Dumped for Saying I Like You

  • CityGuy2007

    Posts: 26

    Sep 23, 2011 7:19 PM GMT
    Last night I was dumped which sucks. Life goes on and all that, but the reason is so messed up. This dude I was seeing (on a casual basis) for 2 years overreacted when I said that I liked him. Outta nowhere he digs up his dirt about only being in it for fun until the right girl (yes, girl) comes along, and that he's got several other dudes on the side in the meantime too. He said he sees guys for fun only, but that he'll stop once he's with a girl. He also said the idea of being in a relationship with a guy isn't right, and then all this stuff about me meaning nothing yadda yadda yadda. So messed up. That is definitely the most messed up way I've been dumped, all because I said I liked him! Jeez, what a head melter. I pointed out that even if he gets a girlfriend, his tendencies towards guys is not just gonna magically disappear, but he didn't wanna hear it. Anyway, c'est la vie, in one sense I've had a very lucky escape, but I was really into him though. What a messed up dumping story. I just needed to get it off my chest I guess, fresh wounds and all that... What do you guys make of it?
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    Sep 23, 2011 7:23 PM GMT
    I get out of it that he doesn't want an emotional relationship of any sort and prefers to just hookup. He was quite happy with the way things were going between you both and you scared him off. As for all the waiting for a girl stuff, an excuse

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    Sep 23, 2011 7:35 PM GMT
    Well, I think it's too bad that you invested 2 years to find out you are just his play thing. I would consider his dumping you a blessing and I think he will have a rocky road in his life. Since he says he has several other dudes on the side I hope you've been practicing safe sex.
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    Sep 23, 2011 7:49 PM GMT
    At least you had two years of fun.

    Time to find another FB. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 23, 2011 7:57 PM GMT
    life goes on... offer him a big cup of 'go fuck yourself', and chalk it to the bedpost.... you'll find better... chin up...LOL
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    Sep 23, 2011 8:37 PM GMT
    I say you're the lucky one!
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    Sep 23, 2011 8:40 PM GMT
    He did you a HUGE favor!
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    Sep 23, 2011 8:55 PM GMT
    C_J35 saidHe did you a HUGE favor!


    No doubt. Doesn't make it sting less, but you've dodged the bullet with this head case.
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    Sep 23, 2011 8:59 PM GMT
    You deserved it idiot, what were you thinking anyways….use the head with a brain in it next time.
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    Sep 23, 2011 9:03 PM GMT
    I was dumped for saying, "I love you"........icon_cry.gif
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    Sep 23, 2011 9:03 PM GMT
    Wow he got no balls ... u don't deserve him anyways .. be happy
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    Sep 23, 2011 10:43 PM GMT
    Not to be a jerk, but it doesn't sound like you were "dumped." There has to be some kind of relationship there in order to be dumped. This was a long-term fuck buddy situation.
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    Sep 23, 2011 11:10 PM GMT
    Oh my goodness. I don't want to offend you or anything and I really mean this when I tell you


    You deserve so much more than that.
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    Sep 23, 2011 11:35 PM GMT
    Simon78928 saidYou deserved it idiot, what were you thinking anyways….use the head with a brain in it next time.


    icon_eek.gif okaaaaay
    ___________________________________________________

    anyways @OP you're right, you had a very lucky escape.
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    Sep 23, 2011 11:36 PM GMT
    It is more common than not for gay guys to treat one another like zombies or act like sex robots who are unloving and loveable. It has to do with self-loathing and the way a person has been brought up to think there's something wrong himself for being gay. Without therapy in adulthood, gay guys act out all sorts of unbalanced, destructive behavior. After awhile you can learn to spot people like this and just avoid them before you get your shoes dirty, but I know it still hurts. I'm sorry you got shafted.
  • mrsmithers

    Posts: 213

    Sep 24, 2011 1:01 AM GMT
    It sounds like a casual hookup was going on with this guy.. He was not looking for anything other than what was going on between u two in the last two years.. When you said u liked him, probably gave him the idea you are developing feelings for this guy, and he does not want to get emotionally involved, so u scared him off.. As far as getting a girl, it's not going to change the desire of him going out looking for sex with other guys.. You should have questioned him if u didn't know what his intentions are. Instead you scared him off... Many guys like to have buds to have sex with without feelings involved, that's where NSA comes in...
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    Sep 24, 2011 1:10 AM GMT
    Sounds like you both had different expectations. He was just looking for someone to screw whenever he wants with no attachment.
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    Sep 24, 2011 1:26 AM GMT
    Sometimes you think you can get a person to like you, and you can - you really can, but only if the timing is right. The problem is that once you know someone likes you, you are responsible for their emotional feelings. The hook up isn't light and free anymore. Hook ups aren't as fun when they feel "heavy". That's why if you decide to go the fbuddy route,and you find yourself liking the guy, you have to be strategic, and slowly chip away at the guy, gradually carving your way through until he feels like you really understand him. It's a slow dance. My take at least. Although I've never fallen in love or like with a fbuddy before.
  • TallguyNLA

