My Partner is thinking of joining this site...

  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    Sep 29, 2011 10:14 AM GMT
    But only because I'm on this site, so I told him he should only join this site if he wants to not because I'm on it.

    What do you all think about thaticon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2011 1:17 PM GMT
    What some couples do is share an account. You could change your screen name to mean something for you both.
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    Sep 29, 2011 1:21 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidI've seen it done before.. many times. It really takes a special couple with a really strong bond to pull it off. I've watched other's play games with each other and it's never fun to be a pawn in that game. If he does,, I recommend you tread lightly or make sure you are as close as MeninLove.
    Ask them,, they may have some good pointers for you ; )

    A good tip. Though Doug & Bill actually share the same account, they don't hold separate ones, and take turns posting here (and even Mom sometimes posts something, I forget whose, icon_redface.gif despite her speaking with my partner & me on the phone when he was in the hospital). Nice people.

    I've invited my partner to join RJ, but he's not interested. He's always free to see anything I post here (well, except when I get cranky and criticize him, or tell a joke at his expense), and I often call him to the screen to read something.

    So I think it could work, if the OP has a strong & stable relationship. It certainly is a demonstration that partners have nothing to hide from each other, not living secret lives. I'm not sure what "games" a couple could play online with each other, but if they stoop to hurtful games of their own partner, then the relationship probably was failing, anyway, and not because of being online together.
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    Sep 29, 2011 1:51 PM GMT
    The word "partner" is nauseating.

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    Sep 29, 2011 1:53 PM GMT
    Inostrankan saidThe word "partner" is nauseating.




    lol, then what should they call each other? icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:08 PM GMT
    inuman saidBut only because I'm on this site, so I told him he should only join this site if he wants to not because I'm on it.

    What do you all think about thaticon_question.gif


    Does he know you have adult pictures?
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:13 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Inostrankan saidThe word "partner" is nauseating.

    lol, then what should they call each other? icon_wink.gif

    This seems to be a knee-jerk post he makes. Perhaps his reply to you will be better than the non-answer I got from him, when I asked him the same thing about a similar post. He told me something about "pseudo-spouse" which made no sense at all.
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:15 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Inostrankan saidThe word "partner" is nauseating.




    lol, then what should they call each other? icon_wink.gif


    I've always just introduced the guy I was dating by his name and let people read into it what they will.

    Additionally, the OP is in Canada, where marriage equality is the law of the land, so he can say husband if he wants to I guess, if they are married.
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Sep 29, 2011 2:24 PM GMT
    In and of itself I don't think it matters if he joins this site or not, but if he has anxieties over what you're doing on here, then you have something that probably needs to be talked about (i.e. is he becoming insecure in the relationship? Why? Is it in his head? Are you doing something to contribute to that feeling? )

    I look at this site as the virtual equivalent of a gym or a coffee shop, I'm sure people hook up here, but that's not the primary purpose. In other words treat it as if he wanted to start going to your favorite coffee shop with you--if it's just to check the place out, then I think that's cool, but if it's so he can monitor your behavior then y'all have problems.
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:25 PM GMT
    Significant Other
    Soulmate
    Love of my life
    Husband
    Wife
    Partner
    "Insert name here"
    "Pet name"
    Mate
    My other half
    My better half
    My worst half
    Ball n' chain
    Battle Axe
    Warden
    Judge
    Jury
    Executioner
    Baby's Daddy


    To the op, so your "real close buddy" wants to join the just simply because you are on it, huh? Nothing wrong with that if that's his only reason (which seems odd). He either is legit in his action or he wants to keep tabs on you and see what you do here. Take it however you want.
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:28 PM GMT
    Bob & I are both on here, in fact we met on RJ Forums about three years ago. It works for both of us because we are both into health and fitness, working out, and various sports. Also, we each have our friends on here and it is a good way to stay in touch with them.

    As for the word partner - I don't like it either, because it sounds country & western, and for those of you who know me - I'm not country. Nothing wrong with country, but it just isn't me. The word sounds like we should be saying "Howdy, partner" so we just don't use it. We just use our names, or say the word fiancee. Someday it will be "husband" and that will be cool.

    icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:32 PM GMT
    Country/western say it with a "d" and not a "t".
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    Sep 29, 2011 2:58 PM GMT
    If your boyfriend doesn't trust you, then you've got other issues that are much bigger than realjock.com.

    This is a great site. Why shouldn't couples be on this site as individuals? I don't get it. When I get propositioned for sex, online or offline, by someone other than my guy, I politely decline. End of story.

    Do we have to nitpick about "partner"???

