You dont make enough $ for me.....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 8:12 AM GMT
    I know someone that said a guy broke up with him once because he didnt make enough $ for him to date him. What do you think about this?

    I think its a shame to put a price on love. What if you had someone you loved & they made good $ & lost it all does that mean youd leave them? No wonder there are more single people than ever these days....so many prerequisites for love & acceptance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 8:51 AM GMT
    Ive heard something to that effect before.. I was even dumped as a friend with a message like that....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 2:22 PM GMT
    At the dating stage, things are different.
    Still tacky to put it like that...."you don't make enough money" = Douchey.

    But a guy who wants to say travel the world is seeking a partner who is capable of going along.

    If the guy saying that is just a gold digger, consider it a courtesy that he self-screened.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 2:26 PM GMT
    It's one of many arbitrary things we as a society judge people by.

    Some judge based on body and looks, some on hair color, others on personality.

    Some will not date based on "what they have heard" about someone.

    As someone wiser then me once said "We are living in a material world..."

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 02, 2011 2:29 PM GMT
    Thats pathetic
    icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 4:24 PM GMT
    I think its normal to want to date someone who is financially successful. Don't parents want the same thing for all of their kids? My mom didn't want my sister to marry her first bf because he was a mechanic and she was making more money then him. They didn't get married and broke up for various reasons but this was one of the rasons. My sister then met someone else and married him. He is a banker who makes a good amount of money. She is currently not working because they have a 3 year old and she is pregnant with another child. She doesn't have to worry about going back to work to pay for all the family living expenses since he makes enough. I think they eventually want a third kid since she loves kids. They are happily married.

    I don't think my mom is horrible for not approving of the first BF. I can understand why given the current situation. If she was married to the mechanic her life right now would be a heck of a lot tougher. She would have to take care of my nephew while pregnant and work at the same time. I had to babysit my nephew for a day and my time was completely consumed making sure he is okay. I can't even imagine doing it while being preggo and working.

    There are tons of things I want for in the future with a partner. I want someone who is self-sufficient and can contribute. I wouldn't want the person to be living from paycheck to paycheck. How is that wrong?

    However, it is pretty insensitive to explicitly tell someone "you dont make enough money".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 4:29 PM GMT
    redbull saidI know someone that said a guy broke up with him once because he didnt make enough $ for him to date him. What do you think about this?

    I think its a shame to put a price on love. What if you had someone you loved & they made good $ does that mean youd leave them? No wonder there are more single people than ever these days....so many prerequisites for love & acceptance.


    Its easy to romanticize it and say it doesnt matter but it does. While a couple may "live on love" that doesnt put food on table and a roof over your head.

    It would very much matter me. I want to enjoy my life and want to share that with someone. I do not want to subsidize someone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 4:42 PM GMT
    I think it's easy to be too idealistic and say it doesn't matter, but unfortunately sometimes it does. Beaux provided a good example. Someone who wants to build a life with someone and travel, buy a house, etc. is probably looking for someone who can equally contribute to that dream rather than someone that has to be provided for.

    It happens among straight people also. A friend of mine is now going through a divorce because he and his wife of 20 years have taken different paths in life that has led them to different socio-economic statuses. He's worked a blue collar job all his life and maybe makes $40K a year. His wife on the other hand has earned an MBA, has just been promoted to a VP position at her company and is making nearly $300K. She's decided she now needs someone more on her level.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 4:44 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said

    Its easy to romanticize it and say it doesnt matter but it does. While a couple may "live on love" that doesnt put food on table and a roof over your head.

    It would very much matter me. I want to enjoy my life and want to share that with someone. I do not want to subsidize someone.


    nothing romantic about it...shit happens.

    ...so good luck with that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 4:45 PM GMT
    Global_Citizen saidI think it's easy to be too idealistic and say it doesn't matter, but unfortunately sometimes it does. Beaux provided a good example. Someone who wants to build a life with someone and travel, buy a house, etc. is probably looking for someone who can equally contribute to that dream rather than someone that has to be provided for.

    It happens among straight people also. A friend of mine is now going through a divorce because he and his wife of 20 years have taken different paths in life that has led them to different socio-economic statuses. He's worked a blue collar job all his life and maybe makes $40K a year. His wife on the other hand has earned an MBA, has just been promoted to a VP position at her company and is making nearly $300K. She's decided she now needs someone more on her level.


