Anyone so picky, you fear you'll be alone forever?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2011 5:41 AM GMT
    I'm attracted to guys and girls (guys more than girls I guess), but I'm 21 and I've never been in a relationship or hooked up with anyone. I'm just so picky when it comes to looks. And the people I find attractive, don't want anything to do with me. I personally don't think I'm ugly, but I definitely need to get in shape which I am working on. I am fully aware that I am not Brad Pitt, and I have no right to be so picky, but it's just the way I am and I can't help it. I just can't get involved with someone on a romantic or sexual level if I'm not attracted to them...and there are very few people in the 'real world' that I find attractive. I need help. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:00 PM GMT
    Daily, but I'm not big on compromise on the major factors
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:03 PM GMT
    I'm not picky so much as I am particular. You'd be surprised how hard it is to find a normal guy.
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:05 PM GMT
    Hi. Welcome to my life.

    My standards aren't all THAT high IMO... just be hot, masculine, preferably blond, and not a terrible person... but alas, foreveralone.jpg.
  • kuroshiro

    Posts: 786

    Sep 18, 2011 2:06 PM GMT
    Several friends of mine have kicked me for letting some "damn good ones go" in the past... not that I was ever really dating or into them (no, I never slept with them either). It's just after you get to know them for a while there's a little switch that just goes *click* and something doesn't jive well.

    But, at my age now, I do feel as though I'll never find anyone... all the ones I want are either taken or uninterested. But, I've pretty much taken a vow of celibacy and some time to myself, so I'm not looking. It's nice, but it sucks at the same time.
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:08 PM GMT
    Try and boil down what it is about a guy you think is attractive. You may be surprised to find that a physical trait is substituting for an emotional/personality trait. Knowing not only what you're attracted to, but why that attracts you, really opens up the dating possibilities.
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:23 PM GMT
    Your 21. You have time to change your perspective.
  • mrsmithers

    Posts: 213

    Sep 19, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    Funny im more picky now then I was at 21.. I guess u must not have found what u are capable of.. Example: If ur some 300 pound guy who sits on the couch all day eating ice cream and potato chips, and ur after the muscle bound or the ones with a well defined body, or even average, the only sex ur gonna find is the hand, unless u want to hire escorts...
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    Sep 19, 2011 2:10 AM GMT
    yup
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    Sep 19, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    Yep, I'm very picky unfortunately. I hate it, but it stems from being very involved emotionally and physically with a really hot guy. Now, when I look for a guy, I come up very disappointed since they do not come close to being as attractive as the former guy. This gives me the feeling I will be a alone forever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2011 2:34 AM GMT
    am not that picky but there r main things i need to have in my bf
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    Sep 19, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    I'm not really picky. On the flip side of this though I think it's really annoying when other people comment on the people you date or hookup and say "you can do better" or "ew are you really with that"


    Everyone has different opinions on what they find attractive. So next time your friend is dating someone you think is not the standard hold your tongue, it's quite rude.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    I know you what you mean my friend.... I am very picky. However, my pickiness is about stupid things... ie, I am not a huge drinker, so I really cannot take people who like booze it up. That's time we could spending (sober I might add) trying to get to know one another
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    Sep 19, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    idk, i have a list of "requirements" and a list of "preferences" on my profile. does that make me 2 picky? prob, but i'm young, and i have standards. what happens if i don't find a guy who meets my standards? guess i'll die a virgin.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Sep 19, 2011 3:16 AM GMT
    kuroshiro saidSeveral friends of mine have kicked me for letting some "damn good ones go" in the past... not that I was ever really dating or into them (no, I never slept with them either). It's just after you get to know them for a while there's a little switch that just goes *click* and something doesn't jive well.

    But, at my age now, I do feel as though I'll never find anyone... all the ones I want are either taken or uninterested. But, I've pretty much taken a vow of celibacy and some time to myself, so I'm not looking. It's nice, but it sucks at the same time.


