I need more gay friends

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    Sep 29, 2011 9:14 AM GMT
    whether it be on here or in person? where do i start
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    Sep 29, 2011 11:57 AM GMT
    Just make sure your criteria includes not wanting to fuck them. I make sure all of my gay friends are in no way shape or form what I find attractive.

    Other than that look for the same qualities you like in your other friends.

    Your 18 so make sure you make the effort to seek out more gay friends in college. Much better to meet them there than at gay bars where most guys just wanna hookup.
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    Sep 29, 2011 12:12 PM GMT
    Have to disagree with whateveryo. You can have gay friends you're attracted to. I think "attraction" in some way is part of any friendship. If you want friends I probably wouldn't go in expecting a hoookup or a fuck buddy, but there's no reason you can't think the guy is handsome as well. A good portion of my friends are attractive to me... doesn't mean I'm going to nail them.

    Furthermore, even if you did sleep with a guy that doesn't disqualify him from "friend". My best friend here is a guy I fooled around with for a minute but just didn't work out as far as a relationship or anything like that. We just became really good friends because, other than a "relationship" we enjoy each other's company. There's no reason sexual encounters that don't end in marriage have to end in divorce!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 29, 2011 12:17 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidHave to disagree with whateveryo. You can have gay friends you're attracted to.... There's no reason sexual encounters that don't end in marriage have to end in divorce!


    I would agree with the above...

    Be friendly, be willing to listen and show a genuine interest in others, you will certainly develop friendships here and elsewhere....
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    Sep 29, 2011 12:22 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidHave to disagree with whateveryo. You can have gay friends you're attracted to. I think "attraction" in some way is part of any friendship. If you want friends I probably wouldn't go in expecting a hoookup or a fuck buddy, but there's no reason you can't think the guy is handsome as well. A good portion of my friends are attractive to me... doesn't mean I'm going to nail them.

    Furthermore, even if you did sleep with a guy that doesn't disqualify him from "friend". My best friend here is a guy I fooled around with for a minute but just didn't work out as far as a relationship or anything like that. We just became really good friends because, other than a "relationship" we enjoy each other's company. There's no reason sexual encounters that don't end in marriage have to end in divorce!


    I just meant in terms of the physical, obviously you have to find them attractive in some way but it shouldn't be based on how they look if the OP is looking for a friendship. It can lead to a lot of problems further down the road potentially/ cause awkwardness.

    He is interested in finding friends primarily, correct ?
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    Sep 29, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    Bath house
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    Sep 29, 2011 1:41 PM GMT
    Somebody2Luv saidwhether it be on here or in person? where do i start


    You don't need gay friends. You just need good friends regardless of whether they are physical appealing or not.
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    Sep 29, 2011 1:54 PM GMT
    Somebody2Luv saidwhether it be on here or in person? where do i start


    SAME HERE!!!!!
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    Sep 29, 2011 1:56 PM GMT
    Guy101 said
    Somebody2Luv saidwhether it be on here or in person? where do i start


    You don't need gay friends. You just need good friends regardless of whether they are physical appealing or not.


    THAT'S CRAP!!! I HAVE FRIENDS, BUT I ALSO NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THE THINGS I FACE AS A GAY MAN.
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:04 PM GMT
    swimguychicago said
    Guy101 said
    Somebody2Luv saidwhether it be on here or in person? where do i start


    You don't need gay friends. You just need good friends regardless of whether they are physical appealing or not.


    THAT'S CRAP!!! I HAVE FRIENDS, BUT I ALSO NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THE THINGS I FACE AS A GAY MAN.


    I beg to differ. Don't assume every gay man you talk to is gonna understand what you go through as a gay man. If you have a good friend(s) who can think outside their box then their sexual orientation shouldn't be a factor and you should be able to talk to them about your problems. I'd say the problem lays with you not knowing how to express yourself clearly to where they can understand where you are coming from regardless of their sexual orientation.

    That's like saying only another black-mixed person can understand me. Get out of here with that.

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    Sep 29, 2011 2:07 PM GMT
    Guy101 said
    swimguychicago said
    Guy101 said
    Somebody2Luv saidwhether it be on here or in person? where do i start


    You don't need gay friends. You just need good friends regardless of whether they are physical appealing or not.


    THAT'S CRAP!!! I HAVE FRIENDS, BUT I ALSO NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THE THINGS I FACE AS A GAY MAN.