    On the bright side your friend is probably going to get sweet alimony icon_smile.gif.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 4:46 PM GMT
    Trollileo said

    Edit:
    I forgot to add that if it does matter then I'm definitely going to be forever alone.


    icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 4:49 PM GMT
    I don't care necessarily how much they earn, but I want them to be good with money and not a financial mess. It is not how much you earn, it is how you spend it.

    I do think it would be hard to date someone who lets say works at Wal-Mart making 10.00 an hour if you are making 100k as a professional. You are on very different lifestyles.

    I want a family someday, but never want to stay at home with kids, so I could def see myself with someone who stays home because I value that in raising kids versus having to put them in daycare.

    Money is like 50% of the reason for breakups, so it is very important obviously.

    Don't cosign for anyone though....Suze Orman always says that...random, but even a boyfriend forget it. She'd be like denied boyfriend!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 4:52 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said
    Dallasfan824 said

    Its easy to romanticize it and say it doesnt matter but it does. While a couple may "live on love" that doesnt put food on table and a roof over your head.

    It would very much matter me. I want to enjoy my life and want to share that with someone. I do not want to subsidize someone.


    nothing romantic about it...shit happens.

    ...so good luck with that.


    I have no idea what that means.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 4:52 PM GMT
    What's the point of going out with a man if they can't support you ? Money isn't everything by any means but for successful long term relationships someone better be bringing in the dough.

    And I have to say, it's one of the 'qualities' I look for in potential long term partners. My mother always told me that if I was going to date men make sure that they can at least look after me and won't be asking me for cash.
  • kuroshiro

    Posts: 786

    Oct 02, 2011 4:54 PM GMT
    I tell people I don't have enough money to go out on a date. Somehow that pisses people off... they think it's an excuse for me to blow them off. LoL!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 4:55 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Jmoney5678 saidI don't care necessarily how much they earn, but I want them to be good with money and not a financial mess. It is not how much you earn, it is how you spend it.
    What about someone like me where every penny I get goes toward survival and school?
    Thats a unique situation. You are investing in your future and at your age, you are supposed to be doing that. I took the OP to mean someone who is of the age where a person should be a professional or pulling in some type of income but isnt. Of course there are tons of circumstances that could apply to his comment so its really hard to answer it specifically.

    still waiting for those pics btw
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 4:57 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    whateveryo saidWhat's the point of going out with a man if they can't support you ? Money isn't everything by any means but for successful long term relationships someone better be bringing in the dough.

    And I have to say, it's one of the 'qualities' I look for in potential long term partners. My mother always told me that if I was going to date men make sure that they can at least look after me and won't be asking me for cash.
    Do you really want to be the guy asking them for cash?


    Why not, my ex used to love spending money on me and was happy to have me on his arm. I'd do the same if I was much wealthier than my partner. Money is there to be spent.

    And I never asked for 'cash', just shit I wanted icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 4:58 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Dallasfan824 said
    Trollileo said
    Jmoney5678 saidI don't care necessarily how much they earn, but I want them to be good with money and not a financial mess. It is not how much you earn, it is how you spend it.
    What about someone like me where every penny I get goes toward survival and school?
    Thats a unique situation. You are investing in your future and at your age, you are supposed to be doing that. I took the OP to mean someone who is of the age where a person should be a professional or pulling in some type of income but isnt. Of course there are tons of circumstances that could apply to his comment so its really hard to answer it specifically.
    I'm a music major... The odds of me earning more than $20,000 a year are incredibly slim.


    If you dont make it as a musician. Doesnt mean you wont and doesnt mean you wont do something else. Did you know I work in the music business? More stuff we have in common. But I cant play a note. Which is why I am on the business side.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 5:00 PM GMT
    whateveryo said
    Trollileo said
    whateveryo saidWhat's the point of going out with a man if they can't support you ? Money isn't everything by any means but for successful long term relationships someone better be bringing in the dough.

    And I have to say, it's one of the 'qualities' I look for in potential long term partners. My mother always told me that if I was going to date men make sure that they can at least look after me and won't be asking me for cash.
    Do you really want to be the guy asking them for cash?


    Why not, my ex used to love spending money on me and was happy to have me on his arm. I'd do the same if I was much wealthier than my partner. Money is there to be spent.

