Boyfriends Damned little dog!!

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    Sep 17, 2011 2:50 PM GMT
    So, my boyfriend has a little dog. A papillion, to be exact; it's classified as a "continental toy spaniel," despite the fact that it looks like a gremlin. He is a ex-marine, but he loves the damn creature, even though she consistantly chews up our underwear & wakes us up during one of her adorable "night terrors." She does play games though; her favorite is watching me walk into the bathroom at six o clock in the morning to step in her piss... I used to think little dogs were only for starletts, divorced women with too much botox, and hairdressers; I also have heard of little dogs being used to smuggle drugs; all this makes sense. But it's cute! It's okay, he says, "because she's a little dog!"!!!
    We live together and while I admit the overpriced gremlin has slowly,
    s-l-o-w-l-y grown on me, the only thing funnier than watching my tall, pretty well built bf walk said dog down the street during one of it's many poo sessions, is the fact that he works over sixty hours a week as the director of a art gallery & I'm a writer that works from home, so I am blessed, nearly full time, with the care & maintenance of said gremlin. Now, to be clear, I'm no stranger to gay looking animals; to come clean, I have three exotic cats, a blue Siamese and two Persians. The two Persians are fluffy and look like someone bashed them in the face with a meat mallet, and the Siamese is something Stephen King would dream up while on LSD. But my gay little animals crap in a box, make little to no noise, and do not require the interuption of my work so I can take them out on the street... Yes, evidently, the only thing funnier than a handsome, well built ex-marine walking a toy dog, is him getting his amazing boyfriend to take care of the damned creature for him.

    This mornings rant is brought to you by coffee & too little sleep.
    End rant.
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    Sep 17, 2011 2:59 PM GMT
    P.S.. Did I mention the people you meet while walking the little dog? Girls are all "Aww, cute doggie." and I'm like, "you want her?" You do get the occassional flirty guy that's looks you in the eye and tells you what a "cool dog" you have; if I'm ever single again, I may be forced to get one! Then comes the dog people one meets in the Bay Area! "Whats her name? Oh, this is my dog, Lord Schizal, he's a cockareinmer mixed with alien. He's a rescue! Is your dog a rescue? Why isn't she a rescue? There are many dogs that need to be rescued...."
    bah!
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    Sep 17, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    more SLEEP, LESS coffee.....Go to the gym and lift to work off some stress...put down some puppy pee pads for those morning pisses.....icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 17, 2011 5:34 PM GMT
    True, I do need more sleep. And I've dramatically cut back on the coffee. I work out three days a week now, thinking I need to add in yoga three times a week again. Still getting reaclimated to California.. Trouble is, though I'm a animal lover, I've become a "cat person," and having a dog I'd like having a kid. Cats are more like roommates
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    Sep 17, 2011 11:03 PM GMT
    Thats why i like CATS.. They dont pee all over the place. If your going to have a dog that small, might as well get a cat. there more lovable.
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Sep 17, 2011 11:25 PM GMT
    Your post was very funny.

    What if you lost the dog?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 17, 2011 11:29 PM GMT
    Suggest he buy a beagle next time!

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    Sep 17, 2011 11:32 PM GMT
    Here is one for you .........try looking butch with a 60lb white standard Poodle.
    The are a great dog and very active and you look like a big girl.
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    Sep 17, 2011 11:46 PM GMT
    Bwahahahahahahaha!!!icon_lol.gif This made my entire day! Soooo funny! Sorry it has been happening to you though, but thanks for sharing it with us! I can sympathize because my roommate has a small dog breed (Brussels Griffon) that drives me bonkers! It's 1.5 years old, not well potty trained, barks, licks people CONSTANTLY and jumps up on you non-stop for attention. I feel your pain man, I feel your pain!
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    Sep 17, 2011 11:50 PM GMT
    made my day. thank you and hope you can get the little bugger trained. maybe the gremlin too ;) ha