How To Flirt / Ask Out Guy In Corporate Environment?

  • CalmSpirit

    Posts: 24

    Sep 21, 2011 7:44 PM GMT
    How does one approach another guy at work? We do not work on the same team or department, but on the the same floor and bump into each other occasionally. Every time I see this man, he immediately perks up with a smile and stare. A few times he's walked by and I caught him looking back. So I know there is some attraction, however I'm just not sure how to take it beyond this. Any thoughts, ideas? We do work in a corporate environment.
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    Sep 21, 2011 9:26 PM GMT
    How about asking him to join you for a drink after work? Perhaps go with a group. You can head out and relax after work, get to know each other better and see where it heads! If nothing comes of it, not only have you not violated any potential conflicts of interest, you might have gained a new buddy.
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    Sep 21, 2011 9:47 PM GMT
    I refer the OP to the "Rules for Gay Men":

    Rule #7: Whatsoever thou doest at work, thou shalt surely not date thy coworkers, nor shalt thou poop where thou eatest thine food.

    Corollary: Thou mayest shag the FedEx deliveryman and thou mayest fellate the copier repairman, and by all means bend the cute young temp or intern over thine desk so as to butter his boy-hole, these are all good... but thine coworkers are unclean to thee; thou shalt pokest them not in their privy parts, lest thine employment be in danger of fire.
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    Sep 21, 2011 9:51 PM GMT
    alphatrigger saidI refer the OP to the "Rules for Gay Men":

    Rule #7: Whatsoever thou doest at work, thou shalt surely not date thy coworkers, nor shalt thou poop where thou eatest thine food.

    Corollary: Thou mayest shag the FedEx deliveryman and thou mayest fellate the copier repairman, and by all means bend the cute young temp or intern over thine desk so as to butter his boy-hole, these are all good... but thine coworkers are unclean to thee; thou shalt pokest them not in their privy parts, lest thine employment be in danger of fire.


    This isnt just for gay men but people in general. Workplace romances are bad news bears.
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    Sep 21, 2011 10:00 PM GMT
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    Sep 21, 2011 10:05 PM GMT
    I would be cautious. It is generally not a good thing to date someone from work.

    But if you think you have found someone truly compatible, don't risk losing them.

    I would take him to a Saturday brunch or other daytime activity that is squarely outside of the work environment. Get to know him as a friend, discuss the situation, and give it a two or three very informal dates (with no sex.) If there really is a spark, take some time- but I would pursue it.

    **Knowing full well that the appropriate procedure is to tell your boss and supervisors if a relationship starts.**

    If for ANY reason you are afraid of doing that last part, then you should not date someone from work.
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    Sep 21, 2011 10:06 PM GMT
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  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Sep 21, 2011 11:52 PM GMT
    If you work in different departments then I think it is ok to feel things out casually and see what you have in common, etc. A drink after work would be acceptable. Make sure there isn't a policy against dating co-workers.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 22, 2011 12:08 AM GMT
    Date him and get to know him before you sleep with him. Todays fling could be tomorrow's new supervisor.
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    Sep 22, 2011 12:14 AM GMT
    It depends on your workplace. Some are more tolerant than others and "that gay shit."

    PS. Dating a coworker - even if from a different dept - is extremely tricky, and seldom ends well. That does not include hookups between coworkers. Those can be quite entertaining, and fun talk for everyone at work. icon_biggrin.gif
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Sep 22, 2011 12:34 AM GMT
    You may want to drink his bathwater now, but it is wise not to dip your pen into the company ink....
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    Sep 22, 2011 12:48 AM GMT
    Ask him out for a drink after work on a friday or to meet up on saturday. There are too few good gay guys out there to pass one up just because you work together. If he is active, ask him to go running one weekend or something and get to know him.
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    Sep 22, 2011 2:00 AM GMT
    Yeah. I can relate to you. There are so many hot guys where I work...like legitimately hot. There are a couple where I'm sure we have a mutual attraction, but it's irrelevant.

    Don't shit where you eat. And if you do, you have to make sure he's just as rational as you.

    I've never hooked up with anyone from work and I intend to keep it that way.
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    Sep 22, 2011 5:55 AM GMT
    The advice in this thread is funny. You can't just ask someone out when you have never spoken to them before (corporate environment). That would come off as downright creepy, especially for gay dating. Take an indirect approach first. If he has friends in the department, see if those friends are easier to speak with. That way, you might get introduced to him through somebody else. If he's a loner, try approaching him with a question related to work. Expect what his answer would be and extend the discussion accordingly.

    Don't sound dumb or annoying. You should be good at asking questions. See if you get a friendly response and start going a bit off-topic from there. Once you are introduced and have chatted for days, then it may be the good time to ask for drink/lunch. If you want to take a shortcut, bump into him on work lunch break. Haha. Don't spill the beans that you're gay soon after you become friends. Get to know him better and don't rush anything. Who knows, his personality might not be your type at all and then you wouldn't have to take it any further.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Sep 22, 2011 6:00 AM GMT
    don't shit where you eat- ever hear that??????????
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    Sep 23, 2011 2:04 AM GMT
    OMG, I was just thinking about this today. I think humor is the best and harmless way to go about it. Try catch him when he is alone (or in the break room) and drop him one of those dry "What's a dinosaur without a tail?" jokes. Laugh immediately after the joke to maybe elicit a smile from him in response - the joke really doesn't have to be funny. If you do this repeatedly he'll more than likely pick up on the fact you might like him and initiate a meet up after work.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Sep 23, 2011 3:07 AM GMT
    raindrops saidOMG, I was just thinking about this today. I think humor is the best and harmless way to go about it. Try catch him when he is alone (or in the break room) and drop him one of those dry "What's a dinosour without a tail?" jokes. Laugh immediately after the joke to maybe elicit a smile from him in response - the joke really doesn't have to be funny. If you do this repeatedly he'll more than likely pick up on the fact you might like him and initiate a meet up after work.


    The dinowhat?
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    Sep 23, 2011 3:18 AM GMT
    Never dip your pen in the company ink.
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    Sep 23, 2011 3:39 AM GMT
    The irony of the "don't shit where you eat" philosophy is that it is sooooo successful for straight people. There have been a couple studies that assert 40%-60% of people who are bf/gf or marry met at work. Not "through" work, but "at work". I have had to deal with this and counsel others. The risk is that you're going to find "psycho guy". OR worse, you don't realize that YOU are "psycho guy" who can't let things go thinking... "no, I will not allow him to just ignore my texts!" oh boy hahaha. Be careful man!
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    Sep 23, 2011 4:45 AM GMT
    HungGarSig saidHow about asking him to join you for a drink after work? Perhaps go with a group. You can head out and relax after work, get to know each other better and see where it heads! If nothing comes of it, not only have you not violated any potential conflicts of interest, you might have gained a new buddy.



    Getting involved with anybody in the workplace is definitely a NO NO lol BBUUTTT, If you must, I would say this is really the safest route you should take.

    GROUP SETTING. Can't lose.
  • no1timehookup...

    Posts: 208

    Sep 24, 2011 1:15 AM GMT
    Follow him into the bathroom, ask to suck his dick while in there, and then if he goes with it, do more, pull your pants down and bend over. Just make sure you don't get caught.