The best-laid schemes (bad puns and all that)

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    Oct 01, 2011 2:50 AM GMT
    My partner and I tried to have a sweet date today.

    We tried those scenes where they have the lights off in the movies and fall in bed together and synchronize perfectly. So when we were falling in bed, he knees me in the groin. When my phone rings, I kick him in the face reaching for it. Then I stand up and spill a glass of ice on his boxer-clad lap. The glass falls and breaks and I step on it cutting the sole of my foot, not to mention the sticky floor. After we have the blood and ice on penis bit taken care of, I backhand him to the face. Finally, he gets up and tells me to just say no if I don't want it.

    Y'all you would think we would have figured this out by now.

    Have you had similar dates? Or stories where romance doesn't quite do it?

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 01, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    I remember one time we went in to kiss each other at the same time, and our teeth collided. Then when I had his legs up, he got a massive leg cramp just as I entered him. Then when it was my turn, he bent and spread my legs so far one knocked over the bedside table lamp and broke it on the floor.
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    Oct 01, 2011 6:43 AM GMT
    LOL!!!!
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    Oct 01, 2011 7:53 AM GMT
    My favorite was when a guy I was seeing a while back accidentally grabbed a bottle of face scrub instead of lube. (why the two were near each other, I couldn't tell you...) The look on his face was priceless when he realized what was wrong, ha!
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    Oct 01, 2011 10:56 AM GMT
    You haven't lived until you had your jealous Labrador pee in the bed to prevent you from having sex.

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    Oct 01, 2011 1:17 PM GMT
    adam228 saidYou haven't lived until you had your jealous Labrador pee in the bed to prevent you from having sex.



    Truer words have never been spoken.
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    Oct 01, 2011 1:21 PM GMT
    My boyfriend and I were making out in the shower. I reached down to switch off the water and turned the tap handle the wrong way. It gave us a shot of ice cold water. icon_eek.gif
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Oct 01, 2011 7:48 PM GMT
    Try doing it with a baby in the house. He knows exactly the right moments to interrupt us.

    Is your foot better?

    john_galt said face scrub instead of lube

    That feeling of freshness, aah!
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    Oct 02, 2011 3:12 AM GMT
    commoncoll saidTry doing it with a baby in the house. He knows exactly the right moments to interrupt us.

    Is your foot better?

    Oh, I remember those days too. Trust me, it doesn't stop once they grow older either.

    My foot really hurts now. It didn't hurt as much yesterday. It's deeper than I thought. I'm starting to see increased vasculature around it so it's healing/getting infected.