GIDDYUP PARDNER!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2011 11:08 PM GMT
    Some people have expressed their disdain for the term "partner" when referring to their significant other.

    Clearly this needs to be it's own topic because it's been derailing other threads.


    Personally, I say "boyfriend", if we were together for over a year I'd probably say "husby", and if we were to get married I would of course say "husband".

    I don't feel that there should be any ambiguity about who I am dating. Heterosexuals are allowed to mention their spouse at any time they like; homosexuals should only be allowed to do the same.



    What do you think? What term do you use to refer to your significant other?

    edit: I just found this
    http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/alternative-words-for-boyfriend-girlfriend-or-husband-wife

    I like this -
    UCSBOther Half: Endearing term which conveys a more permanent relationship so entwined that you view yourselves as one entity.
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    Sep 29, 2011 11:09 PM GMT
    I agree with BF and husband and I wouldn't use husby LOL
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    Sep 29, 2011 11:30 PM GMT
    Hypnotico saidI agree with BF and husband and I wouldn't use husby LOL
    lol i would say it because we're not legit married but it sounds more committed than boyfriend, and i think it sounds super cute
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    Sep 29, 2011 11:52 PM GMT
    I hate the term "lover"

    like hell I love him, we are enemies bound to each other causing each other misery and having vindictive rough violent sexual intercourse on a regular basis!

    Now thats a boyfriend!
  • allezallez

    Posts: 50

    Sep 30, 2011 12:00 AM GMT
    I say partner in crime. Or at least I did... Not sure if I can use that term again, it was kind of unique to us. icon_sad.gif
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    Sep 30, 2011 12:07 AM GMT
    I cant imagine the 40 something guy at my office ever referring to his partner as "husband". It's an "euphemistic" way of saying it in work environment. IMO.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 30, 2011 12:10 AM GMT
    Mine is my husband now, but I still refer to him as my b&c.
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    Sep 30, 2011 12:11 AM GMT
    I call him "Pardner" and introduce him as "partner"

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    Sep 30, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    Advaya saidI cant imagine the 40 something guy at my office ever referring to his partner as "husband". It's an "euphemistic" way of saying it in work environment. IMO.
    IMO ignorant bitches need to get the fuck over themselves. If a bitch can mention her boyfriend/husband then I will too.
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    Sep 30, 2011 12:24 AM GMT
    Does sex slave count as a name for the significant other?
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    Sep 30, 2011 12:24 AM GMT
    Don't care for partner, to business-like, I still talk of my boyfriend even though we're way past boyhood. I'd only talk of husband once we're married.
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    Sep 30, 2011 12:25 AM GMT
    bhp91126 saidDon't care for partner, too business-like, I still talk of my boyfriend even though we're way past boyhood. I'd only talk of husband once we're married.
    Preach.gif
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    Sep 30, 2011 12:26 AM GMT
    deon8404 saidDoes sex slave count as a name for the significant other?
    icon_lol.gif only if you're in a strictly master-slave relationship.
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    Sep 30, 2011 12:27 AM GMT
    Timbales saidMine is my husband now, but I still refer to him as my b&c.
    b&c??
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    Sep 30, 2011 12:27 AM GMT
    On one side, each term has its' legitimate shade of differences from the other. To call someone 'husband' w/o having gotten married but living together and living like a married couple in a household sounds completely reasonable.

    On the other side some people don't like the way some terms sound, or the connotations they associate with them ('hubby', 'partner in crime', 'ball and chain').


    I met a guy who had been living with his "partner" (his term) for over 25 years and they owned multiple real estate together. They hadn't been having sex with each other after the first ~5 years, and since date other men. They were clearly 'partners,' friends, not husbands, and not lovers.

    All colors, shapes, and sizes.
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    Sep 30, 2011 12:30 AM GMT
    Anduru said
    deon8404 saidDoes sex slave count as a name for the significant other?
    icon_lol.gif only if you're in a strictly master-slave relationship.


    Well then I guess he's going to have to become my slave. This'll make for an awkward Thanksgiving...
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    Sep 30, 2011 12:51 AM GMT
    Anduru saidI don't feel that there should be any ambiguity about who I am dating. Heterosexuals are allowed to mention their spouse at any time they like; homosexuals should only be allowed to do the same.


