Confused.

  • Crocodile

    Posts: 18

    Oct 02, 2011 8:52 PM GMT
    I will try to make this to the point.

    Ok so i met this guy the other night. We went to a field,we talked and started to cuddle and kiss. We then decided to move because we where a distance from a skate park and it was getting noisy.

    We went back to the car and we drove to find a quite place and we did. We got to know each other alittle, he said he was single for some time because he got hurt a couple of times in the past i think, so he sorted just wanted a 'mate with benefits' and asking about favourite bands, films etc.

    After some time it was getting cold and we went back to the car. We where kissing and cuddling and some time near in the went we started giving each other bj's. Also he was saying something of the lines of no promises no regrets, something that Brian Kinney would say lol.

    Went home and started chatting and flirting on Grindr, today he gave me his number. I am starting to really like him because he is nice and we have similer interests. Also i wanted to see him again he said dont worry you will.

    So

    But does a mate with benefits just include sex?

    Am i being naive and getting hopes up in thinking about something more will happen out of this?

    Does he just want sex?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 02, 2011 11:55 PM GMT
    He doesn't want something complicated, he want the right to change his mind about you without having to enter a drama.
    If you are cool with that, well, just enjoy.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Oct 02, 2011 11:59 PM GMT
    Crocodile saidI will try to make this to the point.

    Ok so i met this guy the other night. We went to a field,we talked and started to cuddle and kiss. We then decided to move because we where a distance from a skate park and it was getting noisy.

    We went back to the car and we drove to find a quite place and we did. We got to know each other alittle, he said he was single for some time because he got hurt a couple of times in the past i think, so he sorted just wanted a 'mate with benefits' and asking about favourite bands, films etc.

    After some time it was getting cold and we went back to the car. We where kissing and cuddling and some time near in the went we started giving each other bj's. Also he was saying something of the lines of no promises no regrets, something that Brian Kinney would say lol.

    Went home and started chatting and flirting on Grindr, today he gave me his number. I am starting to really like him because he is nice and we have similer interests. Also i wanted to see him again he said dont worry you will.

    So

    But does a mate with benefits just include sex?

    Am i being naive and getting hopes up in thinking about something more will happen out of this?

    Does he just want sex?
    oh boy, you are falling for a guy who is not looking for interested in anything other than sex. i think you need to try and keep your feelings in check buddy. if not you will drive him away then you will not have anything
  • Crocodile

    Posts: 18

    Oct 03, 2011 5:28 PM GMT
    Thanks for the advice guys icon_smile.gif, i understand both where you coming from.

    I want to try and change his mind, i dont want there to be drama. Sex is fine yes but i think we both could use each other. I want to prove to him that i care and wont hurt him. Your right Tuffguync if i dont control my feelings then i might lose him.
  • wpc56

    Posts: 45

    Oct 04, 2011 6:38 AM GMT
    Sounds like its just friend with benefit... but I know of a guy back in the day who was waiting for his bf to complete his PHD elsewhere and join him back here in Canada.

    So understandably, they had an agreement for open relationship... though I think the limit was no anal?

    Anyways, later he had several friends with benefit, one after another... they all understand the rules, played and go their separate way.

    But the last guy stayed and I don't really know what happened, (persistence, actually being a good match or being a nice guy or what) he decided to break it off with his long distance BF and couple up with his last friend with benefit.

    I heard his long distance bf bought a ticket back immediately and begged to get back together... didn't work.

    I think there may have been some underlying issues that were not resolved... but last I heard the guy and his friend with benefit are still together 4 years later.

    I guess my point is that, if you are sincerely interested in him. Obviously let him know, but do not put PRESSURE on him... nothing turn the guy away faster than another desperate and needy guy. Show him through action that you are interested in more and let him see that you are sincere. Give him time to think, he may rethink his position or he may not... but that at point you should know better whether he's still interested or not.
  • Crocodile

    Posts: 18

    Oct 04, 2011 5:56 PM GMT
    wpc56 said
    I guess my point is that, if you are sincerely interested in him. Obviously let him know, but do not put PRESSURE on him... nothing turn the guy away faster than another desperate and needy guy. Show him through action that you are interested in more and let him see that you are sincere. Give him time to think, he may rethink his position or he may not... but that at point you should know better whether he's still interested or not.




    He knows now. Like he said we are both in different points in life. We where talking about it on Skype. He likes and cares about me as i do the same for him. it's going to stay as that for now i guess.