Am i the only person who falls for someone too fast?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2011 10:42 AM GMT
    Maybe i should just chill? idk anyone else like that

    this song is the story of my life

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    Sep 25, 2011 11:02 AM GMT
    "Falls too fast" implies this is a regular thing... How often and how fast do you "fall"?
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    Sep 25, 2011 1:23 PM GMT
    definitely not. if you're highly emotional, it almost makes sense that you would.

    however, i am not one of those people.
  • Diceroll

    Posts: 224

    Sep 25, 2011 1:46 PM GMT
    In my experience you can't help how hard or fast you fall for someone, but you can control how you act on it.

    I've fallen hard for people very early on before (when I was younger at least) and seriously regretted not waiting to see what they were really like before getting involved with them.
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    Sep 25, 2011 1:57 PM GMT
    I like it when they fall fast....to their knees to please icon_lol.gif

    Seriously, this just means you are wearing your heart on your sleeves a little much. People who falls fast often tend to be clingy and emotionally dependent of others. Not good for you.

    Just ease into the situation and ask yourself if it's worth exerting all that energy into someone who's not gonna give it back and is probably a little freaked by that kind of action.
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    Sep 25, 2011 2:02 PM GMT
    It's easy to fall for someone in a hurry, especially if you live somewherre where you don't run into a lot of openly guys. But it's best to manage your actions util you have a better sense of what you are getting into, particularly if yu haven't dated much before. Lots of deception and duplicity out there.
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    Sep 25, 2011 2:12 PM GMT
    "Am i the only person who falls for someone too fast?"

    No, not at all; you are one of millions that do it. Bill and both did it as well in our single years. As others have said, you learn how to react to it when it happens. icon_wink.gif

    Joni wrote and sang about it long ago...




    Help me
    I think I’m falling
    In love again
    When I get that crazy feeling, I know
    I’m in trouble again
    I’m in trouble
    ’cause you’re a rambler and a gambler
    And a sweet-taiking-ladies man
    And you love your lovin’
    But not like you love your freedom

    Help me
    I think I’m falling
    In love too fast
    It’s got me hoping for the future
    And worrying about the past
    ’cause I’ve seen some hot hot blazes
    Come down to smoke and ash
    We love our lovin’
    But not like we love our freedom


    Didn’t it feel good
    We were sitting there talking
    Or lying there not talking
    Didn’t it feel good
    You dance with the lady
    With the hole in her stocking
    Didn’t it feel good
    Didn’t it feel good

    Help me
    I think I’m falling
    In love with you
    Are you going to let me go there by myself
    That’s such a lonely thing to do
    Both of us flirting around
    Flirting and flirting
    Hurting too
    We love our lovin’
    But not like we love our freedom
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    Sep 25, 2011 2:47 PM GMT
    You definitely aren't the only one. I've fallen too fast for some guys before. I think what Dice said makes sense. If you are highly emotional and get easily attached to guys, you can't always control that, but you can control how you act on it.

    If you really like the guy you have to give him his space at the beginning and not be clingy. There is the possibility that he is feeling the same way, but give him time to get to know you and like you!
  • He_Man

    Posts: 906

    Sep 25, 2011 3:03 PM GMT
    Oh, the story of my life. I'm one of those emotional types, so, yes, I "fall" really fast. If you are decent looking and you show me interest, then I'll fall for you. Sad, I know.

    The trick, like others have said, is not to scare him off because of your clinginess or neediness. It hurts when you really like someone and they don't reciprocate your feelings immediately. You just have to give it some time and allow the other person to catch up, so to speak.

    I've ended beautiful friendships because I didn't feel like the other guy liked me as much as I liked him, so take it from me, let the relationship blossom on its own and don't rush things because you'll only get hurt and end up alone.

    Best of luck icon_smile.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Sep 25, 2011 3:21 PM GMT
    I used to, but not anymore. When I meet a guy it usually takes me 6 months to a year to actually " fall" for him. icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 25, 2011 3:31 PM GMT
    Hey, I definitely know what you mean! There's one guy I fell head over heals for after just three days with him! Maybe it was just lust, but it was definitely something strong.
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    Sep 25, 2011 3:57 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidI like it when they fall fast....to their knees to please icon_lol.gif

    Seriously, this just means you are wearing your heart on your sleeves a little much. People who falls fast often tend to be clingy and emotionally dependent of others. Not good for you.

    Just ease into the situation and ask yourself if it's worth exerting all that energy into someone who gonna give it back and is probably a little freaked by that kind of action.


    I like this response.

    Also, you should know how to protect yourself emotionally. Learn how to monitor your emotions and learn about the shit that goes on in the gay world.

    When bad shit happens, just go "meh".
    When bad shit didn't happen to you, be really grateful.
    When good things happen to you, make sure that you pinch yourself to see if you are dreaming for not.
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    Sep 25, 2011 3:58 PM GMT
    I fell really hard and fast for one guy who had some pretty great moves and charmed the hell out of me. He was, however, like that with just about all the guys he met. I ran, went on a brief vacation to try shake him out of my mind, and on the flight back...

