Do you make yourself beautiful to 'deserve' someone beautiful?

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    Sep 17, 2011 11:36 PM GMT

    Some people say they work out to be healthier. Some say to feel good. Some because they want to look beautiful.

    A new one for me was coming here and seeing guys putting a lot of time and energy into their appearance because, as they would say it makes them worthy of a beautiful partner.

    The way I always felt was that if I worked out, I would get myself the body I felt most right in. Not muscular or the most popular type, but the body I think fits my sense of self. And then I would try to find a guy who liked that body and the self that matched it. The concept of making yourself worthy of someone else or deserving of someone seems like starting from the end and working your way back to the beginning, backwards to me.

    Please share your thoughts.
  • Vaughn

    Posts: 1880

    Sep 17, 2011 11:53 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch said
    Some people say they work out to be healthier. Some say to feel good. Some because they want to look beautiful.

    A new one for me was coming here and seeing guys putting a lot of time and energy into their appearance because, as they would say it makes them worthy of a beautiful partner.

    The way I always felt was that if I worked out, I would get myself the body I felt most right in. Not muscular or the most popular type, but the body I think fits my sense of self. And then I would try to find a guy who liked that body and the self that matched it. The concept of making yourself worthy of someone else or deserving of someone seems like starting from the end and working your way back to the beginning, backwards to me.

    Please share your thoughts.


    A combination or reasons, also including membership survival in a male social heirchy. The largest male is often the most respected.
  • Syphon

    Posts: 366

    Sep 17, 2011 11:56 PM GMT
    Not a matter of 'worthy', but it is easier to get a date with a good looking guy when you're good looking yourself.
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    Sep 17, 2011 11:56 PM GMT
    Gay men know that in order to have the hope of love with another guy, they have to be in the best shape possible as gay guys rarely see past the physical. However, that kind of "love" is superficial and only lasts as long as the next hotter guy comes along or as long as you don't age or gain a few pounds. So, basically, true love in the gay world is as rare as a gay bar in Khartoum, Sudan. Best bet for true love is to be straight since women aren't as hung up on physical perfection. Or, better yet, a lesbian.
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    Sep 17, 2011 11:58 PM GMT
    I love playing sports, so I work out to keep in shape and kick other people's asses.

    And yes to all of the above. Health, comfort, self-esteem, and vanity.
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    Sep 17, 2011 11:59 PM GMT
    Well honestly i am working out to look good .. cuz what i have leaned from the gay society .. be looking good or get FUCKED in the face lol

    So i would say both .. healthier and being more beautiful
  • mv03

    Posts: 201

    Sep 18, 2011 12:02 AM GMT
    Yes...Because most guys, at least in Chicago is dicks, lol. Have you ever heard of the psychological argument of women dating someone that is + or - 2 deviations what they rate themselves as, and men only date what they rank themselves at or higher. Where it gets muddy is trying to average the number based on social status, personality, look, money, and a myriad of other factors as well. It is backwards, yes, but it's also natural. My looks rate me a certain level, but I think I deserve higher than what I look like due to my personality, hence why my friends think the guys I go for are out of my league, but at the same time, most guys I go for end up being pretty, and treating me like crap. However, my priorities have changed significantly recently. Again, all this is one man's opinion. icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 18, 2011 12:04 AM GMT
    Cairo_M saidWell honestly i am working out to look good .. cuz what i have leaned from the gay society .. be looking good or and you'll get FUCKED in the face lol



    fix'd
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    Sep 18, 2011 12:08 AM GMT
    Cairo_M saidWell honestly i am working out to look good .. cuz what i have leaned from the gay society .. be looking good or get FUCKED in the face lol

    So i would say both .. healthier and being more beautiful


    lol, I think some guys like getting 'fucked' in the face?
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    Sep 18, 2011 12:20 AM GMT
    I don't make myself beautiful to deserve someone beautiful, I've always had a healthy self-esteem and all the guys I've been attracted to have also found me attractive so I don't feel like I need to change anything to be "worthy' of someone. Having said that, my appearance is one of my priorities, not the top priority though.
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    Sep 18, 2011 12:22 AM GMT
    ZbmwM5 said
    Cairo_M saidWell honestly i am working out to look good .. cuz what i have leaned from the gay society .. be looking good or get FUCKED in the face lol

    So i would say both .. healthier and being more beautiful


    lol, I think some guys like getting 'fucked' in the face?


    everyday LOL
  • Puma84

    Posts: 12

    Sep 18, 2011 12:28 AM GMT
    I work out to feel better about myself. With that added confidence it is naturally easier to attract a higher caliber of partner. The effect of the work out, however, is not the same as the cause.
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    Sep 18, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    Thanks for your first post in my thread. Welcome to RealJock.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Sep 18, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    Yep. I work out to have a sexy body and I even pluck my eyebrows. How gay is that!
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    Sep 18, 2011 12:30 AM GMT
    Thanks for you 1500th post in my thread!
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    miamimasseur saidGay men know that in order to have the hope of love with another guy, they have to be in the best shape possible as gay guys rarely see past the physical. However, that kind of "love" is superficial and only lasts as long as the next hotter guy comes along or as long as you don't age or gain a few pounds. So, basically, true love in the gay world is as rare as a gay bar in Khartoum, Sudan. Best bet for true love is to be straight since women aren't as hung up on physical perfection. Or, better yet, a lesbian.


