I just found out I'm gay. I feel almost reborn and need some advice please.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2011 6:32 AM GMT
    Hey all! My name is Josh and I am 19 years old. I've always kind of noticed that I was never really attracted to girls. I never really though much of it and just thought I was too pre-occupied with other activities to even care.

    To make a long story short... I've almost confirmed that I am a gay kid in Alabama in the past week. To be honest the realization has been frightening for me. I never pictured myself this way, and know that I can never tell anyone: not for a long time anyway>

    To make matters even worse for me... I am not just attracted to any men, but older men. I'm not sure what criteria they have to meet just yet but they have to be older from what I notice (like 40-50ish). I know all of this shouldn't make me ashamed but it does.

    I finally signed up on a gay dating website to see what was out there. A ton of older people found me and sent me a lot of messages. Some were very polite, some explained they just wanted to screw me and go, and some were downright weird! I met one man who seemed very polite and we seemed to kick things off just right.

    That night I added him on FB, we got into a skype webcam chat, and just talked. He was very friendly and explained things to me about being gay (terms, how it was growing up for him, ect, ect). He only mentioned a couple of times that I looked very sexy and he would be honored to take my virginity (Yes, I'm a virgin).

    Here's where the issues come in with me. I am 19, have nearly no dating experience, and just realized I am gay. I spent all day at work so depressed and ashamed of myself. It's almost like I can't come to terms with who I am as a person yet, and that's something I'm not used to. I've always been so comfortable inside my skin but now that I finally admit to myself that I am attracted to the same sex I feel all sick inside>

    Sorry if this sounds pathetic, friends. I just thought I would share what's going on and see if you could offer any advice to me. I'm just going to take things slow, let the feelings sink in, and see where I go from there. Any advice you can give to someone who has just realized he's gay?

    ***Here's some additional questions that crossed my mind***
    1.) Does anl sex hurt on the receiving end? It seems like it would :
    2.) When did you find out you were gay and how did you react?
    3.) I'm really starting to have feelings for someone I think and honestly it's pretty scary to me haha! I honestly have no relationship experience and have only kissed a couple of times! For someone who is new to relationships what should I do? So far I am just being myself icon_smile.gif
  • leftysj

    Posts: 7

    Sep 26, 2011 12:31 PM GMT
    First, good luck on your voyage of self-discovery! I'm not sure any of us makes it through that without some bruises, but that's life, eh?

    All relationships, sexual or otherwise, involve taking risks. The best advice I can offer you at this stage is to learn what the potential risks are, and minimize your chance of getting hurt (there will always be a chance, but being smart about it can help keep the fallout to a minimum if things go wrong). Educate yourself about safer sex... there is a TON of readily available information out there. Know also that older men and younger men are at equal risk for treating you in a less than optimal way. Some will just want a romp; others will really want to date you. Know what YOU want, and try to be clear about it from the beginning. Stick to what's comfortable for you (which will certainly change over time), and you'll be doing yourself good.

    As for your specific questions:

    1) Yes, there is a level of discomfort with receptive anal sex, especially the first few times. Use protection! :-)
    2) In retrospect, I always knew I was gay. The hard part was admitting it to others. Having a supportive online community was very helpful to me. It also didn't hurt that I live within an hour of San Francisco, and therefore had substantial less in the way of physical risk. I'm now out in all situations, though (work and community), and even took my husband to my 25th high school reunion on Saturday. Once you start to make some social connections, you'll realize that your struggle has a lot in common with others who have gone through the coming out process (even if only coming out to yourself).
    3) It's a bit early to be talking about feelings with this guy, especially if you haven't met in person. Consider meeting first in a public place where you feel safe (coffee shop, or whatever), and just do what you're doing: be yourself! Meeting genuine people is a turn on, no matter what the age!

    Again, best of luck to you!
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    Sep 26, 2011 12:38 PM GMT
    Well u gonna feel sick for an interval of time .. but then u gonna get used to it ...
    u might suffer a bit from the community .. if they hate gays


    1) Yeah 1st time gonna be pain in ass but later u gonna feel good .. and that gonna happen for several times till u got ur hole stretched ;o

    2) well i was attracted to men .. since i was 13 but i denied myself .. and lived on ... till like 1 year ago .. convinced myself that am gay

    3) before u get involved with a relationship make sure he is good to u .. so u don't get u heart broken icon_smile.gif


    GLGLGL!!
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    Sep 26, 2011 12:46 PM GMT
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  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 26, 2011 12:48 PM GMT
    Well I hope as time goes on, you begin to get more comfortable with who you are and how you fit into it! Congrats for approaching it slowly and with forethought. A couple of things:

    Don't ever (EVER) be ashamed of yourself. You sound like a great guy and just want to fit in .. in a reasonable way. Take some time and get atuned to things like HIV and other std's. Clearly understand things like safe sex and what you should and should not do.

