Keep from getting self-absorbed

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    Sep 25, 2011 12:16 PM GMT
    Is there any one thing or a number of things you do to keep from getting too self absorbed?
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    Sep 25, 2011 2:26 PM GMT
    Always remember that everyone gets old, develops wrinkles, becomes fat or loose, and dies ugly. Gay guys, regardless of how hot they are now, are no exception.
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    Sep 25, 2011 3:19 PM GMT
    I'm not doing it (to many excuses) but volunteering your time is the best thing to keep your life in perspective.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 25, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    bhp91126 saidI'm not doing it (to many excuses) but volunteering your time is the best thing to keep your life in perspective.


    Absolutely, definitely a plus.. also a illness or accident puts things in perspective real fast. After a 10 day stint in the hospital last fall made me realize how very lucky I am (and shouldn't forget it!)
  • trainhard2011

    Posts: 231

    Sep 25, 2011 3:25 PM GMT
    Ageing.
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    Sep 25, 2011 3:29 PM GMT
    The second I think I look hot I go to a gay bar and get a reality check.
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    Sep 25, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    Volunteer/community service. Not bullshit like giving money to the United Way or walking in a 5K. I mean actually doing something about it, getting your hands dirty.

    I always have to throw myself into that when my small problems seem insurmountable yet the only thing in front of my face. Then I meet someone actually homeless (not just close to it) and no support system and HIV+ ... and my problems become insignificant again.
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    Sep 25, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    Since the repeated theme of most responses thus far is along the lines of "you will turn into a withered Dino$aur troll beast and die foreveralone in a nursing home in a puddle of your own urine while being made fun of by younger (hot?) guys"...

    ...something a little more uplifting:

    Invest yourself in the growth of others. The rate of return might be pleasantly surprising.
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    Sep 25, 2011 4:34 PM GMT
    A lot of suggestions here about finding ways to selflessly serve others. It works.

    Another way is to concentrate on being friendly to everyone. If a fellow hits on you, for example, get into a good conversation. Doesn't mean you have to say yes to his proposition, just remember he's a human being and even a friendly conversation will make him happier. You might even learn something.

    A guy who's too self-absorbed just kind of walks away and ignores his 'lessers.'
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    Sep 25, 2011 4:39 PM GMT
    I would say meditation & keeping a open mind in life ..
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    Sep 25, 2011 5:21 PM GMT
    I get really self absorbed in my music, so I just listen to a ton of professional musicians. It's really humbling to hear the difference between them and me, and it makes me realize how far I still have to go if I wanna make it big.
  • Diceroll

    Posts: 224

    Sep 25, 2011 5:29 PM GMT
    heybreaux saidHave some one who has the skill set put you in your place. icon_eek.gificon_biggrin.gif



    This - I love being that person icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 25, 2011 5:56 PM GMT
    Yes. Think about how others feel. Before you say or do something ask yourself, "Who benefits from this?" Find ways to connect with people, make it your goal to find what you have in common. I will offer that it is really easy to not be self-absorbed. So don't try to think about other people. Think about other people.

    In the words of Yoda: "Do, or Do Not. There is no try"
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:18 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Dallasfan824 saidThe second I think I look hot I go to a gay bar and get a reality check.
    icon_mad.gif

    I do nothing to prevent myself from getting self-absorbed. I need that ridiculous amount of confidence to be successful. Yes, I help people, but that honestly just inflates my ego.


    Interesting point.

    If you are doing ANYTHING specifically to be "less self-absorbed" - isn't it then rather self absorbed?

    Not in a bad way - but none-the-less self-absorbed?
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Sep 25, 2011 6:19 PM GMT
    lifeismusic saidI get really self absorbed in my music, so I just listen to a ton of professional musicians. It's really humbling to hear the difference between them and me, and it makes me realize how far I still have to go if I wanna make it big.


    Agreed. Reading about, listening to, and seeing and analyzing the work (written, painted, performed, created) of many people keeps me very humble about my meager accomplishments.

    Also agree about reaching out. I look to those who inspire me, and give back to those that I inspire and am a role model for.

    It's also helpful to take a look back and remember that I too was once a stupid 18 year old who made very bad decisions, was kind of socially awkward, and had a lot to learn. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:30 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Cash said
    Trollileo said
    Dallasfan824 saidThe second I think I look hot I go to a gay bar and get a reality check.
    icon_mad.gif

    I do nothing to prevent myself from getting self-absorbed. I need that ridiculous amount of confidence to be successful. Yes, I help people, but that honestly just inflates my ego.


    Interesting point.

    If you are doing ANYTHING specifically to be "less self-absorbed" - isn't it then rather self absorbed?

    Not in a bad way - but none-the-less self-absorbed?
    It's just the same as Boy Scouts. I did community service only to get an award that would look good on resumes.


    That and the all-nude camping trips.
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:33 PM GMT
    Personally when I'm staring at myself in the mirror I try to think about ways I can use my beauty, talents and general awesomeness to help others. I think about all the little people who can benefit from the greatness of my life and how beautiful a person I am for even thinking about those lesser people.

    It really keeps me humble.
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:42 PM GMT
    I always remember that there will be somebody who is bigger, stronger, and smarter .
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    Sep 25, 2011 6:46 PM GMT
    CuriousOne saidI always remember that there will be somebody who is bigger, stronger, and smarter .


    I definitely agree. The bigger and stronger guys at my gym are reminders of how far I have to go to reach my goals and that there's always someone bigger, or stronger, or smarter, etc.