October 2011 Dating Policy

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2011 2:27 PM GMT
    I'm relatively new to dating and I've been learning from my mistakes. I was hoping the mature members here could help me add to this list.


    Rule 1: Do not text a guy first if he never initiates conversation.

    Rule 2: Do not meet a guy more than 20 minutes away unless he travels halfway.

    Rule 3: Don't trust a guy, he's still a stranger.

    Rule 4: Do not put out on the first date.

    Rule 5: Don't pay for the entire date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2011 2:31 PM GMT
    By the look of that list, the dates are going to be far and few between.

    Rule 6. dont be so angry.
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    Oct 04, 2011 2:34 PM GMT
    I feel like the problem with rule 1 is that there is a possibility that they are waiting for you to text them. . .I do this all the time, I get so caught up in who initiated conversation last that I will totally come off as uninterested if I don't talk to the guy for a week.

    And with number 5, if they ask you out. . .they kind of should pay unless you both agree that you will split the bill
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    Oct 04, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    7Famark saidI feel like the problem with rule 1 is that there is a possibility that they are waiting for you to text them. . .I do this all the time, I get so caught up in who initiated conversation last that I will totally come off as uninterested if I don't talk to the guy for a week.

    And with number 6, if they ask you out. . .they kind of should pay unless you both understand you will split it


    I text a guy first all the time. Like this one guy I'm talking too seems super happy when I text him, but he never texts me first. He has to meet me halfway. If he was excited to talk to me as he put off then he'd initiate conversation first. For example last time we text I told him to let me know if he wanted to hangout this friday. He said "I'll check my schedule. That sounds good though. ((:" I said "Alright. Let me know icon_biggrin.gif" that was september 29, 2011. I have no plans to ever text him again.
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    Oct 04, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    Rule #6: Stop making rules based on limited experience.
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    Oct 04, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    mynamesadonis said
    7Famark saidI feel like the problem with rule 1 is that there is a possibility that they are waiting for you to text them. . .I do this all the time, I get so caught up in who initiated conversation last that I will totally come off as uninterested if I don't talk to the guy for a week.

    And with number 6, if they ask you out. . .they kind of should pay unless you both understand you will split it


    I text a guy first all the time. Like this one guy I'm talking too seems super happy when I text him, but he never texts me first. He has to meet me halfway. If he was excited to talk to me as he put off then he'd initiate conversation first. For example last time we text I told him to let me know if he wanted to hangout this friday. He said "I'll check my schedule. That sounds good though. ((:" I said "Alright. Let me know icon_biggrin.gif" that was september 29, 2011. I have no plans to ever text him again.


    Good move. I think you figured out where he is at and no point barking up that tree.
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    Oct 04, 2011 2:41 PM GMT
    SFYogi saidRule #7: Stop making rules based on limited experience.


    ftfy
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    Oct 04, 2011 2:42 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said
    Good move. I think you figured out where he is at and no point barking up that tree.


    Yeah I can refocus my energy on a different guy now
  • AntiHer017

    Posts: 24

    Oct 04, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    You should read the book, He's Just Not That Into You. It def helps. I think it is okay to have rules but use them as a guideline you dont have to be strict about it. No Shade.
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    Oct 04, 2011 2:52 PM GMT
    With hard-and-fast rules such as those, you'll end up an old maid. jk

    Why so many people don't just relax and enjoy, I'll never understand. If you text someone and they never initiate a text, email, or phone conversation, that's a good hint that they are not interested, for whatever reason. Don't keep wasting time on them. Move on to the next one.

    Who says you can't be dating more than one guy at a time until you commit to a monogamous relationship?

    You're young. Get rid of the rules and enjoy your youth. Sooner or later, the right man will come along, especially with your handsome and youthful looks.
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    Oct 04, 2011 3:05 PM GMT
    Why limit yourself? You should go out and have fun.

    Go surfing bro
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2011 3:16 PM GMT
    Rule 8. You are young. Stop worrying so much.

    Rule 9. Not everyone is going to like you so get prepared for disappoinment, heartbreak and rejection.

