Self-Absorption

  • DCJock99

    Posts: 4

    Sep 23, 2011 5:43 PM GMT
    Is it just my imagination, or are gay guys a lot more self-absorbed than straight? These boards are a good example of that. Particularly the most prolific posters seem to try to figure out a way of turning every topic into an excuse to talk about themselves. There's a ton more talking than listening that goes on. That's been my experience in real life too.

    Bulletin: Everything is not about you. The narcissism on display in these posts is really remarkable.

    Disclaimers: 1. I am not trying to start a flame war. 2. I realize generalizations are just that, so spare me the lesson in what "generalization" means. Generalizations may be valid or invalid. I'm asking whether this one seems as valid to you as it does to me.
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    Sep 23, 2011 6:16 PM GMT
    No. I'm self-absorbed; working on it, and it's okay because I don't necessarily have to give it up. It's a great way to get someone you aren't interested in to not like you.

    The majority of people I interact with daily are straight, self-absorbed, and angryicon_smile.gif
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    Sep 23, 2011 6:21 PM GMT

    THIS IS ABOUT ME ISN'T IT!! *insert angry diatribe about being holier than thou*

    This is what I think about self-absorbed people *bla bla bla bla*.

    Seriously though, I think a big part of it here is that there are so many members, and the forums are really really busy. To have your post read, you have to get the response in quickly, and so it becomes kind of competitive in that regard. And then because there are so many people and they're trying to get heard, it creates more posts to read in order to follow the topic properly, and when that becomes overwhelming, there's not much left to do but skip to the last page and unburden your mind.
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    Sep 23, 2011 6:21 PM GMT
    Get a damn face photo. There, talking about you. Be a man and stop hiding.
  • misternick

    Posts: 234

    Sep 23, 2011 6:25 PM GMT
    My guess is that people make comments about themselves when replying to a post because if you didn't personally identify with the post it wouldn't have interested you in the first place.

    The exception is when someone states a fact to support or explain something or counter a previously made point. Otherwise, you're sharing personal details that you think will contribute to the conversation.

    Post 1: "Two and two equals three."
    Post 2: "I just put two apples next to two apples and now I'm looking at four apples."
    Post 3: "I like apples."


    That being said, I'm pretty self-centered, so my opinion is probably biased.
  • danielvn

    Posts: 222

    Sep 23, 2011 6:26 PM GMT
    Lol, you're judging everyone and calling them self-absorbed when you're the one lifting up your shirt, trying to show off your chest/body (probably starring at your reflection in the mirror too).
    And by the way, grow a pair of nuts and reveal yourself Lol. Don't try to judge people when you're not even comfortable in your own skin ^__^
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    Sep 23, 2011 6:29 PM GMT
    danielvn saidLol, you're judging everyone and calling them self-absorbed when you're the one lifting up your shirt, trying to show off your chest/body (probably starring at your reflection in the mirror too).
    And by the way, grow a pair of nuts and reveal yourself Lol. Don't try to judge people when you're not even comfortable in your skin ^__^
    +1
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    Sep 23, 2011 6:43 PM GMT
    This entire website is full of vain faggots seeking validation to feel less distressed and feel better about being gay. The more validation they get, i.e. hot listings, photo comments, MOTD votes, the better they feel, and this reassures them that they are worthwhile and deserving of love. Such people have yet to discover their true selves, and the validation they are receiving is unauthentic. These people will never be content with their lives, hence the self-absorption and the world revolving around them. .
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    Sep 23, 2011 6:46 PM GMT
    Sorry to break with the theme of smacking the OP.. but I need to be self-absorbed and tell people stuff about me.

    So anyway when I was younger, I was so afraid of the awkward silences, and my strategy was to talk about myself until the other person had something to latch onto and a new conversation could start. Now, I kind of expect others to respond with an explanation about themselves without me needing to ask them.

    edit: to the above, is what you talked about any worse than berating others to make one's self feel good? Is that the healthier way to achive validity and happiness?
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    Sep 23, 2011 6:52 PM GMT
    DCJock99 saidIs it just my imagination, or are gay guys a lot more self-absorbed than straight? These boards are a good example of that. Particularly the most prolific posters seem to try to figure out a way of turning every topic into an excuse to talk about themselves. There's a ton more talking than listening that goes on. That's been my experience in real life too.

    Bulletin: Everything is not about you. The narcissism on display in these posts is really remarkable.

