My Inability To Keep A Man

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2011 8:03 PM GMT
    So basically I've been actively pursuing men for about a year. I've communicated with roughly 50 different guys and as of now I'm utterly alone. My dating life averages a real date once every other month. Never a second date. This week I've been talking to four different guys. The highest priority guy I met on GrindR who's 19 and just moved in with his grandparents, beautiful guy. We talked for about an hour via text and he decided to walk over to my street. We chatted for about an hour behind my house he was getting ready to leave and it was like 3:00 in the morning and I'm not going to say what happened but he was supposed to come back at 7:00 when my parents left for work. Never happened he text and said he was busy and would let me know later if he could come. I text him the next day asking if he was free that night, no response. Pretty sure he's already lost interest. Shocker. The second guy I met on JackD and we've been talking for a few weeks I would say more relaxed not really romantic. So we were supposed to meet yesterday and he never text me the info when he said he would. I text him that night and he said he got called into work. He asked me if I wanted to make "an appearance" at a birthday party with him. (I'm extremely insecure and I really don't feel like going to a party where I don't know anyone, especially when I only want to be with him). I told him I couldn't make it because I ordered food. He didn't text back. Shoot me. The third guy I met today on GrindR and we chatted for a bit and he asked what I was looking for and I said a date. So I was like what are you doing tomorrow and he was like "u" icon_neutral.gif so I text him the info for a movie we could see and he hasn't messaged back.

    This is basically the same things that happen over and over again with me. I barely even get to meet most the guys I talk too. And then the ones I do drop communication, or the date goes in a totally different direction and it's over. I mean how do I keep having this stuff happen to me? The first guy claimed he wanted a relationship and we had a great conversation and then we basically just got extremely stupid and reckless. I just honestly feel like I'm not meant to be with anyone because there's something wrong with me. I know I have a boring social life because my personality is quite uninteresting. I just get tired of reaching out to these guys all the time. Like if I don't text these guys right now I will never hear from them. That's how it always works.

    I just feel like at most I'm a sex object for guys, not someone they would date. I honestly feel I know why but I feel like accepting that fact would make me give up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2011 10:10 PM GMT
    herdthosecats.png
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    Sep 22, 2011 10:11 PM GMT
    Inostrankan saidherdthosecats.png
    icon_razz.gif LMAO
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Sep 22, 2011 10:12 PM GMT
    You are 20 years old. TWENTY. You have your whole life ahead of you to chase and keep men.
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    Sep 22, 2011 10:12 PM GMT
    Adonis,

    You are 20. Stop worrying about a relationship. Focus on you. Go to school, get a career and get established. You dont need a man to be complete, you need a man to compliment your life.

    Now go! Time is short!
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    Sep 22, 2011 10:13 PM GMT
    Chainers saidAdonis,

    You are 20. Stop worrying about a relationship. Focus on you. Go to school, get a career and get established. You dont need a man to be complete, you need a man to compliment your life.

    Now go! Time is short!


    Or several men.
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    Sep 22, 2011 10:18 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Chainers saidAdonis,

    You are 20. Stop worrying about a relationship. Focus on you. Go to school, get a career and get established. You dont need a man to be complete, you need a man to compliment your life.

    Now go! Time is short!
    Pretty much this.


    Gasp! Trollileo and I agree on something!
  • SirEllingtonB...

    Posts: 497

    Sep 22, 2011 10:35 PM GMT
    sbwlguy saidYou are 20 years old. TWENTY. You have your whole life ahead of you to chase and keep men.


    Agreed. I've been noticing all this pressure from guys our age lately to be in relationships and I don't quite understand from where it's coming. It's not that we're too young to be in stable, healthy relationships but I think many of us try to force it by rushing into things. Keeping up with my friends is hard enough these days with school, dance training, work, and sleep, let alone a relationship. I say we focus on what we already have and are working on and get ourselves situated in this world before we add a potential love interest.
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    Sep 22, 2011 11:20 PM GMT
    Chainers saidAdonis,

    You are 20. Stop worrying about a relationship. Focus on you. Go to school, get a career and get established. You dont need a man to be complete, you need a man to compliment your life.

    Now go! Time is short!


    I concur! Don't obsess over this. You're still very young and have tons of time to date guys.
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    Sep 22, 2011 11:27 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    Trollileo said
    Chainers saidAdonis,

    You are 20. Stop worrying about a relationship. Focus on you. Go to school, get a career and get established. You dont need a man to be complete, you need a man to compliment your life.

