VANITY AND HOMOSEXUALITY

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    Sep 16, 2011 8:31 PM GMT
    When it comes to vanity,many people including the ones from Heterosexual world think that we Gay guys/Homosexuals put to much time and effort trying to be as good looking as possible. Being in a top shape,well dressed and well groomed for sure gets attention,but does all of that put us Gay Guys in the category of being VAIN??
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    Sep 16, 2011 8:35 PM GMT
    I don't think it springs from vanity, in and of itself.

    It comes from two places, in my opinion.

    1. Many gay and bis felt understandably insecure, unlovable, unattractive, misunderstood, and/or rejected during their childhood development. As a result, when we are adults we go above and beyond to look better, feel better, be better, be ultra-attractive.

    And more importantly...

    2. Biologically, guys form attraction attachments on physical and visual traits. Guys who are competing for male attention therefore will try to look more visually appealing than guys who are competing for female attention.

    Vanity comes into play once a guy reaches a certain level of physical attractiveness and becomes aware of it and desperate to maintain it.
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    Sep 16, 2011 8:36 PM GMT
    A wise forum-goer (on another message board) once told me, "The denial of one's own vanity is vain in and of itself."
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    Sep 16, 2011 8:46 PM GMT
    wildtype87 said"The denial of one's own vanity is vain in and of itself."


    ...wtf no it's not icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 16, 2011 9:16 PM GMT
    I'm vain and I fuckin own it!
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    Sep 16, 2011 9:35 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    wildtype87 said"The denial of one's own vanity is vain in and of itself."


    ...wtf no it's not icon_confused.gif


    I guess I should have provided some context for that quote. I frequent other fitness forums where physique isn't as emphasized nearly as much as it is here on RJ. There was a post by a guy who trains to get physically fit (not necessarily physically beautiful) where he was going through some inner turmoil. He was happy with his fitness (the guy could outlift and run in circles around the other guys at his CrossFit gym), but his physique wasn't exactly as eye-catching as they are here at RJ. For him, working out to look good was a sin, and he didn't wanna be "one of THOSE guys", yet he was unhappy with how his physique looked. A few posts down the road, and some chick wrote that quote above.


    van·i·tyNoun/ˈvanətē/
    1. Excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements.

    I think what she was getting at was this...

    Anyone who has ever been proud of the way they look or what they've accomplished has technically been vain (since "excessive" can be subjective). To deny that you don't take a certain amount pride in how you look or what you accomplish is putting excessive pride in your character - you ability to NOT be "one of THOSE" shallow guys.
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    Sep 16, 2011 11:16 PM GMT
    I think the opposite is true. Isn't the more vain person the one who thinks he looks so good he doesn't need to do anything to improve himself?
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    Sep 17, 2011 12:08 AM GMT
    we're so shallow, we care so much about looks.

    then we don't get fucked by the ones who look good.

    then we become vain to become good-looking so that the lookers lookit us.


    Why are we so shallow?
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    Sep 17, 2011 12:10 AM GMT
    it's all vanity.. it says so in the Book.

    so why not giving in.
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    Sep 17, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    No. I see plenty of gay men especially in the Midwest that do not take care of their appearance.


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    Sep 17, 2011 1:30 AM GMT
    I like the way "vain" is used. It seems to contradict the meaning of the word: something that has no purpose, something that leads to no advantage, no gain, which is exactly the opposite of what looking good gives you. If looking good gives you so many advantages, why is it "in vain"?

    And why, for goodness sake, is it shallow? There seems to be an unresolved collective guilt / resentment here whenever the topic comes up. Attraction is not a debt. The shallowest thing of all is to blame someone for not finding you attractive.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Sep 17, 2011 1:37 AM GMT
    Hypnotico saidI'm vain and I fuckin own it!



    Why?
  • Neurons

    Posts: 537

    Sep 17, 2011 1:38 AM GMT
    Vanity! It's so good to be!

    Popular and glamorous, we love ourselves and no one else!

