Optimum number of Facebook "friends"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 4:21 PM GMT
    I'm genuinely curious how others justify the connections they have among their Facebook friends.

    I just changed jobs and moved to a new city. I decided to review my list of Facebook friends and see whether I could pare them down a bit.

    Then I thought, "Why are you even keeping this tenuous connection with former work colleagues, former students, etc.?" I've deleted from about 250 down to 135.

    My new rule of thumb is this...."If I were speaking with any member of my Facebook friends face-to-face, would I share details of my personal life with them? Personal life in this instance means things like what the boyfriend and I did over the weekend. Would I ask about their personal life?

    If the answer is no, I've deleted that person because there are probably other ways of staying connected. (LinkedIn, etc.)

    I'm pretty sure my Facebook updates are now going to basically evaporate because the average age of my network is now somewhere in their 30s, but at least it has a sense of integrity.

    Just wondering....by what standards do you keep people in your Facebook network?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 4:48 PM GMT
    To me, the whole point of Facebook is to connect with others, to meet new people, to network, to interact with people all over the world.

    If someone wants to limit their list to a tiny circle of best friends and second cousins, that's fine, but why even bother with a FB account at all? Just e-mail them.

    So my standards: Pretty much anyone who wants to friend me, can.




  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 4:48 PM GMT
    I have 42 Facebook friends on my last count. Twelve of which I talk to on a fairly regular basis. The rest being people from HS that I hung out with but no longer see, and a few extended family members. My criteria is basically the same as yours. Do I want to speak to this person? How well do I know this person, how well do they know me?

  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Oct 01, 2011 4:57 PM GMT
    I'm lax when it comes to adding people as friends. Some are closer than others. Half of them have been added because we went to high school together.

    The only person I was hesitant about adding was a guy who didn't like me in middle school and high school. I made never it a point to talk to him, yet he always felt the need to say something. Just hating.

    Even in college, when you think people would mature just a bit, he rolled his eyes and uttered something under his breath when I boarded the same shuttle bus he was on. As always, I just ignored him.

    Recently he requested a friendship add on Facebook. I was thinking about it for a couple of days and decided to go ahead and add him. That's when I realized his reason — he had just gotten married. On his facebook wall were people congratulating the marriage.

    I guess he needed more congratulations.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 4:58 PM GMT
    Should never have more then 150....but idk I don't have facebook, I have real friends.
  • nanidesukedo

    Posts: 1036

    Oct 01, 2011 4:59 PM GMT
    Simon78928 saidShould never have more then 150....but idk I don't have facebook, I have real friends.



    Correct. It's called "Dunbar's Number."

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8360wVLtEuk
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 6:11 PM GMT
    I ditched FB

    Google+
    Twitter
    LinkedIn
    RJ.

    FB is creepier than other sites I use.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 6:38 PM GMT
    Somewhere around 500 I think.

    but then your newsfeed is all screwed up
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 6:42 PM GMT
    I had around 250 I didn't know any of them I played farm-ville for about 2 years and those were just people that played with me. Once I got to level 150 I got bored with it stopped playing and eventually deleted my facebook account 2 months ago
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Oct 01, 2011 6:43 PM GMT
    Oh god, I have well over 1,000. I guess it's a little different though because I use facebook to network with bands, venues, other promoters, etc. so it's not all "friends" so to speak. Besides that I generally end up knowing a lot of people anyways because I'm in a fraternity and I'm an honorary member of a sorority, so I deal with a lot of people all over campus on a regular basis.

    I don't bother trimming it unless there are people whose posts are so frequent that it becomes a nuissance
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 6:44 PM GMT
    mcwclewis saidOh god, I have well over 1,000. I guess it's a little different though because I use facebook to network with bands, venues, other promoters, etc. so it's not all "friends" so to speak. Besides that I generally end up knowing a lot of people anyways because I'm in a fraternity and I'm an honorary member of a sorority, so I deal with a lot of people all over campus on a regular basis.

    I don't bother trimming it unless there are people whose posts are so frequent that it becomes a nuissance


    so you're basically a facebook whore
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 8:15 PM GMT
    I've got about 230 FB friends. When I first joined I added a bunch of old high school friends I probably shouldn't have. Maybe 30 or so. Other than those, everyone is either family or friends I actually interact with periodically.

