Whats the Outcome? SIMILAR INTERESTS, DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 13, 2008 12:28 PM GMT
    I always find it interesting to ask those of you who are in relationships, have had or date seriously...
    How do you fare when you share some aspect, but differ on some other important one.....

    Meaning, if you share similar personalities, but have nothing in common.... or

    You have similar interests, but you really do have different personalities or ways of relating to one another.

    My bf share many interests, its great, but we have different personalities and it can be challenging at times. He is very inflexible, doesn't communicate when he gets angry, very different than I.

    Your take?
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    May 13, 2008 2:52 PM GMT
    I was in a similiar situation as you. We had a lot of the same interests and definitely enjoyed our time together, but our personalities were much different. I am a type A to the T and he well, wasn't! Love the guy to death, but things just didn't work out. We wanted different things out of life.

    I think either way, personalities or interests, can make or break a couple. I think it can work if there are variances in both, it's just a matter of effort.
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    May 13, 2008 3:32 PM GMT
    My last ex was passive aggressive, sneaky, etc., yet tried to portray a facade of truthiness like I've never seen. We had a LOT of common interests, but major trust issues. I'm all bluster and insistence, structure and discipline. He was 'go with the flow.' Grr.
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    May 13, 2008 4:07 PM GMT
    Firecat and I have lots in common.

    But he is much more laid back. I become frustrated when things do move along as I think they should. But I know when I have crossed the line with him, because he calls me "David" instead of "sweetie." .... icon_eek.gif
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    May 13, 2008 4:27 PM GMT
    My Numero Uno and l have a few different tastes like football teams for one. Also we get on very well so far, he is studying a lot and we are not together so I guess when he finishes in June and we are together that will tell? He is more jealous than I as I don't see the point of Jealousy unless something real bad happens between us? Last summer we spent a lot of time together and he is a bit of a stay at home cuddler and that's fine but I do like to go out to the beach a lot and he does not like to Tan but he can swim well. Theatre and arts and books TV cinema we both share interests and clothes I love them but he will only buy Brand Name and not so many? As far as Bars Discos we like that in small doses!
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    May 13, 2008 5:53 PM GMT
    I used to find clones of myself and date them, people with very similar interests, personalities, emotional disorders. The worst in me I find tolerable in myself, but insufferable in others. So I stopped doing that a few years ago and am much happier for it.
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    May 14, 2008 3:10 AM GMT
    My most recent ex and I had numerous clashes until one day I hit upon an ingenious solution.

    I had him killed.
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    May 14, 2008 9:21 PM GMT
    In my relationships there have been many good aspects, and maybe some areas where we had different ways of seeing things. Communication and compromise are very important to the success of any relationship. After awhile in some situations, a person's faults may emerge, and if those faults loom larger than his good points, ultimately the relationship may be doomed.
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    May 14, 2008 9:23 PM GMT
    I always let the other person just be themselves...


    and I pretend they are someone different.
    icon_smile.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 16, 2008 10:16 AM GMT
    For some reason the guys I've been involved with were all fairly similar in temperament and personality to me
    but the ones who were slightly different were the ones that had more lasting power as far as longevity in the relationship went
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    May 16, 2008 8:28 PM GMT
    We have several similar interests but also have some we do not share. For example, we both love to go to independent films and a few films produced for the mass audience. We also love to travel, experiencing new cultures. I love to go to the beach and be outside and active and workout. He hates going to the beach and really would prefer not to sweat, but does not mind being outside if it is at a slow pace like walking in the woods. He is a prolific reader and I love to read but do not do it as much as he does so he is much more knowledgeable than I about most things except for science. What we share is our values and that is why we are still together today, or at least, that has a lot to do with it.

    Our personalities are different. I am much more likely to make friends but he is more likely to want to keep the few friends he has had for years. I am more of a perfectionist than he is about doing a job, but he will more likely to get the job done quicker and it will be done just as well as I would have done, really. He is more secretive and I am a blabbermouth. Ask me a question and I cannot lie even if it is totally embarrassing.icon_redface.gif These differences do cause problems of course, but it is the differences that also keep us together as we are not spending all our time together and each of us has a lot of time to express ourselves individually.
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    May 16, 2008 9:32 PM GMT
    I may be too nice for my own good. haha
    I usually give everyone a chance; just being as diverse as possible.

    I have dated people on both the same level as me and also on the opposite spectrum.
    In some ways, those similar in personality and temperament were easier to talk to (because I could relate to them) but also had the same frustrations in communication that I have which made it challenging sometimes. Those on a different level I found to be more interesting because of the fact that they were different.

    Haven't been in very many relationships so I am still trying to get the hang of things.
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    May 17, 2008 12:28 AM GMT
    I am absolutely totally unique, so no worries about finding someone with a similar personality, or even that many similar interests.icon_rolleyes.gif

    I fell in love with a guy who has a good heart, is considerate, kind and affectionate with me and does not talk non-stop. Oh and did I mention sexy?
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    May 18, 2008 5:34 AM GMT
    For the most part, i think 2 ppl in a relationship having diferent personalitied is more of a good thing because that way, both partied can comliment one another's strengths and counter their weaknesses...learn from one another and grow together. What's better than 2 ppl that can balance each other out?