Are we being hypocrites when we chastise people for using the word fag?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2011 7:41 PM GMT
    When I'm around people and the word fag slips out I don't really have an emotional reaction to it, especially if I'm in mixed company and not everyone knows that I'm gay.

    It would be great if people never said words like fag, but words evolve and take on new meanings as they flow in and out of various contexts. I find it interesting gay people are especially sensi5tive to the word fag, but are especially loose with words that are equally offensive.


    "That's ghetto."

    This word is typically used to describe a subject or situation that is below the users personal standard.

    So basically, anything that you think is beneath you, is compared to the living circumstances typical of a poor person of color.

    It's not okay to call someone a fag but when you're martini doesnt have enough salt on the rim, you blurt out a word used to describe a place where mothers struggle to feed their children


    "That's retarded"

    This word is typically used for someone or something bad. It is especially popular when describing some form of incompetence, inability, or deficiency.

    "Don't call me a fag. What kind a of retard would say something like that in 2011?"


    Hopefully, the reason people use these words is because for them, they have taken on a meaning that is different from the traditional one. So if you are going to get all up in arms about people calling people faggots, then you should probably adjust your own behavior first, because A LOT of gay people say things like this.

    Don't be hypocrites. You can't go around calling people whores, and saying things are ghetto, or retarded and then getting butthurt when someone says, that's gay or calls someone a fag.
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    Sep 28, 2011 7:43 PM GMT
    I thought it was all about the connotation behind that word that just bothered people.

    I would probably be very alarmed if someone called me an idiot and really meant it just like I would be upset if someone called me a faggot and meant it.
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    Sep 28, 2011 7:56 PM GMT
    Soulasphyxi saidI thought it was all about the connotation behind that word that just bothered people.

    I would probably be very alarmed if someone called me an idiot and really meant it just like I would be upset if someone called me a faggot and meant it.


    I guess that's what im trying to say. For some people calling someone a faggot has evolved beyond the direct connection to homosexuality the way it has for a lot of other words......so we have to either not get mad about this word, or get mad about all of them.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 28, 2011 7:59 PM GMT
    To me, its like the comparison of using the word 'n*gger'. As a white man, I don't use it or call a black man that. But for many black men, calling each other that is fine.
  • in_this_corne...

    Posts: 704

    Sep 28, 2011 8:03 PM GMT
    Just go into comedy then everything's fair game...because it's funny then.
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    Sep 28, 2011 8:03 PM GMT
    Soulasphyxi saidI thought it was all about the connotation behind that word that just bothered people.

    I would probably be very alarmed if someone called me an idiot and really meant it just like I would be upset if someone called me a faggot and meant it.


    Well put and absolutely 100% correct.

    I think we can all tell the difference in meaning when the word is used.

    I used it quite alot and referred to myself and friends as "Fags" but there was never any cruelty behind it.

    I am about 100 years older than many of you but there was a time when use of the word was kinda empowering and cool. ESPECIALLY for those of us who did not fit the "stereotype" so many of you are horrified by.

    In my case I was something of a "Rocker Dude" ( was in a band - the whole nine yards) and telling chix that were trying to get into my pants that I was a Fag was beyond HILARIOUS. I should also point out though that those chix - and their boyfriends - NEVER ONCE called me a Fag. That would have been very different.

    There was even Rock & Roll Fag Bar on St. Marks and later at Don Hill's that was one of the coolest, most cutting edge scenes EVER. NO ONE was offended there I assure you.
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    Sep 28, 2011 8:11 PM GMT
    _
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    Sep 28, 2011 8:13 PM GMT
    its all about context
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Sep 28, 2011 8:20 PM GMT
    Turd burglars.
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    Sep 28, 2011 8:25 PM GMT
    Soulasphyxi saidI thought it was all about the connotation behind that word that just bothered people.

    I would probably be very alarmed if someone called me an idiot and really meant it just like I would be upset if someone called me a faggot and meant it.


    +1

    For me it's always been about how the word is used not who it is used by.
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    Sep 28, 2011 8:26 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidits all about context


    This.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Sep 28, 2011 8:47 PM GMT
    Timbales saidTo me, its like the comparison of using the word 'n*gger'. As a white man, I don't use it or call a black man that. But for many black men, calling each other that is fine.


    I believe that when the word ends with an "a" it is meant jokingly or in camaraderie. When it ends in "er" it is meant as derogatory.
  • Neurons

    Posts: 537

    Sep 28, 2011 8:55 PM GMT
    Timbales saidTo me, its like the comparison of using the word 'n*gger'. As a white man, I don't use it or call a black man that. But for many black men, calling each other that is fine.


    Regardless if you're black or white, I hate people using that word. It's just an ugly word.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Sep 28, 2011 9:13 PM GMT
    Well I think it's wrong to use a person's sexual orientation as a negative. I know people will say context but then how many people take context into account when they use such terms? In fact in my experience when people use such terms the very reason why they use them is because of the negative relation it has to homosexuality even when they may not mean it that way in the presence of gay people, especially when people say something is gay or when someone is called a faggot.

    I for example don't say something is really 'nigger' if I don't like it and then explain myself that I don't mean it in reference to actual black people. That I'm just using the negative connotation that came from the denigration of black people but that I don't actually mean it towards black people today..

    Sometimes I've heard people say it and I know they probably wouldn't say it if they knew how it made me felt, that they really might not mean it directed at my sexual orientation but then still that is where it comes from.

    It makes me think of people with PTSD. They are sensitive to certain kinds of behavior or ques in the environment that might otherwise be harmless. You can't just explain to them, "Hey, just take context into account!", when doing things or saying certain things that set off what stressed them in the past and expect it to suddenly be ok.

    People use homosexuality as a negative because it was and still is regarded as bad, that's where the meaning comes from.
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    Sep 28, 2011 9:23 PM GMT
    dekiruman said
    Soulasphyxi saidI thought it was all about the connotation behind that word that just bothered people.

    I would probably be very alarmed if someone called me an idiot and really meant it just like I would be upset if someone called me a faggot and meant it.


    I guess that's what im trying to say. For some people calling someone a faggot has evolved beyond the direct connection to homosexuality the way it has for a lot of other words......so we have to either not get mad about this word, or get mad about all of them.



    I think its a bit of a generalization that the word faggot has evolved beyond homosexuality. nevertheless do people prefer to hear cocksucker, polesmoker, dick? or the another common one, "thats gay". if the connotations intention is harmful sort it out with the dick saying it.