    I've gotten pretty good at ignoring requests from people I haven't seen or thought of in over 30 years, or friends-of-friends who I don't really know. With very few exceptions, I rarely add people from work.
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Oct 01, 2011 8:17 PM GMT
    I like to keep mine hovering around the 100 mark. I don't just befriend any old person and delete those who there's no real activity with on fb.
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Oct 01, 2011 8:18 PM GMT
    And to the opening poster, I think your approach is a wise one, and spot on.

    *thumbs up*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 8:27 PM GMT
    I just PERMANENTLY DELETED my facebook account. Got sick of the whole 'deactivating' thing and the new timeline thing is just a bit too ridiculous for me. Would rather be off the grid a bit and when I tried wiping out a lot of the friends on facebook (that I couldn't justify keeping), facebook has made it such a pain in the ass I just gave up and decided the hell with it. If I ever do go back, at least it will be a clean slate and I can manage everything with a new mindset. icon_smile.gif
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Oct 01, 2011 8:32 PM GMT
    I'm at 820, which is good for me - I used to be hovering at about 1,000.
    I am mostly keeping people who entertain me or are funny in some way. Still, I bonded a lot with my large highschool, was super social in undergrad with the fraternity, residence life and so on, and then dental school. I have some meaningful communications through Facebook, but probably with less than 50 individuals or so. I'm hoping to get to 500 by the end of this year through purging people I don't actually like or communicate with.

    My siblings and I communicate by posting shit on each other's walls. Mostly Yootube links.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Oct 01, 2011 9:51 PM GMT
    dancedancekj saidI'm at 820, which is good for me - I used to be hovering at about 1,000.
    I am mostly keeping people who entertain me or are funny in some way. Still, I bonded a lot with my large highschool, was super social in undergrad with the fraternity, residence life and so on, and then dental school. I have some meaningful communications through Facebook, but probably with less than 50 individuals or so. I'm hoping to get to 500 by the end of this year through purging people I don't actually like or communicate with.

    My siblings and I communicate by posting shit on each other's walls. Mostly Yootube links.


    saaame, my brothers and I post vids on eachothers walls.
    not too often, but every now and again....being that we all live in different states.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Oct 01, 2011 10:04 PM GMT
    I only facebook friend people I have met and interacted with at least 1 time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 10:18 PM GMT
    Some people have two or more FB accounts. One for business and professional networking. And the other for family and very close friends. This removes the awkwardness when someone you don't know too well sends you a FB friend request. Alternatively, you can also open a LinkedIn account and use that for business instead.

    But in the end, these are all tools to help organize your life. Use them however you see fit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 10:29 PM GMT
    osakarob saidOptimum number of Facebook "friends"
    0...because having 0 Facebook "friends" means you have more friends in real life than on Facebook.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2011 11:52 PM GMT
    I have 209 right now, but it's getting time to cull the herd again. I don't like to maintain more than about 130. Maybe I'll institute a one-in-one-out policy again.

    When I worked for a school, I made it a personal policy not to accept friend requests from current students, coworkers, or parents. Also, I tend to not accept friend requests from the myriad of people I marginally interacted with during various productions over the years.

    Way back when, I would get constant friend requests from high school classmates that I hadn't spoken with in 20+ years. If I didn't talk to them then, why the Hell would I want to tell them about my life now?
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Oct 01, 2011 11:54 PM GMT
    SourceFour saidI have 209 right now, but it's getting time to cull the herd again. I don't like to maintain more than about 130. Maybe I'll institute a one-in-one-out policy again.

    When I worked for a school, I made it a personal policy not to accept friend requests from current students, coworkers, or parents. Also, I tend to not accept friend requests from the myriad of people I marginally interacted with during various productions over the years.

    Way back when, I would get constant friend requests from high school classmates that I hadn't spoken with in 20+ years. If I didn't talk to them then, why the Hell would I want to tell them about my life now?


    Easy - because they want to snoop.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2011 12:08 AM GMT
    sbwlguy said
    SourceFour saidI have 209 right now, but it's getting time to cull the herd again. I don't like to maintain more than about 130. Maybe I'll institute a one-in-one-out policy again.

    When I worked for a school, I made it a personal policy not to accept friend requests from current students, coworkers, or parents. Also, I tend to not accept friend requests from the myriad of people I marginally interacted with during various productions over the years.

    Way back when, I would get constant friend requests from high school classmates that I hadn't spoken with in 20+ years. If I didn't talk to them then, why the Hell would I want to tell them about my life now?


    Easy - because they want to snoop.


    Exactly.
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Oct 02, 2011 1:00 AM GMT
    i have about 2700, down from about 4900
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2011 1:43 AM GMT
    I have 3300 spread out across 9 FB accounts.