How did you know?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2008 9:23 PM GMT
    So I have read several posts regardng relationships and whether it is good to stay single, just have sex, will love ever come, why are gay men single and so on and so on. All of these posts can lead some to believe that there is just no hope out there. I am hoping that some of you real jockers out there that are in relationships will share with us a little bit about your situation.

    How did you meet your significant other, and what was so special about him that let you know this was the one you were ready to commit to?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 18, 2008 9:30 PM GMT
    For me it was just a feeling. We had met and things just kind of clicked.
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    May 18, 2008 11:05 PM GMT
    I'm not a big believer in love at first sight, but when I first laid eyes on him I knew we had a special connection. Like Timberoo said, "it was just a feeling."
    Going on five years now.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 18, 2008 11:24 PM GMT
    Having had two LTR's in the past I know that it's not something that hits you the instant you see someone

    I met my first BF thru a personal add he'd placed
    and we were together for 8 yrs

    My second BF was introduced to me thru a mutual friend

    Things just click...first there's attraction
    then there's a sexual chemistry and then an emotional bond builds
    it's easy to recognize but if you need to question it
    it's probably not there
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2008 11:31 PM GMT
    Just had to be this special feeling, i'm in my first relationship (started new years) and its long distance, which isn't too fun, but at the time, he just gave me this feeling like no other. It made me happy, and so does he, so thats how i knew.
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    May 19, 2008 12:32 AM GMT
    I'd like to refer you to exhibit A:

    WHITNEY HOUSTON
    "All The Man That I Need"

    I used to cry myself to sleep at night
    But that was all before he came
    I thought love had to hurt to turn out right
    But now he's here
    It's not the same, it's not the same

    [Chorus:]
    He fills me up
    He gives me love
    More love than I've ever seen
    He's all I've got,
    He's all I've got in this world
    But he's all the man that I need

    And in the morning when I kiss his eyes
    He takes me down and rocks me slow
    And in the evening when the moon is high
    He holds me close and won't let go
    He won't let go
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    May 19, 2008 3:14 AM GMT
    I met my partner online through manline. We talked online for awhile, and like others have said, we just clicked. When we met in person, the physical attraction was there, and it's been great ever since.
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    May 19, 2008 3:21 AM GMT
    I met my b/f thru match.com.

    We knew when one day we were sitting next to each other, and we both just started crying.

    We're not together anymore, but what we felt for each other at that moment never went away and is still there for both of us.
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    May 19, 2008 7:44 PM GMT
    It's funny! We were just talking the other night about when we first met - a pub in Boston called the Jeanie Johnston. No kiss, nothing that first meeting.

    Nothing the second meeting/first official date.

    Third date, he was dropping me off and he said, "So are you going to kiss me or what?" We steamed up the car windows.

    I always tell him, 'I knew what I was doing, stringing you along for just a kiss!'

    We don't steam the windows up as much these days (nine years later) but we sure can when we want to! icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2008 7:49 PM GMT
    I met my boyfriend on line...(#anhunt...gross i know). When we met I was just looking to hook up...nothing serious. Something about him wanted it to be more. We dated for about a month before we made it official and committed ourselves to each other.
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    May 19, 2008 8:01 PM GMT
    I met my boyfriend on AOL 8 years ago....but he broke up with me recently for a much younger guy... Oh well!!
    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2008 8:04 PM GMT
    Met in a pub in Scotland.

    Maybe not love at first sight, but I couldn't stop looking at him; and I didn't want to leave that evening.

    I knew I was in troubel/love when I started worrying about him all the time - if he was ok, his safety - if he made a travel connection on time: when I never cared much about those things myself.
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    May 19, 2008 8:21 PM GMT
    We met at gay volleyball, but did not start dating until 15 months later. We are both shy, and my HIV status and age made me hesitant to make the first move.

    I think one way I knew he was the right one was the fact that I missed him when he was not around. I am by nature a loner and for me to miss someone like that is unusual.
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    May 19, 2008 8:40 PM GMT
    Wysiwyg60 saidWe met at gay volleyball, but did not start dating until 15 months later. We are both shy, and my HIV status and age made me hesitant to make the first move.

    I think one way I knew he was the right one was the fact that I missed him when he was not around. I am by nature a loner and for me to miss someone like that is unusual.


    Yes, exactly, same here. I am very much a quiet, private person who used to spend most of my time alone and I was okay with that. When Bret is late coming home I turn into some sort of mother hen, fretting and pacing, worried about him. Granted he is sort of a nut that manages to get himself into all kinds of trouble - he's like a big kid!

    How we met? Quoted here from the "Kisses" forum post a few weeks back:

    Wow, I never would have gotten together with my husband without that kiss. We met at a house party, and I was totally not interested in him. He was not at his best that afternoon (it was after an AIDS fundraiser picnic that had lasted all day and he was quite drunk), and I was really giving him the brush off because he was being frankly annoying.