    Disclaimers: 1. I am not trying to start a flame war. 2. I realize generalizations are just that, so spare me the lesson in what "generalization" means. Generalizations may be valid or invalid. I'm asking whether this one seems as valid to you as it does to me.


    I don't know how you can talk about such insignificant issues at a time like this when there are more pressing matters: like me. And what restaurant I am going to eat lunch at today. icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 23, 2011 6:55 PM GMT
    Nope. Just you.

    Or not.

    I don't know.

    Who cares.

    flamewar.gif
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    Sep 23, 2011 6:56 PM GMT
    aHLjock saidThis entire website is full of vain faggots seeking validation to feel less distressed and feel better about being gay. The more validation they get, i.e. hot listings, photo comments, MOTD votes, the better they feel, and this reassures them that they are worthwhile and deserving of love. Such people have yet to discover their true selves, and the validation they are receiving is unauthentic. These people will never be content with their lives, hence the self-absorption and the world revolving around them. .


    When I finally stopped feeling that way and stopped focusing on the internet my whole life changed.

    I'm way more social again(like I was pre-internet in the first place), making a ton of new friends, and found the hottie I was sitting on the internet dreaming about.

    The whole "picture" and "profile" thing on the internet is ridiculous. In most cases it won't find you anyone and it won't make you feel any better about yourself. Going outside and meeting people does all that.

    I turned myself into a shut in by obsessing over my personal appearance and when I finally got tired of it I realized people actually found and still find me attractive in real life the whole time.

    The internet for me now is just something to amuse myself with for a while and not some chance to feel like the cool kid I never allowed myself to be in high school(which is what I believe the majority of the people shoving giant profiles of themselves online to collect massive "friends" lists are hoping to achieve).

    I'm finding out real social butterflies damn near don't even know what the internet is, never heard of a message board, and don't use Facebook. They're too busy living real lives to care.
  • DCJock99

    Posts: 4

    Sep 23, 2011 7:06 PM GMT
    aHLjock said...The more validation they get, i.e. hot listings, photo comments, MOTD votes, the better they feel, and this reassures them that they are worthwhile and deserving of love. Such people have yet to discover their true selves, and the validation they are receiving is unauthentic. These people will never be content with their lives, hence the self-absorption and the world revolving around them. .


    I do think there's truth in this interpretation. I think we could all benefit from reading that reply a few times. Figuring out what's real and authentic is key to getting to a deeper happiness, finally. A lot of folks just seem lost on that journey. It's not an easy one.
  • bolero_of_fir...

    Posts: 551

    Sep 23, 2011 7:07 PM GMT
    The obsession over face photos is even more annoying.

    "I can't see your face therefore your opinion is invalid."

    They only care because they need to see your face before they can decide if they like you or dislike you.
  • bolero_of_fir...

    Posts: 551

    Sep 23, 2011 7:11 PM GMT
    aHLjock saidThis entire website is full of vain faggots seeking validation to feel less distressed and feel better about being gay. The more validation they get, i.e. hot listings, photo comments, MOTD votes, the better they feel, and this reassures them that they are worthwhile and deserving of love. Such people have yet to discover their true selves, and the validation they are receiving is unauthentic. These people will never be content with their lives, hence the self-absorption and the world revolving around them. .

    First post on forum.

    Nailed it.
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Sep 23, 2011 7:33 PM GMT
    One only needs to watch Jersey Shore, Real Housewives of _______, and The A-List to realize that self absorbed people are self absorbed, no matter their sexuality.

    Too bad aHLjock is ironically, demonstrating his point. He's pretty.
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    Sep 23, 2011 7:52 PM GMT
    I'm appalled at the OP for posting this thread about me! Just because I happen to be the best thing to ever grace the surface of this earth doesn't mean that I'm narcissistic or self-absorbed. I was just born this way.
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    Sep 23, 2011 8:05 PM GMT
    Straight or gay, it doesn't make a difference -- most people are self-absorbed, sometimes to a breathtaking degree.

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    Sep 23, 2011 8:06 PM GMT
    I didnt read this thread but I did want to say that it should be about me.