    Hey, don't give up!! I don't...and I am more than twice your age.If I can hang in there and hope...so can you!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2011 3:22 AM GMT
    I don't think I'm too picky. I just don't meet a lot of gay guys in my daily activities. It's very possible that I'm too bat-crap crazy, but that's a completely different topic. icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 19, 2011 3:22 AM GMT
    I'm a self-confessed addict to the greater-than-average muscle mass (think along the lines of a weightlifter/bodybuilder/rugby player), but I guess my extreme preferences balances itself out with my "I-don't-care-about-his-face-or-race" attitude. Also, I'm a very patient man and have years ahead for me to wait for, so I'm not at all worried of being single anytime soon. icon_cool.gif

    As for non-physical attributes, I guess I'm not being picky as every other decent guy out there if I were to say I'm only looking for a man with a self-respecting, laid-back and kind personality.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Sep 19, 2011 3:23 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidI require my hookups and dates to have a six-pack, a BMI of 2%, a circumcised penis 10 inches or longer, be a professional musician, have 23 inch biceps, be 6'8", pecs that could eat something, legs thicker than my entire torso, have a beard thicker than my own head of hair, more than 100 million dollars to their name, and be able to run a 4 minute mile. If you can't do that then it's a no go.


    Oh crap! I'm out of the running then.....I have only 95 million to my name....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2011 3:27 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidI require my hookups and dates to have a BMI of 2% . . . be 6'8'' . . .


    May I just ask out of curiosity what exactly is a "BMI of 2%"? And if such a thing exists, can a person of such a height you've just stated in your *ehem* unreasonable preferences can even maintain a healthy weight zone? icon_confused.gif
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Sep 19, 2011 3:32 AM GMT
    ArtsyRunner said
    Trollileo saidI require my hookups and dates to have a BMI of 2% . . . be 6'8'' . . .


    May I just ask out of curiosity what exactly is a "BMI of 2%"? And if such a thing exists, can a person of such a height you've just stated in your *ehem* unreasonable preferences can even maintain a healthy weight zone? icon_confused.gif


    ArtsyRunner, he is being the creative and very funny person he is!!
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    Sep 19, 2011 3:39 AM GMT
    turtleneckjock said
    ArtsyRunner said
    Trollileo saidI require my hookups and dates to have a BMI of 2% . . . be 6'8'' . . .


    May I just ask out of curiosity what exactly is a "BMI of 2%"? And if such a thing exists, can a person of such a height you've just stated in your *ehem* unreasonable preferences can even maintain a healthy weight zone? icon_confused.gif


    ArtsyRunner, he is being the creative and very funny person he is!!


    *phew* For a sec there, I thought that not having a BMI of 2% is an unhealthy thing to be . . . but I guess creativity is another plus on my "desirable traits" list as well - kudos to you, Trollileo icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
    are you sure you didnt just burrow right inside my head and put down everything i was thinking onto this site? i literally feel the exact same way...and sorry to say i can't help, but i do know how it feels. It sucks.
  • wpc56

    Posts: 45

    Sep 19, 2011 4:53 AM GMT
    There's picky and there's unrealistic.

    To OP, if it is your first time, you want to be choose what feels right for you. You'll remember your first relationship/sex forever.

    However, being picky because you can is just stupid.

    No one is perfect, you learn how to be a better bf/top/bottom by practice. Say you find Mr. Right/good enough in a few years and all these time you were too picky to be in a relationship.

    Guess what, you don't want to be making some newbie mistakes with Mr. Right because there's no do over. When there's enough bad history, that's it.

    Also you guys are in the prime of your life, in your 20s, go and have fun (safely) and experience (relationship)... its not the right time to settle down yet when you're still figuring out who you are and building your career.

    If you meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with? Great.

    If you meet some asshole that hurt you, learning experience for both people. You learn what you can and can not put up with in the future.

    Of course if you're picky enough, you may be forced to settle with not enough relationship experience and that's just sad.
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    Sep 19, 2011 5:16 AM GMT
    Defenseon saidI'm not really picky. On the flip side of this though I think it's really annoying when other people comment on the people you date or hookup and say "you can do better" or "ew are you really with that"


    Everyone has different opinions on what they find attractive. So next time your friend is dating someone you think is not the standard hold your tongue, it's quite rude.


    Yes, this is very annoying and catty. I have a friend who will say this to me all the time and it irritates me a lot. Some people don't understand that when you're attracted to someone, it doesn't always have to be just the physical aspect.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidI require my hookups and dates to have a six-pack, a BMI of 2%, a circumcised penis 10 inches or longer, be a professional musician, have 23 inch biceps, be 6'8", pecs that could eat something, legs thicker than my entire torso, have a beard thicker than my own head of hair, more than 100 million dollars to their name, and be able to run a 4 minute mile. If you can't do that then it's a no go.
    So that's why you think I'm hot.