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I have to rant here a bit because I found out that my best friend not only tried to hookup with me and his bf in a 3 way but when he was visiting out of town, messaged me to hookup without his bf's permission.

I just don't get it. it is so frustrating.

Are there any committment oriented, monogamous guys any more interesting in old fashioned dating??

Old-fashioned dating is when you actually have breakfast, properly introduce yourselves, and exchange names the next morning, right??

If so, then yeah. I'm in a good, old-fashioned relationship.

One word answer.

YES.

No issues staying monogamous either.

Yes ma'm.

Your not wrong - I agree with you.

There are more of us that believe that people are designed to live in pairs than you might think. Buck up, camper!

Very much so. I'm relationship oriented, and have issues with cheating and/or open relationships. They may work for some, and that's great for them - but not me.

I would be outraged as well Okay, well maybe outraged is a little over dramatic... Disgusted is probably more accurate.

I was in two committed relationships in the past and in both I was completely monogamous

I figured
If I was gonna have all the good AND bad that comes with a relationship
If I wanted to cheat? ... I'd be single

Gee, jar, I don't know if we are "designed" to live in pairs, that strikes me as deterministic to say the least. Let's just say that some guys' lives are enhanced by being committed to someone.

And some of us just ought to be committed.

Action speak louder than words.

How many times has One heard I'm in a monogamous relashionship. Yes while everyone is looking, or the magic of a new relationship is Still alive.

One is yet to see along term gay monogamous relationship. One of the contributors, is that it is soo easy for gay men to get sex.

Sorry but actions speak louder than words. Men are innately sluts, and their are a many gay venue that caters to this....

I am by no means a slut, thank you

I believe that two guys can be very happy in a monogamous relationship. I think we have quite a few guys here that can attest to that. I also believe if a couple wishes to have an open relationship, then they should. I know a few couples that have open relationships and they are very happy and contented.

This is right there along the same lines as my rant last week. I do not believe in open relationships and have no intention of ever being in one. If I have the need to fuck around all over the place, why would I want a partner. It's just too complicated.

I think that there are a lot more of us out there than you think.

Another fan of monogamy.

It's not for me to say what another should do--that's up to them--but personally I take satisfaction from the yin and yang a monogamous relationship provides.

Sorry to say it du, but either your friend's having issues or he's just being trashy. If he has made great professions in the past to want/prefer monogamy, then he's just being hypocritical which to me is the greater sin.

But yes, we (me and mine) are monogamous and to my knowledge, all of our friends who are couples (four pairs) are as well.

I think the great majority of gay men want monogamous relationships. That's why they break up and get a new partner every five years.

BostonVball saidI am by no means a slut, thank you

Nor am I! Note One said men, and not "all men!" But I still stand by what i said.

One has two long term relationships!

But One is chaste...........

But One my Bf's is on his way to becoming very sick from being a chain smoker. I will care for him when the sickness takes over.

If he is to die before I. Then One will only have one bf. This will be my last, and one and only.

Monogamy is hard. And not fun at times. But in the end, it's rewards are better than a lifetime of chasing the next piece of ass.

~Alex

I totally believe in monogamy. But finding another guy believes in it is easier said than done. And as I learned from my ex even the ones that say they do aren't always being truthful.

of course...Paul.. It is me who strongly believe in it.
Yes. I do believe in that monogamy. There are not many strong will guys around these days and I don't think they understand what LOVE is first of all.

i believe in it, and want it. this forum's good- nice to see other guys out there think the same- its easy to loose hope, i feel ur frustration man.

Pattison saidAction speak louder than words.

How many times has One heard I'm in a monogamous relashionship. Yes while everyone is looking, or the magic of a new relationship is Still alive.

One is yet to see along term gay monogamous relationship. One of the contributors, is that it is soo easy for gay men to get sex.

Sorry but actions speak louder than words. Men are innately sluts, and their are a many gay venue that caters to this....

Pat, you are really starting to irritate me. Just because you like to have a man is every corner of the world, does not mean we all do.