    There I said it.
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    Sep 23, 2011 8:10 PM GMT
    Its not a gay thing. Self-absorption appears to be the new normal these days. Drives me nuts. I love escaping city life sometimes back to Ohio where I can find isolated pockets of humanity who have no concept of what it means to be that way.
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    Sep 23, 2011 8:24 PM GMT
    Trollileo saidAlso, if you can't stand self-absorption consider for a moment what line of work the person may be in. I'm a music major. If I'm not boisterous, self-absorbed, and grabbing the attention of people in my surroundings I'm clearly doing it wrong. When I started as a freshmen no one would bat an eye to me, because I tried being humble. That shit didn't work. I practiced harder, sounded better, and worked more than my peers who were auditioning for the same spots that I was. For some reason people don't like watching someone who doesn't bleed confidence to the point that it's self-absorption. Friends asked me why I wasn't more confident. I tried explaining I was confident. I just don't like being an attention whore. So now I'm a total attention whore, I get all the solos in my A Cappella group, everyone loves me because I'm such a good player. My tone on horn still blends in the timbre of the ensemble, but still protrudes from the texture in a way that is enjoyable to the ears.

    So there you have it. Self-absorption gets you places.


    It does. There is a difference from self absorption and confidence. Someone who is self absorbed doesnt care about anyone else. Someone who is confident has faith in their ability to do things.
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    Sep 23, 2011 8:28 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Chainers said
    Trollileo saidAlso, if you can't stand self-absorption consider for a moment what line of work the person may be in. I'm a music major. If I'm not boisterous, self-absorbed, and grabbing the attention of people in my surroundings I'm clearly doing it wrong. When I started as a freshmen no one would bat an eye to me, because I tried being humble. That shit didn't work. I practiced harder, sounded better, and worked more than my peers who were auditioning for the same spots that I was. For some reason people don't like watching someone who doesn't bleed confidence to the point that it's self-absorption. Friends asked me why I wasn't more confident. I tried explaining I was confident. I just don't like being an attention whore. So now I'm a total attention whore, I get all the solos in my A Cappella group, everyone loves me because I'm such a good player. My tone on horn still blends in the timbre of the ensemble, but still protrudes from the texture in a way that is enjoyable to the ears.

    So there you have it. Self-absorption gets you places.


    It does. There is a difference from self absorption and confidence. Someone who is self absorbed doesnt care about anyone else. Someone who is confident has faith in their ability to do things.
    One way I like to think of it now is that I still care about the success of others, but now I care more about my success. If I don't succeed first how can I help others succeed? It's easier to pull someone up than push them up.


    Notice how many times you said "i" there, self absorbed much? lololololololol.

    Ok Im trolling :-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2011 8:31 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Chainers said
    Trollileo said
    Chainers said
    Trollileo saidAlso, if you can't stand self-absorption consider for a moment what line of work the person may be in. I'm a music major. If I'm not boisterous, self-absorbed, and grabbing the attention of people in my surroundings I'm clearly doing it wrong. When I started as a freshmen no one would bat an eye to me, because I tried being humble. That shit didn't work. I practiced harder, sounded better, and worked more than my peers who were auditioning for the same spots that I was. For some reason people don't like watching someone who doesn't bleed confidence to the point that it's self-absorption. Friends asked me why I wasn't more confident. I tried explaining I was confident. I just don't like being an attention whore. So now I'm a total attention whore, I get all the solos in my A Cappella group, everyone loves me because I'm such a good player. My tone on horn still blends in the timbre of the ensemble, but still protrudes from the texture in a way that is enjoyable to the ears.

    So there you have it. Self-absorption gets you places.


    It does. There is a difference from self absorption and confidence. Someone who is self absorbed doesnt care about anyone else. Someone who is confident has faith in their ability to do things.
    One way I like to think of it now is that I still care about the success of others, but now I care more about my success. If I don't succeed first how can I help others succeed? It's easier to pull someone up than push them up.


    Notice how many times you said "i" there, self absorbed much? lololololololol.

    Ok Im trolling :-)
    I love using first person pronouns and possessives such as I, me, and my. I think it gets my point across. I can't have people think I'm not self-absorbed.


    You just wouldnt be the same if you werent Trollileo!

    Love ya child!
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    Sep 23, 2011 8:31 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Chainers said

    It does. There is a difference from self absorption and confidence. Someone who is self absorbed doesnt care about anyone else. Someone who is confident has faith in their ability to do things.
    One way I like to think of it now is that I still care about the success of others, but now I care more about my success. If I don't succeed first how can I help others succeed? It's easier to pull someone up than push them up.


    Whatever, as if that's what you're thinking about when you're belting out a big note front and centre in front of an audience. You're thinking "THIS IS MY MOMENT, FUCK THE REST!"
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Sep 23, 2011 8:32 PM GMT
    Tollileo and Chainers need to get married and have babies.