    Posts: 440

    Sep 24, 2011 2:17 AM GMT
    he did YOU a favor in the end! No one wants to be with someone who CANT DECIDE who they are and WHO they wanna actually be with! I have bi-sexual friends, but they are only friends! I dont judge them at all, but I would never date any one who identified with both men and women. Its just not for me. in the end the only to be hurt is the one who tries to convince themselves that its ok and they wont stray away. MOVE ON and take it as a lesson learned. Hes only fooling himself.
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    Sep 24, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    He is not going to be emotionally available for you, I mean does he even consider you a friend, I guess not. So don't waste your time on him.
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    Sep 24, 2011 2:50 AM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidNot to be a jerk, but it doesn't sound like you were "dumped." There has to be some kind of relationship there in order to be dumped. This was a long-term fuck buddy situation.


    my thoughts exactly. you can only get dumped by someone you are dating. sounds like you guys were just fuck buddy's at best.
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    Sep 24, 2011 3:06 PM GMT
    CityGuy2007 saidLast night I was dumped which sucks. Life goes on and all that, but the reason is so messed up. This dude I was seeing (on a casual basis) for 2 years overreacted when I said that I liked him. Outta nowhere he digs up his dirt about only being in it for fun until the right girl (yes, girl) comes along, and that he's got several other dudes on the side in the meantime too. He said he sees guys for fun only, but that he'll stop once he's with a girl. He also said the idea of being in a relationship with a guy isn't right, and then all this stuff about me meaning nothing yadda yadda yadda. So messed up. That is definitely the most messed up way I've been dumped, all because I said I liked him! Jeez, what a head melter. I pointed out that even if he gets a girlfriend, his tendencies towards guys is not just gonna magically disappear, but he didn't wanna hear it. Anyway, c'est la vie, in one sense I've had a very lucky escape, but I was really into him though. What a messed up dumping story. I just needed to get it off my chest I guess, fresh wounds and all that... What do you guys make of it?

    That's messed up. So you've been FBuddies for like 2 years and maybe he thinks once you declare your feelings for him then he's gonna have to drop other guys and be serious with you. So he dropped you like a hot potato. It's a real immaturity on his part and I am sorry that you had to go through that.

    I hope at least the sex was good.
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    Sep 24, 2011 3:18 PM GMT
    CityGuy2007 saidWhat do you guys make of it?

    I once spooked a guy and made him gun-shy when I told him I loved him after dating a few weeks. And I did love him, but he wasn't the commitment type. As evidenced by the fact he's still single almost 7 years later, never had a partner or steady BF (nor married, for that matter, but a few GFs), and he's about to hit the big 6-0.

    But after 2 YEARS, to dump you for just saying you like him, demonstrates what a flake and waste of your time this guy is. You're young, time to mark this up to lessons learned for next time, and move on.

    But don't doubt that the problem is his, not yours. Shake your head, hold it high, and don't look back. You're still likely a saleable commodity in the gay market there, while this guy is a loser, headed for emotional confusion & conflicts. Don't follow his example, nor have further entanglements with him.

    Best of luck to you. Take a little time off, perhaps, so you don't suffer from the bad judgement of "rebound syndrome" while your emotions recover, and then jump back into dating with both feet. You'll do just fine. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 24, 2011 3:21 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidNot to be a jerk, but it doesn't sound like you were "dumped." There has to be some kind of relationship there in order to be dumped. This was a long-term fuck buddy situation.


    +1
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    Sep 24, 2011 3:22 PM GMT
    CityGuy2007 saidLast night I was dumped which sucks. Life goes on and all that, but the reason is so messed up. This dude I was seeing (on a casual basis) for 2 years overreacted when I said that I liked him. Outta nowhere he digs up his dirt about only being in it for fun until the right girl (yes, girl) comes along, and that he's got several other dudes on the side in the meantime too. He said he sees guys for fun only, but that he'll stop once he's with a girl. He also said the idea of being in a relationship with a guy isn't right, and then all this stuff about me meaning nothing yadda yadda yadda. So messed up. That is definitely the most messed up way I've been dumped, all because I said I liked him! Jeez, what a head melter. I pointed out that even if he gets a girlfriend, his tendencies towards guys is not just gonna magically disappear, but he didn't wanna hear it. Anyway, c'est la vie, in one sense I've had a very lucky escape, but I was really into him though. What a messed up dumping story. I just needed to get it off my chest I guess, fresh wounds and all that... What do you guys make of it?


    Gimme a break! You would have to be in a relationship in order to be dumped.