    And I never asked for 'cash', just shit I wanted icon_smile.gif


    ok, i think you just crossed the gold digging line.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 5:03 PM GMT
    Global_Citizen saidI think it's easy to be too idealistic and say it doesn't matter, but unfortunately sometimes it does. Beaux provided a good example. Someone who wants to build a life with someone and travel, buy a house, etc. is probably looking for someone who can equally contribute to that dream rather than someone that has to be provided for.

    It happens among straight people also. A friend of mine is now going through a divorce because he and his wife of 20 years have taken different paths in life that has led them to different socio-economic statuses. He's worked a blue collar job all his life and maybe makes $40K a year. His wife on the other hand has earned an MBA, has just been promoted to a VP position at her company and is making nearly $300K. She's decided she now needs someone more on her level.


    I hope that's not why they broke up. That just sounds very....elitist or something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 5:03 PM GMT
    AvadaKedavra said
    whateveryo said
    Trollileo said
    whateveryo saidWhat's the point of going out with a man if they can't support you ? Money isn't everything by any means but for successful long term relationships someone better be bringing in the dough.

    And I have to say, it's one of the 'qualities' I look for in potential long term partners. My mother always told me that if I was going to date men make sure that they can at least look after me and won't be asking me for cash.
    Do you really want to be the guy asking them for cash?


    Why not, my ex used to love spending money on me and was happy to have me on his arm. I'd do the same if I was much wealthier than my partner. Money is there to be spent.

    And I never asked for 'cash', just shit I wanted icon_smile.gif


    ok, i think you just crossed the gold digging line.
    yep
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 5:07 PM GMT
    Ha well I didn't hold a gun to their head they wanted to do it for me.

    What's wrong with actively seeking out someone who can provide you with a certain level of security ?

    And I wanna preface everything I said with the fact that I don't ask everyone I'm interested in what their fucking bank balance is. Love and physical attraction come first.

    If I was gold digging I'd go out with older wealthier guys but every partner ive had has been close to my age-ish.

    Plus I'm not young enough/gorgeous enough to play the gold digging game.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 5:08 PM GMT
    whateveryo said
    Trollileo said
    whateveryo saidWhat's the point of going out with a man if they can't support you ? Money isn't everything by any means but for successful long term relationships someone better be bringing in the dough.

    And I have to say, it's one of the 'qualities' I look for in potential long term partners. My mother always told me that if I was going to date men make sure that they can at least look after me and won't be asking me for cash.
    Do you really want to be the guy asking them for cash?


    Why not, my ex used to love spending money on me and was happy to have me on his arm. I'd do the same if I was much wealthier than my partner. Money is there to be spent.

    And I never asked for 'cash', just shit I wanted icon_smile.gif


    Kid, you just made me throw up in my mouth,. Besides which, unless you get gay married & have shit put in writing the man can bounce you out the door without the life/money you believe you should be allowed.. And to be clear, I've said the same thing to a str8 female friend of mine.icon_eek.gif
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Oct 02, 2011 5:09 PM GMT
    My last partner informed me early in the dating process that he was "High Maintenance." I assure you he was high maintenance and remains so as a close friend. icon_biggrin.gif

    One of the greatest joys one can have is to be able to "exercise" the gifts success brings one by making real those little dreams of others. (An example would be a trip to NYC to utilize a custom jeweler for platinum wedding bands. Or as I've done recently, allowing a young lady to attend college by footing the bill.)

    The breakup you describe could have been due to what I call "a mark of entry," where in effect the guy was saying "you are not good enough for me becuase you don't make X dollars;" or it could be a case where the guy was "high maintenance" and full well expected those needs to be taken care of.

    I won't judge that here. Those issues are part of the relationship between two individuals. I suspect -- and you can answer for yourself -- that the real complaint that many of you will have with this post it that you truly value yourselves based upon material welath and your pissed becuase you don't meet your own grade.

    Everyone has a basis for their personal attacks. I have been subject to many of those on RealJock. And that basis my friends is the bais you are going to have to live with, not I.
  • Diceroll

    Posts: 224

    Oct 02, 2011 5:19 PM GMT
    I'm not saying that money isn't ever an issue for couples, but if I met someone who earned a lot less than me but was perfect for me in other ways, I would at least try to make things work between us. People give up on relationships too quickly these days IMO. Me and my ex split up after four years for many reasons and money was one of the main ones, but we can at least look back on the relationship and say that we tried our best to make things work.

    I agree with what an earlier poster said - being response with the money you have is more important than what you actually earn for me.