    Another song from Joni but sung by Nazareth



    Look out the left the captain said
    The lights down there that's where we'll land
    Saw a falling star burning
    High above the Las Vegas sand

    It wasn't the one that you gave to me
    That night down south between the trailers
    Not the early one that you wish upon
    Not the northern one that guides in the sailors

    You've got that touch so gentle and sweet
    But you've got that look so critical
    Can't talk to you babe you know I get so weak
    Sometimes I think that love is just mythical

    Up there's a heaven, down there's a town
    Blackness everywhere any little lights shine
    Blackness, blackness draggin' me down
    Come on light a candle in this heart of mine

    Starbright, starbright, you've got the lovin' that I like
    Turn this crazy bird around
    Should not have got on this flight tonight

    I'm drinkin' sweet champagne got the headphones up high
    Can't numb you, can't drum you out of my mind

    They're singin'-"Goodbye baby,
    Baby bye-bye,
    Ooh! love is blind"

    Up go the flaps,down go the wheels
    Hope you got your heat turned on baby
    Hope they've finally fixed your automobile
    Hope it's better when we meet again babe.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2011 4:01 PM GMT
    The more people you meet, the less likely you'll be easily impressed with any of them.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Sep 25, 2011 4:22 PM GMT
    I know what you mean, I fell hard for this guy named Nate, but he left me with a broken heart...and the clap.
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    Sep 25, 2011 5:03 PM GMT
    You're definitely not the only one. I have the opposite problem, though, in that I don't typically "fall" for guys. I feel "man, I'd like to mess around with him" for some guys and "I'd like to hang out with him but not hook up" with other guys.

    I think it's important to figure out what falling really means for you (what in you is drawn to this guy or that guy). I'd be willing to bet that if you mapped out your needs and then investigated why you have those needs, you'd be able to predict/control and even prevent some of your falls. You might find that you're not falling for the guy, you're just really drawn to a couple of his traits that align with your needs.

    Sometimes a person's appeal is that they are unique and an escape to your current life. Other times, it's their confidence. Or maybe it's their ability to understand you. Or maybe they are just really, really attractive. If you figure out your needs, you can find sustainable ways to have those needs met outside of guy and reserve your emotions/turn-on's for guys who are truly a match. You might also be able to retain some friendships from potentially damaging falls. My take.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2011 5:22 PM GMT
    I used to do that for I always believe the best in people. Got hurt and realized my mistake and now I keep myself protected until am sure the other guy deserves my true feelings.
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:21 PM GMT
    I made the choice to start feeling for someone not too long ago and got burned...



    But it taught me a very, very, very valuable lesson. See, this whole time I was using my logic and rationality (my head) to assess the situation and meticulously form a plan of action to "fall" for that person. I thought that if I kept my heart in reserve until I felt that it was safe for me to lower the fortifications of my emotions I would be released from the anxiety of potential heartbreak. Eh, I found myself wanting to absquatulate time and time again because of it. I never really found an appropriate time to let the walls down.

    That plan was inherently faulty and hollow. I spent an enormous amount of time ensnared by the roots of insecurity and fear that I lost sight of how to let love in. I didn't listen to things with my heart anymore. I attempted, however foolish this may sound, to apply different techniques or reasons for why falling for a person was extremely inappropriate, useless, and confounded (I use that word euphemistically lol). I was left in the dark, alone, with the echoes of my past haunting me and telling me that it was acceptable to confine myself to such a selfish way to live.

    For me- I cannot speak for anyone else here- I never found an appropriate time to invariably know when. I only found the very moment of how. I suppose this is another part of growing up. Heh. I'll find my way.
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:26 PM GMT
    Oh I fall head over heels with someone from a well-written profile. Ha ha. I'm a hopeless romantic and/or boy crazy. Not sure which.
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:34 PM GMT
    @soulasphyxi: I have a quote for you from Nietzsche:

    "That which does not kill you makes you stronger."

    You'll be alright.



    someguy saidOh I fall head over heels with someone from a well-written profile. Ha ha. I'm a hopeless romantic and/or boy crazy. Not sure which.


    Aww...! I find that adorable. Just please don't hurt yourself; I'd hate to see that happen. icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:38 PM GMT
    Thanks CityAznGuy. I've learned to temper my excitement because sadly there are a lot of rude, inconsiderate, tactless people out there. icon_cry.gif
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:44 PM GMT
    someguy saidThanks CityAznGuy. I've learned to temper my excitement because sadly there are a lot of rude, inconsiderate, tactless people out there. icon_cry.gif

    We have the same symptoms and the same "disorder" J! Good to know I'm not the only one. lmao.

    Aww don't cry; that makes me sad too. *sad face*
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Sep 25, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    If we were purely logical beings, we wouldn't have things like heartbreak or falling too fast for someone else. I mean that for both parties too - falling too fast simply means the other person isn't falling for you quickly enough icon_razz.gif

    I don't fall too often, but when I fall, I fall for them HARD. Facefirst on the pavement.

    It allegedly has to do with the neurotransmitter makeup of my brain. When we first fall in love, there are three players: adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin.
    Adrenaline is pretty straightforward
    Dopamine gives us a rush of pleasure, similar to a narcotic pleasure
    Serotonin levels drop, leaving us with a brain makeup similar to someone with OCD (which is why you can't stop thinking about them. Falling in love is a mental disorder!)

    I imagine if I were able to measure the levels in my brain when I first fall in love, my serotonin levels would be lower, and my dopamine levels would be higher than the norm.

    Knowing this, I keep myself from falling too hard by being very cautious. If I can prevent the rush from dopamine or serotonin from hitting me too hard initially, then I'll be alright. Easier said than done of course, and there have been several times in the last couple years that I have been really caught off guard.
  • nomadfornow

    Posts: 1069

    Sep 25, 2011 6:58 PM GMT
    Oh yes... I know the feeling very well.
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:59 PM GMT
    Use to..Not any more..I'm more cynical when it comes to love....Just a bunch of chemical inducements anyhow.