Guys Just Turning 40, What Should Guys Starting 30s Do in the Next Ten 10 Years?

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    Sep 14, 2011 6:34 AM GMT
    Honestly excited about my 30s and wanted to get perspective and recommendations from guys who just finished that decade of their lives. For this phase, what would you recommend adding to my ten-year bucket list?
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    Sep 14, 2011 6:41 AM GMT
    Everyone is turning 30 here. What is going on?
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    Sep 14, 2011 12:58 PM GMT
    interesting question (for a change). looking forward to the replies! or just waiting to see how soon this one becomes a cat fight, or someone posts a nude of a 40 year old guy
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    Sep 14, 2011 1:10 PM GMT
    I'll be 49 next month....and I've found this saying to be true:

    We don't stop playing because we grow old,
    We grow old because we stop playing...

    Keep learning, doing the things you love and being with the people you love, and age becomes nearly irrelevant.

  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Sep 14, 2011 1:15 PM GMT
    OaklandRocks saidI'll be 49 next month....and I've found this saying to be true:

    We don't stop playing because we grow old,
    We grow old because we stop playing...

    Keep learning, doing the things you love and being with the people you love, and age because nearly irrelevant.



    Thanks, that was inspirational.
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    Sep 14, 2011 1:18 PM GMT
    Yeah, don't stop playing. Or you will end up old and boring.

    Find someone to love and be happy.
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    Sep 14, 2011 1:39 PM GMT
    amen
  • patmos9990

    Posts: 146

    Sep 14, 2011 1:46 PM GMT
    In your 20s you have alot of bar friends and acquaintances that come and go. Spend your 30's turning important friendships into long lasting ones.
  • str8hardbody9

    Posts: 1519

    Sep 14, 2011 1:50 PM GMT
    HaightLifting saidHonestly excited about my 30s and wanted to get perspective and recommendations from guys who just finished that decade of their lives. For this phase, what would you recommend adding to my ten-year bucket list?


    1. Save more money. Be adventurous explore the unexplored. Travel around the world. Go to cities or countries you never been before. Learn their cultures, arts & custom.

    2. There comes a time in your life when you realize who will always matter, who does matter and who never did, don't worry about the people from the past. There's a reason why did not make it to your future. You can define your own destiny despite whatever happened to the past. Being old comes with time but feeling old comes with bitterness.

    3. Most of all, enjoy life to the fullest. Love life, live to experience moments that takes your breath away. Remember you don't need a man to make your life complete, being single is just fine. Don't settle for less always settle for the best.

    Good luck and wish you well. God Bless!!


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    Sep 14, 2011 1:55 PM GMT
    patmos9990 saidIn your 20s you have alot of bar friends and acquaintances that come and go. Spend your 30's turning important friendships into long lasting ones.


    Absolutely great advice--that's what got me to 40 in the first place!

    If you haven't done it yet, start living your life for yourself and not for other people. I disagree that you need an MBA--I know that wouldn't make me happy. Follow your bliss: if making money IS what motivates you, then sure, do the MBA. If what makes you feel life is worth living is helping other people, then discover what gifts you've got within you that will let you do that.

    I'm not saying money doesn't have a place, though. At the VERY least, start a retirement investment plan. Get some advice from a reputable financial planner. He'll also help you refine what you want out of your 40s, 50s, and later, and how to get there.
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    Sep 14, 2011 1:59 PM GMT
    Stop working and start pursuing your childhood dream job as a career. That way you never go to work again - instead, you go play with your hobbies and get paid for doing it. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 14, 2011 2:04 PM GMT
    Some stuff I'd recommend.

    use sunscreen ;)
    do yoga
    get quality rest
    do some charity work

    They sound a little lame I guess, but you're heading into one of the most important decades of your life, seek some balance in all things.
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    Sep 14, 2011 2:10 PM GMT
    1. Don't let your age define your limits, physically.. when you do, that's when you really grow older inside.

    2. that being said... Stay active, watch your weight and get some sleep. a lot of gay men in their 30s guys assume they can continue to eat poorly forever... a body does change how it metabolizes food.. even the skinny guys can end up with a gut, I've seen it a few times. Plus as time goes on it does get harder to get back into shape.. avoid that effort and just stay that way and life well to begin with

    3. Drug and alcohol abuse, smoking and excessive partying will only age you faster. Just avoid it no matter how tempting. don't sacrifice half your your life for a couple years of popularity and good times. In the last 20 years I've watched dozens of popular 20 and 30 something a-list party boys that chain smoked, took stimulants to party all night and drank cocktails in excess become the guys in their 40s and 50s who look as burned out as Keith Richards.... I'm so glad now i didn't participate in their lifestyle.

    4. Avoid stress, drama and negative people when you can.. all of them are toxic to your happiness and will only age you faster. and don't assume a relationship is the road to happiness. many gay men get desperate in their 30s and latch onto someone who isn't right for them and end up in bad relationships. always remember: "single" doesn't always mean lonely. the same way "relationship" doesn't always mean happy.

    5. practice safe sex.
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    Sep 14, 2011 3:01 PM GMT
    1. Cultivate a lifestyle that promotes a healthy body and a healthy mind.

    That means taking proactive steps like exercising, eating right and doing the regular check-ups at your doctor and especially your dentist (I cannot kiss a guy with bad teeth, and more than half the guys in their forties that I have met haven't had their teeth seen to or even professionally cleaned in over two years).

