Gay couples living together nearly double in decade; over 130,000 of them say husband or wife

  • metta

    Posts: 39099

    Sep 28, 2011 3:56 AM GMT
    Gay couples living together nearly double in decade; over 130,000 of them say husband or wife

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/census-131729-same-sex-couples-say-theyre-in-marriage-relationships-_-more-than-legal-count/2011/09/27/gIQA4xgL2K_story.html
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    Sep 28, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    metta8 saidGay couples living together nearly double in decade; over 130,000 of them say husband or wife

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/census-131729-same-sex-couples-say-theyre-in-marriage-relationships-_-more-than-legal-count/2011/09/27/gIQA4xgL2K_story.html


    Too bad most of middle America won't ever see this story because it is too controversial in the medium-to-small town press...
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    Sep 28, 2011 4:25 AM GMT
    I know this isn't really the point of the article, but I just hate when gay couples refer to their spouses as "husband." Makes my skin crawl to see the gay community embrace heterosexual terms that have no real meaning for us.
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    Sep 28, 2011 4:28 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidI know this isn't really the point of the article, but I just hate when gay couples refer to their spouses as "husband." Makes my skin crawl to see the gay community embrace heterosexual terms that have no real meaning for us.


    Im not attacking you at all but...What should they call each other then?
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    Sep 28, 2011 4:42 AM GMT
    Zeus17 said
    Scruffypup saidI know this isn't really the point of the article, but I just hate when gay couples refer to their spouses as "husband." Makes my skin crawl to see the gay community embrace heterosexual terms that have no real meaning for us.


    Im not attacking you at all but...What should they call each other then?




    I think we need our own terms that does not denote "man and wife." I personally use "my other half." I really like what it implies and I also like that it's light hearted, which works great in all situations. Other people prefer "partner" or "significant other" or "life partner."
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    Sep 28, 2011 4:46 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Zeus17 said
    Scruffypup saidI know this isn't really the point of the article, but I just hate when gay couples refer to their spouses as "husband." Makes my skin crawl to see the gay community embrace heterosexual terms that have no real meaning for us.


    Im not attacking you at all but...What should they call each other then?



    Other people prefer "partner" or "significant other" or "life partner."


    ...........and some prefer husband............................icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 28, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidWhat's wrong with calling your courted fuck buddy a husband?


    What are we gonna call each other when we get married boo icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 28, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidWhat's wrong with calling your courted fuck buddy a husband?



    Because that would make you the "wife." And being gay should not automatically be synonymous with gender confusion!
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    Sep 28, 2011 4:52 AM GMT
    I just call him the bastard I chose to live with.
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    Sep 28, 2011 4:57 AM GMT
    metta8 saidGay couples living together nearly double in decade; over 130,000 of them say husband or wife

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/census-131729-same-sex-couples-say-theyre-in-marriage-relationships-_-more-than-legal-count/2011/09/27/gIQA4xgL2K_story.html


    ...........and?
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    Sep 28, 2011 5:35 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Zeus17 said
    Scruffypup saidI know this isn't really the point of the article, but I just hate when gay couples refer to their spouses as "husband." Makes my skin crawl to see the gay community embrace heterosexual terms that have no real meaning for us.


    Im not attacking you at all but...What should they call each other then?




    I think we need our own terms that does not denote "man and wife." I personally use "my other half." I really like what it implies and I also like that it's light hearted, which works great in all situations. Other people prefer "partner" or "significant other" or "life partner."


    Yeh i like that to me husband is just husband im looking into it in anyway but I see where your coming from. I hate the reference Partner, We dont play tennis or on a scavenger hunt together. Just sounds weird to me
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    Sep 28, 2011 5:58 AM GMT
    dekiruman said
    Trollileo saidWhat's wrong with calling your courted fuck buddy a husband?


    What are we gonna call each other when we get married boo icon_wink.gif


    I dont mind husbands... I am certainly not opposed to harems of husbands either icon_razz.gif ;)
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4862

    Sep 28, 2011 6:11 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Zeus17 said
    Scruffypup saidI know this isn't really the point of the article, but I just hate when gay couples refer to their spouses as "husband." Makes my skin crawl to see the gay community embrace heterosexual terms that have no real meaning for us.


    Im not attacking you at all but...What should they call each other then?




    I think we need our own terms that does not denote "man and wife." I personally use "my other half." I really like what it implies and I also like that it's light hearted, which works great in all situations. Other people prefer "partner" or "significant other" or "life partner."


    Some use the term "mate."
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4862

    Sep 28, 2011 6:12 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Trollileo saidWhat's wrong with calling your courted fuck buddy a husband?



