Dealing with friends who hide cus their ugly

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2011 6:29 AM GMT
    Hi Guys (my first post lol)

    I've got guys who are either very masculine and wont mix with other men or say: "They are too ugly, no one speaks to me".

    Im kinda wondering how in the heck do i convince my so called "ugly" friend that either they arnt and to relax.

    Ive manged to get one on realjock and im not sure if thats the right move as i leave it open to people to comment or talk to him and if no one does , ill be a right fool!

    Just wondered how other people dealt with friends who said they are too ugly to go dating etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2011 6:33 AM GMT
    You can't fix their self-esteem, they have to do it themselves, I know I've had the same problem with some friends, but they never believe you when you tell them, you're NOT ugly, they think you just say it to make them feel better.
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    Sep 24, 2011 6:43 AM GMT
    Your friend might think he's ugly, but I'm sure there are plenty of other guys that find him attractive. It's like the old saying goes.. You are your own worst critic.

    And post a link to his profile. icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 24, 2011 6:49 AM GMT
    "The Self Talk Solution" by Shad Helmstetter.

    Also, they need to get humble and get real about their strengths and weaknesses. Humility is about knowing really what your have and have not.

    A trained therapist can help with this as well.
  • KnuxNole

    Posts: 219

    Sep 24, 2011 7:07 AM GMT
    I sorta feel this way at small bursts...mainly after venturing to a gay bar and seeing 95% cute/hot people. I guess I'm sorta relate to the guy OP is talking about :/
    Which is something that's not good, and improving, but do feel that "If i'm ugly, would gays be my 100% platonic/nonsexual friends?" Especially when gays talk about gay friends and sexual tension and I think "What if the guy isn't attractive? there wouldn't be sexual tension..."
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    Dec 28, 2011 3:58 AM GMT
    We are all ugly. Discovering the ugly that you find beautiful is what makes us human. The ones we all think are beautiful may be the only truly ugly ones. Unless they don't really believe they are beautiful. That is very beautiful.
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    Dec 28, 2011 4:31 AM GMT
    I can't imagne how emotionally draining it is to constantly try to encourge somones self esteem. Glad he has the support but it's something that he has to do himself. No matter what u say he needs to change his out look on his own. This site might stir up a pot of shit neither of u is ready for. icon_sad.gif
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    Dec 28, 2011 5:26 PM GMT
    If your friend uses RJ exclusively as a dating tool and he already has self esteem issues, this site is going to crush him. Some of the guys here get flooded with emails daily, they dont always have time to return emails. Plus there are thousands of other reasons why guys don't return emails (they're busy, they're lazy, they forgot, they're too far away, or they don't want to). The lack of response is going to drive your friend's self esteem straight into the gutter.

    Plus since this is a fitness focused site, good looks are pretty common around here. Looks is also one of the first things that gets brought up during a flame war. If he's not already comfortable with himself, he's gonna get shredded.

    Self esteem has to be fixed from the inside out. Have your friends volunteer for a good cause and measurable projects, ie building houses, soup kitchen... sense of accomplishment and pride do wonders for self esteem.
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    Dec 28, 2011 6:31 PM GMT
    Ugly friends? Were they being rude or something? I don't get it...
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Dec 28, 2011 6:40 PM GMT
    rmff saidHi Guys (my first post lol)

    I've got guys who are either very masculine and wont mix with other men or say: "They are too ugly, no one speaks to me".

    Im kinda wondering how in the heck do i convince my so called "ugly" friend that either they arnt and to relax.

    Ive manged to get one on realjock and im not sure if thats the right move as i leave it open to people to comment or talk to him and if no one does , ill be a right fool!

    Just wondered how other people dealt with friends who said they are too ugly to go dating etc.


    Maybe it's like that really old SNL skit about how to make yourself more attractive looking by having ugly friends, except in reverse.

    Maybe don't take your shirt off when you're around him?
  • Havenjock80

    Posts: 428

    Dec 28, 2011 6:43 PM GMT
    who is that ? your friend?
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    Dec 28, 2011 7:08 PM GMT


    "I've got guys who are either very masculine and wont mix with other men or say: "They are too ugly, no one speaks to me" "

    I'll admit this sentence threw me. Then I edited it to this,
    "I've got guys who are either very masculine and wont mix with other men or think themselves ugly and say, "no one speaks to me".

    You can be incredibly handsome and have the same issues of people not speaking to you as you may be appearing unapproachable.
    You can be plain looking and find that shallow people who go by looks alone won't speak with you.

    BUT
    You can be very plain looking and have a zillion friends because you appear approachable, and behave in approachable ways.

