Age differences... How important are they?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    How much is too much? Have you ever liked someone, but held back because of a difference in age? What do you think is a good age range to stay within in order to maintain a "healthy" relationship?
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    Oct 04, 2011 5:34 AM GMT
    VERY important. If I'm with a guy that's not at least 6 years older than me, I have a hard time calling him Daddy.
  • wpc56

    Posts: 45

    Oct 04, 2011 6:22 AM GMT
    Very important.

    I mean if I start dating someone who talks about Harry Potter -> Twilight -> into Bieber, I'll kill myself....

    Older guys always have more "power" in relationship because they have more experience and know how to manipulate the younger partner.

    But hey, this is under the assumption you're looking for an equal and not a daddy. (nothing wrong with that)
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    Oct 04, 2011 7:14 AM GMT
    alex1990 saidHow much is too much? Have you ever liked someone, but held back because of a difference in age? What do you think is a good age range to stay within in order to maintain a "healthy" relationship?



    I didn't give a rats ass when the first guy I went with turned out to be almost 20 years older than me and I gave less than a rats ass about what other people would think. You should do the same and stop living your life to fit in with other peopls "expectations"

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    Oct 04, 2011 10:29 AM GMT
    I heard this arithmetic from a sibling one time and it's actually been pretty useful for me. Whoever is the oldest, they're allowed to date someone half their age +7 years. Any gap larger than that becomes weird and you can't really have a good dating relationship (for all the reasons age difference makes a difference).

    I think it's pretty useful so far for me... Age differences smooth over the older one gets and the gap doesn't seem so huge when you're floating into your 50s and 60s. Early on the gap matter much more.
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    Oct 04, 2011 1:33 PM GMT
    I definitely have held back before. I met this guy that was super hot and very sweet. I was thinking he was maybe 30 at the oldest. When I found out he was 42 I quickly pumped the brakes.

    I kinda wish I didn't though because he was definitely a good guy. Oh well, you live and you learn!

    I think karma is coming around full circle because this most recent guy I met is about to turn 30 and he is hesItant because he thinks I am too young. Ohhh well again!
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    Oct 04, 2011 1:43 PM GMT
    I fall for guys in their 40s way too often. Just can't seem to meet many good guys around my age unless they live halfway across the country : (

    I think the older guys are often scared or hesitant to b with me once they find out I am almost 20 years younger than them. Still my belief is that every relationship is individual and no hard and fast rules can really tell you what's right.
  • Scriven

    Posts: 61

    Oct 05, 2011 2:12 AM GMT
    wpc56 saidVery important.

    I mean if I start dating someone who talks about Harry Potter -> Twilight -> into Bieber, I'll kill myself....

    Older guys always have more "power" in relationship because they have more experience and know how to manipulate the younger partner.

    But hey, this is under the assumption you're looking for an equal and not a daddy. (nothing wrong with that)


    Yeah, that's not only the case.

    I'm 34 and my boyfriend is 19, and let me tell you that I'm not entirely able to manipulate him. A lot of it depends on the personality of the people involved. I was a top before I met him, and he's far more decisive, and dominating, than I'd expect someone his age to be.

    This new generation is different. my BF has has been in steady relationships, both straight and gay, since he was 14. He's not afraid of sex, knows what he wants and has no problem attempting to bend me to his will. Yes, there are a lot of submissive, twinky boys out there, but the word "Always" is a bit of an overstatement.
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    Oct 05, 2011 2:36 AM GMT
    I honestly don't think age differences is a huge deal...well within reason. An 18 year old with a 60 year old would freak me out. But I see nothing wrong with lets say a 22 year old dating a 40 year old or w/e.

    It all comes down to compatibility. If it works, it works. People shouldn't be hung up with a number.
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    Oct 05, 2011 2:44 AM GMT
    Hmmm. Well I like feeling comfortable when I'm with someone and age does factor in there for me. I find myself generally attracted to those within 5-7 years of me for simple and practical reasons.

    You'd have to be a very very very very very very very very very very very special person to have me step outside of my comfort/commonality zone. I suppose it makes as much of a difference as anything else when it comes to attraction like skin, body type/build, personality, background, appearance, smell, mentality, etc...