    Because that would make you the "wife." And being gay should not automatically be synonymous with gender confusion!


    Actually, both are husbands; there is no wife. Or, in the case of two women, both are wives; there is no husband.
  • metta

    Posts: 39099

    Sep 28, 2011 6:27 AM GMT
    GreenHopper said
    dekiruman said
    Trollileo saidWhat's wrong with calling your courted fuck buddy a husband?


    What are we gonna call each other when we get married boo icon_wink.gif


    I dont mind husbands... I am certainly not opposed to harems of husbands either icon_razz.gif ;)


    I was recently listening to a podcast on relationships and the psychologist that specialized in glbt relationships mentioned that she has found that most poly-amorous relationships fail. She said that it is tough enough when dealing with two people when adding more it makes things that much more complicated. She said that she was not against them but that it is very rare for them to work.
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    Sep 28, 2011 9:16 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    dekiruman said
    Trollileo saidWhat's wrong with calling your courted fuck buddy a husband?
    What are we gonna call each other when we get married boo icon_wink.gif
    I can be the black mage and you can be the white mage.


    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif

    I prefer this.
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    Sep 28, 2011 1:24 PM GMT
    FRE0 said
    Scruffypup said
    Trollileo saidWhat's wrong with calling your courted fuck buddy a husband?



    Because that would make you the "wife." And being gay should not automatically be synonymous with gender confusion!


    Actually, both are husbands; there is no wife. Or, in the case of two women, both are wives; there is no husband.



    I think you're missing something here. The reason these terms leave a bad taste in my mouth is their origins. These words were crafted to describe marriage between a man and woman. To try and adopt these same terms, once again implies to the world that one of us must be "the woman." When will we stop voluntarily stepping into these self constructed snares that keep us trapped in the mold of stereotypes?
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    Sep 28, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    FRE0 said
    Scruffypup said
    Zeus17 said
    Scruffypup saidI know this isn't really the point of the article, but I just hate when gay couples refer to their spouses as "husband." Makes my skin crawl to see the gay community embrace heterosexual terms that have no real meaning for us.


    Im not attacking you at all but...What should they call each other then?




    I think we need our own terms that does not denote "man and wife." I personally use "my other half." I really like what it implies and I also like that it's light hearted, which works great in all situations. Other people prefer "partner" or "significant other" or "life partner."


    Some use the term "mate."



    Yeah, "mate" is my second favorite term.
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    Sep 28, 2011 1:47 PM GMT
    I say partner, life-partner if I'm being really specific, or my other half or significant other.
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    Sep 28, 2011 1:50 PM GMT
    Scruffypup's concern is whether or not we are bound by a historical pairing of the word husband, or by the etymology of it. If one looks up a definition of the word husband, it often says something like "a married man considered in relation to his wife". Current usage of the word suggests a female attachment.

    However, if you look up the etymology or origin of the word, it is less so.
    In Old English hūsbonda meant "master of a house". Further back still the word's origins are Old Norse ....hūsbōndi, from hūs house + bōndi householder; akin to Old Norse būa to inhabit. Since early heterosexual marriages were often less about romance and more about a partnership among landowners, the term husband grew to suggest the dominant individual in a household. (Dissect the historical and gender politics as one wishes, but the origin of the linguistic term is actually fairly benign.)

    Should the growing number of same sex couples choose to start using terms like husband or wife, might that not have an organic evolutionary effect on the overall use of the word? In other words, might couples - straight or gay - a generation from now, feel equally comfortable using the terms with no historical baggage or gender politics associated with them?

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    Sep 28, 2011 6:20 PM GMT
    How about "bro"?



    Cum at me bro.
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    Sep 28, 2011 7:31 PM GMT
    osakarob said[...]
    In Old English hūsbonda meant "master of a house". Further back still the word's origins are Old Norse ....hūsbōndi, from hūs house + bōndi householder; akin to Old Norse būa to inhabit.[...]
    Should the growing number of same sex couples choose to start using terms like husband or wife, might that not have an organic evolutionary effect on the overall use of the word? In other words, might couples - straight or gay - a generation from now, feel equally comfortable using the terms with no historical baggage or gender politics associated with them?


    Languages evolve with changes in society.
    There's clearly an importance in the hierarchy of terms (very inconclusive listing) starting from friend -> significant other -> spouse.
    I look forward to eventually being a husband in a two-husband household, after enjoying the possible temporary steps of FB, FWB, significant other, partner, and whatever appropriate applicable terms may apply or evolve. In reality the only important thing will be the interrelationship on the highest level possible.