Why does this happen?

  • gymrat1

    Posts: 132

    Oct 06, 2011 5:43 PM GMT
    I've had the same thing happen to me 3 times within the last coupla months. I meet someone, have a great conversation with them.....we text...plan to meet; and then all of a sudden- then stop communicating completely.

    The last one really hurt. We had a long phone conversation, so much in common, he seemed so cool- now he won't even answer his phone, a text, nothing.

    Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe I came on too strong, which is not my nature at all........advice/comments PLEASE icon_smile.gif
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Oct 06, 2011 8:12 PM GMT
    It has been happening with me too. Granted, I can be annoying, and I can be detached, a lot of people are flakes, who can say almost anything, and fail to come through, or even give notification that they can't be a part of plans.
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    Oct 06, 2011 8:22 PM GMT
    There's a thread about this exact situation every day
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    Oct 06, 2011 8:26 PM GMT
    SFYogi saidThere's a thread about this exact situation every day


    Hell 3 or 4. Scan any of the millions of threads that say "Why!!???" or "What happened!???" or "=(?????". MILLIONS.

    MEN ARE FLAKES. THEY WILL DISAPPEAR AND IGNORE YOU. It's just the reality of gay dating.
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    Oct 06, 2011 8:26 PM GMT
    To answer the OP's inquiry:

    BECAUSE IT DOES.

    SFYogiThere's a thread about this exact situation every day


    OMGINORITE

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    Oct 06, 2011 11:00 PM GMT
    Someone said something once to me. It happens for the good. There is something wrong or maybe the person is just not your soul mate. They also said to be lucky it didn't go into a long relationship and then how would you feel after that breakup. Guys in general are flakes. I was going out with someone earlier this year. His reason for not talking to me was that he saw at a chinese restaurant that his sign said to marry a rooster or a rat and not my sign. He was and AA person also so many problems there.
  • gymrat1

    Posts: 132

    Oct 06, 2011 11:02 PM GMT
    Ok, thanks for the advice. I don't read the forums here often, my apologies.
    It just seemed that myself and one guy really clicked. Talked on the phone for a couple hours, texted....then nothing.

    I guess I'll keep trying icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 07, 2011 8:56 AM GMT
    There's something hugely lacking in online communication and even telephone communication. Unfortunately, it cannot be relied upon as an accurate determiner of emotional/physical connection.

    My evidence and conclusions:
    Online communication is infradigital. Telephone communication is digital. 80% of our communication is nonverbal and nonlinguistic. We lack all other cues such as prosody and body language when we are not face to face (analog).

    Physiologically when we stimulate the neurons in the cochlear nucleus via electrical stimulation the response is entirely different from acoustic stimulation; abnormal growth functions, saturation levels, phase locking, etc... Pretty good explanation of why cochlear implant wearers cannot listen to music.

    We have a superior colliculus and inferior colliculus in the higher brainstem that combines auditory and visual cues for some reason left unknown so far. Possibly theories in localization explain this in predatory animals, but humans really on auditory and visual cues as a mean for communication.


    I recently met someone online I talked to for four months prior. That was really nice and something I'll cherish; we were able to connect face to face on a deeper level than any other means. I believe that's the first time it's ever happened, but it included completely honest communication from the beginning. It's easy to lie to someone when behind a microphone or computer and/or lose interest.