    As I left the party, his friend Curtis came to me and said that I really should leave my phone number, because Bret was actually a fantastic guy and I would be forever sorry if I let him go. Thinking that Bret would never remember me in the shape he was in, I did. Before I could get out of the house, Bret grabbed me from behind, spun me around and laid a kiss on me that weakened my knees. I've never experienced anything like that, and I had been out for over 20 years at that point. I honestly thought I was going to faint.

    Didn't hear from him for a couple of weeks, so I thought he didn't remember. Turns out he did, but he was so embarrassed by his behavior that he was afraid to call me. Needless to say, I forgave him!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2008 8:47 PM GMT
    I met my bf on rj about six months ago. We chatted on here for a couple of weeks then met at a coffee shop. I knew from the start he was a great guy. We didn't click 100% at first but enough to want to do it again and again and again and then again....

    Its been fucking great. Feelings grew when we weren't even paying attention. They keep growing with the days that go by. I am crazy about him now. Don't even know what hit me...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2008 9:09 PM GMT
    GobB saidHow did you meet your significant other, and what was so special about him that let you know this was the one you were ready to commit to?


    Heh...I doubt most people really know right off the bat that they're ready to commit indefinitely to a person. Relationships kind of work like snowballs. The "commitment" isn't for a lifetime, but for a week, or a month, or a year. And then it just keeps growing from there. You learn more about the person in little bits, and everything you learn gives you a reason to stick around longer. Instantaneous lifetime connections probably happen, but holding out for one is akin to using the lottery as an investment strategy: just because it's technically possible doesn't mean it isn't childishly unrealistic.

    FWIW, my now-partner initially got my interest because he was handsome, very funny, and wearing a totally sweet Sailor Moon t-shirt. It sounds corny as hell, but it seems like every day I find another little characteristic to add to the list of reasons I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
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    May 19, 2008 9:41 PM GMT
    I knew it was time to commit when he slipped me a Grant and a lollipop.
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    May 20, 2008 6:53 AM GMT
    Buckwheet saidI knew it was time to commit when he slipped me a Grant and a lollipop.


    Cheap whore! Never trust a man who doesn't include a tootsie roll!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2008 7:33 AM GMT
    Fuck y'all!
    >>strong words to these grapes I'm eating right now which are just sooo sour
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2008 10:04 PM GMT
    I'd like to refer you to exhibit A:

    WHITNEY HOUSTON
    "All The Man That I Need"



    With all due respect, she married Bobby Brown!!!!!icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2008 8:24 PM GMT
    I met my husband through daddy hunt. We chatted for a bit all the while I was thinking he would be an ok friend and didnt even think about him sexually or even as a dating prospect.

    Short story: Our first date we met at ruby tuesday and we were there for 3hrs, luckly it wasnt busy because Im sure the manager would have asked us to leave. We talked and talk and after a few hours paid our bill got up and walked around the mall. It ended with a hug and both of use wanting to see more. Several other dates later we had a very hot hot tub session and well after that it was a given. We have been together over 3years and married for almost a year.

    long story can be found at tough capter 2 and 3 need to be written Chapter 1 long storie

    As for what let me know it was more of a feeling. There was a closeness to him that I have never experienced with anyone else. I just knew he was the one, my soulmate so to speak.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 23, 2008 2:11 AM GMT
    We kind of just knew. We met at a GLB support group, he asked me out. We went out. Had a great dinner and conversation. I went home. He called and asked me out again. We went out. Had a great dinner and conversation. Went back to his place and three days later I went home very sore and very tired. We have been together for 16 years this month. icon_biggrin.gif

    On some level we both feel like we have known each other before. I am not sure if I really believe in past lives stuff, but if it does exist then I am sure we knew each other in a previous life. icon_wink.gif
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 15, 2009 12:11 PM GMT


    I've been in one relationship. I met him while I was in college and we immediately were aware the sense of attraction that we felt for each other, however, something was telling when he and I knew to wait patiently before rushing head first. The main reason I was willing to date him was because he was and still remains a sweetheart. Again: we may not be together at present, but he is still an important part of my life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2009 2:01 PM GMT
    To be a guy who was desperately searching for love, I had extreme commitment issues. Whenever anyone got mildly close I'd cut them off immediately.

    I guess what really did it for me was that when I'd see him with anyone else it made me jealous and I'd purposely do something sabotage it. It took me a while to admit that I was developing emotions for him, but I guess it was his patience and his loving nature that sealed the deal for us.

    One day I looked at him and i just knew that he was worth me settling down with. And now I make the concious decisions necesary to keep us going strong.