My grandparents were together from 18 and 16 years old until my grandfather passed away in his 60's. They have always been an inspiration to me and I have always believed, despite the imperical evidence, that when the right two people love each other and are more concerned for the other's well being than their own, that monogamy isn't even a real challenge. Its a choice, and you either are in love with it and that other person, or its time to move on.

Yep, still looking.

I totally believe that monogamy is possible... although some people just don't have it in their nature. I'm not an angel by any means. However, when it comes to being in a relationship, I am completely committed to the person I am with. I've been cheated on in the past and it is a horrible feeling. I would not want to inflict that kind of pain on someone I care about.

I've actually had a great deal of success with this sign...

- David

I think it is an honor to be faithful to the one you love. Monagamy is the only way to go, if you love the guy you are with.

I think if you sew your wild oats enough (like a lot of guys like me from the 80's did) then you've got a "been there, done that" attitude for mulitiple guys and orgy parties.

It has been 15 years for us. LOL all you want!

Oh yes, definitely.

The problem is all of them are taken! And I'm not one to steal or seduce because I realize that whoever has them has put at least as much work into finding their reward and convincing them of their genuine loyalty as I have in even looking!

It's really disappointing. It seems like the single guys who are interested in monogamous relationships are skeptical as well. So this doesn't help them much, does it?

I believe in monogamy, would like to meet the ONE someday. Right now, feeling doubtful it will though.

I totally believe in monogamyIt is possible as alot of us on here have attested too. Once you find someone you are totally in love with and would do anything for, no one else really matters. There will always be temptations out there, but when you're in love and you two are keeping each other satisfied the temptations come and go, because you know you have an awesome guy. Still waiting on my awesome guy .

Monogamous + single = celibat ...at least until the right guy comes along.

Two's company Three's a crowd that goes for me!

I am.

I can't say in the future what experiences might change that way of thinking though.

Me too. I'm also very "old fashioned" when it comes to dating as well.

I was recently told that I'm a "very gentlemanly man and...you're pictures [online] don't serve you any purpose except make you look like a bad-boy type."

I think I need new photos to reflect my "gentlemanly" side.

kencarson saidMonogamy is hard. And not fun at times. But in the end, it's rewards are better than a lifetime of chasing the next piece of ass.

~Alex

I agree, don't think I could have said it better myself

I was in a 9 year relationship, in which I was monogamous and never strayed. Many of my friends are in committed monogamous relationships also.

It is out there, but I understand and appreciate your ranting which has made a great target group of like minded men for me to choose from, LOL.

I definately am for monogamous relationships. Its a hell of a lot more rewarding than always being on the hunt for the next lay. I personally don't like wasting my time for the hunt and gaming for sex. I've got too much I enjoy doing to be bothered with trying to get rid of the night befores conquest. In a monogamous relationship, there's no waste of time too it, sex is there to share, no gaming, the next days activities are a partnership, there's a warmth/coziness about knowing your partner is always there for you, and a sense of wellbeing about yourself for being committed to in return to him. Its a win win situation if your matched well.

One of the biggest gay lessons in life is learning that there is a reason monogamy is successful. After you have ruined a great relationship or two by cheating, the next time you get a chance, you learn the guy you are with is better in the long run than any stud out there no matter how hot he is. I'm in the best relationship of my life because we are monogamous. 7 years so far, the goal is the rest of our lives.

it seems there are four types of relationships guys are oriented to.

single
monogamous
polygamous
cheating

i've been single, i've been monogamous, and now i'm in a very loving relationship with my boyfriend and we also have additional guys from time to time. but i've never been a cheater.

all too often the monogamy cluster seems to define those with an open or non-monogamous relationship as cheaters. i politely beg to differ and i also point out that you're entitled to think otherwise.

i however think that cheaters are those who mess around behind their partner's back without knowledge or consent. having sex with a 3rd party with your partner's knowledge and consent isn't cheating.

i've been on the monogamy side of the fence and did strongly protest against those who were not monogamous. perhaps strongly protest is too light verbiage for some of the things i've said in the past.

