Reuniting with an old fuckbuddy.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2008 4:33 AM GMT
    Three years can really make a difference. Back in 2003-2004, I used to have this Cyprian pilot who always guaranteed mindblowing sex whenever we hooked up. In 2005, he joined another airline and since then we never managed to catch up with each other even if he made touchdown here.
    I met him again last night. He's got a belly now, a receding hairline and looked like a different person. Yes, I find older men attractive but he just wasn't the same person.
    Even if I sooo looked forward to getting laid, it was just not working for me. It was weird. He kissed the same way but it only kept my hard-on for a few minutes.
    I try to imagine the level of horniness he's taken me before but it's just not there. It turned him on as I too, felt how tight I've become! But probably the truth is, my arse muscles were not willingly relaxing for him.
    I apologized and hated myself for maybe hurting his feelings a bit. I don't really like the feeling when that happens (not that it happens often) but since I've waited so long to have sex again, I wanted it to be special and mutually satisfying for me and the partner (who's not there yet).icon_neutral.gif
    I guess the point I would like to make is be always the fuckbuddy you were if you are to hook-up again with someone you haven't been tangible with for a while. Look after yourself and improve if you can. Shit, I wanted to tell him this but I lost my balls last night to do so. I could have at least been a friend to him. At least.
  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    May 19, 2008 10:25 AM GMT
    I make it a point not to hook up with old fuck buddies. Once you or he moves on, it's best to usually leave sleeping dogs in the past as it were. I know I had a run in with an ex fuck buddy and yes he let himself go as well but with the sporadic hours as a male nurse (please don't laugh it's an honest job) and working 12 hour shifts and the like. I sorta expected him to look worse then he was. I still didn't hook up with him though cause it's since been like 6 months since we had mind blowing sex and yes it was great, we both made each other moan like you wouldn't believe but it's a memory and it's best to leave it at that.

    Sorry to read about it not being as good as you hoped and you should have been honest and said "sorry man you let yourself go to far for me to sleep with you" and walked away.

    Also I had no idea you could be friends with your fuck buddies, I thought it was about the sex and nothing more.

    I guess there are many degrees of the term.icon_cool.gif
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    May 19, 2008 10:34 AM GMT
    inuman saidAlso I had no idea you could be friends with your fuck buddies, I thought it was about the sex and nothing more.
    I guess there are many degrees of the term.icon_cool.gif

    I don't know if it's just me or my being a bottom or both, but I do feel/develop a certain sense of affection for those who regularly penetrate me to some extent. Like a bond or somethingicon_neutral.gif
  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    May 19, 2008 10:45 AM GMT
    [/quote]
    I don't know if it's just me or my being a bottom or both, but I do feel/develop a certain sense of affection for those who regularly penetrate me to some extent. Like a bond or somethingicon_neutral.gif[/quote]

    I think like most things in life there are varied degrees of bonds when it comes to something, for example, if I had great sex with someone I'd have a shower with them and if they wanted to cuddle a bit sure but if it was just to get off then I'd get dressed and leave afterwards.

    Maybe bottoms have a different view on things (until a few months ago I was a strict top, a total of 4 times I've bottomed in my 28 years and that was within a month) so yeah I'm guessing that because the guys I've topped always felt they should have this 'connection' with me, where as I just was like yeah okay sure you let me fuck you why not cuddling or something.

    Again this is just my view on things, I'm sure there will be other points of view on this.

    Or you would hope otherwise it's just another dead thread icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2008 11:47 AM GMT
    inuman said...but if it was just to get off then I'd get dressed and leave afterwards.
    ...so yeah I'm guessing that because the guys I've topped always felt they should have this 'connection' with me, where as I just was like yeah okay sure you let me fuck you why not cuddling or something.

    Ooof! That subtle arrogance just gave me a hard on! LOL
    All I can say is it's difficult to find a fuckbuddy who you can just be--- period. I wrote this before but that line of Cameron Diaz's character in Vanilla Sky still lingers in my head, "When you fuck someone, your body makes a promise."
    Sometimes just finding a sex partner who you can be both mutually sexually attractive to --sober or drunk-- is asking for too much these days.
  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    May 19, 2008 6:31 PM GMT
    And it seems cause I don't drink or the like, finding one is going to be a bit harder for me icon_eek.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 19, 2008 6:43 PM GMT
    I guess a hookup with a fuckbuddy is meant to be an instance in time... when you turn it into more, the "time" can be the enemy.....

    And Zim.. a beer belly?

    icon_mad.gif

    LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2008 8:28 AM GMT
    I've learned it is best to leave the past - in the past.
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    May 20, 2008 7:29 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidI've learned it is best to leave the past - in the past.


    Words to live by! I've never had a situation like the OP described with a fuckbud but I have had a strange encounter with someone I dated. When we first met I'd say the one thing that really worked great was the mind blowing sex. Outside of that there was a lot missing and at the time that was the reason why we parted company. I had always embraced the best part of that short lived relationship ( the sex ) Flash fwd a little over a year later. What the fuck was I thinking? Just wasn't the same. I'm talking about that over all feeling of attraction. It wasn't even there. We tried but half way through the foreplay I gave up and apologized and got up and got dressed. So it goes. You can never go back. Best to leave it in the past.
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    May 20, 2008 7:49 PM GMT
    things leap out at me here

    what was a sexual attraction once became a romantasised dream. unfortunately unlike fairytales we get old and life can take its toll. so you either live for the moment or as others have said ya let sleping dogs lie.

    male nurse, why would anyone laugh? You have my deepest admiration.

    do bottoms get more emotionaly attached. yeh they sure do and besides I think most guys do if its meeting more than once its just bravado and machismo to say otherwise. depsite what people may claim humans have emotions and emotions to a degree dictate our actions. It only tends to be an animal distant act if you dont even know the persons name, but once that person becomes a humna being then you cant help but form bonds of one form or another.
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    May 20, 2008 8:33 PM GMT
    bfg1 saidmale nurse, why would anyone laugh? You have my deepest admiration.

    Where did that come fromicon_question.gif
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    May 20, 2008 8:35 PM GMT
    inuman's first post not you! I know you are a part time turkey inseminator!
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    May 20, 2008 10:18 PM GMT
    I dig guys in my past. Most of 'em I'd do again if I had the chance.

    That said, I can't understand the "body makes a promise" statement at all. There are no guarantees in this life and no one owes it to anyone but himself to stay in good shape (OK, maybe to a husband).

    Charlie
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2008 11:52 PM GMT

    Get a partner, ditch the fuck buddy. Maybe that will help. Imagine how much more energy you'll have for your workouts! lol...