    Also think about safe practices with meeting guys you don't know. Don't put yourself at risk. Make sure you know who your seeing, meet those guys with whom you've been chatting in public. Basically, always think
    about what you are doing here.... make sure to always be responsible.

    Try and develop some gay friends, some your own age and learn to trust
    and have some fun. Doing things socially and meeting others is a part of acceptance and take some time and learn some of those gay men who
    are in the public eye.... are successful... and happy!


    As far as your questions... I've probably known since 7th grade, but it wasn't until I was in my early 30's that I really accepted my sexuality.... not that I wasn't happy in my 20's, I was so busy with my education and activities, I just "shelved" this until I really wanted to deal with it. It's awesome. The biggest concern is that you be happy in your life.... and I certainly wish you that!

  • Sep 26, 2011 1:01 PM GMT
    Hi Josh. Your radical self honesty is wonderful. The level of self understanding you already demonstrate and your sincere articulation of where you are at is a great sign that you are handling all this well.

    It's all new to you, and so there will be mixed and confused emotions about everything. Shame or embarrassment because of your social, cultural, or religious background is normal. It WILL fade as you become more comfortable with who you are and understand better that you are not alone. Your participation in healthy sites and forums like this one will be a great comfort and will bring the experience and support of those of us who have traveled the path before you.

    As you meet men and begin to have varying levels of relationships and intimacy you will come to know yourself even better. There are some very good men out there, and some who are not. You will encounter both. Don't judge the whole ocean by one or two bad fish.

    You have already asked yourself "what/who am I attracted to" and answered : men, older men I think. Excellent. You've accepted that fact, posted a humble request on RJ, and are beginning to field possible encounters with guys. Online is pretty safe. Real encounters will require more prudence. You have a good head on your shoulders and seem discerning in your contact. You don't have to chat or meet with everyone you discover online. If something doesn't feel right, move on, there are plenty more.

    You don't have to "solve" the gay situation in a week. This is a lifelong journey and you have just pulled out of the port. Enjoy the trip. Ask questions, like you are now. Don't be afraid to be yourself. That's what will help you the most.

    I only came out to myself when I was in my early 20's in grad school, but I should have known around the age of 12. It was very obvious. But once I answered that question, What/who are you attracted to? and I answered it honestly, I felt so much better and was able to really be myself.

    Having one or two gay guys you can really trust, who have some experience and who are looking out for your best interests -- who can be your friends and mentors is one of the best ways to navigate the seemingly turbulent waters of the next few months. There are many on this site who would be happy to take you under their wing as their little brother. I, for one, would be happy to help anytime. Among the many hats I wear, I am a professional counselor and national speaker on human relationships, love, and relational development.

    Thanks for sharing your own struggles here. That was brave. And it will bring you many good fruits. Life gets really fun from here on out.

    Hope you have a great week!
  • kuroshiro

    Posts: 786

    Sep 26, 2011 1:03 PM GMT
    If he said he was honored to take your virginity, this should be your first indication to move on to someone else. If an someone truly cares about you then sex will come naturally without mention, at least in my opinion. I'd be cautious in this situation... he may appear all nice but is more than likely just going to screw you and toss you aside.

    Personally, I think it's best that you not meet anyone just yet... for dating or for sex. You need to find yourself first and be confident in who you are as an individual before you go jumping into something like this... you'll just end up hurt if you aren't prepared.

    We're here to help as best we can. Here's to hoping you start yourself on the right path =)
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    Sep 26, 2011 1:07 PM GMT
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    Welcome to the club!

    Excellent advice in HndsmKansan and Joseph_Anam_C posts.

    Like anyone else, straight or gay, you need to realize you're only 19 so take your time and get to know yourself.

    The community is very diverse so explore a bit to see what it has to offer. Take a look on your local LGBT community center website to find organizations or events where you can meet other guys.


