Why Are People Still In the Closet?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 12:17 AM GMT
    It's 2011.

    LGBT people as a group are far more integrated into and accepted by society than ever before.

    We still have much work to do: marriage equality, workplace and family protections in all states, etc but I think we can agree that we have made tremendous strides recently.

    The repeal of DADT removed one of the last reasons for not living your life truthfully and openly.

    So, in this day and age, why is it that people still remain in the closet?

    *EDIT*

    I was mainly speaking to people in the Western world: Europe, North America, Israel, etc. where LGBT people have some level of protection under the law.

    I am well aware that in places like Iran, Russia, Saudi Arabia and others that LGBT people are executed for simply being gay.

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    Oct 01, 2011 12:38 AM GMT
    There are still some places in this world where homosexuality is illegal, and being out would be dangerous.

    Besides that, I'll willing to guess that the perception of having to give up something is greater than the freedom of living your life without deception.
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    Oct 01, 2011 12:40 AM GMT
    Inostrankan saidIt's 2011.

    LGBT people as a group are far more integrated into and accepted by society than ever before.

    We still have much work to do: marriage equality, workplace and family protections in all states, etc but I think we can agree that we have made tremendous strides recently.

    The repeal of DADT removed one of the last reasons for not living your life truthfully and openly.

    So, in this day and age, why is it that people still remain in the closet?





    One word FEAR is why there are people still in the closet regardless of all the gains made
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    Oct 01, 2011 12:45 AM GMT
    Inostrankan saidSo, in this day and age, why is it that people still remain in the closet?
    Because it smells nicer than airport restrooms.
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    Oct 01, 2011 12:45 AM GMT
    is FEAR about getting KILL by who you are.
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    Oct 01, 2011 12:46 AM GMT
    Family situations, job security, religion, and of course as beneful1 said- FEAR.
  • Montague

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    Oct 01, 2011 12:59 AM GMT
    Or! If you are bisexual there is no closet to come out of, because people just see you as greedy.
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    Oct 01, 2011 1:00 AM GMT
    Montague saidOr! If you are bisexual there is no closet to come out of, because people just see you as greedy.


    Well, obviously. /sarc
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    Oct 01, 2011 1:03 AM GMT
    They are afraid
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    Oct 01, 2011 1:06 AM GMT
    I'm scared to come out to a far right conservative family icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 01, 2011 1:38 AM GMT
    Because any choice with no going back possible is scary.

    You know what you leave, and have no idea what you'll find.

    It's easy to consider after the fact that a fear was exaggerated, not when you face it.

    Not to say that there is some valid reasons not to come out at some points in your life or in some place.

    Being honest with other etc.. is nice and good, but at the end of the day, you do it for yourself, to feel better and enjoy life more.


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    Oct 01, 2011 1:57 AM GMT
    soon man. almost there.
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    Oct 01, 2011 2:21 AM GMT
    ‎"Find your own way, but it is better to be out than to be closeted. And I can say that in terms of quality of life and in terms of what's ethically right for your community. It is better for other gay people if you're out. The more people that come out the better. That's the only thing that I encourage anybody to do. And I certainly live that." -Rachel Maddow MSNBC, On coming out.
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    Oct 01, 2011 2:28 AM GMT
    For most people, it is fear of losing crucial familial and social attachments, and sometimes also a loss of livelihood. These attachments are biologically powerful and necessary for good health, normal human development and in some cases having basic needs met. Remaining closeted is thus a powerful self-defense mechanism for the brain and one not always easily overcome, consciously or unconsciously.
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    Oct 01, 2011 3:39 AM GMT
    Inostrankan saidIt's 2011.

    LGBT people as a group are far more integrated into and accepted by society than ever before.



    Yes, and no. True, American society in general is much more accepting of LGBT people. But for the gay people who remain close to the customs, traditions, and mindsets of their ethnic background, it isn't so easy.

    For example, duty to the family is stressed and considered more important than individuality in many Asian cultures. For some gay Asians who live in the West, they would rather not burn bridges from their family in the pursuit of individualism. For them, identifying with an ethnic community is more important than identifying with a sexuality-based community. And the unfortunate truth is that when it comes to traditional cultures, in most cases, the choice is either/or, not both. This is why some speculate that gay people "of color" are more reluctant to come out of the closet.