    Rule 10. Stop living by lists of rules and your life will be much more fulfilling as humans are multidimensional beings and lists are so 1-D.
  • spongebob

    Posts: 13

    Oct 04, 2011 3:26 PM GMT
    Rule 11. Relax a little and stop making rules. things either workout or they don't. icon_cool.gif
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    Oct 04, 2011 3:31 PM GMT
    You have to take things as they come. When you go on a date dont pigeon hole a guy into a certain something (like a relationship.) For example, casual sex with the right guy can be oodles of fun! If I didnt put out on those first "dates" then I wouldnt be having the oodles of fun sex I get now :-)
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    Oct 04, 2011 3:33 PM GMT
    Rule 12. Get a fake ID so you can go to gay bars and not deal with rules 1 and 2
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Oct 04, 2011 3:54 PM GMT
    Rules were made to be broken. Better to just have some basic guidelines that are adaptable to how the situation unfolds. Every dating situation is unique, so just be yourself, relax, and go with the flow.
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    Oct 04, 2011 4:05 PM GMT
    Forget the rulea and just have fun. If you make rules youre just goinf to make up excuses to break the rules. Go with the flow and juat expect to learn about other people. Whatever happens happens, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. But you have to pull the stick out of your ass before you it makes you jaded. Men suck but theyre also a lot of fun. There's good and bad in everyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2011 4:13 PM GMT
    Rule 1: Do not text a guy first if he never initiates conversation.
    You're not being needy saying hi to a guy. Start with a compliment. Im not a fan of "I think you're cute" or complimenting them on their dick or ass lol.

    Rule 2: Do not meet a guy more than 20 minutes away unless he travels halfway.
    It depends on if you both have cars.

    Rule 3: Don't trust a guy, he's still a stranger.
    This is a good rule. You'll learn how much to trust him after a few dates.

    Rule 4: Do not put out on the first date
    To me this rule means less and less as you get older. To me having fun is one thing and showing love is another.

    Rule 5: Don't pay for the entire date.
    As someone already pointed out, If a guy asks you out, he usually pays for a meal unless you discuss it beforehand.

    Rule 6: NEVER let him talk you into unprotected sex NEVER.
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    Oct 04, 2011 5:11 PM GMT
    mynamesadonis said
    Rule 1: Do not text a guy first if he never initiates conversation.

    Rule 2: Do not meet a guy more than 20 minutes away unless he travels halfway.

    Rule 3: Don't trust a guy, he's still a stranger.

    Rule 4: Do not put out on the first date.

    Rule 5: Don't pay for the entire date.


    I am still trying to learn the rules of dating as well. Rule #1,2,5 don't need to be that strict I don't think. I tried bending rule 4 by putting out BEFORE a date is even established. Yeah, not a good idea.

    Honestly lots of guys are different so one set of rules does not apply to all. Just do what you want. You will make mistakes and learn from them (that is what I am in the process of doing now). Example: if a guy wants you to come cuddle with him, it never means just cuddle. That happened with two different guys in the past few weeks. I figured after the second time, there was a pretty distinct trend going on there haha
  • benarw

    Posts: 128

    Oct 04, 2011 7:44 PM GMT
    spongebob saidRule 11. Relax a little and stop making rules. things either workout or they don't. icon_cool.gif


    This! Seriously, you're too young to be having such strict rules about dating. The best relationships develop when you're not looking for them. You seem to be putting all your energy on finding "the one" and by doing that you're doomed to fail. Too much pressure.

    Relax. Enjoy life. There are no "rules" to dating.

    Keep going out on dates, but if there's no romantic chemistry remember friendship is an option too. Some of my good friends are guys I initially went on a date with but we realized we didn't click in that way but still had lots in common and it's developed into great friendships.
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    Oct 05, 2011 5:53 AM GMT
    No rules, just right.

    Seriously, make sure you fuck or get sucked off BEFORE going out on a lunch or dinner date. It makes the conversation so much more natural and intimate once you've broken the ice with some nasty before-the-first-date sex. Really. Try it. It works.

    However, you've got to know that the guy is really into you. You can tell. They get all googly-eyed when the meet you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2011 6:04 AM GMT
    Get rid of rule 4.

    You will thank yourself later.

    Rule 5 is a good one though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2011 6:22 AM GMT
    Rules are meant to be broken so just live life and be yourself and if yourself puts out on the first date then so be it lol
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Oct 05, 2011 6:28 AM GMT
    I think your list is a reasonable start. You seem open to adjusting these rules as appropriate. The one rule I'd add is "Give a guy a chance." Try not to be overly judgmental. Unless a guy totally and utterly bombs on a first date, give him at least a second or third chance. Most other guys aren't going to be as generous, but you can be the bigger man. "The first date it may be him, the second date it may be you, on the third date you'll know for sure."
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    Oct 05, 2011 6:31 PM GMT
    AntiHer017 saidYou should read the book, He's Just Not That Into You. It def helps. I think it is okay to have rules but use them as a guideline you dont have to be strict about it. No Shade.


    I'm going to come out with a book called, "he is into you, but he's married."

    ...Like the guy who says hi to me EVERYTIME I see him at the bar. We even hooked up once. But every time after the club, he doesn't know me anymore.

    Last week, he pulled that "hi, how are you?????" 5 seconds later some guy comes up and grabs him by the arm and this mother fucker rolls his eyes at me and they keep walking.