other guy's last night in town, not sure when he'd return, whereas I lived right there. Plus the guy was in a hotel, and he thought that might be safer than going to a stranger's place. But he realized he'd made a mistake, blame it on drink, the sex was awful, and he should have stuck with his stated intention to leave with me.

    Now my anger is cooling, and I decide I'm gonna try one more time. I guard him like a sheepdog all night, practically posting police tape all around him to ward off the uninvited. I also make sure he talks to a few of my friends who've been to my home, working into the conversations how pleasant my place is, and well-known, not a House of Horrors for the unwary gay date. Once more closing time approaches, and I simply ask if he's going home with me. Yes, he answers, and he spent the whole night. We both agreed the sex was great. icon_biggrin.gif

    And we became BFs for the next 2 years from that very night. We'd still be together but he has a fear of monogamous commitment, never had a partner, nor a wife, though now almost 60. I finally had to pull the plug myself, I didn't want that kind of uncertainty in my life. We remain friends, speak on the phone frequently.



    Last call thieves are the absolute worst. They are scum of the scums.
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    Sep 12, 2011 6:02 PM GMT
    i thought you meant more along these lines of mixed signals....

    there was a guy at the gym who would always come over and talk to me when he'd see me. work in on sets and be very friendly. super nice guy and i thought he was pretty attractive. we talked a lot about sports...blah, blah, blah.

    so i decide to finally ask him out. i'd never seen him outside of the gym or anything. duke was playing maryland and he went to duke that coming weekend. sure enough, he sees me at the gym and comes over, we talk for a minute or two. i get up the courage and say, yes, i remember it clearly: "hey, you want to watch the game on saturday?" there's a pause, he looks at me and says: "dude, i'm totally straight."

    from then on out, we spoke maybe once or twice but it was awkward. my friends now love to tease me with that line..."dude, i'm totally straight."
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    Sep 12, 2011 6:07 PM GMT
    Cityaznguy said and this guy was telling my friend things like, "Oh I can go on like this forever, I could see myself with you for the rest of my life" (this is like during the 4rd or 5th date, I don't remember. I'm not the victim). After a month of dating, all of the sudden this guy fell into a huge "depression" and told my friend that he can no longer sustain this "high level of happiness". What a bunch of bull shit! LMFAO


    See...that almost makes me remember that I'd rather date an older guy who's slightly aloof but actually maintains the relationship over a significant period of time....than to date someone professing all this 'be with you forever' bullshit.

    You know it's all lies. And plus...How can someone think they'd want to spend the rest of their lives together and even confess such a thing.

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    Sep 12, 2011 6:09 PM GMT
    Let's see. I have millions of stories where guys act completely uninterested but turns out its the exact opposite. Plenty of times happened the other way around too.

    My most recent one happened this weekend. I met some guys at a bar that helped me sneak in by the bouncer because somehow I was without my wallet all night. One guy didn't talk to me much at all and pretty much acted like I wasn't there. Well yesterday I see him at piedmont park and he actually talks to me a little bit but then tells me to come hang out at his place (I thought he meant with other people too). So I go and its just him and pretty much immediately starts trying to cuddle and kiss me and tells me how cute/hot he thought I was. I was so taken off guard!

    Another real bad one was a few months ago. I met a guy at a bar (straight bar actually). We talk for a while and are extremely flirty. He gets my number and even kisses me before we leave. Then the next day we text and he tells me he has a boyfriend and he feels bad about kissing me. Oh cool buddy
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    Sep 12, 2011 6:11 PM GMT
    imasrxd saidi thought you meant more along these lines of mixed signals....

    there was a guy at the gym who would always come over and talk to me when he'd see me. work in on sets and be very friendly. super nice guy and i thought he was pretty attractive. we talked a lot about sports...blah, blah, blah.

    so i decide to finally ask him out. i'd never seen him outside of the gym or anything. duke was playing maryland and he went to duke that coming weekend. sure enough, he sees me at the gym and comes over, we talk for a minute or two. i get up the courage and say, yes, i remember it clearly: "hey, you want to watch the game on saturday?" there's a pause, he looks at me and says: "dude, i'm totally straight."

    from then on out, we spoke maybe once or twice but it was awkward. my friends now love to tease me with that line..."dude, i'm totally straight."


    lol thats still really funny, so he talks to you, hangs out with you (at the gym), is really friendly to you, you ask to do something not very romantic but friendly, and he KNOWS you are gay, and is now very unfriendly with you?

    I dont get it...
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    Sep 12, 2011 6:18 PM GMT
    KSUOWL saidMy most recent one happened this weekend. I met some guys at a bar that helped me sneak in by the bouncer because somehow I was without my wallet all night. One guy didn't talk to me much at all and pretty much acted like I wasn't there. Well yesterday I see him at piedmont park and he actually talks to me a little bit but then tells me to come hang out at his place (I thought he meant with other people too). So I go and its just him and pretty much immediately starts trying to cuddle and kiss me and tells me how cute/hot he thought I was. I was so taken off guard!