    1) There is some initial discomfort, but with the right guy it can be very pleasurable. He will need to work you slowly to relax you and take you on a journey. If he just rams it in and goes to town, you're in trouble.

    2) I was 18 and I was very happy that I came to the realization. It answered a lot of questions for me. However, my girlfriend at the time would not believe it. icon_rolleyes.gif

    3)This is a tough one. No one can tell you how your heart will react. However, it is really important not to rush into things. You are still young and there is a great deal you need to learn about the community and yourself.

    ALWAYS HAVE SAFE SEXicon_exclaim.gificon_exclaim.gificon_exclaim.gif

    Good-luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2011 1:22 PM GMT
    I'm sure it seems to you like you're all fucked up, but I got to tell you that you sound like you really got your shit together for someone who's just coming to terms with their sexuality. There are tons of men in their 50's, 60's and even 70's who haven't come as far as you've come. Many men have repressed their true selves to the point of marrying a woman, having children and living a lie their entire lives. So pat yourself on the back for handling this so well!

    There are many positive things about being gay that you probably won't recognize right away. Most people go through life being force fed all their ideas and beliefs about the world, but when you're gay, you're forced to think for yourself and this can open up the world to you in ways that would not have been possible otherwise. I firmly believe this is why gay men are known for being more creative. We're also forced to question things such as the religion that was spoon fed to us as children, and being from Alabama I'm guessing this is where your shame comes from. Just make sure you use that same questioning when you approach the gay community, as it can be as cliquish as the straight world.

    As far as pursuing sex, only you can know when you're ready. I personally would suggest holding off on sex for a while. Allow yourself time to process this before jumping into sex or serious relationships. You can have your heart broken just as easily by a man as a girl, so proceed with caution.

    Speaking of sex....how much do you know about HIV transmission? Anal sex whether it be between two men or a man and woman, is the most dangerous sex you can have. It can be safe if you use condoms and the right kind of lube. Please educate yourself before even thinking about having sex. And do not trust anyone who tells you they're "clean" or "negative." Guys will say anything to get their rocks off.
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    Sep 26, 2011 1:41 PM GMT
    Congratulations on your discovery. Please don't be ashamed of who you are. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you or your sexuality.

    Take it slow. There's nothing wrong with getting to know someone really well before a relationship goes further. There are also a lot of guys who don't like to give or receive anal sex. Do only what you feel comfortable doing. It's your body.

    Many people are attracted to older guys, in part because of the maturity that comes with age. That being said, there are a lot of immature older guys and mature younger ones too. Sometimes you see a picture of someone and are attracted to them but then when you meet them in person, you're not. Again, take it slow.

    Your hormones are no doubt in full gear now, probably for the first time. That's how it was for me. Relax and enjoy your future. Above all, be safe.
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    Sep 26, 2011 1:56 PM GMT
    19_for_older saidI spent all day at work so depressed and ashamed of myself. It's almost like I can't come to terms with who I am as a person yet, and that's something I'm not used to. I've always been so comfortable inside my skin but now that I finally admit to myself that I am attracted to the same sex I feel all sick inside...

    It's for situations such as yours that we have the gay pride movement. Not just to show off our glitter & glam, as some think, but to promote self-esteem & confidence, and build support networks.

    I felt like you, too, when I first came out. For a couple of hours only. Until I realized this explained all the puzzles & questions about my life, that I'd never been able to solve before. I'm happier understanding myself than being in the dark. And starting from the premise that I'm a decent guy, being gay is a welcome part of who I am. And since I can't change it, I decided to live with it happily ever after.

    You may be right to keep this to yourself for a while, especially in parts of Alabama (where I lived for 2 years). And don't rush to date right away or have sex, just sit back and learn for a while.

    One of the things you need to learn, for instance, is that not all gay men have anal sex. Nor is anal sex the defining characteristic of being gay, a kind of initiation or rite of passage you have to experience to be admitted to the club. Lots of gay men just do oral, and other things. And as mentioned above, learn all you can, a lot of it available online, about HIV and STD transmission. If you don't know that, then you ain't ready for primetime yet.

    As for older men, that might be a father image thing going on, not half as important as that you like men, and not women. Some younger gay men your age tend to be flakes, while much older men can be predatory. Like Goldilocks, you might be best with ones in the middle, mid-20s to early 30s guys with experience and a little maturity to share with you, and a less selfish agenda of scoring a virgin or rekindling their youth with a boy-toy, often at the younger guy's expense.