    In Canada me and my guy are common-law spouses, so when I refer to him in the 3rd tense I say "my common-law spouse." But it doesn't sound very romantic.
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    Sep 29, 2011 3:03 PM GMT
    Yea I don't get what the problem is, or why it would take a couple "with a really strong bond" to both be members. My guy is on here, and I would never say or do anything on this site that I wouldn't want him to know about... and I wouldn't do it even if he wasn't a member.

    Guess what? I've also friended Jay on Facebook... same rules apply.

  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Sep 29, 2011 3:20 PM GMT
    Who cares?
    It's a website, not a career. Do you worry about him reading the NYT because it's on the table?
    icon_neutral.gif


    Edit: Wait, why are so many people acting like this is a big deal?
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    Sep 29, 2011 3:20 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidAs for the word partner - I don't like it either, because it sounds country & western, and for those of you who know me - I'm not country. Nothing wrong with country, but it just isn't me. The word sounds like we should be saying "Howdy, partner" so we just don't use it. We just use our names, or say the word fiancee. Someday it will be "husband" and that will be cool.

    icon_cool.gif

    My main problem with "partner" is that it can imply a business partner, not a domestic one. But my options are limited.

    We have local friends who are legally married in New Hampshire, where they keep a vacation home, and they get to call each other "husband." I can't say that in Florida, or if I do, it's a cruel misrepresentation.

    Sometimes online I'll write "hubby" as the best I can do. I don't especially like partner myself, but in many situations, where I introduce him or talk about him to others, I don't know what else to say. Here in this immediate area of south Florida, where gays are so common, saying "my partner" usually gets the point across. Elsewhere in the US, I'm sure they'd initially think I was talking about a guy (or woman) with whom I co-own a business.
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    Sep 29, 2011 3:22 PM GMT
    Inostrankan said
    meninlove said
    Inostrankan saidThe word "partner" is nauseating.




    lol, then what should they call each other? icon_wink.gif


    I've always just introduced the guy I was dating by his name and let people read into it what they will.

    Additionally, the OP is in Canada, where marriage equality is the law of the land, so he can say husband if he wants to I guess, if they are married.



    Sorry but I just read this bullshit comment.

    Let me rephrase the OP using your logic:

    "Tom is thinking of joining this site, but only because I'm on this site..."


    Is Tom his brother? His best friend? His coworker? His name isn't descriptive enough for the post to make sense. If he's not married, he doesn't call him husband. Would you prefer boyfriend? Somebody above said that sounds too high school. I would never refer to my partner as "the guy I'm dating," since we've been together for almost nine years.

    Partner will have to do... now go on and vomit, it might relieve your nausea.


  • Sep 29, 2011 3:27 PM GMT
    If you have a good relationship then it shouldn't be a big deal for him to join. Actually, since it's a site for in shape men.. let him join! If he needs some motivation to stay or get in shape, this site will motivate him
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    Sep 29, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    I suspect that your man may just be curious what all of the fuss is about, particularly if you've brought RJ up in conversation. RJ is a social outlet as much (or more) than a fitness forum, and it's perfectly normal for people in a relationship to be curious about and want to participate in what's going on in their significant other's life.

    My husband (Sourcefour) joined several months after I did, mostly because I was constantly referencing RJ discussions in our own conversations. Now we have another common thread between us.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Sep 29, 2011 3:39 PM GMT
    I think your partner has jealous tendencies and sees this as a way to keep track of yo ass....My 2
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    Sep 29, 2011 4:18 PM GMT
    Ravco saidI suspect that your man may just be curious what all of the fuss is about, particularly if you've brought RJ up in conversation. RJ is a social outlet as much (or more) than a fitness forum, and it's perfectly normal for people in a relationship to be curious about and want to participate in what's going on in their significant other's life.

    My husband (Sourcefour) joined several months after I did, mostly because I was constantly referencing RJ discussions in our own conversations. Now we have another common thread between us.


    Ta-dahhhh! There you go, inuman.

    ..and both Ravco and Sourcefour are very nice men.

    Bring your romantic-and-sexual-interest-significant-other-you-share-your-life-and-are-in-love-with. It'll be great to meet him. icon_wink.gif

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    Sep 29, 2011 4:33 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Inostrankan saidThe word "partner" is nauseating.




    lol, then what should they call each other? icon_wink.gif


    How about boyfriend, or husband....?
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    Sep 29, 2011 5:08 PM GMT
    I think he should and make sure he gets some adult pictures like you have
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    Sep 29, 2011 5:09 PM GMT
    theantijock saidI use partner or best bud. Husband sounds too str8. Boyfriend sounds too high school.


    Shouldn't you just say imaginary?
  • scottmet99

    Posts: 78

    Sep 29, 2011 5:30 PM GMT
    why do some couples have such issues about each other being on sites such as these? I have been partnered for 3 1/2 years. We both are members of various gay sites and have people that we know on them. What is the big deal?