however a couple years ago i tried something new. perhaps it's the structure of our relationship, the quality of my boyfriend, or other, but my current relationship is by far the best i have ever had without comparison and that statement has nothing to do with satisfaction and pleasure from 3rd parties. in my monogamous relationships, frustration and anger eventually and always came to bear and it was sometimes heart piercing.

i'm not going to demonize monogamy in any way and i will stand firmly with you adamantly denouncing cheating.

just please keep in mind that not everyone who has a non-monogamous relationship is a cheater

Now that we are FINALLY ALLOWED to get married here in California, im sure those who are seriously monogamous can seal the deal. This will prove to everyone its possible for two guys(and ladies)to be exclusive to each other, in a serious loving partnership, and will also show how honest we are in establishing not only a lasting marriage, but a strong family as well. So,yeah,there are guys out there who believe in being together exclusively!

FirefighterBlu3 saidit seems there are four types of relationships guys are oriented to.

single
monogamous
polygamous
cheating




however a couple years ago i tried something new. perhaps it's the structure of our relationship, the quality of my boyfriend, or other, but my current relationship is by far the best i have ever had without comparison and that statement has nothing to do with satisfaction and pleasure from 3rd parties. in my monogamous relationships, frustration and anger eventually and always came to bear and it was sometimes heart piercing.

i'm not going to demonize monogamy in any way and i will stand firmly with you adamantly denouncing cheating.

just please keep in mind that not everyone who has a non-monogamous relationship is a cheater

I agree, having been in a relationship for over 12 years years with the most loving generous man who I would do anything in the world for. He is my best friend and I never tire of his companionship.
But just beacuse we aren't monogamous doesn't make our relationship any less worthwhile - it works for us and we're very happy.

People need to judge less, and I won't be lectured to by some single people who seem to posess a slight air of superiority, but at the same time also seem to be less happy than I am.

dfrourke said


I've actually had a great deal of success with this sign...
- David

ROFLMAO! that's great.

I remain loyal to my boyfriends. I'm dhirty-fwhore.

workingman said Now that we are FINALLY ALLOWED to get married here in California, im sure those who are seriously monogamous can seal the deal. This will prove to everyone its possible for two guys(and ladies)to be exclusive to each other, in a serious loving partnership, and will also show how honest we are in establishing not only a lasting marriage, but a strong family as well. So,yeah,there are guys out there who believe in being together exclusively!

that's always been possible and has been proven many times over. i'm not sure why this always comes up - it's a red herring. this subject nearly always seems to be started because someone cheated on the OP and the OP is feeling the pain so demonizes and stereotypes the rest of the dating pool.

look around you and you'll find established relationships that are monogamous and happy. marriage is just a state/church recognition of what you already have.

if you have to rely on a piece of paper to define your relationship, perhaps you should question the foundation you think you're standing on.

cbm67 saidPeople need to judge less, and I won't be lectured to by some single people who seem to posess a slight air of superiority, but at the same time also seem to be less happy than I am.

I used to be in those shoes and all of my monogamous relationships were fraught with angst, frustration, pain, accusations, and the list goes on. I used to lecture and whine about all the cheaters, players, and infidels.

Perhaps purely by chance, my very first open relationship has had absolutely nothing negative in it. We don't even spend any time thinking about splitting costs down the middle any more. It all works out.

I'm happy, I'm content, I'm alive and excited and in love.

dfrourke said



I've actually had a great deal of success with this sign...

- David

haha i love it david

workingman said Now that we are FINALLY ALLOWED to get married here in California, im sure those who are seriously monogamous can seal the deal.

If California is anything like Massachusetts was in 2004, you'll find boatloads of long term couples coming out of the woodwork and into the papers and TV sets. They aren't the guys in the bars and other places that singles are, so you don't see them much if those are the only places you go. If nothing else, legalized same-sex marriage does a lot for visibility of viable long term couples and their stories.