    So as you've been advised, take your time, check out your new surroundings first. But don't be depressed. I've never been happier since I came out, the most joyful time of my life. Once you get your bearings you'll feel the same way, too! Good luck! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 26, 2011 2:15 PM GMT
    kuroshiro said

    Personally, I think it's best that you not meet anyone just yet... for dating or for sex. You need to find yourself first and be confident in who you are as an individual before you go jumping into something like this... you'll just end up hurt if you aren't prepared.

    AND WELL SPOKEN FOR ALL OF US WHEN KUROSHIRO SAYS:

    We're here to help as best we can. Here's to hoping you start yourself on the right path =)



    LET ME ADD: Take everything slowly.......including 'COMING OUT'. Take some time to understand what being gay means to you.....before you announce it broadly. It is painful to have loved ones misunderstand you. So first, UNDERSTAND YOURSELF.

    Think about how being gay will and WILL NOT change your identity. For instance, you will see yourself with another man as your life partner(when the time is right).......but YOU WILL NOT change your career goals based on your new sense of identity.

    At your age, you may well change your career goals and therefore your educational plans......but I promise you that those changes will have nothing to do with your sexuality.

    The people who care about you, especially within your family, may well have concerns that your being gay will change you.

    Be prepared to laugh at some of the questions you'll receive. Some of those questions will keep you laughing for years to come!
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    Sep 26, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
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    Welcome to the club!



    When I said to proceed with caution in the gay community, this is what I was talking about. You don't have to see yourself as "pretty" just because you're gay and you sure as hell don't have to have a drag name to be gay either. Being gay is also not a "club." I know the "gay card" posted above was a joke, but it's also a type of subliminal indoctrination that some gay guys use to herd new kids into their little "club." Just because you're attracted to the same sex, doesn't mean you have to act like a woman, live in a gay bar and do drag. This corrupts what being gay is about and has nothing to do with who you are. Resist bullshit like this and find your own path.
  • wild_sky360

    Posts: 1492

    Sep 26, 2011 2:57 PM GMT
    I can relate to that sick, disorienting feeling, once you've made the realization. It will pass, and likely transition into exuberance at some point. Some wear it on their sleeve, letting it define them. But, most guys come to realize that being gay is as incidental to their existence as being male, having brown hair, being tall / short, etc..It's a non issue cept for the dating pool being smaller.

    I have one bit of unsolicited advice for you. Please change your online name. Not being a hookup, or even much of a dating site, there is no need to advertise what you are looking for here. Let people discover who you are naturally. This website is a safe place to explore a wealth of information and opinion; and make some supportive friends.

    The archives probably answer every question you could have at this point. The forums offer an opportunity for interaction and getting to know others, as well as revealing a bit more about yourself. Take it slow, make some friends here, and when you are ready to leap into the dating pool you'll have some support.
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    Sep 26, 2011 3:22 PM GMT
    You are fine and you are compleatly normal. Let the shame go.
    As for the sex stuff, take your time don't rush into anything, an a little lube goes a long way.....................SAFE SEX...Always

    Being attracted to older men is normal, but give some guys your own age a try too. I had alot of fun in college exploring sex with a guy who was just as inexperienced as I was.
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    Sep 26, 2011 3:33 PM GMT
    kuroshiro saidIf he said he was honored to take your virginity, this should be your first indication to move on to someone else. If an someone truly cares about you then sex will come naturally without mention, at least in my opinion. I'd be cautious in this situation... he may appear all nice but is more than likely just going to screw you and toss you aside.

    Personally, I think it's best that you not meet anyone just yet... for dating or for sex. You need to find yourself first and be confident in who you are as an individual before you go jumping into something like this... you'll just end up hurt if you aren't prepared.

    We're here to help as best we can. Here's to hoping you start yourself on the right path =)


    Loving everything people are telling you but I think THIS was what you needed to hear.

    Sex, is of course, a big part of anyone's sexuality but it is far from what it is all about. Take your time and figure out what you want, who you want and when you are truly comfortable with yourself to go and meet people.

    Have you asked yourself why you are attracted to men of this age? Is it authority? Is it a feeling of ease/protection? Is it purely physical?

    You are 19. I am very happy you are truly coming to accept how you feel and I wish you the best, but just like it in life....you are not in a race. It is a marathon and you will have many experiences, both good and bad. Lets try and start with the good ones.