    Everyone has a preference and knows what suits them best until proven otherwise.
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    Oct 05, 2011 2:50 AM GMT
    I prefer wine and cheese that's been aged a few years.
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    Oct 05, 2011 3:08 AM GMT
    I'm usually into older guys but I've never had a relationship with one. I don't think the age difference is a big deal for casual hookups but, socially, I imagine the generation gap makes it harder for younger and older guys to connect. I guess it comes down to the individuals.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 05, 2011 3:18 AM GMT
    I've always dated younger guys anywhere from 25 years younger than me on up. Younger guys can be a lot of fun sometimes...Younger.gif
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    Oct 05, 2011 3:21 AM GMT
    No one younger than me icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 05, 2011 3:27 AM GMT
    Ugh. In my 30's, I focused on my career.

    Now, I'm chasing a guy in his mid-30's. Guess what his focus is?


    My sister is an interesting case. She's been married to a guy about 20 years her senior for close to 20 years. They both have the same taste in music.

    Sigh.

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    Oct 05, 2011 3:28 AM GMT
    Due to my youthful looks I get younger guys going after me. I don't consider age to be a factor unless they're under 21, must be able to enjoy a fine wine or drink! The current guy I'm talking with is 23 and that doesn't seem to be an issue at all.

    Maturity level can be all over the spectrum regardless of age, give it a shot and If you're uncomfortable then be friends.

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    Oct 05, 2011 3:35 AM GMT
    If the guy is older, the age difference doesn't matter to me really. But if he's younger than me, 6 years or so is the limit... otherwise, it feels like I'm molesting a kid.
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    Oct 05, 2011 4:09 AM GMT
    I prefer not to exceed age difference of 10-15years. I have dated guys who were older than that but came to a conclusion that the age difference was too great.
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    Oct 05, 2011 4:10 AM GMT
    My best relationship by far was with a guy twenty years my senior. If I hadn't decided to move to America, I'd still be with him.

    I'd rather set up cutoff criteria on things that matter to me: honesty, personality, intelligence, humor, spontaneity, adventuresome spirit. After I do that, there are two guys left: one is a looker that is 20 years younger or older than me, the other is my age but... well... you know... brown bag over the head? icon_biggrin.gif
  • Jordan36

    Posts: 4

    Oct 05, 2011 6:37 AM GMT
    I think like most comments I've read here that age difference is nothing but a number. Live your life yo make you and the man your with happy and yo hell with what everyone else thinks. Live your life for you, not everyone else, cause if you live for everyone else you will never be happy..
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    Oct 05, 2011 6:49 AM GMT
    Thanks guys... I really enjoyed reading all of your comments and views on the topic. I'm really starting to like a good friend of mine. He's about 12 years older than I am, but we get along really well. I know age is an important factor to him just because of previous experiences gone wrong. I just haven't wanted to go beyond the friend zone until he feels fully comfortable.

    Is it bad to hope things will work out, or should I just consider him a lost case? (In terms of a relationship)
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    Oct 05, 2011 12:44 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidVERY important. If I'm with a guy that's not at least 6 years older than me, I have a hard time calling him Daddy.


    I totally agree. It would be creepy to call someone who is less than 6 years older than you Daddy. You'll have to tell him "I love you brother" as you plow his ass...
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    Oct 05, 2011 12:49 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidI heard this arithmetic from a sibling one time and it's actually been pretty useful for me. Whoever is the oldest, they're allowed to date someone half their age +7 years. Any gap larger than that becomes weird and you can't really have a good dating relationship (for all the reasons age difference makes a difference).

    I think it's pretty useful so far for me... Age differences smooth over the older one gets and the gap doesn't seem so huge when you're floating into your 50s and 60s. Early on the gap matter much more.


    So I'm in your dating range, huh? icon_wink.gif

    Age is important, but it's only because it's a crude measure of maturity. I do want to date people who are in similar developmental stages as I am...so if a guy is in his 30s but is also dealing with shifting careers and doesn't have kids, then I'd be cool with that. But then again, a guy who's settled and and has a couple of kids doesn't seem like a bad idea. When I was 22 or so, that probably wouldn't have been a good match.
  • fitdude62

    Posts: 294

    Oct 05, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    It is never about "age" it's about maturity and communication. Mutual respect also plays a big part.

    Peace
  • Crocodile

    Posts: 18

    Oct 05, 2011 5:01 PM GMT
    Age isnt my biggiest concern, but i wouldent want to date a guy who is like 30 years older than me though. It's more about if we click and if we have alot in commmon.