Wrong use of the word homophobia?

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    Sep 25, 2011 6:16 AM GMT
    I feel like the word homophobia is used incorrectly more often than not and I feel like people who actually get labeled as homophobes aren't actually afraid of all gay people. I feel like most people who get labeled as homophobic have an intense dislike for the flamboyant gay guys who act like Jack from Will and Grace. I noticed that no one has treated me differently since I came out and I also noticed that some people who are cool with me being gay often put down feminine gay guys. I feel like bullies would pick on and make fun of a straight guy that was overly feminine more than they would a gay guy who was jacked and masculine. I think they should create a new word that means "fear of feminine guys." There are plenty of masculine gay guys on here who don't care for feminine gay guys which is another reason why I think the word is used incorrectly.
  • offshore

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    Sep 25, 2011 6:30 AM GMT
    So a racist that is okay with light skin coloured black people but has an intense hate towards the dark skined ones is not a racist?
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:31 AM GMT
    offshore saidSo a racist that is okay with light skin coloured black people but has an intense hate towards the dark skined ones is not a racist?
    VERY well put! Kudos!
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:33 AM GMT
    I get the point that the OP is trying to make. Technically, most people labeled homophobes aren't actually afraid of gay people. They just don't like them. Bue we can't invent a word for each type of animosity towards gay people. Homophobes works fine as a catch-all term for anyone who has anything against any type of gay people.
  • dancedancekj

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    Sep 25, 2011 6:35 AM GMT
    joe122 said I feel like bullies would pick on and make fun of a straight guy that was overly feminine more than they would a gay guy who was jacked and masculine. I think they should create a new word that means "fear of feminine guys." There are plenty of masculine gay guys on here who don't care for feminine gay guys which is another reason why I think the word is used incorrectly.


    They already have a word for that: effemiphobia
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:36 AM GMT
    offshore saidSo a racist that is okay with light skin coloured black people but has an intense hate towards the dark skined ones is not a racist?

    That's a little different because there are different races and one person might be more racist to one race than another. Homosexual simply means attraction to the same sex and there aren't different types of homosexuality. As I mentioned in my post, I feel like an overly feminine straight guy would be bullied more than a masculine gay guy so I don't think homophobic is the proper word.
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:38 AM GMT
    dancedancekj said
    joe122 said I feel like bullies would pick on and make fun of a straight guy that was overly feminine more than they would a gay guy who was jacked and masculine. I think they should create a new word that means "fear of feminine guys." There are plenty of masculine gay guys on here who don't care for feminine gay guys which is another reason why I think the word is used incorrectly.


    They already have a word for that: effemiphobia

    I never heard of that, but if that's an actual word I think it should be used way more often than homophobia.
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:43 AM GMT
    joe122 said
    dancedancekj said
    joe122 said I feel like bullies would pick on and make fun of a straight guy that was overly feminine more than they would a gay guy who was jacked and masculine. I think they should create a new word that means "fear of feminine guys." There are plenty of masculine gay guys on here who don't care for feminine gay guys which is another reason why I think the word is used incorrectly.


    They already have a word for that: effemiphobia

    I never heard of that, but if that's an actual word I think it should be used way more often than homophobia.
    The "homosexual community" is diverse. The word homophobia is correct for the entire spectrum, not 'parts' of it.
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    Sep 25, 2011 7:10 AM GMT
    the word homophobia is, at best, an egregious neologism . . .

    . . . at most it describes a predisposition or a reflexive response by the untutored . . .

    . . . fear of sameness or same sexualed-ness would need to be intellectualized by dimwits for the term to have any cogency . .
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    Sep 25, 2011 7:11 AM GMT
    I think homophobia is quite a good word because it addresses the fear that results in hatred, disrespect and anger. Those feelings all come from an irrational fear of gay people.

    It's probably fair to say that more often than not, homophobia describes the internalised fear of being discovered as a homosexual themselves.

    Everyone's too caught up in themselves to care about gay people otherwise. I'd even hazard a guess that you're afraid of your own flamboyant behaviour.
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    Sep 25, 2011 7:18 AM GMT
    makeumyne saidI think homophobia is quite a good word because it addresses the fear that results in hatred, disrespect and anger. Those feelings all come from an irrational fear of gay people.

    It's probably fair to say that more often than not, homophobia describes the internalised fear of being discovered as a homosexual themselves.

    Everyone's too caught up in themselves to care about gay people otherwise. I'd even hazard a guess that you're afraid of your own flamboyant behaviour.

    Not really. When I dance I look very flamboyant and I have no problem with that. The only reason why I wouldn't want to be flamboyant all the time is because I don't think it's attractive, but I don't try to make myself more masculine than I really am either.
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    Sep 25, 2011 7:23 AM GMT
    Homophobia, racism, sexism etc are symptoms, of a single problem: "I have a problem with people who think/act differently than me". It is totally about judgement, values and comfort zones.