    It also means doing stuff that will make you happy, like some kind of physical activity, a hobby (shopping is not a hobby), making friends and learning to keep them, and making sure your financial life begins to look stable by putting some aside for old age....

    2. Have lots of safe sex with someone you love.

    3. The closer you get to forty, some youngsters will say things, mostly unintentionally, that will make you feel old. Don't let it get to you. In my experience, most of them will seek to have sex with an over 40 year old. Go figure!!!

    Finally: Don't worry, Be happy! Even if you have to force yourself to smile. Your body doesn't know that you're faking a smile, so it will release those feel-good chemicals anyway.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Sep 14, 2011 3:06 PM GMT
    Just know that your best decades are ahead of you -- the 40's are awesome, and so far the 50's even better -- so turning 30 you have a decade to get yourself in the best shape you can be, adjusting your routine to a healthy, fitness-minded lifestyle so you go into those later decades feeling better about life than ever before.
  • Bigolbear

    Posts: 528

    Sep 14, 2011 3:19 PM GMT
    I just turned 40 last month so I recently finished my 30's. My "goal" for my 30's was to get my finances in order. Use this decade to push your carear to the next level. Look at your 20's and see if you are headed down the right path and decide if you need to retrain or seek additional training. Figure out what it takes to get you to a level of income versus expenses to where you can start investing better and commit more to your nest egg. I managed to get completely in the black with ZERO debt by the end of my thirties and that was house, car, and everything.

    I also used my 30's to fix whatever I could, health wise, with my body. Yeah, I'm still working on that a bit. I knew that all the extra weight was going to be harder to fight in my 40s and 50s so I used this decade to lose what I could and I ended up reversing my diabetes. No more insulin. YAY!

    My 40's goals? Well, I'm giving myself a few more months to figure that out. I'm sure it's to continue what I started but I think I can push it up more.

    (Edited to add: 40's goals for me is going to have to include stress reduction.)
  • DCguy2001

    Posts: 314

    Sep 14, 2011 3:53 PM GMT
    Echoing what some other people have said:

    1. Eat right.

    2. Exercise

    3. Find time for friends and relationships...and fall in love if you're lucky.

    4. In terms of work - find something you enjoy doing. My biggest regret is putting myself on a career path that I now regret, and it's frustrating/challenging to try and take steps backward to chart a new course.

    5. Life isn't all about money (see #4), but try to save some so you can start building up a nest egg.
  • dhinkansas

    Posts: 764

    Sep 14, 2011 4:19 PM GMT
    Plan ahead is my biggest advice. One day you're 30, then 35, and before you are ready or realize it 45 rolls around. I don't know at 50 if I'm any wiser or all of that stuff people to tell you to ease the pain of not being 35 or 40 anymore, but I recognize the importance of planning ahead financially for the next 15 years, because now I know how fast the last 15 went.

    Life doesn't stop at milestone birthdays like 30, 40, 50, or 60. Your world is what you make it to be.
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    Sep 14, 2011 4:37 PM GMT
    sc69 said

    use sunscreen ;)


    QFT.
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    Sep 16, 2011 12:28 PM GMT
    bump
  • 24hourguy

    Posts: 364

    Sep 16, 2011 1:20 PM GMT
    Develop a habit of saving money and contribute to your retirement-fund regularly

    Pay-off those credit cards!!!!

    If you've been thinking about a career change or going back to school; do it now

    Cultivate healthy relationships (friends, family, work etc) -lovingly walk away from the ones that are not working

    (if applicable) sober-up, drop the drugs, quit smoking

    I agree w/ previous poster: Sunblock!

    Don't panic about being single, -work on yourself. Ask; "What do I bring to a relationship?" Instead of "I need someone (anyone) to fix me".

    no drama=good life











  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2011 1:12 AM GMT
    Thanks for the answers guys. What I'm getting out of this so far is: Your 30s are an ideal time to get your health and finances in ideal shape and start some preventative maintenance, like sunscreen.
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    Sep 18, 2011 1:33 AM GMT
    OaklandRocks saidI'll be 49 next month....and I've found this saying to be true:

    We don't stop playing because we grow old,
    We grow old because we stop playing...

    Keep learning, doing the things you love and being with the people you love, and age becomes nearly irrelevant.



    Love the quote....so very true!!!
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    Sep 18, 2011 1:54 AM GMT
    Having just turned 40 this year, the things I've learned are this:

    Exercise more, drink less. Start eating things that are good for you and stop eating things that are bad for you. You'll feel much better and your doctor will give you kudos.

    If you haven't already, start taking money, career, and savings seriously. It's not that long before you retire, as unthinkable as that is at 30. Invest in more education if necessary, but do something that balances doing what you love with making as much money as you can. You're going to need it.

    Invest in life experiences. Go and see the world. Do the things you don't think you can do.

    Make time to foster friendships. In the era of Facebook, it's easy to think status updates suffice for maintaining a friendship. They don't. Make a habit of inviting friends over or having lunch on the weekends.

    Moisturize and use sunscreen.
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    Sep 18, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    Tons of great advice above me here. I'm almost 40 (next year) and the one thing I can add - that I would do differently is to be kinder, nicer, better to the people in your life who are good to you (unless you're already being the best you can be to them). For me I am trying to be kinder to the good people, and harder, firmer on the few users and creeps who really don't give a shit about me. I spent a little too much time being nice to people who did not deserve it, and that good time should have been spent on better people. Not a problem - I've cured myself of vicious, gossipy, users. Let those people go and let only the good people get close to you.