Battle goes public on bullying of gay students

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    Sep 13, 2011 4:06 PM GMT
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44499772/ns/us_news-the_new_york_times/#.Tm9-B-vyCy4

    A group of district parents who are closely allied with the family council declined to be interviewed. Their Web site says that depression among gay teenagers is often the fault of gay rights advocates who create hopelessness: “When a child has been deliberately misinformed about the causes of homosexuality and told that homosexual acts are normal and natural, all hope for recovery is taken away.” Recovery???

    And that is what Republican supporters here also believe. And the politicians they support and for whom they urge us to vote.

    Through it all, conservative Christian groups have demanded that the schools avoid any descriptions of homosexuality or same-sex marriage as normal, warning against any surrender to what they say is the “homosexual agenda” of recruiting youngsters to an “unhealthy and abnormal lifestyle.”

    Adding an extra incendiary element, the school district has suffered eight student suicides in the last two years, leading state officials to declare a “suicide contagion.” Whether antigay bullying contributed to any of these deaths is sharply disputed; some friends and teachers say four of the students were struggling with issues of sexual identity.


    Good work, right-wingers! More dead gay students you can notch on your belts!
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    Sep 13, 2011 7:24 PM GMT
    I am trying really hard not to worry about upcoming elections.

    Kids have to develop a thick skin to prepare them for college and workplace interaction. I observed this when I went to college with fellow students who were homeschooled or went to a private school.

    That being said, we need hard limits and consequences. If you have a workable solution, educators would love to hear of it.

    A close friend of mine is a public high school teacher in science. Teachers are versed in the psychology of bullying. But, teachers are swamped with state budget cuts, standardized testing, dealing with a wide spectrum of issues ranging from homelessness, starvation, parent issues, and autism.

    We're screwed because this will only change by parents demonstrating that nothing less than tolerance is acceptable.


    In my situation, I was taunted a lot in the second grade after being raised in South Carolina but relocated to Illinois. In the 70's, school bus bullying was epidemic, aggravated by my southern accent.

    The end result is I'm impossible to offend.

    Have I thought of suicide?

    Yeah. But, I was taught through my faith that it has consequences.

    Before you click "Reply", try dropping the prescription SSRI drug Lexapro quickly because it made you bad at sex. I was alarmed at how vivid and tangible my thoughts of suicide were. Despite the benefits during the first three years of that drug and its counterpart, Celexa, I no longer recommend those drugs to my friends suffering from depression.


  • smudgedude

    Posts: 260

    Sep 13, 2011 9:01 PM GMT
    it's funny that they still think people actively and consciously choose to be gay.
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    Sep 13, 2011 11:18 PM GMT
    smudgedude saidit's funny that they still think people actively and consciously choose to be gay.


    And even if it was the case ?
    We don't need excuses to justify we like men.
    Disputing about born with vs acquire taste for same sex is playing on opponents play field.
    The real debate is about how legitimate it is for a group of people to forbid private behavior to others. And I do consider sexuallity between consenting adults a private business.
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    Sep 13, 2011 11:59 PM GMT
    RobertF64 said...Have I thought of suicide?

    Yeah. But, I was taught through my faith that it has consequences.

    Me, too, I faced suicide moments in my teens. I think my confusion & turmoil over being gay was a part of it. In deep denial, I never was able to understand why I wasn't "normal" and accepted, always the outsider.

    But then I was disfigured and brain damaged at 19, my future ruined, and I really didn't want to live anymore. Without friends, cold & distant parents who could neither accept me for being gay nor love me emotionally, just indulge me with money, I finally just gave up.

    Failing after several suicide attempts, I joined the Army. A last attempt at indirect suicide during Vietnam, and for other reasons as well, I unexpectedly found something I was good at, even as mentally diminished as I now was. And I got praised & rewarded there, for the first time in my life. And I smoked all those puffed-up, conceited jocks, who had humiliated & dissed me when I was a nerdy wimp in school, ran circles around them. Is it any surprise I stayed for 25 years?

