Why is it ok to have a stranger in your house for sex, but odd if instead that stranger asked you out for a drink?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 06, 2011 12:46 AM GMT
    For some reason, guys are more comfortable asking me to come over and fuck them, If however I ask a guy would he like t go out for a friendly drink or something tame, I get shut down as if I'm some kind of creeper.


    Like what the actual fuck?
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    Oct 06, 2011 1:09 AM GMT
    It makes a lot of sense. I call it "fuck and go." They want to be fucked but don't want anything more than that. Personally I dislike that attitude and pass on those guys. For me sex includes lots of foreplay and cuddling afterwards. Becoming friends or at least continuing to be friendly is a great plus though often not the case.
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    Oct 06, 2011 1:12 AM GMT
    Sex can just be physical without any sort of emotional connection. Many guys out there prefer it that way; It's non threatening.

    However, when you sit a guy down for a conversation it's possible to uncover something they don't want everyone or anyone to see; It's rather threatening to their ego.


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    Oct 06, 2011 1:16 AM GMT
    deltalimen saidSex can just be physical without any sort of emotional connection. Many guys out there prefer it that way; It's non threatening.

    However, when you sit a guy down for a conversation it's possible to uncover something they don't want everyone or anyone to see; It's rather threatening to their ego.


    100% agreement.
    Well said and to the point!
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    Oct 06, 2011 1:19 AM GMT
    Guaranteed sex is guaranteed sex. Very high probability of ROI.
    A drink/date has a moderately low probability of ROI.

    So it depends on what you're looking for.
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Oct 06, 2011 1:38 AM GMT
    Because meeting a stranger solely for sex is the quickest, surest way to satisfy the goal: sex.

    Adding going out for drinks complicates it a bit more. You're attempting to change the nature of the hook-up. Some may be fine with that as they don't mind Friends With Benefits. But for those seeking a no-strings attached anonymous hook-up, asking to go out for a drink is a no-go.
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    Oct 06, 2011 1:39 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidApparently relationships and friendships are too mainstream for fags.

    I would add you to my friends list but you've probably never heard of it
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    Oct 06, 2011 1:46 AM GMT
    Getting off is a biological necessity.

    If you go out for drinks your conversation will have to extend beyond "Take off your clothes' and "Ooh that's hot."
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    Oct 06, 2011 2:07 AM GMT
    I think you get what you put out. If a guy asks you to come over and f**k then that's all you should expect. You shouldn't expect to ask or call him a few days later and be like "oh let's get a drink" because frankly, they're not interested. That seems pretty easy to grasp-- how can you think that screwing before you know the persons last name is going to turn into something beyond that...

    If you meet someone who doesn't want to screw right away and wants to take the time to do things slowly then you've probably found a better fit for you...

    All about perception and what you're looking for and putting out there.

    What you want and what you put into looking has to be the same.
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    Oct 06, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    running11 saidI think you get what you put out. If a guy asks you to come over and f**k then that's all you should expect. You shouldn't expect to ask or call him a few days later and be like "oh let's get a drink" because frankly, they're not interested. That seems pretty easy to grasp-- how can you think that screwing before you know the persons last name is going to turn into something beyond that...

    If you meet someone who doesn't want to screw right away and wants to take the time to do things slowly then you've probably found a better fit for you...

    All about perception and what you're looking for and putting out there.

    What you want and what you put into looking has to be the same.


    True this ^
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    Oct 06, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    I agree with the op. It seems like a lot of people on these dating sites (especially adam4adam) are only interested in sex. I'd rather hang out with a guy and go for a drink with them to see if the chemistry is there before I sleep with a stranger.
  • brendanmuscle...

    Posts: 593

    Oct 06, 2011 6:08 AM GMT
    DoomsDayAlpaca saidFor some reason, guys are more comfortable asking me to come over and fuck them, If however I ask a guy would he like t go out for a friendly drink or something tame, I get shut down as if I'm some kind of creeper.


    Like what the actual fuck?


    They're attracted to you and want to have sex with you and get off, but they don't really give two shits about you as a person or your personality. Just being blunt, it's how a lot of gay guys are. Fortunately, not everyone, but quite a few i'd say

    If someone talks to me online, and i am attracted/ interested, i will ask them out first for like a drink or a meal to get to know them and take things from there. If they arent interested in that and want to "cut to the chase" then they quickly find themselves cut off.
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    Oct 06, 2011 6:16 AM GMT
    brendanmuscles said
    They're attracted to you and want to have sex with you and get off, but they don't really give two shits about you as a person or your personality. Just being blunt, it's how a lot of gay guys are.