    Just my 2cents speaking from my experience.
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    Oct 01, 2011 3:41 AM GMT
    Here's why:

    11e321e22d10fef13cb6aa15fe982c68.gif
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    Oct 01, 2011 3:52 AM GMT
    JackNWNJ saidHere's why:

    11e321e22d10fef13cb6aa15fe982c68.gif


    I dont get it. Is it supposed to be a homophobic remark? If so, how is it relevant to the topic? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Oct 01, 2011 3:52 AM GMT
    so what if DADT was repealed?
    who gives a fuck?

    so what if its 2011? does that some how make it acceptable to everyone?
    No.

    dont be a jerk off.

    Theres still a lot of fams out there that would rather die that have some gay kid as their son. Just because ur all happy and prancing around draped in the rainbow flag does not mean its like that for everyone. ...

    btw, im singles boys
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Oct 01, 2011 3:55 AM GMT
    My guess....they like the smell of moth balls.....
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    Oct 01, 2011 3:57 AM GMT
    Does the kid who made the it gets better video committing suicide as a result of bullying mean anything to you? Sure a lot of people are accepting, but a lot of people will bully a gay kid and torture him to the point of him committing suicide. I know for a fact that I wouldn't have been able to come out in HS. No one in my class was openly gay and there was homophobia all over my campus. An openly gay kid would have gotten bullied every day. Right now I'm basically an openly gay man, but I still struggle with telling people from older generations like my parents and my grandma. I just don't think they'd understand it because their mentality is completely different. Coming out to my generation hasn't been half as bad as I thought it would be though and everyone has been pretty much accepting.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Oct 01, 2011 3:58 AM GMT
    guys, like omg
    why arent u just out of the closet yet?

    its like 2011...
    *limp wrist*

    jeeeezus Christ!!!!
    like get overrr it,
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    Oct 01, 2011 3:59 AM GMT
    Import saidso what if DADT was repealed?
    who gives a fuck?

    so what if its 2011? does that some how make it acceptable to everyone?
    No.

    dont be a jerk off.

    Theres still a lot of fams out there that would rather die that have some gay kid as their son. Just because ur all happy and prancing around draped in the rainbow flag does not mean its like that for everyone. ...

    btw, im singles boys


    Actually no one would really mind if you stayed in.

    Out of sight.

    Silent.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Oct 01, 2011 4:02 AM GMT
    Cash said
    Import saidso what if DADT was repealed?
    who gives a fuck?

    so what if its 2011? does that some how make it acceptable to everyone?
    No.

    dont be a jerk off.

    Theres still a lot of fams out there that would rather die that have some gay kid as their son. Just because ur all happy and prancing around draped in the rainbow flag does not mean its like that for everyone. ...

    btw, im singles boys


    Actually no one would really mind if you stayed in.

    Out of sight.

    Silent.


    gurrrrrrrl, u trippin
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    Oct 01, 2011 4:05 AM GMT
    joe122 saidDoes the kid who made the it gets better video committing suicide as a result of bullying mean anything to you? Sure a lot of people are accepting, but a lot of people will bully a gay kid and torture him to the point of him committing suicide. I know for a fact that I wouldn't have been able to come out in HS. No one in my class was openly gay and there was homophobia all over my campus. An openly gay kid would have gotten bullied every day. Right now I'm basically an openly gay man, but I still struggle with telling people from older generations like my parents and my grandma. I just don't think they'd understand it because their mentality is completely different. Coming out to my generation hasn't been half as bad as I thought it would be though and everyone has been pretty much accepting.


    I THINK - although I am not sure - the OP is referring to adults not kids. I believe he is questioning anyone who is at least legally able to move and go and theoretically do what they want without having to answer to parents, teachers,, or other "authority" figures.

    Like any incredibly personal potentially life-altering decision, it should be done on ones own time. There is no great role model in seeing a dude being dragged out of the closet kicking and screaming.

    THAT being said, I would also hope that whatever the reasons are that an individual chooses to remain closeted, they are not just fear of retribution from those who are ignorant. It is enough to grapple with one's own feelings without the burden of everyone else's.
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    Oct 01, 2011 4:06 AM GMT
    Advaya said
    JackNWNJ saidHere's why:

    11e321e22d10fef13cb6aa15fe982c68.gif


    I dont get it. Is it supposed to be a homophobic remark? If so, how is it relevant to the topic? icon_rolleyes.gif


    Troll, just ignore him and he might go away......icon_evil.gif