    Now go! Time is short!
    Pretty much this.


    Gasp! Trollileo and I agree on something!



    *faints*

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    Sep 22, 2011 11:34 PM GMT
    I agree with that other posters are saying, you're 20, you got your whole life ahead of you but your concerns are 100% legitimate, I also worry sometimes because most gay guys are very shallow, and in 20 years maybe we won't be looking as good as we look now and that does scare me a little, @OP.
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    Sep 22, 2011 11:35 PM GMT
    It's just something I value and want.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2011 11:40 PM GMT
    Maybe you're coming across as needy.
    Seriously; stop looking for a BF and a BF will find you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2011 12:35 AM GMT
    Hey Adonis,

    I felt the same way you have for a while. In some ways I do want a relationship, but I dont want to 'force' it you know? I realize you are trying to find a real guy and I respect that, but don't try and make it happen...let it happen naturally.

    You and I are the same age. We are young and like everyone else said, we have our whole lives ahead of ourselves. At age 20, we aren't really supposed to be tied down. We are supposed to live...have fun...get good grades...do internships...and find a career we love and make a decent living on.

    My last, and only, boyfriend I ever had was for 4 months my senior year of high school...I am a junior at UCONN now. For so long I just wanted a boyfriend because it is something I to value...but I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason. I feel I dont have a boyfriend because I am not 'complete' yet. There are still things I need to do in order to become the person I want to be. If a boy comes along that I like and want to date...awesome...if not...I don't need a boyfriend to feel good about myself.

    So don't sweat it dude. Your young, you are good looking, just relax, live life, focus on school...all that good junk. It really is true what they say...good things happen when you least expect it. There are some things you need to work hard for, and there are some things you need to just let happen.

    I hope this helps Adonis.

    -Alex
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Sep 23, 2011 12:43 AM GMT
    It's true that you do have your whole life ahead of you and you are quite handsome, so don't worry, it will all come together in time. I always found it hard to find a guy in Goodlettsville also.....icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 23, 2011 12:44 AM GMT
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  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Sep 23, 2011 12:53 AM GMT
    Welcome to the world of dating. Its unproductive and sucks most of the time, but that makes it all the better when you find someone that you really click and enjoy.


    There's a reason why there are hundreds if not thousands of songs, movies, TV show plots, poems, and stories written about love and the lack thereof. It's difficult at best until it works.

    Mika states it best in his song "Lollipop"

    "Live your life until love is found
    'Cause love's gonna get you down."

  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Sep 23, 2011 12:58 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    dancedancekj saidWelcome to the world of dating. Its unproductive and sucks most of the time, but that makes it all the better when you find someone that you really click and enjoy.


    There's a reason why there are hundreds if not thousands of songs, movies, TV show plots, poems, and stories written about love and the lack thereof. It's difficult at best until it works.

    Mika states it best in his song "Lollipop"

    "Live your life until love is found
    'Cause love's gonna get you down."

    I fricking love this song.


    Isn't it awesome? And that music video is a work of art too.
  • Neurons

    Posts: 537

    Sep 23, 2011 1:02 AM GMT
    After 50 guys... maybe there's something wrong with you and not them?

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  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Sep 23, 2011 1:22 AM GMT
    You're 20. You have no business complaining about lost love to guys who are older than your father. Shut up and get on with your life.
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    Sep 23, 2011 1:26 AM GMT
    The_Guerrilla_Sodomite saidtumblr_leftkrHJkw1qf8yek.gif


    LMAO!!!
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Sep 23, 2011 1:26 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Inostrankan said
    Chainers saidAdonis,

    You are 20. Stop worrying about a relationship. Focus on you. Go to school, get a career and get established. You dont need a man to be complete, you need a man to compliment your life.

    Now go! Time is short!


    Or several men.
    Nope. That's just you.


    Me too
  • Neurons

    Posts: 537

    Sep 23, 2011 1:26 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidYou're 20. You have no business complaining about lost love to guys who are older than your father. Shut up and get on with your life.


    tumblr_lmg9emaWJT1qcragg.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2011 3:30 AM GMT
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2011 4:03 AM GMT
    Relax. And, get the conversations off the computer and into real life as soon as possible. And, meet real people offline.