    That's totally hot. He's one of those silent but deadly kind icon_wink.gif

    KSUOWL saidAnother real bad one was a few months ago. I met a guy at a bar (straight bar actually). We talk for a while and are extremely flirty. He gets my number and even kisses me before we leave. Then the next day we text and he tells me he has a boyfriend and he feels bad about kissing me. Oh cool buddy


    That's totally douche. This is where silence is deadly icon_evil.gif
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    Sep 12, 2011 7:20 PM GMT
    Cityaznguy saidThat's totally hot. He's one of those silent but deadly kind icon_wink.gif


    Yeah I will admit, it was pretty hot haha icon_redface.gif


    Cityaznguy saidThat's totally douche. This is where silence is deadly icon_evil.gif


    Ah I know I was so pissed! I never deal with guys cheating on someone but this guy did the sneak on me!
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    Sep 12, 2011 7:34 PM GMT
    Mixed Signals 101:

    Back story- family owns a business here in New Hampshire, which I've been coming up to and working at for the past year when home from College. So I'm in and our randomly and mostly during summers and holidays etc... I hit the gym when I can up here.

    Since graduating in July and moving back home, I've been here in NH full time, so hitting the gym regularly.

    Over the past year or so, off and On I've noticed this guy in the gym. I am normally the LAST GUY to ever think people are checking me out. I don't feel 'hot' when I work out, I think I look like a hot sweaty mess, so assume nobody checks me out! But I DEFINITELY felt like this guy would use the machine right next to me, or get on the neighboring treadmill, or kind of hang in my general area a bit more than normal.. and I'd definitely caught eyes plenty of times to make me start thinking he was checking me out.

    So over the course of a few months of this (on and off as I was at the gym pretty regularly but only saw him there about once a week..) I start being like OK this dude definitely is into me but just quiet/shy whatever... So I figure I'll start to do my research. talk to the ladies at the gym; since I'm not a local, I don't really know people, but it's a small town so figured somebody must.

    Nobody really knew much about this guy,

    Anyway, keeping things short, I get his name, then facebook stalk the SHIT out of his ass... Find very little. Very private profile, not many FB friends etc. etc.. Just last week, however, I saw him again at the gym for the first time in a while, so hit up the FB profile again just for old time's sake, and he's got some more info listed. On his friends list, some chick with a hyphenated last name turns up, the first half of which is the same as his, so I'm like oh cool must be his sister. Figure being the creep I am I'll check out her Profile and see if she's got anything... TURNS OUT BITCH IS HIS WIFE AND THEY GOT MARRIED LIKE 4 MONTHS AGO.

    I LITERALLY HIT THE FLOOR IN SHOCK AND LAUGHTER. I am 100% serious when I say every time I bent over and did a downward dog, his eyes went straight to my ass... one time in the locker room I was changing and he walks in and whips his shirt off in the most ostentatious manner possible and wipes down his body with it in a very sexual way.. and he'd only been at the gym for 20 minutes (need I say I checked the sign in sheet? haha) Like I DEFINITELY GET GAYVIBES... yet here he was, MARRIED TO A WOMAN- WITH A DESTINATION WEDDING IN MEXICO AT THAT.

    I still can't get over it.. needless to say this week I'm anxious to hit the gym bearing this new info in mind.... just so I can really double check whether I'm just tooting my own horn or if he seriously IS shooting eyeballs my direction... should be interesting ;)


    OH and PS: sry... I know this is total TL;DR material!
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    Sep 12, 2011 8:22 PM GMT
    Jeandeau saidTURNS OUT BITCH IS HIS WIFE AND THEY GOT MARRIED LIKE 4 MONTHS AGO.

    I LITERALLY HIT THE FLOOR IN SHOCK AND LAUGHTER. I am 100% serious when I say every time I bent over and did a downward dog, his eyes went straight to my ass... one time in the locker room I was changing and he walks in and whips his shirt off in the most ostentatious manner possible and wipes down his body with it in a very sexual way.. and he'd only been at the gym for 20 minutes (need I say I checked the sign in sheet? haha) Like I DEFINITELY GET GAYVIBES... yet here he was, MARRIED TO A WOMAN- WITH A DESTINATION WEDDING IN MEXICO AT THAT.

    I still can't get over it.. needless to say this week I'm anxious to hit the gym bearing this new info in mind.... just so I can really double check whether I'm just tooting my own horn or if he seriously IS shooting eyeballs my direction... should be interesting ;)


    OH and PS: sry... I know this is total TL;DR material!


    I know it seems shocking, but I'm not the least bit surprised! I meet married men all the time that enjoy doing stuff with guys. I'm never surprised (well I lie, it still does surprise me occasionally).

    So yes, he is checking you out. Who knows, you may even get lucky. But don't take it any further than that.