    I beg to differ. Don't assume every gay man you talk to is gonna understand what you go through as a gay man. If you have a good friend(s) who can think outside their box then their sexual orientation shouldn't be factor and you should be able to talk to them about your problems so I'd say the problem lays with you not knowing how express yourself clearly to where they can understand where you are coming from regardless of their sexual orientation.



    I disagree completely. There is a difference between intellectually understanding something and being able to relate to it through experience. I can see pictures of someone's vacation and appreciate it but its not like actually being there. Straight friends, while understanding cannot relate to issues regarding being gay the way another gay person can.
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:16 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said
    Guy101 said
    swimguychicago said
    Guy101 said
    Somebody2Luv saidwhether it be on here or in person? where do i start


    You don't need gay friends. You just need good friends regardless of whether they are physical appealing or not.


    THAT'S CRAP!!! I HAVE FRIENDS, BUT I ALSO NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THE THINGS I FACE AS A GAY MAN.


    I beg to differ. Don't assume every gay man you talk to is gonna understand what you go through as a gay man. If you have a good friend(s) who can think outside their box then their sexual orientation shouldn't be factor and you should be able to talk to them about your problems so I'd say the problem lays with you not knowing how express yourself clearly to where they can understand where you are coming from regardless of their sexual orientation.



    I disagree completely. There is a difference between intellectually understanding something and being able to relate to it through experience. I can see pictures of someone's vacation and appreciate it but its not like actually being there. Straight friends, while understanding cannot relate to issues regarding being gay the way another gay person can.



    You're under the assumption every gay man can relate which not every gay men can.

    My point was it shouldn't matter what their sexual orientation is. Just have good friends.
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:20 PM GMT
    Guy101 said
    Dallasfan824 said
    Guy101 said
    swimguychicago said
    Guy101 said
    Somebody2Luv saidwhether it be on here or in person? where do i start


    You don't need gay friends. You just need good friends regardless of whether they are physical appealing or not.


    THAT'S CRAP!!! I HAVE FRIENDS, BUT I ALSO NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THE THINGS I FACE AS A GAY MAN.


    I beg to differ. Don't assume every gay man you talk to is gonna understand what you go through as a gay man. If you have a good friend(s) who can think outside their box then their sexual orientation shouldn't be factor and you should be able to talk to them about your problems so I'd say the problem lays with you not knowing how express yourself clearly to where they can understand where you are coming from regardless of their sexual orientation.



    I disagree completely. There is a difference between intellectually understanding something and being able to relate to it through experience. I can see pictures of someone's vacation and appreciate it but its not like actually being there. Straight friends, while understanding cannot relate to issues regarding being gay the way another gay person can.



    You're under the assumption every gay man can relate which not gay men can.

    My point was it shouldn't matter what their sexual orientation is. Just have good friends.


    Yes, I am under that assumption. My point is it does matter. While someone shouldnt have friends who are exclusively gay I think its important to have good gay friends among your group.
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:29 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said
    Guy101 said
    Dallasfan824 said
    Guy101 said
    swimguychicago said
    Guy101 said
    Somebody2Luv saidwhether it be on here or in person? where do i start


    You don't need gay friends. You just need good friends regardless of whether they are physical appealing or not.


    THAT'S CRAP!!! I HAVE FRIENDS, BUT I ALSO NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THE THINGS I FACE AS A GAY MAN.


    I beg to differ. Don't assume every gay man you talk to is gonna understand what you go through as a gay man. If you have a good friend(s) who can think outside their box then their sexual orientation shouldn't be factor and you should be able to talk to them about your problems so I'd say the problem lays with you not knowing how express yourself clearly to where they can understand where you are coming from regardless of their sexual orientation.



    I disagree completely. There is a difference between intellectually understanding something and being able to relate to it through experience. I can see pictures of someone's vacation and appreciate it but its not like actually being there. Straight friends, while understanding cannot relate to issues regarding being gay the way another gay person can.



    You're under the assumption every gay man can relate which not gay men can.

    My point was it shouldn't matter what their sexual orientation is. Just have good friends.


    Yes, I am under that assumption. My point is it does matter. While someone shouldn't have friends who are exclusively gay I think its important to have good gay friends among your group.


    A). you shouldn't be under any assumption. 1st three letters of that words should tip you off and remember now, you are dealing with gay people so you should always expect the unexpected.

    B). You pretty much just said what I said when I said you should have good friends period regardless of their sexual orientation (you just stated it differently)

    C). Thanks for paying attention and proving my point that not everyone can relate.