    Where do you come up with this stuff?

    icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:27 AM GMT
    I draw a distinction between beauty & attractiveness.
    Attractiveness is a physical attribute. To me, "Beauty" is the whole package.
    I work my body and take care of myself to keep/add to my attractiveness, for myself. But if you are a ugly person inside, then abs of marble might get you laid, they might even get you a brief relationship, but any person worth sand on the beach will grow tired of you. Yeah, men as as a species are visual; they are not totally hollow, but the guy who is vapid as shit has a sell by date. If all we are doing is by taking care of ourselves as a form of "upkeep" to score a perspective partner, then we might as well say fuck it and grab a bottle of Johnny Walker Black & a tub of Ben & Jerrys.
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:29 AM GMT
    Ultraviolet13 saidI draw a distinction between beauty & attractiveness.
    Attractiveness is a physical attribute. To me, "Beauty" is the whole package.
    I work my body and take care of myself to keep/add to my attractiveness, for myself. But if you are a ugly person inside, then abs of marble might get you laid, they might even get you a brief relationship, but any person worth sand on the beach will grow tired of you. Yeah, men as as a species are visual; they are not totally hollow, but the guy who is vapid as shit has a sell by date. If all we are doing is by taking care of ourselves as a form of "upkeep" to score a perspective partner, then we might as well say fuck it and grab a bottle of Johnny Walker Black & a tub of Ben & Jerrys.


    This Johnny Walker / Ben & Jerry diet sounds promising...
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:32 AM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidDo you make yourself beautiful to 'deserve' someone beautiful?
    No, I make myself beautiful to prevent paying for someone beautiful.
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:38 AM GMT
    I called myself a fag today at work. This one dude didn't get the hint (a couple other coworkers were fucking with the new dude - all of us flirting with him) and I finally said "dude, I'm a fag. Didn't you know? I mean like, it's fucking obvious bro." icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    I'm one of those guys who looks like Hell first thing in the morning. I can't get one eye open, I've got tons of sleep in each eye; I need a shave, I need a shower, heck even fumigation practically. I have grunge in my mouth like something crawled through it. I slouch, I stumble to the bathroom. I mutter, I curse the alarm clock. I spill OJ on my chest slurping it down - right out of the container. I'm a real slob.

    Then - - after my shower, where I'm all scrubbed, shaved, flossed, brushed, deodorized, moisturized, hair gelled and messed up just so, then - and only then - with products and my morning routine - I finally look good enough to face the world. I feel like I own the world almost when I walk out my door - - but God, before my shower - I'm a slug.
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:41 AM GMT
    mv03 saidYes...Because most guys, at least in Chicago is dicks, lol. Have you ever heard of the psychological argument of women dating someone that is + or - 2 deviations what they rate themselves as, and men only date what they rank themselves at or higher. Where it gets muddy is trying to average the number based on social status, personality, look, money, and a myriad of other factors as well. It is backwards, yes, but it's also natural. My looks rate me a certain level, but I think I deserve higher than what I look like due to my personality, hence why my friends think the guys I go for are out of my league, but at the same time, most guys I go for end up being pretty, and treating me like crap. However, my priorities have changed significantly recently. Again, all this is one man's opinion. icon_eek.gif


    Oh pumkin. We need to get coffee.
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    Sep 18, 2011 2:44 AM GMT
    Cash said
    Ultraviolet13 saidI draw a distinction between beauty & attractiveness.
    Attractiveness is a physical attribute. To me, "Beauty" is the whole package.
    I work my body and take care of myself to keep/add to my attractiveness, for myself. But if you are a ugly person inside, then abs of marble might get you laid, they might even get you a brief relationship, but any person worth sand on the beach will grow tired of you. Yeah, men as as a species are visual; they are not totally hollow, but the guy who is vapid as shit has a sell by date. If all we are doing is by taking care of ourselves as a form of "upkeep" to score a perspective partner, then we might as well say fuck it and grab a bottle of Johnny Walker Black & a tub of Ben & Jerrys.


    This Johnny Walker / Ben & Jerry diet sounds promising...


    Bless your heart! I'm having Johnny on my balcony as I type, but it's like my cheat/desert. Ben & Jerry are blurry to me; I recall a hot & heavy relationship with them in college, but that was when I was smoking a lot of weed and getting my track star roommate stoned enough to let go of his catholic upbringing so he'd play seven minutesin heaven with me, even though we were the only ones in the room.. Good times!
    It was an art school in NYC; it was time for him to experiment!
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 18, 2011 2:45 AM GMT
    It would take more than gym time for me to ever be considered beautiful. I'm fine with that.