Divorced with kids keeps the men away...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 1:41 AM GMT
    Any other divorced guys with grown kids have this issue? Thoughts? Suggestions?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 23, 2011 1:44 AM GMT
    Sounds like shallow men, the kind who will bitch and complain they don't have anyone after rejecting guys for dumb reasons like that.

    Is it men closer to your age?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 2:00 AM GMT
    Timbales saidSounds like shallow men, the kind who will bitch and complain they don't have anyone after rejecting guys for dumb reasons like that.

    Is it men closer to your age?


    Yes, men around my age and others.
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Sep 23, 2011 2:01 AM GMT
    yes yes yes a thousand times....the few i have met, want to make sure my kids, whom are 30 and 27....are placed in 3rd or 4th place.....cannot accept them as part of my life...ideal would be to find someone else with kids also....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 2:07 AM GMT
    Sure as hell wouldn't stop me from dating a guy. I love kids and young adults. I would expect them to put their kids ahead of me and as independent as I am it wouldn't bother me in the least. That being said, I've been finding guys who have separated but yet to divorce are not emotionally ready to date.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 23, 2011 2:18 AM GMT
    I'm 41, wouldn't have an issue dating a divorced guy with kids, as long as the divorce was finalized.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 7:59 AM GMT
    Gotta be careful not to spook gay men...their tails poof out, their backs arch up, and they go "HHHHIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSS" before they run away with their claws bared.

    Try wrapping them in a towel before telling them you have kids.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 8:38 AM GMT
    I'm 21...I don't see an issue unless the kids are close to my age. lol Keep looking there's def a guy out there somewhere who won't mind a family.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 1:39 PM GMT
    Regrettably, many gay guys are selfish, self-centered, and self-indulgent cunts and the mere thought of sharing their "spotlight" with another guy's kid(s) makes their asses tremble in fear and/or jealousy. I've always thought that responsible men who have kids are hot--not because they have demonstrated that they can father a child, but because they have demonstrated that they can selflessly share their love with another human being.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 1:57 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidRegrettably, many gay guys are selfish, self-centered, and self-indulgent cunts and the mere thought of sharing their "spotlight" with another guy's kid(s) makes their asses tremble in fear and/or jealousy. I've always thought that responsible men who have kids are hot--not because they have demonstrated that they can father a child, but because they have demonstrated that they can selflessly share their love with another human being.


    I wouldn't have said it quite as bluntly as this but +1.

    Take it as a blessing that you discovered these major insecurities sooner rather than later.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 2:00 PM GMT
    It wouldnt matter to me. sound like some immature dudes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 2:01 PM GMT
    I think you're looking at this entirely too negatively. Being "divorced with kids" isn't keeping "men" away, it's keeping "men who aren't right for me and my family" away.

    The men who aren't right for you are self-selecting out of your dating pool.
  • LIM54

    Posts: 18

    Sep 23, 2011 2:12 PM GMT
    They do exist, though. My kids are 9 and 8 and I have been in a relationship for about 4 years now. A lot of it has to do with maturity on the guy's part. There is more drama out there than just being a parent to avoid in a potential mate.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 2:13 PM GMT
    LIM54 saidThey do exist, though. My kids are 9 and 8 and I have been in a relationship for about 4 years now. A lot of it has to do with maturity on the guy's part. There is more drama out there than just being a parent to avoid in a potential mate.


    You look too young to have a 9 year old.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 2:16 PM GMT
    Depends on the guy and it depends on the kid(s).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 2:24 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidRegrettably, many gay guys are selfish, self-centered, and self-indulgent cunts and the mere thought of sharing their "spotlight" with another guy's kid(s) makes their asses tremble in fear and/or jealousy. I've always thought that responsible men who have kids are hot--not because they have demonstrated that they can father a child, but because they have demonstrated that they can selflessly share their love with another human being.


    Not just gay men, change that to many people. I have a straight friend who had been dating a woman for a year by the time his divorce was finalized. His wife is African and felt it would be best for him to have full custody so her child could be raised in the states. His girlfriend at some point says, "we need to talk about this custody issue." It was a bit of a bombshell for him and his only reply was, "don't make me chose." The day his child arrived his girlfriend split and refused to return any attempts on his part to comunicate with her. It was his girlfriend's loss. His daughter is the most beautiful well behaved girl a parent could possibly want.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    I am the only one that thinks there is nothing selfish about someone not wanting to date someone with kids? When your mind is on finding someone to ultimately make a lifelong commitment, children will be a very major part of that relationship. It's not one guy likes blue, the other likes green or one can cut a rug and the other has two left feet. Some of us are just not into children and some of us have already raised children and don't want to do it again. It's just not for all us. There is nothing wrong with looking for the kind of lifestyle you want to live.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 2:46 PM GMT
    But daddy...you didn't raise me...you threw me out of the house when I was 15 and said "You can make it! Run along!"