    /end conversation.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Oct 06, 2011 6:33 AM GMT
    well i hate to break it to you buddy but usually guys do not want to date the person they just wanted to hook up with . even if you just see it as a getting a drink or hanging out. that is probably not what they are looking for. do not take it personal just take it for what it is. if you want to find someone to do have sex and hangout with then i think you should say that upfront
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    Oct 06, 2011 6:49 AM GMT
    running11 saidI think you get what you put out. If a guy asks you to come over and f**k then that's all you should expect. You shouldn't expect to ask or call him a few days later and be like "oh let's get a drink" because frankly, they're not interested. That seems pretty easy to grasp-- how can you think that screwing before you know the persons last name is going to turn into something beyond that...

    If you meet someone who doesn't want to screw right away and wants to take the time to do things slowly then you've probably found a better fit for you...

    All about perception and what you're looking for and putting out there.

    What you want and what you put into looking has to be the same.


    I should clarify, no one slept with anyone and no sex making was had. This was just an observation.
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    Oct 06, 2011 9:05 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidMen are shitty?
    Everyone is shitty.
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    Oct 06, 2011 9:15 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]DoomsDayAlpaca said[/cite]
    running11 saidI think you get what you put out. If a guy asks you to come over and f**k then that's all you should expect. You shouldn't expect to ask or call him a few days later and be like "oh let's get a drink" because frankly, they're not interested. That seems pretty easy to grasp-- how can you think that screwing before you know the persons last name is going to turn into something beyond that...

    If you meet someone who doesn't want to screw right away and wants to take the time to do things slowly then you've probably found a better fit for you...

    All about perception and what you're looking for and putting out there.

    What you want and what you put into looking has to be the same.


    I should clarify, no one slept with anyone and no sex making was had. This was just an observation.[/quote

    And I wasn't saying there was- just saying don't be going over to guys houses and screwing them and then bitching about not meeting guys who want to go for drinks...
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    Oct 06, 2011 9:15 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidMen are shitty?

    Damn A - your approaching 13000 posts (very Caslon)
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    Oct 06, 2011 9:27 AM GMT
    Well it is to a slut!
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    Oct 06, 2011 10:55 AM GMT
    I think the drink is more of a commitment. Some people just don't want the relationship and just want to have sex.
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    Oct 06, 2011 11:52 AM GMT
    running11 saidI think you get what you put out. If a guy asks you to come over and f**k then that's all you should expect. You shouldn't expect to ask or call him a few days later and be like "oh let's get a drink" because frankly, they're not interested. That seems pretty easy to grasp-- how can you think that screwing before you know the persons last name is going to turn into something beyond that...

    If you meet someone who doesn't want to screw right away and wants to take the time to do things slowly then you've probably found a better fit for you...

    All about perception and what you're looking for and putting out there.

    What you want and what you put into looking has to be the same.


    BEST ANSWER EVER.

    Who do you judge more? The guy who just wants to fuck and you are clearly aware of it or the guy who goes to the guy who just wants to fuck then tries to switch things up by asking to go out for a drink? If they wanted to be chummy they would've said so in the beginning. They just wanna fuck. You want more. it's not gonna work out.

    That's like ordering a pizza from a pizza place (that's all they serve and you know it) and then complaining that they don't serve Chinese food. You know better.

    Go for guys who are gonna meet you halfway. Simple as that. You can't expect anything more from someone when you already know what to expect from them so if they just want to have sex you should just leave it at that. You have the option of either complying and getting your rocks off or declining the offer and moving on to something more your speed and tempo. If anything they are doing you a favor because at least they are honest about what they want upfront and don't leave you guessing. it's blunt but it's honest and at least you know.

    Going out for drinks and trying to get to know someone might have you ending up a complete mess because your time and energy is wasted for dealing with a flake.


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    Oct 06, 2011 12:23 PM GMT
    DoomsDayAlpaca saidWhy is it ok to have a stranger in your house for sex, but odd if instead that stranger asked you out for a drink?
    Because sex is more fun than a drink.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Oct 06, 2011 12:31 PM GMT
    The hottest sex in my life has come after a lot of cat and mouse. I have found quick hook up sex with hot guys very unfulfilling. However serial quick hook ups with a FB or FWB can be very hot as you learn each others bodies and likes.

    Playing with friends can be very hot for me.
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    Oct 06, 2011 12:37 PM GMT
    Interesting how RJ autocensors f-u-c-k and s-h-i-t if you aren't logged in, just replaced the four naughty letters with a spacebar, but if you ARE logged in everything appears as normal.
    I had never noticed that before.
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    Oct 06, 2011 12:38 PM GMT
    This is an interesting post. I've heard gay guys say, I don't have sex with friends, but doesn't conventional wisdom say one should be friends first before any serious commitment can happen? I think it's better to have a few dates first then the sex. If it gets that far, then you know that the person is looking for more than a quickie.