I hear ya du_jock. So many want that commitment to last to death, but I've seen little follow through by example over the years. Oh, it may start out that way, but does not get too far after a streak of time. They're a rare event. And it's not just us, look at the divorce rate and the level of adultery in society among our peer group. For the record, I wouldn't mind a golden anniversary myself one day. :-)

Well, I have had a couple of ideas in the past few days to get into a relationship, mainly in the meeting and then committing aspects.

One is to have the DJ at a club line up all the guys who are looking into two lines, one for bottoms and one for tops and then seeing where it goes from there. Thats as much as I believe the DJ could do to hook guys up.

The other one might surface later.

I don't believe in open relationships now.

I was in an open relationship towards the end of last year. (I was only out of the closet 5 months when it started). After 2 months, it started to feel more like we were just friends with benefits instead of boyfriends.

Count me in, too. 12 Years deep.

Firefighterblu3> look around you and you'll find established relationships that are monogamous and happy.

Depends where you look. If it's in most bars/clubs, then that's not what you're likely to see. You'll find the guys who aren't interested in monogamy and those who are looking in what they know is the wrong place but hoping that there will be others like themselves there.

Had a strange experience at the local Pridefest today. Two guys who flirted with me, within minutes, came up with a line to the tune of: "someone like you is probably married...", to which I said "right". Made it that much easier. (And I wasn't even wearing my ring.)

Perhaps I'm leaping to conclusions, but just maybe there's been a paradigm shift and there now exists an assumption that someone may be in a relationship and one should first ask (rather than the logic of "I saw you so you must be available, let's exchange bodily fluids and then, maybe trade names, too.")

du_jock saidI have to rant here a bit because I found out that my best friend not only tried to hookup with me and his bf in a 3 way but when he was visiting out of town, messaged me to hookup without his bf's permission.

I just don't get it. it is so frustrating.

Are there any committment oriented, monogamous guys any more interesting in old fashioned dating??

Yes...

I think I've posted to another thread similar to this one last month, but anyways, I do believe in and have been a consistent content practicionor of long term commited monogamous relationships ever since I entered the dating/coupling world. It's certainly not always easy for both involved, but when your heart and mind just want to settle on something stable after coming home from a world of constantly changing chaotic mess, it's a great relief and joy to know that someone is there for you and loves you.

At least, that's how I've always perceived my monogamous relationships.

I agree it is frustrating as a single person looking for a meaningful, monogamous, LTR. there are so many guys with BFs who are out there looking for extra curricular sex.
I would like to have a monogamous LTR. I thought i was moving in that direction with a guy i was seriously dating for 2 months. then he said he wasnt ready, so i am back to being single. it has been saddening having ones hopes disappointed (once again)

best of luck. they say it is all about timing.

michael

Im a relationship kinda guy. I've never really been into the hooking up scene... or whatever you want to call it... or the open relationship scene. I've been in a monogamous relationship for almost 2 years now, and I love it!

To me its a choice on how you want to live your life.

Me personally. I choose monogomy. I do not belive in cheating nor accept those whom are.

I was in 4y10m rel. that was not healthy and i had learned from it. I never cheated. He did. My bad for staying in it.

But. Personally no matter what its not an option in my book.

People at different ages can see that they want it or dont want it or later may want it.

For me its all ive ever wanted. I can count the number of partners on both hands. Id rather have one person that i can make love to.

But I need to get to know them develope a freind ship with them and then move on from there. Haveing a guy who has vehicle home job and goals and is on same path in life so we can do the same journey together.

We both will have problems and are there for each other and no one is perfect. But its the imperfections that make us unique and grow.

Well thats just my opinion. To those whom want to live in other type of relation ships thats their choice. Just not for me is all.

More power to them.

Oh and someone stated that monogmy is hard.

What the hell ever. Anything in life is hard and frankly if it was easy ... is it really worth it.
Any relationship thats worth any merrit and time will be hard becuase its two different people coming together.

If its for long term friendship family or lover. all are going to be a challenge.

If you are that worthless and give up at the slightest thing that make a relationship hard. Then you really need to grow up. There are far far far much harder things in life. Especially when you have a body that most guys die for. lol just makes me laugh. you worked hard to get that body and complain about monogomy is hard. wtf man.