    Iceblink saidI am the only one that thinks there is nothing selfish about someone not wanting to date someone with kids? When your mind is on finding someone to ultimately make a lifelong commitment, children will be a very major part of that relationship. It's not one guy likes blue, the other likes green or one can cut a rug and the other has two left feet. Some of us are just not into children and some of us have already raised children and don't want to do it again. It's just not for all us. There is nothing wrong with looking for the kind of lifestyle you want to live.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 23, 2011 2:54 PM GMT
    Iceblink saidI am the only one that thinks there is nothing selfish about someone not wanting to date someone with kids? When your mind is on finding someone to ultimately make a lifelong commitment, children will be a very major part of that relationship. It's not one guy likes blue, the other likes green or one can cut a rug and the other has two left feet. Some of us are just not into children and some of us have already raised children and don't want to do it again. It's just not for all us. There is nothing wrong with looking for the kind of lifestyle you want to live.


    what about the OP's situation where he has adult kids?
  • LIM54

    Posts: 18

    Sep 23, 2011 2:55 PM GMT
    I don't think it's selfish, just that the original poster shouldn't give up because some guys say they are happy about it and actually hold true to that.

    And I'm over 30 so having kids that age isn't too crazy. :p
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 3:01 PM GMT
    Women are just as bad. My brother's 40 and raising a 14 year old daughter he has primary custody. It's hard for him to get dates due to allot of women not wanting to date a man with a child.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 3:04 PM GMT
    ConfederateGhost saidBut daddy...you didn't raise me...you threw me out of the house when I was 15 and said "You can make it! Run along!"


    Iceblink saidI am the only one that thinks there is nothing selfish about someone not wanting to date someone with kids? When your mind is on finding someone to ultimately make a lifelong commitment, children will be a very major part of that relationship. It's not one guy likes blue, the other likes green or one can cut a rug and the other has two left feet. Some of us are just not into children and some of us have already raised children and don't want to do it again. It's just not for all us. There is nothing wrong with looking for the kind of lifestyle you want to live.


    Always complaining. Don't say I never gave you anything. Remember that one Thanksgiving night when we let you back in the house to fill up on leftovers? Or that year just before Christmas when I brought you a blanket so you would be warm under that bridge because everyone was saying it was going to be a long, cold winter? Looks like you made it through just fine!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 3:16 PM GMT
    Timbales said
    Iceblink saidI am the only one that thinks there is nothing selfish about someone not wanting to date someone with kids? When your mind is on finding someone to ultimately make a lifelong commitment, children will be a very major part of that relationship. It's not one guy likes blue, the other likes green or one can cut a rug and the other has two left feet. Some of us are just not into children and some of us have already raised children and don't want to do it again. It's just not for all us. There is nothing wrong with looking for the kind of lifestyle you want to live.


    what about the OP's situation where he has adult kids?


    Even though the impact is going to be less then with younger children, still not going to judge people who don't want to enter into that. My partner has two adult children. It has only been a positive influence in our life and I am very close to his daughter, but I understood I was going into a life with someone with a family. Not going to judge anyone who does not want that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 3:27 PM GMT
    How could I have ever forgot? Must have been the frost-bite and near-death encounter with pneumonia . ack.

    But I am alive, strong and kicking (screaming sometimes too). Thank you daddy.


    Iceblink said
    Timbales said
    Iceblink saidI am the only one that thinks there is nothing selfish about someone not wanting to date someone with kids? When your mind is on finding someone to ultimately make a lifelong commitment, children will be a very major part of that relationship. It's not one guy likes blue, the other likes green or one can cut a rug and the other has two left feet. Some of us are just not into children and some of us have already raised children and don't want to do it again. It's just not for all us. There is nothing wrong with looking for the kind of lifestyle you want to live.


    what about the OP's situation where he has adult kids?


    Even though the impact is going to be less then with younger children, still not going to judge people who don't want to enter into that. My partner has two adult children. It has only been a positive influence in our life and I am very close to his daughter, but I understood I was going into a life with someone with a family. Not going to judge anyone who does not want that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 23, 2011 5:34 PM GMT
    lgswimr saidI'm 21...I don't see an issue unless the kids are close to my age. lol Keep looking there's def a guy out there somewhere who won't mind a family.


    The thing is my kids are grown and on there own and it still seems to be an issue. I hear "oh you have kids...wow" then they say something nice that's it.