My Dad died a year ago today

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    Sep 20, 2011 5:07 PM GMT
    Just realized that it was a year ago today that my Dad died suddenly.

    We weren't close and I had issues and it took me about 9 months to deal with it.

    But some good came out of it because it woke me up to the fact that life is short and you have to be authentic and I had to stop and realize that for years I hid from myself who I really was and what I really wanted.

    Still hard though.
  • Neurons

    Posts: 537

    Sep 20, 2011 5:13 PM GMT
    Hey man, I'm sorry for your loss. And glad you found some positive stuff out of it.
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    Sep 20, 2011 7:13 PM GMT
    yeah, I lost my dad one year ago May and it does suck. Came out to him just before he passed so I am very glad for that. Out to all the family now and it has been a blessing. sorry for your loss...here to talk if you need.....(lost my mom 11 year before my dad....)
  • BCSwimmer

    Posts: 209

    Sep 20, 2011 7:34 PM GMT
    I'm sorry for loss.

    For you (and any others experiencing "anniversary grief") I found some great thoughts on the strengthforcaring.com website which says:


    strengthforcaring.com

    When Grief Hits All Over Again

    ...Then, wham! The grief seemed to start all over again. Why? What happened? Does this mean you haven’t made the progress you thought you had?

    No. You are experiencing an anniversary reaction. An anniversary reaction is an abbreviated version of your grief that comes as if to remind you that resolving a loss takes longer than any of us would like. The feelings associated with these reactions may have a surprising depth or may be twinges of grief that remind you of your loved one’s absence. Anniversary reactions offer you an opportunity to resolve more of the loss. So they should be welcomed, rather than avoided.


    Yesterday was the wedding anniversary of my late husband and I (he passed away 14 months ago from a brain tumour) so I empathize with your situation.

    Blessings to you.
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    Sep 20, 2011 7:37 PM GMT
    Thanks, man.
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    Sep 21, 2011 3:12 AM GMT
    I lost my father in August of this year to pancreatic cancer. He wasn't even diagnosed with the cancer until July of this year and then within weeks, he passed away.

    As Canadaguy48 said, life is short. We only get to live once...and time ain't slowing down for nobody. I try to live my life as honestly as possible. So I came out to my parents when I was 19. They didn't disown me but they also couldn't come to terms with it. One of my greatest regrets is my Dad never got to meet my partner of 9 years. It's like a big part of my life that my Dad never cared to find out about and that hurt me immensely. I will have to carry this regret with me forever. That said, I still loved my Dad and I do miss him.
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    Sep 21, 2011 3:22 AM GMT
    Runnerjoe saidI lost my father in August of this year to pancreatic cancer. He wasn't even diagnosed with the cancer until July of this year and then within weeks, he passed away.

    As Canadaguy48 said, life is short. We only get to live once...and time ain't slowing down for nobody. I try to live my life as honestly as possible. So I came out to my parents when I was 19. They didn't disown me but they also couldn't come to terms with it. One of my greatest regrets is my Dad never got to meet my partner of 9 years. It's like a big part of my life that my Dad never cared to find out about and that hurt me immensely. I will have to carry this regret with me forever. That said, I still loved my Dad and I do miss him.



    Thats the thing about life. Your dad may have thought that he had all of the time in the world to come to grips with it before you lost him. It's do unfortunate that he never got to share in your relationship.
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    Sep 24, 2011 3:15 PM GMT
    Ravco said

    Thats the thing about life. Your dad may have thought that he had all of the time in the world to come to grips with it before you lost him. It's do unfortunate that he never got to share in your relationship.


    Indeed. Every time I wanted to introduce my partner to my parents, they would just say they're not ready.
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    Sep 24, 2011 4:29 PM GMT
    canadaguy48_vic saidJust realized that it was a year ago today that my Dad died suddenly.

    We weren't close and I had issues and it took me about 9 months to deal with it.

    But some good came out of it because it woke me up to the fact that life is short and you have to be authentic and I had to stop and realize that for years I hid from myself who I really was and what I really wanted.

    Still hard though.


    My sympathies. I go through the same thing when I think about my dad. I still miss him, but think about the few good times we had together fondly.
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    Sep 24, 2011 4:56 PM GMT
    I'm sorry man. I I don't think it's ever easy to lose one of your parents. I lost my mom at the end of this March, after taking care of her for the last year of her illness..You are so totally right about life being too short!