I love being gay / I hate being gay

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2011 1:32 PM GMT
    Sometimes i feel that its really hard to be gay,
    First of all , relationships are hard with men. EVERYONE just wants to hookup

    Secondly, almost all of gay or bi men that talk to me flip the script on me
    for example.your supposed to be friends and they try to get you drunk and they try to sleep with you or something ( well idk girls do that to ) but i have no gay friends anymore icon_sad.gif
    (maybe i don't pic the right gay friends)

    Thirdly sometimes you get put in a weird situation ... idk if you read my last problem but i slept with two brothers who didnt know they were both gay and i was really really in love with him and well he is pissed the fuck off

    ^^^( Idk maybe because im always in relationships with closeted guys because im not out either )^^^

    Lastly my str8 friends that do know im gay never understand and they always ask ridiculous questions , how do you do this ? how do you do that ? lol

    Sometimes i feel like im just going to be lonely all of my life because nothing ever works out. my

    ..........................................................................................................
    besides all of that i like being gay i meet a lot of different types of people
    i love designing my friends house because she sucks at designing lol

    im like the best kick boxer in my city i won over 60 matches and lost 12



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    Sep 22, 2011 1:45 PM GMT
    I sometimes love it and sometimes hate it - I guess you just have to play the hand you're dealt as best you can because you can't change it!
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    Sep 22, 2011 1:54 PM GMT
    Its no different than being straight. Its called life. Thats how it goes.
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    Sep 22, 2011 2:02 PM GMT
    Don't b a stereotype.

    What does interior design have to do with being gay.
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    Sep 22, 2011 2:19 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 saidIts no different than being straight. Its called life. Thats how it goes.


    +10
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    Sep 22, 2011 2:28 PM GMT
    Hang out with straight people. On average, they're more fun anyway. Plus they'll set you up with all the other gays they know. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 22, 2011 3:37 PM GMT
    This thread is too heavy on the I hate being gay side as too many here on RJ are. It's time to point out the advantages of being gay.

    First let's address the problem of not being able to have a family. Yes children are beautiful and yes I went through the morning period of realizing I won't have a family but I've moved on. Families are a lot of work and no matter how loving you are you don't always have perfectly healthy kids. Many kids these days get DUI's, some get into drugs, some can't hold a job, some become alcoholics, some spend their life battling depression. I've seen enough of this in the loving family in which I was raised to understand that children are not just a bundle of joy.

    Once I realized I would never have a family I looked at the advantages of not having to have one. Let's start with having a high disposable income. The importance of this has nothing to do with buying material items it has everything to do with independence. If you don't like your job you can leave it without considering how many lives are dependent on you. This come in real handy when a job is so bad it is destroying your health.

    Next lets talk about free time. On my last job I traveled around the world. The married guys hated traveling because it was nothing more than airports and business for them. No chance they could tell the wifey I'm going to take a week off and stay in Australia as I did. I use to bookend all my trips with days off so I could spend time seeing the the places I was visiting. You can't do that if a family is waiting at home for you. Having so much free time has allowed me to become fluent in two languages and learn to speak a bit of few others. A hobby like that, requiring so much time and commitment would be hard to maintain if a family were involved. The same goes for sports and fitness. My whitewater buds would often talk about needing a hall pass to run a river. Many wives are reluctant to give their husbands the time away from their choirs they need to pursue their passions or even stay in shape.

    Now lets talk about sex because so may of you hate how slutty gay men are. A healthy man understands he has both hedonistic urges and romantic ones. Even if you never act on the former you can't tell me you don't watch porn and beat off. Women do as well but they are considered a bitch or slut if they act on their hedonistic urges. Most would rather be viewed a sad romantic whore than a cold bitch. So woman get very good at manipulating men with sex. It is part of their survival. Most need to be all romantic and emotional to justify their carnal urges because god forbid they should have any. Men can be so much more straight forward about these urges and I for one like that. Men can still be very romantic. I know how to be more tender and loving than many of the so called hopeless romantics out there. What really bothers me is faux romance, that is telling yourself you are in love when you're really in lust. What's wrong with two hot guys checking each other out and saying I want to see what you look like naked and hard, without making a commitment that neither is ready for? Also many marriages become sexless as do many gay relationships. But lets be real here, it is far less complicated in the gay relationship if you want to go separate ways or even open the relationship up. So most straight men and many women for that matter, commit themselves to celibacy to hold their sexless marriage together.

    As for friendship, yes it is a pain with gay men and much harder to form. But there are straight men and I've found they can be great friends without the complications of sex.

    Now you may say a straight man without kids could enjoy all these benefits but don't underestimate how difficult it is for a straight man to pull this off. A straight married guy once told me he was suspicious I was gay because as he put it, a straight guy with my stature and success would eventually give in to the pressure to get married and have kids. I know for fact that if I were straight I would be married with kids. I would love those kids dearly and no matter how difficult raising them would be I would embrace it and never regret having brought them into this world. I know this, because it is my nature. I'm not straight though I'm gay. So I'm happy to embrace all that not having a family has given me. And I'm happy to have had the opportunity to embrace all those beautiful men from different cultures and races I've met. And I'll never forget the exquisite Aussie I had the honor of dining and spooning all night on my last night in Sydney.