    Take your time.
  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Sep 26, 2011 3:38 PM GMT
    Hi Josh,

    Welcome to RJ and glad to see you post here. There are many great guys here who will be more than willing to help you.

    I remember the first time when I honestly admitted to myself that I have these gay thoughts and they're not going to go away. It was a liberating feeling, a huge weight off my shoulders. But I was also scared as hell and confused as hell. What does this all mean? Who am I? Who can I trust and can I tell anyone? I am tired of denying such a big part of myself, but will things actually get better? For some reason, the one thought that I hung onto was that some day I will have a happy, well-adjusted life that I'll get to spend with the person I love. I still don't know if I was naive or just optimistic.

    What I mean is that it will be a confusing time, it will be a rollercoaster ride for a while. I cannot tell you for how long as it varies for person to person, but pardon the cliche, I do think it gets better, slowly at first, but once you get over one hurdle (emotional, psychological, social etc.), the next one does seem a little easier. Don't let anyone rush you into coming out, dating, relationships, having sex etc. though. Only do so when you're well and truly ready, and you will know when that time comes, even if you're scared shitless about it. You're still very young to be starting this journey, as others have said, some don't get started till much later. Patience will be rewarded with good things.

    As for sex and other stuff, there are many stellar replies already, so I don't have anything to add. Feel free to ask if you have any more questions though, that's what we're all here for.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Sep 26, 2011 4:13 PM GMT
    Be honest - you clearly are. Be proud of yourself - this will come. Treat others with the same dignity and respect you deserve yourself - and drop people who won't give it to you back.

    Don't hurry - you have all your life in front of you.
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    Sep 26, 2011 5:25 PM GMT
    Wow! Thanks for all your supportive comments and information! It's all helped tons! I could take the time to quote some of you guys but that would take quite a while, so instead I'll just type out my responses below.

    -Much appreciated on the advice of "coming out." If I'm not comfortable with who I am, then what worth am I? I've always had that type of insight and always will. I think right now it's a bit of a shock to me and something that I'm slowly going to have to figure out. You guys all said it nicely when you said I shouldn't be ashamed; and you're right. Today I actually feel a lot better but this is just one step in the journey of a thousand miles.

    -I educated myself a bit on HIV and STD transmission when I found out I was gay. However, there is certainly more to learn and I would be more than willing to take the time to read up some more on it.

    -After some clear thinking I don't think I'm ready to hop straight to sex. I consider myself a rational, logical, thinker, and to be honest, meeting a guy at a hotel that I just met online does not seem like a very smart idea (this was just an example, I'm not actually meeting anyone at a hotel). Even while training self-defense you are taught to 'expect the unexpected' and I always will.

    -Much appreciated about the relationship advice. Talking to this guy was very awesome as we had very nice conversations about music, culture, where we live, ect, ect. He never pressured to have sex with me or anything but he asked if he could be blunt in the conversation and I said "yes." Something I am finding with older men is that they can be very blunt. I think sometimes they have to realize that there are people like me, that are very gentle, kind, and shy-natured and saying things like that right off the bat raises a red flag in my head.

    Overall, I do want to say thank you. You guys have most certainly been helpful and opened my eyes to new ideas and perspectives. Right now I am studying hard in college, working out, hanging with friends, and just enjoying life. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I have to change my perspectives on things. I can still treat people and the world around me with love and respect, and I don't have to love the opposite sex to do that.

    wild_sky360 said
    I have one bit of unsolicited advice for you. Please change your online name. Not being a hookup, or even much of a dating site, there is no need to advertise what you are looking for here. Let people discover who you are naturally. This website is a safe place to explore a wealth of information and opinion; and make some supportive friends.

    Fixed! That was really silly of me to put that as my username, but that's the only online gay alias I have been by! I think this is a bit better for now.! Thanks Wild_Sky!
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    Sep 26, 2011 5:46 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    When I said to proceed with caution in the gay community, this is what I was talking about. You don't have to see yourself as "pretty" just because you're gay and you sure as hell don't have to have a drag name to be gay either. Being gay is also not a "club." I know the "gay card" posted above was a joke, but it's also a type of subliminal indoctrination that some gay guys use to herd new kids into their little "club." Just because you're attracted to the same sex, doesn't mean you have to act like a woman, live in a gay bar and do drag. This corrupts what being gay is about and has nothing to do with who you are. Resist bullshit like this and find your own path.