Grow some balls.

I believe in monogamy. Nice to see others that state they do as well. But compared to the gay population I think we make a very small nearly pin sized portion of it.

And as far as your friend goes, try this. Maybe he's great in other ways and worth keeping as a buddy. But when it comes to his sexual exploits just look at him like a dog that still needs training. You have to firmly reassert what the boundaries are just like a puppy that's not fully capable of listening.

I used to get riled up when men would try and cross boundaries and almost feel betrayed or duped. Now I don't take them so seriously and I'm better off. I'm serious. This way you don't get upset over it. It works.

joescorpio1970 saidMe too. I'm also very "old fashioned" when it comes to dating as well.

I was recently told that I'm a "very gentlemanly man and...you're pictures [online] don't serve you any purpose except make you look like a bad-boy type."

I think I need new photos to reflect my "gentlemanly" side.

Your smile gives your gentlemanly side away, don't change your pics!

Since I don't smile much I probably give people the wrong impression when they first meet me. They probably think I am an aging skinhead. My behaviour and values are totally the opposite.

I hope that there is a monogamic relationship in store for me, but in the end I am not making myself any illusions. Getting a realtionship to work over longer time is difficult in the Gay community and I fear that I wont have another chance than considering an open relationship if the time comes.

du_jock saidI have to rant here a bit because I found out that my best friend not only tried to hookup with me and his bf in a 3 way but when he was visiting out of town, messaged me to hookup without his bf's permission.

I just don't get it. it is so frustrating.

Are there any committment oriented, monogamous guys any more interesting in old fashioned dating??

There's a difference between believing in monogomy and committment and actually behaving as such. The problem you list is not a lack of monogomy, or a lack of "old fashioned dating" but one of cheating. That is, violating the rules of the relationship, which is wrong no matter the conditions of the arrangement.

To answer the actual question you asked, yes. There are plenty who still believe in the (largely mythical) one man/woman and one man/woman only for the rest of your life "ideal." There are vanishingly few who can actual perform it. Just look at divorce and adultery statistics.

Thankfully there are relationships, like ours, that believe in all the normal relationship characteristics like monogamy and honesty. Most of the time, we hear about the cheaters and the liars because they make their issues public knowledge. You never hear anything about the good relationships because they avoid the limelight and devote their energy to making the relationship last.

Abso-freakin'-lutely! There are lots of guys who still believe in monogamy, and I don't think it's a matter of being "old-fashioned" at all. It's a matter of honesty and integrity.

Unfortunately, my ex, who not only committed to our relationship, but further promised never to cheat on me, lied to and betrayed me - within months after I'd watched both my only uncle and my father die, lost my job, lost a couple of friends, and went $70,000 in debt when my helicopter pilot school went bankrupt with all the students' money.

But *I* want a monogamous relationship and would never cheat on someone. If I felt I needed to stray, I'd talk it over with my partner and decide which was more important - my need to screw some random guy, or my relationship with a man I love and trust. If it was the former, we'd honestly, mutually, lovingly end the relationship.

Fortunately, there are amazing, sexy, sweet guys who share my passion for an honest, monogamous relationships who are showing up all the time.

Right. By no means do I believe its truly "old-fashion" either.

Monogamy is an interesting ideal. The modern social construct yields little room for anything else. However, I don't believe it's conducive with natural humanistic behavior. Men, especially, are flooded by contradictory, fundamental hormonal motivation. I think it's fair to say, the body's chemistry has been less affected by influence of society than the established "norms" we perceive today have.

Many Eastern Philosophical teachings and more accessibly, books like "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle discuss detachment from the human form, the body and I see a connection between preoccupation with possessions, material goods and the concept of MY boyfriend, MY lover, MY partner. The concept of love and attachment are similarly connected with addictions. The world of human perception is tumultuous.

Though I realize and respect the value of integrity and promise in human relationships, I think monogamy will forever battle more natural human behavior.

My partner and I have been together for 20 years. Our relationship is a monogamous relationship. We are very happy after 20 years. Our sex life is still just as good if not better.

