in love with my best mate

  • dubontour5

    Posts: 5

    Oct 04, 2011 10:07 PM GMT
    hi all im 29 male with a gf and in love with my srt8 best mate who also has a gf we have being freinds for years he does not know im in love with him but when were out drinking and at party when both drunk he kiss me on lips and tells me i love u , then next day is like nothing ever happens my minds going crazy as i love him . but dont wanna hurt anyone and when hes around his gf he flirts with her like if he knows im looking and stuff help ????? what i do icon_sad.gif
  • dubontour5

    Posts: 5

    Oct 04, 2011 10:22 PM GMT
    sort of tryed that he backed off and said im not gay ?????????????aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 04, 2011 10:24 PM GMT
    depends on what is more important to you. Also your moral issues. If you want to keep him as a freind, who might stay in your life for the rest of your life, just be friends. If you push it, like it sounds like you will, be ready to expect that the freindship might end.icon_idea.gif
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Oct 05, 2011 12:32 AM GMT
    Rent Brokeback Mountain and watch it with him next time u get drunk together. Ask him which of the bisexual guys most resembles him.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Oct 05, 2011 12:52 AM GMT
    I can relate: when I was in college, my best buddy and I were inseperable for a couple of years. He would tell me all the time that he loved me, but there wasn't any kissing or anything physical. One night after we had been out drinking, I decided I'd try to push the envelope a bit and kiss him. He reacted like he had been bitten by a snake, and from that point onward, he distanced himself from me and got himself a girlfriend a quickly as he could.

    It was a real mind fuck for me, and took me a long time to get over it. My advice is to keep the friendship, but you may have to pull away in order to explore your own feelings and figure out what to do about your own attraction to men.

    You mention that you have a girlfriend; what does she think about all this?
  • dubontour5

    Posts: 5

    Oct 05, 2011 1:20 AM GMT
    I have seen Brokeback Mountain and my life reminds me off it i think of him from the min I open my eyes till the last thing at night. ;(
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Oct 05, 2011 1:35 AM GMT
    There was another thread last night almost identical to this one.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 06, 2011 6:18 AM GMT
    waccamatt saidThere was another thread last night almost identical to this one.


    maybe this one is BS.
    pics or it didn't happen.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Oct 06, 2011 6:21 AM GMT
    i really do not know what to tell you dude. wow, that is a situation i would never want to be in. however, i will just wait and what he does. if i were you i would not try to pursue or try anything with him. i would let him make all the moves. also i would try and not be around him all the time
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 06, 2011 6:31 AM GMT
    Typical story man...

    Don't be centered around sex, it will not give you what you want... If you truly love him then you'll knw how to deal with him, u say u've knwn each other for some years, don't flush it all away cz u want to scratch his crotch and knw if he has a hard on for you. Friendships are treasures if only people knew!

    Good luck man, I wish you can understand.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 06, 2011 6:41 AM GMT
    Same here dude icon_neutral.gif
  • dubontour5

    Posts: 5

    Oct 08, 2011 11:09 AM GMT
    thanks for the replys guy
    just wish i new what to do as my mind is in over drive and dont wanna lose him ass a freind but it kills me even seen him with his gf and i think the funny thing is . i have a felling he knows this . !!!!!!!!!! life is not easy icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2011 11:38 AM GMT
    If he knows it drives you crazy, what a selfish friend to do that! You should slow it down a bit. You're getting way ahead of yourself.

    What if his girlfriend knew this happened, would she be happyp about it?

    If he knews that you're hurting and jealous... that isn't a friend, he's playing games.

    Terrible!!!
    What kind of friend plays games like that!?

    Be careful.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2011 6:32 PM GMT
    Straight men don't kiss each other. Not even when there drunk and especially not in the U.S.. In addition having a gf doesn't make you straight.

    I mean come on! You just don't kiss your best friend and tell him you love him without meaning it.

    Maybe he rejects you when he's sober because he's still struggling with it. We all know that alcohol makes a lot of things way easier.

    He's your best friend so you should be the one who knows how he's feeling right know.

    If I were you and I'd be thinking he's THE ONE I'd keep goingicon_wink.gif

    I wish you guys just the best.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2011 6:47 PM GMT
    Sorry, just noticed you live in Ireland ;)
  • dubontour5

    Posts: 5

    Oct 08, 2011 9:42 PM GMT
    I know it's not right what I'm doing or him but I can't help what goes on I'n my head I dont know guys icon_sad.gif thanks for replys lads
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2011 9:46 PM GMT
    convenience-store-culos-booze-condoms-ro
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2011 9:47 PM GMT
    What don't you go to bar with him and get him? You know what next
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2011 8:24 AM GMT
    dubontour5 saidI have seen Brokeback Mountain and my life reminds me off it i think of him from the min I open my eyes till the last thing at night. ;(


    Have movie night and watch the film together.
    The answer you seek will emerge.
  • Vidur

    Posts: 9

    Oct 11, 2011 2:11 AM GMT
    I've been in a similar situation with my best friend for about 8 years now.

    We're the best of friends and share a lot with each but, at some point we started to 'harmlessly' and 'jokingly' flirt with each other. This started before he knew I was gay. However, after a while it goes from joking to actual flirting and I'm sure when/if we('ve) crossed that line.

    At any rate - I wouldn't say I'm in love with him but, it does make things a little awkward when there's so much sexual tension. He knows I'm gay now and honestly, I've encouraged him to come out but, he sticks by him being straight. Who am I to not believe it?

    For your particular situation, I wouldn't try and force anything. The longer you hold out for him, the worse it may get. Try and have a conversation with him about but, again, don't force the issue. You'll likely be better just leaving well enough alone before one of you gets hurt.

    PS: There's another friend of mine who I'm in a similar situation as above, with. Now him, I'm actually attracted to. He's questing his sexuality, whether he's being truthful about that is another thing. He's saying he may be bisexual after he watched some gay porn with me out of 'curiosity'. Sigh - what a messed up group of friends I have. icon_razz.gif