    There is this very strange line some gays sometimes use- "I don't wear my homosexuality on my sleeve." I don't know what the hell that means except that they are not going to let anyone know they are gay or mention their partner/husband/boyfriend/significant other/daddy to anyone. Somehow they think this means they are acting just like heterosexuals. What a crock of shit. Every heterosexual freely shares to their coworkers their weekend plans with their husband/wife. have no hesitation when shopping for a gift for their spouse letting the store clerk know, and share family photos with the stranger next to them on a plane. Nobody says they are wearing their heterosexuality on their sleeve. If I have to hear about the boring details of their lives with their partners, they can certainly oblige me the same courtesy.
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    Sep 30, 2011 12:55 AM GMT
    Iceblink said
    Anduru saidI don't feel that there should be any ambiguity about who I am dating. Heterosexuals are allowed to mention their spouse at any time they like; homosexuals should only be allowed to do the same.


    There is this very strange line some gays sometimes use- "I don't wear my homosexuality on my sleeve." I don't know what the hell that means except that they are not going to let anyone know they are gay or mention their partner/husband/boyfriend/significant other/daddy to anyone. Somehow they think this means they are acting just like heterosexuals. What a crock of shit. Every heterosexual freely shares to their coworkers their weekend plans with their husband/wife. have no hesitation when shopping for a gift for their spouse letting the store clerk know, and share family photos with the stranger next to them on a plane. Nobody says they are wearing their heterosexuality on their sleeve. If I have to hear about the boring details of their lives with their partners, they can certainly oblige me the same courtesy.


    Thank you!


    Now how about penis holster?

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    Sep 30, 2011 1:33 AM GMT
    How about we say my significant other! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 30, 2011 1:44 AM GMT
    Anduru said
    Timbales saidMine is my husband now, but I still refer to him as my b&c.
    b&c??


    ball & chain
  • Relyks132

    Posts: 80

    Sep 30, 2011 1:49 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidI hate the term "lover"

    like hell I love him, we are enemies bound to each other causing each other misery and having vindictive rough violent sexual intercourse on a regular basis!

    Now thats a boyfriend!


    Like Harry and Draco... wait thats only in slash fiction....
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    Sep 30, 2011 2:01 AM GMT
    I wonder how much of the terminology has to do with generational differences. We have been together 19 years. We refer to one another as partners. It may sound business like, but we know it refers to an equal partnership in every aspect of our lives. Husband doesn't "sound" correct because we aren't married. Lover "sounds' like nothing more than a sexual relationship to me. Boyfriend "sounds" like a person I am dating but not taking the final plunge.

    To me "partner" is not the best term, but of the choices given, it is the one that we are most comfortable with. With that said, I would also add that a lot of what I (we) would call one another also may differ if someone else were my partner, life mate, spouse, companion, etc. But, I believe that what we have after 19 years is far beyond just "boyfriend."

    We recently had a young man doing work for us. He asked if we were brothers. I laughed and told him, "we're partners." He said, "Oh. Ok. Y'all are business partners." I said, "Yeah, that too." lol It took him a minute and I could see that the light was almost on in his head but not quite making it. So, I added that we were partners in every sense of the word. Then I saw the light come on. I was trying so hard not to laugh.

    One cattleman was renting one of our farms for winter pasture. When I met him, I very plainly told him that R---- and I were partners and if he had a problem with that he had better let me know now. He said it did't matter to him and I knew he understood the relationship...

    so... yes, we use the term partner because it fits us best and is the one we are most comfortable with for our situation.
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    Sep 30, 2011 2:03 AM GMT
    Relyks132 said
    lilTanker saidI hate the term "lover"

    like hell I love him, we are enemies bound to each other causing each other misery and having vindictive rough violent sexual intercourse on a regular basis!

    Now thats a boyfriend!


    Like Harry and Draco... wait thats only in slash fiction....


    On the topic of Harry & Draco; who is the top?
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    Sep 30, 2011 2:55 AM GMT
    PaulNKS saidI wonder how much of the terminology has to do with generational differences. We have been together 19 years. We refer to one another as partners. It may sound business like, but we know it refers to an equal partnership in every aspect of our lives. Husband doesn't "sound" correct because we aren't married. Lover "sounds' like nothing more than a sexual relationship to me. Boyfriend "sounds" like a person I am dating but not taking the final plunge.

    [cut for length]

    so... yes, we use the term partner because it fits us best and is the one we are most comfortable with for our situation.
    How about "We are together"?

    As seen here: http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/alternative-words-for-boyfriend-girlfriend-or-husband-wife
  • jim_sf

    Posts: 2094

    Sep 30, 2011 4:01 AM GMT
    I agree about "partner" being too business-like, and "boyfriend" being appropriate only for the still-new phase. The best term (IMHO) is "husband" - the common term in English for a man in a long-term romantic relationship - because it's a familiar word that leaves zero ambiguity about the nature of the relationship. I'll use "husband" even without marriage equality, because fuck the idiots who can't distinguish legal acknowledgement from religious sanctification.