The ending of my coming out story

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    Oct 04, 2011 12:38 PM GMT
    I have been out to my friends for quite some time now. If you remember my thread about coming out to them a while back, you will remember that all of their reactions were amazing and my friendships just grew stronger.

    Well I have still been in the closet to family up until this past weekend. Everytime I would try to muster up the courage to come out, someone in my family would make a gay joke or drop the F-bomb (and it's not fuck).

    My family is super conservative, have never been behind gay rights, and they are pretty strong in their Christianity. Top it all of with a high-strung dad that wants his kids to be perfect and it was a recipe for disaster (or so I thought).

    Last weekend I bit the bullet and came out to my family. I expected tears and yelling but got the exact opposite. My mom told me she thinks we are born this way. My dad found out through my mom since both of us anticipated a very negative reaction. My dad called me and very calmly said he loves me and wants me to be happy. He said that everyone needs to find someone in their life and whether it is a man or woman doesn't matter.

    I am still completely shocked! It is just absolutely amazing. My family is the shit!

    So now that I am finally completely 100% out, I can tell you all that it gets WAY better! icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 04, 2011 12:41 PM GMT
    Congratulations!

    More often than not, our fear of what will happen far exceeds the reality.
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    Oct 04, 2011 12:53 PM GMT
    creyente saidCongratulations!

    More often than not, our fear of what will happen far exceeds the reality.


    Definitely! I think we hear some horror stories and believe that is what always happens.

    I figure maybe if I can talk about my positive experience of coming out, it can inspire those in the same situation I was to muster up the courage and come out. I did not have one negative reaction when I came out. I think all of my relationships with people are stronger than before
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    Oct 04, 2011 1:24 PM GMT
    Congrats! I have only told my best friend from college, he took it really good. It helps that he suspected when we were in college or so he told me. Telling my family is something I Have wanted to do but am beyond scared to do because of some of the same reasons you were. My family is not a very conservative family but they are strong in their Chirstianity. Which is one reason I had a hard time at first myself. I hope I can post a good story like yours someday.
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    Oct 04, 2011 1:29 PM GMT
    Wow congrats. That is so good and am so happy for you. I just have to tell my parents now and hope that goes half as well as it did for u.
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    Oct 04, 2011 1:36 PM GMT
    We are all so happy for you.
    Way to step up and be the man.
    The journey has just begun my friend.
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    Oct 04, 2011 1:48 PM GMT
    I don't remember it because I didn't read nor will I because I am lazy.

    That being said, it is always a good thing when we live more truthfully and take steps towards an existance that is happy, joyous and free.

    Blessings to you.
  • gcoastmark

    Posts: 83

    Oct 04, 2011 4:37 PM GMT
    KSUOWL saidI have been out to my friends for quite some time now. If you remember my thread about coming out to them a while back, you will remember that all of their reactions were amazing and my friendships just grew stronger.

    Well I have still been in the closet to family up until this past weekend. Everytime I would try to muster up the courage to come out, someone in my family would make a gay joke or drop the F-bomb (and it's not fuck).

    My family is super conservative, have never been behind gay rights, and they are pretty strong in their Christianity. Top it all of with a high-strung dad that wants his kids to be perfect and it was a recipe for disaster (or so I thought).

    Last weekend I bit the bullet and came out to my family. I expected tears and yelling but got the exact opposite. My mom told me she thinks we are born this way. My dad found out through my mom since both of us anticipated a very negative reaction. My dad called me and very calmly said he loves me and wants me to be happy. He said that everyone needs to find someone in their life and whether it is a man or woman doesn't matter.

    I am still completely shocked! It is just absolutely amazing. My family is the shit!

    So now that I am finally completely 100% out, I can tell you all that it gets WAY better! icon_smile.gif




    That's awesome! Congrats man!!!
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Oct 04, 2011 4:38 PM GMT
    I'm so glad to hear your coming out story went well. Your story is a great example of why things would change so rapidly if all of us lived our lives openly and honestly.
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    Oct 04, 2011 4:40 PM GMT
    Excellent! I have heard similar stories before, and I get a lump in my throat every time. Congrats!
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    Oct 04, 2011 4:56 PM GMT
    Congrats! Don't you feel like all the weight has finally been lifted off your shoulders?