    -Lady Gaga, Vanity
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    Sep 17, 2011 1:39 AM GMT
    youandmetobe saidWhen it comes to vanity,many people including the ones from Heterosexual world think that we Gay guys/Homosexuals put to much time and effort trying to be as good looking as possible. Being in a top shape,well dressed and well groomed for sure gets attention,but does all of that put us Gay Guys in the category of being VAIN??
    No, it puts us in a much higher category than that. The ones calling vain are just hatin'. icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 17, 2011 1:41 AM GMT
    You're asking RealJock?
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    Sep 17, 2011 4:41 AM GMT
    As long as it makes us better than everybody else, what difference does it make?!?!
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    Sep 17, 2011 4:48 AM GMT
    wildtype87 said
    Ariodante said
    wildtype87 said"The denial of one's own vanity is vain in and of itself."


    ...wtf no it's not icon_confused.gif


    I guess I should have provided some context for that quote. I frequent other fitness forums where physique isn't as emphasized nearly as much as it is here on RJ. There was a post by a guy who trains to get physically fit (not necessarily physically beautiful) where he was going through some inner turmoil. He was happy with his fitness (the guy could outlift and run in circles around the other guys at his CrossFit gym), but his physique wasn't exactly as eye-catching as they are here at RJ. For him, working out to look good was a sin, and he didn't wanna be "one of THOSE guys", yet he was unhappy with how his physique looked. A few posts down the road, and some chick wrote that quote above.


    van·i·tyNoun/ˈvanətē/
    1. Excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements.

    I think what she was getting at was this...

    Anyone who has ever been proud of the way they look or what they've accomplished has technically been vain (since "excessive" can be subjective). To deny that you don't take a certain amount pride in how you look or what you accomplish is putting excessive pride in your character - you ability to NOT be "one of THOSE" shallow guys.


    That certainly is an interesting perspective.
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    Sep 17, 2011 4:52 AM GMT
    You call it "vanity". I call it "self-consciousness". icon_neutral.gif
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    Sep 17, 2011 4:58 AM GMT
    self-consciousness is the neutral part of the spectrum between vanity and self-loathing. Self-consciousness doesn't seem like a bad thing next to those two.
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    Sep 17, 2011 7:52 AM GMT
    I've never understood that 'you're so vain' song.

    She sings 'you're so vain, you probably think this song is about you...'

    But the thing is, the song IS about that guy, so if he thought that, he'd be right. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 17, 2011 8:19 AM GMT
    vanity is the triumph of hope over reality . . .
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    Sep 17, 2011 8:28 AM GMT
    Men need visual stimulation feel attracted to someone. So men that want attention from other men need to work to look good. If you want to catch the eye of another guy, hit the gym, take care of your skin and hair, and dress well. It's ok if you don't have anything to say (or worth saying) as long as you look good.
    Women are more attracted to the emotional bond, so men that want women to be attracted to them don't need to work that hard to look good. A guy only has to take enough care of himself so that he's isn't completely embarrassing to his woman. Dad jeans and a beer gut are acceptable as long as you make your woman feel protected.
    Women that want the attention from other women hardly need to work on their looks at all. Flannel and mullets are ok, as long as they show their emotional commitment by going to a poetry slam or building a deck.

    Did I cover all the stereotypes?
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    Sep 17, 2011 9:51 AM GMT
    noren saidvanity is the triumph of hope over reality . . .
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 17, 2011 12:26 PM GMT
    Vanity and Homosexuality

    Have a synonymous ring to them don't they?
    Yes gay men are vain ... even more vain than our str8 male counterparts
    but if you look at it objectively if you can it kinda makes perfect sense

    .... we are the pursuer and the pursued
    Double set of eyes looking out after one another
    of course we are going to strive to Look the best ... be the sexiest.... the best dressed .... be at the right places and own the best and latest anything

    We're Da-Bomb icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 17, 2011 12:33 PM GMT
    Ermine saidMen need visual stimulation feel attracted to someone. So men that want attention from other men need to work to look good. If you want to catch the eye of another guy, hit the gym, take care of your skin and hair, and dress well.


    That was my original point, see, somebody gets it.

    It may be vanity, but it has biological roots.