    Moral: when you finally find your place in life, you'll no longer face suicide, but success. With the corollary, if you're thinking about suicide, it's because you haven't yet found your role in life, which may be in the last place you were expecting it. Just like happened to me. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 14, 2011 12:03 AM GMT
    RobertF64 said
    We're screwed because this will only change by parents demonstrating that nothing less than tolerance is acceptable.




    Yeah. But, I was taught through my faith that it has consequences.



    I find it intertesting that you haven't connected those two statements together.
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    Sep 14, 2011 3:45 AM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    RobertF64 said
    We're screwed because this will only change by parents demonstrating that nothing less than tolerance is acceptable.




    Yeah. But, I was taught through my faith that it has consequences.



    I find it intertesting that you haven't connected those two statements together.


    I don't.

    Back to the subject at hand:

    I support organizations such as the "It Gets Better" project as stopping bullying on school grounds isn't enough. Teachers witness bullying but students often fail to open up to school staff.

    http://www.facebook.com/itgetsbetterproject

    I have no reason to believe parents across the Western World are motivated to encourage greater tolerance in their children until we hold adults to a higher standard for themselves.

    Impressions parents have on children start as early as Kindergarten. Stepping in when they're Sophomores, it isn't effective.
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    Sep 14, 2011 3:56 AM GMT
    RobertF64 said
    I have no reason to believe parents across the Western World are motivated to encourage greater tolerance in their children until we hold adults to a higher standard for themselves.


    And why would you think that parents will hold themselves to a higher standard if their belief standard requires them to not tolerate?
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    Sep 14, 2011 4:14 AM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    RobertF64 said
    I have no reason to believe parents across the Western World are motivated to encourage greater tolerance in their children until we hold adults to a higher standard for themselves.


    And why would you think that parents will hold themselves to a higher standard if their belief standard requires them to not tolerate?


    Because adults they interact with tolerate and accept business as usual.

    I don't see any difference between this and adults who pass their racial intolerance to their children.


    But, since I'm pessimistic about human nature, I believe strangers need to get the courage to step in and support victims of discrimination.

  • Jaxom

    Posts: 118

    Sep 14, 2011 4:14 AM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    RobertF64 said
    I have no reason to believe parents across the Western World are motivated to encourage greater tolerance in their children until we hold adults to a higher standard for themselves.


    And why would you think that parents will hold themselves to a higher standard if their belief standard requires them to not tolerate?

    Which in itself is part of the problem because tolerance is in most religions a belief standard. =/

    edit: or perhaps I misunderstood.
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    Sep 14, 2011 4:21 AM GMT
    Jaxom said
    TropicalMark said
    RobertF64 said
    I have no reason to believe parents across the Western World are motivated to encourage greater tolerance in their children until we hold adults to a higher standard for themselves.


    And why would you think that parents will hold themselves to a higher standard if their belief standard requires them to not tolerate?

    Which in itself is part of the problem because tolerance is in most religions a belief standard. =/

    edit: or perhaps I misunderstood.
    No.. you got it!
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    Sep 14, 2011 4:22 AM GMT
    RobertF64 said

    Because adults they interact with tolerate and accept business as usual.

    I don't see any difference between this and adults who pass their racial intolerance to their children.


    But, since I'm pessimistic about human nature, I believe strangers need to get the courage to step in and support victims of discrimination.

    I'm talking about institutionalized 'biblical' based discrimination.
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    Sep 14, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    Jaxom said
    TropicalMark said
    RobertF64 said
    I have no reason to believe parents across the Western World are motivated to encourage greater tolerance in their children until we hold adults to a higher standard for themselves.


    And why would you think that parents will hold themselves to a higher standard if their belief standard requires them to not tolerate?

    Which in itself is part of the problem because tolerance is in most religions a belief standard. =/

    edit: or perhaps I misunderstood.


    You present a valid point about faith-based indoctrination of intolerance of all types.

    We are back to fighting this on two fronts: discourage this behavior in adults we interact with and protect and support the victims.

    I've been guilty of referring to a family from Mexico as "the Mexican family down the street.".

    A blond woman I had to interact with on my old HOA board (PTA president, HOA vice president, named Jessica. Stereotypical nightmare) found a way to make damn sure I think twice about using that term in public again.