A hopeless Romantic that truly believes in a loving loyal relationship here!


I have had several really GREAT LTRs so I am a true believer,,, I hope I meet the right one again... soon.


To the 18 year old that said the LTRs are all taken, in a word NO!!!!

You have many years to find a good man for you.

You got it Raptor!

GeorgeE saidMy partner and I have been together for 20 years. Our relationship is a monogamous relationship. We are very happy after 20 years. Our sex life is still just as good if not better.

10 years 5 months here, and still going strong. Sex is better than ever!

Gonna be the voice of dissent. I believe that monogamy is possible, but I don't think it is always applicable to the relationship. It really depends on the relationship. Just coming out of a LTR, I am not really looking for monogamy. There will be a time that I do, but for now, I want to have fun. I think there is a problem when couples decide to be open and then that open relationship seems to dictate everything they do. I think ideally, I would be in a relationship where I would be monogamous because I wanted to, not because I had to. Sex can complicate things a lot, so it is dangerous to give it too much power. I find intimacy can occur on many different level ans should not be sequestered to just sex.

Raptor saidI really find it amusing how people attempt to convolute monogamy and make excuses for their promiscuity with hormones and say it's human behavior to fuck around.

I see it as more black and white. If you love a person, you'll stay committed and faithful to them. If you don't, then you'll do whatever. It really is just that simple.

I agree!

I believe in monogamy, even though I realize that people are people. Nothing is ever perfect, and when you try to force something, it beaks. I am currently in a monogamous relationship and loving it. It doesn't mean that sometimes I don't want to go and have fun with someone else, it's just that I chose not to act on those once in a while feelings. I have quite a few friends that are into open relationships, and almost every single one of them has been quite miserable because of their guy leaving them for another after a while. Now, I am not saying that polygamy doesn't work at all. There is always a certain percentage of the population that is capable of handling such relationships. I am not one of them, no matter how open minded I am.

youngonesd saidRight. By no means do I believe its truly "old-fashion" either.

Monogamy is an interesting ideal. The modern social construct yields little room for anything else. However, I don't believe it's conducive with natural humanistic behavior. Men, especially, are flooded by contradictory, fundamental hormonal motivation. I think it's fair to say, the body's chemistry has been less affected by influence of society than the established "norms" we perceive today have.

Many Eastern Philosophical teachings and more accessibly, books like "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle discuss detachment from the human form, the body and I see a connection between preoccupation with possessions, material goods and the concept of MY boyfriend, MY lover, MY partner. The concept of love and attachment are similarly connected with addictions. The world of human perception is tumultuous.

Though I realize and respect the value of integrity and promise in human relationships, I think monogamy will forever battle more natural human behavior.

Since my longest relationship lasted less than 3 years, I can't even say with any certainty that I will always be able to be monogamous. But I know that, so far, I've always been able to do it, and I know that when my heart has been with someone, my desire for sex with anyone else is practically non-existent.

Whatever influences nature and society have on us, we each deal with it in different ways, so I don't believe any "theory" or school of thought can be universally applied. Some of us want and will find partners for life, and some want and will find variety more appealing. Most, I would guess, probably find themselves struggling to some degree to figure out what works best for them.

I've been partnered with the same individual for 15+ years.

I've never cheated (physically or emotionally) and I never would.

My relationship is far too important to me to mess it up by cheating.

Yes there are guys who believe in monogamy

Are there any available? No they are all taken and in monogamous relationships, lol.

DJBens77> I am not really looking for monogamy. There will be a time that I do, but for now, I want to have fun.

The way you say that, one could almost think that monogamy and fun are mutually exclusive.

My partner (of 12 years) and I can sometimes be the "old married couple", but that doesn't mean we don't have "fun".

du_jock saidI have to rant here a bit because I found out that my best friend not only tried to hookup with me and his bf in a 3 way but when he was visiting out of town, messaged me to hookup without his bf's permission.

I just don't get it. it is so frustrating.

Are there any committment oriented, monogamous guys any more interesting in old fashioned dating??