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    Sep 29, 2011 2:31 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]Guy101 said[/cite]
    Dallasfan824 said
    Guy101 said
    Dallasfan824 said
    Guy101 said
    swimguychicago said
    Guy101 said
    Somebody2Luv saidwhether it be on here or in person? where do i start


    You don't need gay friends. You just need good friends regardless of whether they are physical appealing or not.


    THAT'S CRAP!!! I HAVE FRIENDS, BUT I ALSO NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THE THINGS I FACE AS A GAY MAN.


    I beg to differ. Don't assume every gay man you talk to is gonna understand what you go through as a gay man. If you have a good friend(s) who can think outside their box then their sexual orientation shouldn't be factor and you should be able to talk to them about your problems so I'd say the problem lays with you not knowing how express yourself clearly to where they can understand where you are coming from regardless of their sexual orientation.



    I disagree completely. There is a difference between intellectually understanding something and being able to relate to it through experience. I can see pictures of someone's vacation and appreciate it but its not like actually being there. Straight friends, while understanding cannot relate to issues regarding being gay the way another gay person can.



    You're under the assumption every gay man can relate which not gay men can.

    My point was it shouldn't matter what their sexual orientation is. Just have good friends.


    Yes, I am under that assumption. My point is it does matter. While someone shouldnt have friends who are exclusively gay I think its important to have good gay friends among your group.


    A). you shouldn't be under an assumption. 1st three letters of that words should tip you off.

    B). You pretty much just said what I said when i said you should have good friends period.

    Thanks for paying attention and proving my point that not everyone can relate.

    [/quote

    Obviously reading comprehension isnt near the top your skill sets.
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    I wouldn't say it's in your top 10 either. icon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:35 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidI wouldn't say it's in your top 10 either. icon_twisted.gif


    I wouldnt expect you too.
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said
    Guy101 saidI wouldn't say it's in your top 10 either. icon_twisted.gif


    I wouldnt expect you too.


    Or should you?

    Expect the unexpected? icon_twisted.gif
  • trainhard2011

    Posts: 231

    Sep 29, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    Gay friends are awesome to have.
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:41 PM GMT

    Dallasfan, you took the bait. He said, "Don't assume every gay man you talk to is gonna understand what you go through as a gay man."

    Not every gay man is going to understand what you go through, and not every straight person will, either, Guy101.
    However the number of gay men that will understand is likely to be much greater than the number of straights.

    -Doug
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:48 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Dallasfan, you took the bait. He said, "Don't assume every gay man you talk to is gonna understand what you go through as a gay man."

    Not every gay man is going to understand what you go through, and not every straight person will, either, Guy101.
    However the number of gay men that will understand is likely to be much greater than the number of straights.

    -Doug


    I didnt take the bait. We are talking about things in general terms not about an individual. Hence my remark. Because we are not talking about a single person, you cannot make a direct comment. I understand that in every discussion the easy play is to go to "that isnt every person in the world so you wrong". I made a reasonable statement given the topic. I dont think a disclaimer is needed for what is obvious. Much like RJ. We call be on other body building forums, but we are because we are gay. Guys here will have a perspective you dont get from bodybuilding.com. I dont think stating the obvious is necessary.
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    Guy101 said
    swimguychicago said
    Guy101 said
    Somebody2Luv saidwhether it be on here or in person? where do i start


    You don't need gay friends. You just need good friends regardless of whether they are physical appealing or not.


    THAT'S CRAP!!! I HAVE FRIENDS, BUT I ALSO NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THE THINGS I FACE AS A GAY MAN.


    I beg to differ. Don't assume every gay man you talk to is gonna understand what you go through as a gay man. If you have a good friend(s) who can think outside their box then their sexual orientation shouldn't be a factor and you should be able to talk to them about your problems. I'd say the problem lays with you not knowing how to express yourself clearly to where they can understand where you are coming from regardless of their sexual orientation.

    That's like saying only another black-mixed person can understand me. Get out of here with that.

    I like this post!
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:57 PM GMT
    Meninlove, I never suggested nor assumed that every (if any) straight person would understand what a gay man goes through any better than a gay person. That's sort of a given that not every gay man can relate to another gay man just like not every straight person can relate to another straight person.

    Please don't double talk me.
  • trainhard2011

    Posts: 231

    Sep 29, 2011 3:18 PM GMT
    I really suspect that gay guys who don't have gay friends is because they don't want them. There is a negative stigma associated with being a gay male in the US, and I think 'a bird of a feather' comes into play that these guys don't want to associate with. Just my two cents.
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    Sep 29, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    Volunteer, join a club, cruise the rest stops.