  • waccamatt

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    Sep 25, 2011 7:40 AM GMT
    "Heterosexism" is probably a more accurate term for discrimination/hatred towards gay people than is "homophobia", but the real problem I have with the OP's post is that he's willing to through effeminate gay men under the bus. The crux of our movement is or should be that we're fine just the way we are, whether we're sports-loving macho men or drag queens. If someone says it's ok to be a gay football player, but not a gay fashion designer then I think they're terribly misguided.
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    Sep 25, 2011 7:59 AM GMT
    Yeah, all my straight buds don't seam to care at all...till I talk about all the ass pounding I did this weekend when they're talking about all the pussy they ruined; all a sudden, they get all weird and shit..
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    Sep 25, 2011 8:01 AM GMT
    Sometimes people who call other people "homophobes, misogamists, racist etc." are actually just assholes. And people tend to not like assholes...
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    Sep 25, 2011 8:40 AM GMT
    I disagree. The prejudice is against HOMOSEXUALITY, same-sex love. They have a problem with men being together in a romantic/sexual relationship and a man being attracted to men. It doesn't matter how masculine you are, people who who hate gays will hate you, because the prejudice is NOT based on hatred against men who act femininely, it is based on hatred of a different form of sexuality. It's not like in some very homophobic places, you can be openly gay and accepted, only if you're masculine.icon_rolleyes.gif Homophobia doesn't work like that.
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    Sep 25, 2011 8:43 AM GMT
    offshore saidSo a racist that is okay with light skin coloured black people but has an intense hate towards the dark skined ones is not a racist?


    PERFECT!
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    Sep 25, 2011 9:36 AM GMT
    I think you are right, and it's all more reason to support effeminate guys.

    They are rejected by men unsecure about there masculinity/virility (in both straight and gay world).

    I would not feel happy at all if I was socially accepted 'under condition' that I comply to someone male stereotype.
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    Sep 25, 2011 9:48 AM GMT
    I think that the word 'homophobia' generally encompasses a feeling of ignorance and dislike for any member of the gay community.

    True, some people don't realize (again I say ignorant) that gay people come in all shapes and sizes like straight people, but it's wrong to segregate our community even more by trying to think of terms that mean 'hatred of straight acting gay people' versus 'hatred of feminine gay people'
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    Sep 25, 2011 9:49 AM GMT
    joe122 saidI feel like the word homophobia is used incorrectly more often than not and I feel like people who actually get labeled as homophobes aren't actually afraid of all gay people. I feel like most people who get labeled as homophobic have an intense dislike for the flamboyant gay guys who act like Jack from Will and Grace. I noticed that no one has treated me differently since I came out and I also noticed that some people who are cool with me being gay often put down feminine gay guys. I feel like bullies would pick on and make fun of a straight guy that was overly feminine more than they would a gay guy who was jacked and masculine. I think they should create a new word that means "fear of feminine guys." There are plenty of masculine gay guys on here who don't care for feminine gay guys which is another reason why I think the word is used incorrectly.


    I also think there is a HUGE difference between not caring for, not liking, compared to being actively against in behavior and action.
    I don't care for being forced to act in a stereotypical manner being straight, gay, normal, or what ever. If someone does something I don't care for I'm not going to insult them and demean their sense of well being or self esteem in order to represent "me".

    I agree with the surface point here if it is used correctly. I also see that this could be used as a weapon against the life style some don't identify with (which is fare), but another percentage work actively against for the pure sake of conformity or fear based hate.

    I see the constructive usefulness with the idea, but it has to simultaneously not divide us to the point that gives cause for more negative conformity and hate. I would rather it not be a surreptitious approach to disarming an obvious act of harmful prejudice, as homophobia is just that, harmful prejudice.

    At times a straight person will seem like they are fine with it, but some individuals will eventually betray you with a passive aggressive approach to weasel out of the dreaded "Homophobia" allowing them to continue their negative actions.


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    Sep 25, 2011 9:50 AM GMT
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    Sep 25, 2011 9:54 AM GMT
    C_J35 saidchildren.jpg">


    ROFLMFBAO!!!!!!!icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 25, 2011 9:57 AM GMT
    I do not think there is much doubt about the common meaning of the word. It is used to identify those with an irrational disliking for homosexuals and homosexuality. I doubt that bigots are interested in the finer points of homosexual behaviour or character: They simply hate the lot of us.
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    Sep 25, 2011 9:57 AM GMT
    offshore saidSo a racist that is okay with light skin coloured black people but has an intense hate towards the dark skined ones is not a racist?


    omg I love analogies, and that one made me leak in my pants.

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    Sep 25, 2011 10:05 AM GMT
    Mil8 saidI do not think there is much doubt about the common meaning of the word. It is used to identify those with an irrational disliking for homosexuals and homosexuality. I doubt that bigots are interested in the finer points of homosexual behaviour or character: They simply hate the lot of us.


    Yep, pretty much.