Alright I'm just going to say it... No... the answer to your question, is NO.

Very interesting reads.

I toss my hat in the "YES" category and congratulate GeorgeE, Vik83 and others who have been in monogamous relationships for years. Congrats!! Sulithamm, Raptor, & DiverScience voices of reason and I agree with you. There are a lot of us "old-fashioned, monogamous, romantic, intimacy driven men out there. Unfortunately, we're always separated by distance, age, timing, or all the above.

Living here in SF, I've been where you are du_jock and it's not pretty. I also agree with the others that the crap about "not being natural for men to stay faithful" is ridiculous. It is indeed all about integrity and once you've made a promise, keeping it. Sure, there's a LOT of temptation out there but the desire to be with your man. Intimate with your man and truthful / honest to your man has got to be the first priority. I also have friends who are in open relationships. I don't judge. I know it's not something for me.

Bottom line. Your friend wasn't really being a friend and tried to take advantage of your relationship. He totally crossed the line and was very rude for even thinking you'd be a part of that scenario. * Bailiff, whack his pee-pee!!

There ARE men like us out here. We want monogamy & intimacy with our partners and not going to settle. Unfortunately, our "community" doesn't support that - even with the passing of gay marriages in some states. The term in and of itself implies you're going to be committed to ONE person. There are also not enough role models for us but they're definitely out there and like the cockroach (or perhaps Cher) we will persevere.

Hang in there du_jock & you other romantics. Our time will come. Keep the faith and hope alive!! For now, I think you have to talk to your "best friend" and remind him what it takes to stay that way. Good Luck!

me+relationship=completely and utterly monogamous

me+single= anything goes as long as it doesnt fuck up someone else's relationship

I believe in monogamy, and hope someday i have it.

I wholeheartedly believe in Monogomy, permiscuity is COMPLETLY IRRESPONSIBLE, esp when it involves lies, deciet, cheating, breaking hearts, STDS!!!!.....I have NO respect for sluts, and whores, bonobos...(for those who dont know what a bonobo is, it is a type of primate, wich spends its days and nights fucking, indiscriminatley)....probably the most oversexed animal on earth...but I would, sadly have to say that a bonobo comes second to LOTS of gay men today

I married my husband twice (once in Canada and once in California.) We are happily monogamous.

I believe in it & want it. It is hard to find a guy who also wants monogamy and is mutually attracted. I'm planning on relocating to an area with more social opportunities. No guarantee that will help, but it sure won't hurt.

Its because of these "bonobo cons" that I feel as though i will always have trouble trusting a man....

One is committed to both me long term husbands. yet I seek permission from no-one about anything. I am in a relationship[s], and not a dictatorship.

But then the foundasion of our love, is not sex, lust.

If there are guys out there who want to fuck every Tom, Dick, and Harry, go ahead!....its your life, health...just be honest to your significant..or(non significant other)....be a Man and be honest about your intentions, have some integrity....dont be a spinless, lying pussy

If you believe in Monogamy then good, do it. I know excessively many couples who talk about monogamy and tell everyone their are monogamous but are not. yet my spouse and I are judge for having an open relationship, yet we have b been together for 12 years, deeply in love, honest and open about what we do. We have a high level of intimacy that several of our "monogamous couples" lack.

I really dont understand the judgmental attitude nor the believe that we must build our relationships on the same horrible building blocks that st8 people use.

I personally support any couple who wants to be monogamous and only ask the same be giving my husband and me.

respect and trust, takes time to develop....and as far as I am concerned it is earned

"you want me to do things do you like the sun and the moon - idiot I don't have time.."



I think that too many say they want a relationship and just settle in till something "better" comes along. Convenience relationships no thx. There is a difference to being in love with the thought of loving someone and not being alone, than actually being in love. But I believe in monogamous relationships why bother looking around if you truly found what completes you.

Ive been monogmus in all my relationships the 10 guys I have been with 8 with in relationships.

The think i hear on here is that people treat it like its some wild idea its not.