    I came out to my family this year as well, although I am sure they already knew. I've been caught one too many times in my younger years surfing gay sites. Even though my mother is still in denial and thinks I am going through "a phase" and my brother is still somewhat homophobic, their attitude towards me as a person are still same as they have been before. Best part is I no longer have to hide or lie to them whenever I go out and meet someone.


    I am not completely out yet though, I still haven't told my circle of friends. I am still not sure how they are going to take it and I figured they don't really need to know that part about me until I have something more serious and substantial going on in my life, like a relationship. And at that point, it will really be up to them to accept it or not. Although I am sure they are already suspecting it as well.
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    Oct 04, 2011 5:01 PM GMT
    Congrats! I was just about to mix a drink and head to the beach, but now I'll mix two drinks and have one for you. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Oct 04, 2011 5:04 PM GMT
    Way to go! So happy that you got such a positive response. It speaks highly of you and your parents.

    It take courage and you did it. Now you can be truly authentic and honest in your life. Your relationships will actually get stronger because you can be yourself completely instead of building walls to protect your secret.

    Thanks for sharing. Way to be a role model for others.
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    Oct 04, 2011 5:04 PM GMT
    Wow, this brought tears to my eyes. I'm happy for you. The love of parents should be unconditional, often it's not but for you clearly it is. What great story. Congratulations!!!!
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    Oct 04, 2011 5:05 PM GMT
    That is so cool. The more people who come out, the more it becomes less of a big deal, and the more heartwarming stories we get. Congrats on having an awesome family.
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    Oct 04, 2011 5:13 PM GMT
    like this post icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 04, 2011 5:23 PM GMT
    musicbox89 saidCongrats! Don't you feel like all the weight has finally been lifted off your shoulders?


    I came out to my family this year as well, although I am sure they already knew. I've been caught one too many times in my younger years surfing gay sites. Even though my mother is still in denial and thinks I am going through "a phase" and my brother is still somewhat homophobic, their attitude towards me as a person are still same as they have been before. Best part is I no longer have to hide or lie to them whenever I go out and meet someone.


    I am not completely out yet though, I still haven't told my circle of friends. I am still not sure how they are going to take it and I figured they don't really need to know that part about me until I have something more serious and substantial going on in my life, like a relationship. And at that point, it will really be up to them to accept it or not. Although I am sure they are already suspecting it as well.


    yeah it feels great!

    honestly man, i had the same attitude about coming out to my family. i was going to wait until i had a reason to, like when a meet someone special. but then i got to thinking, being in the closet could be a big thing standing in the way of me and that special person. it was kinda this moment that made me think "what am i waiting for?" so i just went ahead and did it. i know i made the right decision.

    If your friends are true friends, they will not care one bit. I have a huge group of straight guy friends and not one of them cared. I actually was planning to live with one and wanted to come out before we decided for sure. He didn't care and we moved in with one another a month ago.
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    Oct 04, 2011 5:25 PM GMT
    Thanks everyone for such positive responses!!

    It really does feel great to be completely 100% open since I was only open to friends until now.
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    Oct 04, 2011 7:37 PM GMT
    Congratulations, man! We're all proud of you. icon_biggrin.gif
  • cageym

    Posts: 99

    Oct 04, 2011 7:51 PM GMT
    I needed to hear some good news like this today. Seems like we sometimes assume the worst about our parents, forgetting that a lot of who and what we are came from them and not out of thin air.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Oct 04, 2011 7:57 PM GMT
    You were very fortunate. Me experience was just the opposite.

    I still advise people not to come out to their families until they are financially independent of them and have a good support system.
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Oct 04, 2011 8:11 PM GMT
    Your parents will never cease to amaze you.
    Just remember to choose your friends and partners wisely and be smart always.
    Congrats, welcome to THE FAMILY. In honor of Pride Atlanta 2011, happy Pride. You can now celebrate openly.