Racy culinary fantasies

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2011 5:53 AM GMT
    Perhaps it's more appropriate to post this in the "Recipes" forum, but these videos are just so amazingly funny that I had to post them in the main forum so they get a ton of views! My stomach hurts so much that I won't have to do another ab workout for the rest of the week. I also have tears all over my face.

    So I've been a long time fan of this blog that pokes fun at the Food Network. A lot of the shit they make fun of is so true on that channel! Anywho, this particular post is incredibly hysterical. The second video has particularly brilliant editing! You DO NOT want to be eating or drinking anything while watching these!

    http://foodnetworkhumor.com/2011/09/jamie-oliver-and-nigella-lawson-talk-dirty/

    Oh goodness, Nigella Lawson talks sensually enough on her show. Yet the edit on her video just completely kills me.

  • Sep 30, 2011 11:53 AM GMT
    They say that food shows use the same camerawork as porn, and I believe it. The Barefoot Contessa is practically pornographic! (Love her.)
  • xflex2000

    Posts: 44

    Sep 30, 2011 12:00 PM GMT
    for some reason... a good marinara sauce always does it for me.
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    Sep 30, 2011 12:53 PM GMT
    The Barefoot Contessa is a big cunt.

    A 6-year-old named Enzo's wish started innocently enough. He wanted to spend the afternoon with "celebrity" chef Ina Garten, better known as the Barefoot Contessa. The young boy, suffering from acute lymphoblastic leukemia, would often watch Garten's show while sick in his bed. Enzo's wish simply involved meeting with the chef cooking one of the Contessa's many French dishes with her. No big deal, right?

    http://www.tmz.com/2011/03/24/ina-garten-barefoot-contessa-make-wish-child-cancer-leukemia-cooking-chef/

    She told the kid no.

    Enzo was told to try again later that year due to a book tour conflict. On his next attempt to reach the cooking star, he was given an answer of "definite no" from Contessa's PR team, who are all apparently awful at their jobs. "Barefoot Contessa? More like Piece-of-Shit-You're-a-Bitch Contessa," Enzo probably never said.

    Enzo was devastated by the news that his favorite chef had turned him down, and his family quickly turned to the Web to air their displeasure. In a blog post earlier this year, Enzo's mom noted that her son had wanted to meet the chef for the past three years, and had publicly wondered, "Why doesn't she want to meet me?" We're very sorry to everyone else who entered, but we officially have a winner for saddest thing ever.

    No doubt thrilled by the easiest news story of all time, nearly every major news group hopped on the story, and soon the Contessa found herself the number one enemy of people who support sick children over millionaire chefs. ABC News noted that the refusal was out of step with the much more charity-friendly image she put out in public.

    In a panic move, Contessa contacted Enzo and personally invited him to join her. He would get to cook with her just like he wanted all along! No big deal, right?

    He told the lady no.

    ww-bitch-please.gif

    See, Enzo had spent the weeks since his rejection doing two things: booking a different wish and being sick of the Barefoot Contessa's bullshit. He alerted the chef that her apologies were too little too late, and instead of cooking a simple meal with a terrible person, decided he was going to go out and swim with some motherfucking dolphins. Nice upgrade, Enzo.






  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    Inostrankan saidThe Barefoot Contessa is a big cunt.

    A 6-year-old named Enzo's wish started innocently enough. He wanted to spend the afternoon with "celebrity" chef Ina Garten, better known as the Barefoot Contessa. The young boy, suffering from acute lymphoblastic leukemia, would often watch Garten's show while sick in his bed. Enzo's wish simply involved meeting with the chef cooking one of the Contessa's many French dishes with her. No big deal, right?

    http://www.tmz.com/2011/03/24/ina-garten-barefoot-contessa-make-wish-child-cancer-leukemia-cooking-chef/

    She told the kid no.

    Enzo was told to try again later that year due to a book tour conflict. On his next attempt to reach the cooking star, he was given an answer of "definite no" from Contessa's PR team, who are all apparently awful at their jobs. "Barefoot Contessa? More like Piece-of-Shit-You're-a-Bitch Contessa," Enzo probably never said.

    Enzo was devastated by the news that his favorite chef had turned him down, and his family quickly turned to the Web to air their displeasure. In a blog post earlier this year, Enzo's mom noted that her son had wanted to meet the chef for the past three years, and had publicly wondered, "Why doesn't she want to meet me?" We're very sorry to everyone else who entered, but we officially have a winner for saddest thing ever.

    No doubt thrilled by the easiest news story of all time, nearly every major news group hopped on the story, and soon the Contessa found herself the number one enemy of people who support sick children over millionaire chefs. ABC News noted that the refusal was out of step with the much more charity-friendly image she put out in public.

    In a panic move, Contessa contacted Enzo and personally invited him to join her. He would get to cook with her just like he wanted all along! No big deal, right?

    He told the lady no.

    ww-bitch-please.gif

    See, Enzo had spent the weeks since his rejection doing two things: booking a different wish and being sick of the Barefoot Contessa's bullshit. He alerted the chef that her apologies were too little too late, and instead of cooking a simple meal with a terrible person, decided he was going to go out and swim with some motherfucking dolphins. Nice upgrade, Enzo.








    I've read plenty about this story regarding Ina Garten, but that's not what this thread is about. icon_rolleyes.gif