Why I Cum So Late?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 11, 2007 1:56 PM GMT
    i just have cumming problems :( i cum soooooo late...the last sex i had the guy couldnt make me cum :( what should i DO?? PLEASE HELP
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Jul 11, 2007 3:23 PM GMT
    That no suppose to be a problem. Problem when you have "early withdrwal" . It really annoying when making love , end in less that 20 minute.
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    Jul 11, 2007 3:26 PM GMT
    Well there could be a number of reasons for that:

    * Maybe your partner doesn't know how to stimulate you the way you like/need to be (perhaps some subtle -- or not-so -- hints are in order).

    * Maybe your partner didn't care about YOUR orgasm & was soley in it for his own needs.

    * Maybe you were nervous and/or had something else on your mind for some reason & could not relax enough to enjoy the experience.

    * Maybe you really weren't that attracted to your partner at some level (ie. you were only in it for the sex -- not a bad reason, but in this case maybe not enough) and therefore you couldn't get turned on enough to want to have an orgasm.

    You haven't said how often this has happened before. If it's a one-off/infrequent incident, try not to worry about it. It happens to ALL guys. Contrary to how society and porn stereotypes us, we're not all sex machine ready to squirt at the first gentle breeze that brushes us. I would only be concerned if this happened on a steady basis, at which point I would consult a doctor.

    Unfortunately, many young guys -- and some older ones too -- see an orgasm as the ONLY goal in having sex. Sometimes it's just about enjoying the person you're with, and ejaculation is secondary. Besides, there are many guys who would welcome a guy who doesn't cum the first time they have sex in a night -- there is something to be said for endurance :-)
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    Jul 11, 2007 4:20 PM GMT
    Alcohol and other medication can delay ejaculation. A few drinks may relax you but, for some, too much.

    Could also be performance anxiety. Maybe you worry about it and not ejaculating is a self-fulling wish.

    Does it happen when you masturbate?
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2605

    Jul 12, 2007 2:35 AM GMT
    Agree with gem01,alcohol can give you problems in that department.It has me in the past...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2007 11:29 AM GMT
    Start at 5:30?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2007 10:41 AM GMT
    umm im not Sad that i didnt cum but my partner felt a little bad that he couldnt make me cum :P It happened sometimes and i hated it :D
    i didnt drink any alocohol and i wasnt nervous i was just a little tired :D
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    Jul 13, 2007 1:35 PM GMT
    When you are unable to cum, are you always tired as well? If so, then you have your correlation. As such, you can either (a) avoid sex when you're tired or (b) enjoy your naked-time with your partner and not cum (however if he is staying overnight, you can always tell him that he's welcome to try in the morning once you're rested). As I said before, sex can still be fun even if you don't cum each & every time. If nothing else, it means that you learn to become a better lover by being able to focus on someone else's needs and not just your own.

    Being tired & unable to cum isn't that uncommon. More interestingly, it is often the OTHER PERSON who gets more upset by this than the person who can't cum. They seem to take as some affront to their masculinity and/or sexual attractiveness and/or sexual prowess that they couldn't do it for their partner. They shouldn't.

    Both parties involved should just relax and enjoy the ride (no pun intended).
  • Vordhosbn

    Posts: 38

    Jul 13, 2007 7:27 PM GMT
    Are you on anti-depressants? That'll surely cause the problem. When you do cum, is the orgasm strong or weak?

    Maybe you have a weak libido caused by low testosterone. Go to your doctor and have some blood work done.
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    Jul 13, 2007 7:42 PM GMT
    thankx for help y'all :)
    ill see a doctor
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 14, 2007 10:48 AM GMT
    well, I sort of got the same problem as you, sometimes it takes quite a while for me to cum during sex but I can cum quite fast when jerking off.
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    Jul 18, 2007 2:23 AM GMT
    I've tend to be a late cummer too, and this can be anxiety-ridden when your partner has cum and you're trying to make it happen. I find that if I put too much pressure on myself I make it worse.

    You may also find that you need certain stimulation to come. Some guys can only cum by their own hand, having their nipples pinched, bottoming, etc. Sounds like you need to watch yourself and find out what works for you. Also telling your partner that your a late cummer can take some of the pressure off.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 29, 2007 1:20 PM GMT
    Okay...here's the skinny on cumming and sex
    there can be a few things going on here

    first...of course if you're really into it cumming or having an orgasm isn't usually a problem
    meds - drugs - alcohol all will have an effect
    so will stress and the amt of sleep you've been having
    ...but cumming relies on a different set of neural pathways than does sexual excitement and having and maintaining an erection
    the excitatory pathway is more sympathetic and the body has to switch to the parasympathetic pathway to let you cum
    ...in order for this to happen you need to be calm and without any distractions or this change won't occur
    the way to let this happen is forget about cumming...if it happens - kool
    if not ok...maybe next time
    the worst thing would be to obsess about it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2007 6:40 AM GMT
    I rarely cum during sex... before I came out I thought it was because I really wasn't into the chick. But it didn't change once I started doing men.

    My last bf got a little put off by it, but some guys have gone wild for it (they were bottoms).
  • qalbi30

    Posts: 116

    Sep 06, 2007 10:56 AM GMT
    First of all relax;other members have sent you really good advice so read and enjoy.

    There is nothing better than trying to please your partner,when you direct all your energies in pleasing him you will find that all will be well.

    Love and good wishes

    Regards,R.