  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Sep 22, 2011 3:51 PM GMT
    not like being gay and not liking your gay life because it's filled with drama that's your own fault are two different things.
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    Sep 22, 2011 4:09 PM GMT
    I agree that dating guys is really difficult, but I don't see it as a matter of love vs. hate.

    It's not that extreme. Life has ups and life has downs. Dating sucks. Boys are stupid. It is what it is.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 22, 2011 4:14 PM GMT
    I suppose if you have friends of all kinds (as do I), you will always encounter personal questions... unless you choose to not be that personal, then you might not encounter some of them.

    As far as the "gay friends and sex" question.... sure I have gay friends that would like to sleep with me, but it's off the table. You can communicate the need to be friends without making it about sex and if they do, then get yourself some new friends. In the end, you have the ability to control much of your life and who impacts it.
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    Sep 22, 2011 4:18 PM GMT
    There are some gay guys out there, few, but there are gay guys who actually are boyfriend/husband material. Or at least they are not into "hit and run" (hookups).
    It's sad, but important is that you stay true to yourself and KNOW what you want.
    Don't go hooking up just coz everyone else is doing it.
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    Sep 22, 2011 4:24 PM GMT
    I can't believe how many people on here post about issues like this believing that it isn't as much as a problem in heterosexual relationships... Have you no straight friends who replay the same broken record of issues we do?
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    Sep 22, 2011 4:40 PM GMT
    SFYogi saidI can't believe how many people on here post about issues like this believing that it isn't as much as a problem in heterosexual relationships... Have you no straight friends who replay the same broken record of issues we do?


    For some reason a lot of people believe everything is unique to being gay. I think a lot of people like playing the victim.
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    Sep 22, 2011 6:14 PM GMT
    friendormate said [Content]



    Ya know, even though what you said were pretty obvious terms, but how you put it into detail and explained it further it kinda clicked with me. Independence, self-investment, and freedom really aren't bad things at all.

    Maybe it was the Australian examples that intrigued me. icon_lol.gif

    I always revolve around the straight single male community and fit in like a duck to water it seems. I guess they marvel at how I can hang with them but but different in the sense that I'm not into girls like they are. It's one of those learning experiences that benefit all parties involved.

    Also, I think it's unfair to judge all gay men to be interested in only sex on the surface. Maybe it's the certain crowd you hang around with (the ones that always go out to clubs and bars).
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    Sep 22, 2011 6:18 PM GMT
    Love being gay. I feel like being the lone gay guy growing up in my small backwoods town made me more of a unique individual, and pushed me to do things I might not would have otherwise done. Like explore the world outside the state lines....smell good...use deodorant religiously...
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    Sep 22, 2011 6:49 PM GMT
    Hey man just stop stressing about it, you are 19. You have got such an amazing life to go live, the friends will grow up but they will still ask a few stupid questions and the guys.......well they are men and sometimes men are pigs. You have to look at a lot of dirt to find a diamond.
    Be the man you want in your life and be the man your mother would be proud of. The rest will happen.
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    Sep 22, 2011 7:11 PM GMT
    Since you say you are not out and neither are the guys you've dated I am assuming you are meeting these guys online. Maybe try meeting guys in the real world. Affirmations, the Detroit area gay community center on 9 mile in Ferndale is just a few minutes away from you. They have a youth group for guys 14-24 which would seem to be perfect for you to meet guys around your age.

    http://www.goaffirmations.org/site/PageServer?pagename=programs_youth
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    Sep 22, 2011 7:35 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 saidIts no different than being straight. Its called life. Thats how it goes.


    WIN!

    Really. No need to get complicated. It is THAT simple.

    In every phase of our lives, we've ALL experienced problems no matter who we are or what they are. Life without problems must mean you're dead.

    So while you're living, do something about it. Change it, seek therapy, roll with the punches, whatever...it's your life. YOU do what you want to do to make yourself happy.
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    Sep 22, 2011 11:02 PM GMT
    TroyAthlete saidI agree that dating guys is really difficult, but I don't see it as a matter of love vs. hate.

