RiverRising saidWhat apps/sites does this hypothetical guy use? They are not all hook-up sites. And so what if he is on a hook-up site? Being on a site like A4A or Manhunt doesn't mean that he's fucking around on you.
First, I want to clarify that my boyfriend is not using all of those sites -- he had been using Grindr + Scruff but agreed to stop using them. And we both agreed that both of us would not use dudesnude, manhunt, bigmuscle and adam4adam.
He said he was using grindr + Scruff just to chat, not looking to hookup. Nothing wrong with just chatting with people, but those apps just have this "vibe" and reputation of "hookup material" and I don't feel comfortable with it in a monogamous relationship.
Some people might say "Well, if you trust him not to cheat on you, then you should be able to trust him using Scruff + Grindr, trusting that he's only talking to friends and not sexually chatting up people and cheating." Then I ask, where do you draw the line -- by the same logic, one could argue that he should have free reign to go on ANY site (Manhunt, a4a, etc.) and that if I trust him not to cheat it shouldn't be an issue.
I've also had a couple of friends say they've met good friends from Scruff and Grindr. But the overwhelming response I've gotten so far is that if you're in a monogamous relationship (not an open relationship), that most people have said they think Scruff, Grindr, etc. really shouldn't be used, that there's no need for it.