Being friends with trans women...and how to break it off?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2011 5:18 AM GMT
    I recently met a girl who's trans. So I guess I have a new friend LOL. But I don't know if I want to continue hanging with her (we hung out 3 times now).

    See, my thing about trannys (general term they use for each other) is...not all, but most seem to be drama queens! And I don't want to associate myself around drama queens all the time.

    For example, I went to the mall with this girl. During the whole time we shopped, she was on the phone being loud about some ridiculous nonsense with I don't even know who's other drama. After awhile it got tiresome and I just wanted to go home!

    She also goes out literally EVERY SINGLE NIGHT the club is open. I only like to go out once or twice every 2 weeks. Not every frigging day LOL. But she's been tempting me into doing that by texting me about she's going. At the same time, she's a seemingly good friend and she seems to have integrity. And already she's given me insight. But most trans I've met have always had this drama llama personality. And I can't have that surrounding me.

    Some people feel I'm about drama, but I never bring that into public places. Online, yes. But not in the store over the phone LOL. And if drama rings my phone, I have to call you back later AFTER I'm done hanging with my BF or friends. They don't need to hear about my drama, if any. It's embarrassing.

    I want to have her as an occasional friend, but every time I go out I run into her. But she's the type of woman I need to keep a distance from and hangout with every FEW weeks or so LOL. How would you go about this whole thing?
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    Sep 19, 2011 5:39 AM GMT
    I would think that the best way to handle the situation would be to treat her as if she were any person that you might consider hanging out with. Like if she was not a "tranny" but a woman that was born a woman and acted that way would you want to hang out with her? If it were a man acting that way?

    My guess (looking at your profile pic) is that she is probably attracted to you on some level which might make things a bit more delicate if you did decide to hang out less. But if you are honest and kind I am sure you could work out some friendship level that would work for both.

    Heh my phone autocorrected tranny to granny!
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    Sep 19, 2011 5:48 AM GMT
    I'm kinda like you. I hate drama., I feel my life is complicated enough to add more baggage to it. Friendship is about honestly so be calm and honest with her and just tell her you're not the party type and you can't go out because you have far more important interest that take up your time than to waste every single night in a club.

    Now, about being loud in public, just tell her in the same friendly way to keep it down. She's clearly embarrassing herself and bringing you down with her. If she appreciates and care for you and your friendship she'll understand your position and will eventually change her ways.

    It seems you're a bit afraid of hurting her feelings or having her go "medieval" on you. If she take it the wrong way cut the emotional umbilical cord and move on. Only then she will realize her wrongdoing and might change for the better. If she doesn't, she's not the only tranny in the world you can be friends with, right?
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    Sep 19, 2011 5:51 AM GMT
    Utah Represent! LOL...

    Well she told me she's not into my types (she's also Blk)....and she already knows I'm dating an older Wht guy LOL. So hopefully attraction shouldn't be in the cards.

    I would not hang out with any guy that acted that way. Women and trans can get away with it some sorts.

    Matter of fact, that's why I don't want to hang out too often. I got involved with drama kings/queens last year and it nearly ruined my future. So every time I get around someone like that I just wanna run.

    It's also exhausting when we go to public places besides nightclubs, every guy who gives a weird 'raised brow' stare turns into an ordeal. Most everytime we walked past a group of guys, I watched them as they STAAAAAAAAAAAAAARED right at her. Guys know right away...
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    Sep 20, 2011 9:45 AM GMT
    That's right UT in da house!

    Ok that sounded lame as hell....Just ignore that.

    Well it seems like you have a pretty good handle on the situation. Maybe just cut hanging out at the mall together and you probably will be fine.

    For some reason this question kind of has been floating around in my mind a little bit, and I also thought maybe she acts this way partially out of some insecurity.

    I remember when I was a senior in high school growing up in rural Mormon UT, I basically had realized that I was gay. I always dressed totally different than my peers, and tried to assert my individuality by outward appearance which kind of made me feel better about being different somehow. Maybe there is some element of that in her behavior.