    It's not what you look like nearly as much as how you behave. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2011 7:10 PM GMT
    Move to the United States so I can fuck you sillier than you already are.

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    Feb 03, 2012 4:53 PM GMT
    I've often been attracted to a person whose appearance does not fit in what my friends might consider "hot". To each his own. Confidence is more attractive than pure physical form.

    ps THIS IS SPARTA!!!! 300th post....
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    Feb 03, 2012 4:55 PM GMT
    rmff saidHi Guys (my first post lol)

    I've got guys who are either very masculine and wont mix with other men or say: "They are too ugly, no one speaks to me".

    Im kinda wondering how in the heck do i convince my so called "ugly" friend that either they arnt and to relax.

    Ive manged to get one on realjock and im not sure if thats the right move as i leave it open to people to comment or talk to him and if no one does , ill be a right fool!

    Just wondered how other people dealt with friends who said they are too ugly to go dating etc.


    You're like, way pretty and stuff.
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    Feb 03, 2012 5:05 PM GMT
    I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm not going dating. Screw that, I want a drama-free life. When you date someone, you're basically taking a risk, more or less, for your feelings to be hurt.

    Why date someone, when you don't have to put up with some of that stuff? I mean, I guess if I had to date someone, it wouldn't be such a big deal. But, I enjoy being alone most of the time. I love the peace, the tranquility, the "feng shui." And, it could be because in the past I've had too many bad social interactions to not want to be around other people, but honestly I enjoy being by myself. I enjoy my exercising, I enjoy being me, and I'm not going to let some other person to get involved in my awesome lifestyle. So no, no dating for me.
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    Feb 03, 2012 5:14 PM GMT
    icon_rolleyes.gif sorry buddy but no matter what you do your friend is the only one who can fix it.
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    Feb 03, 2012 5:16 PM GMT
    Jaken saidI don't think I'm ugly, but I'm not going dating. Screw that, I want a drama-free life. When you date someone, you're basically taking a risk, more or less, for your feelings to be hurt.

    Why date someone, when you don't have to put up with some of that stuff? I mean, I guess if I had to date someone, it wouldn't be such a big deal. But, I enjoy being alone most of the time. I love the peace, the tranquility, the "feng shui." And, it could be because in the past I've had too many bad social interactions to not want to be around other people, but honestly I enjoy being by myself. I enjoy my exercising, I enjoy being me, and I'm not going to let some other person to get involved in my awesome lifestyle. So no, no dating for me.


    470419504_b3a7fe3139.jpg
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    Feb 03, 2012 5:20 PM GMT
    It's unfortunate that this will be your untimely end :/


    RumbleStud saidI've often been attracted to a person whose appearance does not fit in what my friends might consider "hot". To each his own. Confidence is more attractive than pure physical form.

    ps THIS IS SPARTA!!!! 300th post....
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    Feb 03, 2012 5:24 PM GMT
    i don't date lower life forms, like 999999999999999999.99 of the population is below meicon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 03, 2012 5:43 PM GMT
    xrichx saidYour friend might think he's ugly, but I'm sure there are plenty of other guys that find him attractive. It's like the old saying goes.. You are your own worst critic.

    And post a link to his profile. icon_wink.gif


    I think I'm ugly and still battle with my self-esteem, but oddly enough - there are people who talk to me on here. So tell him to relax, be himself, and give it a chance.
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    Feb 03, 2012 6:28 PM GMT
    I understand what the OP is taking about. I have a friend who is black and very overweight. He is probably at least 250-275 lbs. And he is always bitchin on Facebook that no one will ever have sex with him and he can never get a date. I tell him it's on in his personality but he just doesn't seem to take it to heart. There is only so much you can do before you get tired of it yourself. Gays are fickle people that's the truth, but not all. I'm sure there is someone for everyone out there....tell him that...icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 03, 2012 8:01 PM GMT
    KnuxNole saidI sorta feel this way at small bursts...mainly after venturing to a gay bar and seeing 95% cute/hot people. I guess I'm sorta relate to the guy OP is talking about :/
    Which is something that's not good, and improving, but do feel that "If i'm ugly, would gays be my 100% platonic/nonsexual friends?" Especially when gays talk about gay friends and sexual tension and I think "What if the guy isn't attractive? there wouldn't be sexual tension..."


    95% ... what bar are you going to? Thats an insanely high percentage..
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    Feb 04, 2012 3:41 AM GMT
    As I said before, guys that think they're ugly are just being harsh on themselves. If you refuse to believe that then..



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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2012 3:44 AM GMT
    Tell them you're glad they're ugly because you don't want them to be competition.