communicating with BF about how to be a better top

  • newbiebottom

    Posts: 38

    Sep 16, 2011 11:07 PM GMT
    so, i have little experience bottoming, but for the past 8 months my BF and I (both tops) have been bottoming for each other. He seems to have no discomfort. I have quite a bit of pain when he goes deep.

    I know that the best thing to do is communicate with each other about these things. but how, exactly do you do that. i mean, what do you say: "it always hurts when you go deep." i want him to have pleasure, but not sure, it should always be so uncomfortable.

    i am looking for strategies about how to communicate about this sort of stuff.
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    Sep 17, 2011 1:34 AM GMT
    Wow ur name too much details .. love that !
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    Sep 17, 2011 1:35 AM GMT
    If he love's you, he won't want to put you in a lot of pain. First of all, tell him about it. Then get creative... positions, sleeves, angles... anything that lets you both enjoy it. Also, he needs to find your prostate... that will give you pleasure, and that will rush your body with endorphins and the pain will greatly diminish.
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    Sep 17, 2011 1:37 AM GMT
    Matty_WIP saidIf he love's you, he won't want to put you in a lot of pain. First of all, tell him about it. Then get creative... positions, sleeves, angles... anything that lets you both enjoy it. Also, he needs to find your prostate... that will give you pleasure, and that will rush your body with endorphins and the pain will greatly diminish.


    o,o how could he find the prostate ( sorry am not a top ) ?
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    Sep 17, 2011 1:41 AM GMT
    I don't know why I feel like sharing right now, but I will.

    Start off on top. Make him lie on his back and you squat over and basically sit on it. This gives you the most control (and kinda...opens things up a bit more). Work on that for a bit until things don't hurt anymore then you can switch if he wants. If this doesn't help then I can't help you.
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    Sep 17, 2011 4:20 AM GMT
    Bend over on your knees. Tell him to take it slow, no pounding. Go deep, but slow and hold it. Practice makes perfect ;)
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    Sep 17, 2011 4:22 AM GMT
    And once you've got that done, raise your back underneath him, staying on your knees, and have him hold onto your chest from behind. Then you will be good to go. Cheers icon_razz.gif
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Sep 17, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    11337S saidhave u tried olive oil?
    that shit works the best!

    or maybe just get u some wd40
    a-maze!!!!!!!!!


    Olive Oil is pretty expensive lube and you should NOT use an oil based lube with a condom, that is a big no-no as it breaks down the latex and makes it very susceptible to breaking.
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    Sep 17, 2011 4:33 AM GMT
    11337S saidhave u tried olive oil?
    that shit works the best!

    or maybe just get u some wd40
    a-maze!!!!!!!!!



    No no no. Use Gun Oil (silicone based lube.)
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    Sep 17, 2011 4:33 AM GMT
    Cairo_M said
    Matty_WIP saidIf he love's you, he won't want to put you in a lot of pain. First of all, tell him about it. Then get creative... positions, sleeves, angles... anything that lets you both enjoy it. Also, he needs to find your prostate... that will give you pleasure, and that will rush your body with endorphins and the pain will greatly diminish.


    o,o how could he find the prostate ( sorry am not a top ) ?


    The prostate is generally right behind the testicles/penis, inside the anus. If he angles it right, he should grind up against it. Prostate stimulation is kind of the whole point of anal sex. Once you locate it, he can work it good.