Me and a guy dating. 100% one on one only.
Boyfrends 100% one on one.

I have had boyfriends cheat on me and out they go.

For me i dont understand it.

You have to communicate and talk not hide bull shit or small stuff.
If you want to try something you try it with eachother don tbe afraid to mix it up be adventuresome.

Do not forget that you may be boyfriends or even husbands to still go out on dates keep it fresh with sponeatily (sp). I mean its not hard.

Its effort on any relationship you have in your life it takes work and care and love. If you dont put that into it then it will never go well.

Most people go looking for it in the wrong places and force it in their lives with out really knowing themselves and who they are what they want and have little stablity in their lives.

Most people seem to be expecting that other person to fill the holes in their lifes and voids they have.

That person cant do that. You have to do that for yourself. They are part of your life and have their own life before you. They are joining you on this journey to share eachother and build on that.

They are not there to flip this boyfriend or curb apeal this boyfriend.

Teamwork.

I know I am jumping a lot but I could write a book about all the people whom I have talked to about relationship, issues, and stuff.

Be yourself. Be real. Expect what you put into them.

Every single relationship you have is a reflection of how you feel inside about you. You are a magnet attracting to you all things, via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings. Every relationship you have and every interaction with every person, is a reflection of your own thoughts and feelings in that very moment.

Focus on the wonderful things in every person. Look for only those things.

Do not blame or criticize anybody, ever.

Set an intention that you are going to see the best in everything and everyone.

Make your happiness the number one thing in your life. Happiness is an inside job.

Get your attention off those things in others that don't make you feel good.

Appreciate and love yourself in every moment you can.

Do not expect others to behave in a way you want, so you will be happy. Release yourself forevermore and know that you alone control your happiness and it is a choice, no matter what anyone else is doing.

Love and respect yourself completely.

Know that you are perfect right now.

sfinboston saidIf you believe in Monogamy then good, do it. I know excessively many couples who talk about monogamy and tell everyone their are monogamous but are not. yet my spouse and I are judge for having an open relationship, yet we have b been together for 12 years, deeply in love, honest and open about what we do. We have a high level of intimacy that several of our "monogamous couples" lack.

I really dont understand the judgmental attitude nor the believe that we must build our relationships on the same horrible building blocks that st8 people use.

I personally support any couple who wants to be monogamous and only ask the same be giving my husband and me.

I admire your honesty, and the level of respect, you have for your husband and your relationship.....high levels of intamacy and the depthness of love seems to be rare...I wish all of you lovers and wanten ones all the happiness and success, in general of course but in finding whatever makes you feel complete as far as Love is concerned

<----- raises hand.

<------------- Me, too.

I think it is hard to find someone that you actually want to be monogamous with. There are definitely some people that want and maintain these relationships, but there are a lot more people that CLAIM to want these relationships.

They exist though. It is just hard to find them because sluts have such... loud personalities.

I don't get open relationships..if others are happy doing it fine..but not for me. I prefer the "old fashioned" monogamous kind of relationship.

polobutt saidThis is right there along the same lines as my rant last week. I do not believe in open relationships and have no intention of ever being in one. If I have the need to fuck around all over the place, why would I want a partner. It's just too complicated.

I think that there are a lot more of us out there than you think.

Yup..exactly my views

YES you gotta be in it to win it!

Dont loose hope guy......we are alive and well !!!

yes there are I'm 26 and been searching for the same men my age usally just want the one nighter I on the other hand want that committed relationship where after you move in with each other you decide to have a wedding/holy union because you want to know he's legally supossed to wake up to you every morning sorry that your friend tried to pull one off on you! hope things look up for you! because I sure as hell keep hoping!

I know people in open relationships and others wanting exclusivity. I've always chosen monogamy. But I've seen open relationships work for many years. Individuals have to figure out what is right for them and act accordingly.

I just want one man. Is that too much to ask?

Am I the only one who's noticed Du Jock's odd resemblance to Michael Phelps?

I believe in monogamy and all. You're not alone du jock.

When I'm ready, I've got ways of keepin the guys off me. lol