    It's not that extreme. Life has ups and life has downs. Dating sucks. Boys are stupid. It is what it is.

    i LOVE IT
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    Sep 22, 2011 11:04 PM GMT
    hawkeye7 saidHey man just stop stressing about it, you are 19. You have got such an amazing life to go live, the friends will grow up but they will still ask a few stupid questions and the guys.......well they are men and sometimes men are pigs. You have to look at a lot of dirt to find a diamond.
    Be the man you want in your life and be the man your mother would be proud of. The rest will happen.
    I LOVE THIS ONE TWO icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 22, 2011 11:06 PM GMT
    no boys are usually smart. Men are stupid and as boys grow into men they turn dumber. Truff.
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    Sep 22, 2011 11:08 PM GMT
    tonylavon734 said
    First of all , relationships are hard with men. EVERYONE just wants to hookup


    Nope- relationships are hard for everyone and have you met a strait guy? They're just looking for a hook up!! Im kidding, but seriously....I have met some gay guys that are legit willing to hold out (to an extent) for someone that they care about on more than a "skin deep" level
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    Sep 22, 2011 11:16 PM GMT
    ConfederateGhost saidLove being gay. I feel like being the lone gay guy growing up in my small backwoods town made me more of a unique individual, and pushed me to do things I might not would have otherwise done. Like explore the world outside the state lines....smell good...use deodorant religiously...


    WIN! I too have come to love being gay. Why? -- Because I learned very important lessons about life and love because of it. I learned that the true love that my parents always preached - really was. I've felt what its like to go from hating yourself to loving yourself completely. Finally, -- life without mad hot butt sex?! Not fo this guy!!! icon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 22, 2011 11:19 PM GMT
    friendormate saidThis thread is too heavy on the I hate being gay side as too many here on RJ are. It's time to point out the advantages of being gay.

    First let's address the problem of not being able to have a family. Yes children are beautiful and yes I went through the morning period of realizing I won't have a family but I've moved on. Families are a lot of work and no matter how loving you are you don't always have perfectly healthy kids. Many kids these days get DUI's, some get into drugs, some can't hold a job, some become alcoholics, some spend their life battling depression. I've seen enough of this in the loving family in which I was raised to understand that children are not just a bundle of joy.

    Once I realized I would never have a family I looked at the advantages of not having to have one. Let's start with having a high disposable income. The importance of this has nothing to do with buying material items it has everything to do with independence. If you don't like your job you can leave it without considering how many lives are dependent on you. This come in real handy when a job is so bad it is destroying your health.

    Next lets talk about free time. On my last job I traveled around the world. The married guys hated traveling because it was nothing more than airports and business for them. No chance they could tell the wifey I'm going to take a week off and stay in Australia as I did. I use to bookend all my trips with days off so I could spend time seeing the the places I was visiting. You can't do that if a family is waiting at home for you. Having so much free time has allowed me to become fluent in two languages and learn to speak a bit of few others. A hobby like that, requiring so much time and commitment would be hard to maintain if a family were involved. The same goes for sports and fitness. My whitewater buds would often talk about needing a hall pass to run a river. Many wives are reluctant to give their husbands the time away from their choirs they need to pursue their passions or even stay in shape.

    Now lets talk about sex because so may of you hate how slutty gay men are. A healthy man understands he has both hedonistic urges and romantic ones. Even if you never act on the former you can't tell me you don't watch porn and beat off. Women do as well but they are considered a bitch or slut if they act on their hedonistic urges. Most would rather be viewed a sad romantic whore than a cold bitch. So woman get very good at manipulating men with sex. It is part of their survival. Most need to be all romantic and emotional to justify their carnal urges because god forbid they should have any. Men can be so much more straight forward about these urges and I for one like that. Men can still be very romantic. I know how to be more tender and loving than many of the so called hopeless romantics out there. What really bothers me is faux romance, that is telling yourself you are in love when you're really in lust. What's wrong with two hot guys checking each other out and saying I want to see what you look like naked and hard, without making a commitment that neither is ready for? Also many marriages become sexless as do many gay relationships. But lets be real here, it is far less complicated in the gay relationship if you want to go separate ways or even open the relationship up. So most straight men and many women for that matter, commit themselves to celibacy to hold their sexless marriage together.

    As for friendship, yes it is a pain with gay men and much harder to form. But there are straight men and I've found they can be great friends without the complications of sex.

    Now you may say a straight man without kids could enjoy all these benefits but don't underestimate how difficult it is for a straight man to pull this off. A straight married guy once told me he was suspicious I was gay because as he put it, a straight guy with my stature and success would eventually give in to the pressure to get married and have kids. I know for fact that if I were straight I would be married with kids. I would love those kids dearly and no matter how difficult raising them would be I would embrace it and never regret having brought them into this world. I know this, because it is my nature. I'm not straight though I'm gay. So I'm happy to embrace all that not having a family has given me. And I'm happy to have had the opportunity to embrace all those beautiful men from different cultures and races I've met. And I'll never forget the exquisite Aussie I had the honor of dining and spooning all night on my last night in Sydney.



    wow this is very detailed and i do want kids to , i never said i didnt but i know i wont have any , maybe i know i cant have a relationship with a woman because im just not attracted to them , i love being gay because of many things thanks
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    Sep 28, 2011 3:58 AM GMT
    calibro saidnot like being gay and not liking your gay life because it's filled with drama that's your own fault are two different things.



    ^ very savvy