    More people need to confront this type of behavior, even if it is faith based.

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    Sep 14, 2011 4:25 AM GMT
    Art_Deco saidhttp://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44499772/ns/us_news-the_new_york_times/#.Tm9-B-vyCy4



    And that is what Republican supporters here also believe. And the politicians they support and for whom they urge us to vote.



    Good work, right-wingers! More dead gay students you can notch on your belts!



    So tired of supposed to be elders that we "respect" showing us what not to do. Why group them all together? I'm a republican-ish person, and you label me as if I share every word and belief as ann coulter or McCain.
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    Sep 14, 2011 8:27 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    RobertF64 said...Have I thought of suicide?

    Yeah. But, I was taught through my faith that it has consequences.

    Me, too, I faced suicide moments in my teens. I think my confusion & turmoil over being gay was a part of it. In deep denial, I never was able to understand why I wasn't "normal" and accepted, always the outsider.

    But then I was disfigured and brain damaged at 19, my future ruined, and I really didn't want to live anymore. Without friends, cold & distant parents who could neither accept me for being gay nor love me emotionally, just indulge me with money, I finally just gave up.

    Failing after several suicide attempts, I joined the Army. A last attempt at indirect suicide during Vietnam, and for other reasons as well, I unexpectedly found something I was good at, even as mentally diminished as I now was. And I got praised & rewarded there, for the first time in my life. And I smoked all those puffed-up, conceited jocks, who had humiliated & dissed me when I was a nerdy wimp in school, ran circles around them. Is it any surprise I stayed for 25 years?

    Moral: when you finally find your place in life, you'll no longer face suicide, but success. With the corollary, if you're thinking about suicide, it's because you haven't yet found your role in life, which may be in the last place you were expecting it. Just like happened to me. icon_biggrin.gif


    Amen.


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    Sep 19, 2011 5:57 AM GMT
    Washington State anti-bullying student legislature.



    http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=28A.300.285


    RCW 28A.300.285
    Harassment, intimidation, and bullying prevention policies and procedures — Model policy and procedure — Training materials — Posting on web site — Rules — Advisory committee.
  • Yousha

    Posts: 27

    Sep 19, 2011 6:46 AM GMT
    sexuality as being a personal thing is hard to discuss with others and even harder when u struggle with ur own sexual identity.........
    and for people of my age, with great expectations of future life in one sec and hopelessness the other........as happens to all teenagers i think..........it is even harder to stick with one possible way of life.............
  • stefanapolis

    Posts: 65

    Sep 19, 2011 7:19 AM GMT
    They're not Christians, they're bigots who hide behind religion

    Religion is often used as a tool and justification for a persons hatred, bigoted behavior, and persecution. Its nothing new, the crusades, the inquisition, obviously I could go on, but you get it.
    Really Christians should be ashamed of these people who say they speak for them and should really start to speak out against them louder.

    As much as the superintendent want to obviously be the peace keeper for both sides. He needs to put his foot down and fix the problem, not remain neutral, I understand the stance, I assume he has to get re-elected, I think, that's an elected position, correct? feel free to correct me if I am wrong on that matter. I find it interesting that this is such an issue as of late in the suburbs. Growing up in a suburban, socially liberal suburban community mind you, we never had issues with bullying of any kind.

    They're will always be bullying, it happens with kids, I would think programs better suited would be to show kids how to deal with it mentally and how to not take it. I was made of fun through out school for something or another. Its part of growing up. You learn to not take it personally and develop thicker skin to the world.

    so many points, sorry for no proper segways, but! back to the initial comment, really Christians really need to start fighting those who use their beliefs as justification for their hatred. I mean, from what I learned about the bible, Jesus loved all and died for their sins. and I'm pretty sure Jesus would like the gays if he was alive today! just saying
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Sep 19, 2011 7:47 AM GMT
    The meak shall inherit the Earth. Pour some gasoline on a Bible and throw it at them! Then the bottle of gasoline! It's time to be as brave as the civil rights workers who died to end racial segregation.