Not a fan of penetrative sex

  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Sep 25, 2011 9:25 PM GMT
    As I've explored my sexuality since I came out a couple years ago, I've realized I really do not find penetrative sex interesting nor enjoyable. Instead, I've found non-penetrative sex a lot more enjoyable and arousing, IE mutual masturbation and frottage.

    I bring this up because there is a very active portray of gay male sexuality as being primarily anal sex. This portrayal often makes one feel rather alone within an already alienated minority.

    Thoughts and perspectives are welcome.

    Edit: to add to the conversation: for some gay men, no anal sex = a deal breaker for them in a relationship. As many guys on this site know, it's hard enough finding someone your type (let alone they have to reciprocate those feelings) in a demographic that is already rather spread out if you don't live in a gay-hub area. And for many, uprooting oneself in order to move to those areas to increase the dating pool is not possible: IE school, employment, etc.
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    Sep 25, 2011 9:42 PM GMT
    just do w/e the fuck u want 2. sorry, don't really see a prob here. is there more?
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Sep 25, 2011 9:42 PM GMT
    Devinci saidThe rule is easy: respect yourself and do only what you are comfortable to do. You don't have to have anal sex if you don't enjoy it.

    Of course, that goes without saying.
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Sep 25, 2011 9:44 PM GMT
    tailgater_3 saidjust do w/e the fuck u want 2. sorry, don't really see a prob here. is there more?

    Was looking for perhaps references to similar thinking groups of individuals and an active dialogue on the topic of alternative sexual identities.

    Unless I'm mistaken, the meaning of the word forum: a meeting place for open discussion.
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Sep 25, 2011 10:04 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidThere's no "right" or "wrong" way to be gay. There's not even a right or wrong way to be straight: some guys want their women to strap on a dildo and peg them all night.

    I've abstained from all sex for quite a while and still always identified as gay. Best part of laying with a guy is laying with a guy (cuddling) as far as I'm concerned....that's the one thing I can't really do myself, lol.

    Anyway, not weird....much like the "letter to the editor" theory: if you're thinking it, there's 50,000 other people who are thinking the same thing (sorry...you're not that original, lol. icon_lol.gif ) Go find one of the guys who thinks exactly like you do...that guy is also weirded out that in a relationship he's going to feel pressured into anal sex he doesn't want. He'll be thrilled and relieved to find someone like you who, like him, doesn't need or really want penetration.

    Ah but that's the thing, now gotta find him icon_wink.gif simpler said than done. Hard enough finding gay men that's my type, let alone someone who shares similar sexual preferences.

    Never said this was original, IE I know Paulflexes has voiced a similar sexual identity as me on more than one occasion on the forums. The point I'm making is that of portrayal and statistics; using your number as a hypothetical: 50,000 out of a population of hundreds of millions is a sub-1% population to work with spread out over a very large area.

    So globally or even state-wide you may not be alone, but locally you are amongst just a handful or fewer.