    This.
    And I want to restate that I agree that creyente most likely meant *nothing* bad by his image, but I am glad scruffy took the time to call it out a little:
    Gay means you like dudes. That's it. How (stereotypically) masculine or feminine you are, what you wear, where you hang out, how your gay and straight friends match all of these things: no one gets to decide that but you. Don't try to match what you see.

    One more thing, on the flip side: don't try to fight what feels natural to you, though. A lot of us have some stereotypical gay mannerisms or interests or habits. So what? So do a lot of straight guys. Don't tell yourself, "Oh, I can't like that TV show or listen to that music because it's too gay." That's just as bad as deciding you need a drag name and to act like a woman because "that's what gays do." Be who you are, and let someone else worry about whether you "act gay or not." That's the last thing you should worry about. What matters is finding yourself.
  • ytOwen

    Posts: 298

    Sep 26, 2011 6:02 PM GMT
    JOSH!!!

    Welcome to the club! When your ready, arm your self with sexual health infohttp://test.sfsi.org/ then have fun!
    Owen!
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    Sep 26, 2011 6:35 PM GMT
    1.) Yes. Grit through it a couple times then it feels great.
    2.) I don't think I had a discovery "Oh, I must be gay" moment. I first knew I was attracted to men around puberty when I saw a magazine featuring some woman talking about the size of her breasts with a Calvin Klein men's underwear ad on the opposite page... and I have no idea what the woman looked like.
    3.) Pace yourself with the relationship idea. They're great... but they're tricky as well. You never really know or fully appreciate the problems and struggles of a relationship until you experience (read: fail at) them.
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    Sep 26, 2011 6:49 PM GMT
    1.) Does anal sex hurt on the receiving end? It seems like it would
    Nowhere are you required to perform any act that causes pain or discomfort. You may never do anal at all. However, if you do anal you may find that you prefer to be the fucker rather than the fuckee.

    If you do anal it should happen naturally, not forced, when you feel ready to try (you may be in bed with a man and suddenly feel like you NEED it--that's the time).

    Purchase plenty of silicone lube, and try it with a dildo first (start small). With a partner, don't take any chances without a condom. If you get any shit from that fucker ("oh, I don't like condoms because they don't feel natural"), kick that selfish asshole to the curb--he's a walking typhoid mary.

    2.) When did you find out you were gay and how did you react?
    It was a slow acceptance thing. I liked looking at naked pictures of men, but couldn't get aroused by naked women. I hid it for awhile, then got outed by a female roommate (who told my parents). After that it was great.

    3.) For someone who is new to relationships what should I do?
    Make out. Make out shirtless. If your pants come off, play with each other's erections. Take it slow, because you'll likely blow (early). Enjoy having a man touch you.

    Spend some time dating, courting, having makeout sessions (with the load release). No rush. Decide if you really like him because he's such an awesome dude. Be careful if you feel obsessed with him, while overlooking flaws you'd caution your friends about--that relationship will definitely end (so enjoy the makeouts, but don't commit).
  • hispianista

    Posts: 1

    Sep 26, 2011 7:05 PM GMT
    Congrats on your frank disclosure, first of all to yourself !

    I´m a discrete bi-married, and it took quite some time to finally realize that I really like the male body aesthetics and anatomy much more than any "model" woman, and especially a nicely developed male body.

    The next step I suggest is to forget about roles, preferences and specific acts. Just find someone to meet and enjoy as a friend where hugging and kissing and grappling with a warm body is the great yet simple joy.

    After that ... que ser sera ... mutual pleasure is the name of the game, not specifically anal acts etc. until the time is right and your stars are aligned.
    Last but not least, life should be enjoyable and that needs a sense of humour.

    So in due course, no hurry, with one FRIEND or another you´ll learn your mutual likes and dislikes and so pleasure each other ...
    It´s all sounds too simple, uhuuuh ?!?

    The only thing that is not simple is finding a real FRIEND in between the sexual hustlers ... who shares these ideas
  • KhanTop

    Posts: 37

    Sep 26, 2011 10:27 PM GMT
    To the OP I too feel attracted to much older men and attribute it to sex abuse that I cant recall, could have been incest so even more worthy of being blocked out.

    Even now when I hear things about older guy with younger I want to go back to being a kid and get molested by mature men.