Do Most Black Women Not Like Gay Men?

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    Oct 07, 2011 4:03 AM GMT
    So I was in the grocery store with this guy. Who's totally adorable and my future boyfriend but nevermind that. We were gonna cook dinner together. So as where in one the asiles,two black girls walk down by us. These girls literally stop and roll their eyes. Turn and walk the other way and one of them says. "It's bad enough you like that. But don't be having it all out of the bedroom". She says this loud enough so we can hear it I might add. The guy only had his arm around me and was whispering in my ear. Then my future boyfriend goes "Don't worry babe you prettier than them and your a guy. The girls turn back around and give us dirty looks and start mumbling things as they leave.

    This is not the first time I've had issues with black women over my sexuality.
    So is it because I'm a black guy and gay?or because most black women are homophobic?
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:07 AM GMT
    It's because you live in the U.S.
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:15 AM GMT
    Yeah, that is how it goes down. I have encountered that shit before. It is pretty much that they can't understand why successful, intelligent, good black men have to be gay. It bothers them, and it pisses them off.

    Your guy did the right thing by saying something.
  • Musicman91

    Posts: 1530

    Oct 07, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]yourname2000 said[/cite]
    Xhris_19_FL saidSo I was in the grocery store with this guy. Who's totally adorable and my future boyfriend but nevermind that. We were gonna cook dinner together. So as where in one the asiles,two black girls walk down by us. These girls literally stop and roll their eyes. Turn and walk the other way and one of them says. "It's bad enough you like that. But don't be having it all out of the bedroom". She says this loud enough so we can hear it I might add. The guy only had his arm around me and was whispering in my ear. Then my future boyfriend goes "Don't worry babe you prettier than them and your a guy. The girls turn back around and give us dirty looks and start mumbling things as they leave.

    This is not the first time I've had issues with black women over my sexuality.
    So is it because I'm a black guy and gay?or because most black women are homophobic?

    Okay....I live in Vancouver, so most of the black people I know are on TV. That said, I've heard black women pine that they've got some pretty slim pickin's when it comes to getting themselves a man.

    Their complaint (I don't remember what show it was) was that a disproportionate number of black men were...umm..."not mate-worthy" (in jail, dealing with addiction, etc.) But the argument started with them complaining that a lot of black men sought out white and asian women....and they were mad about that. "You're taking our men" was the general tone.

    So it wouldn't surprise me (if that is a real issue within the black community from the perspective of women) that they feel the same way about two men hooking up....that's just even fewer guys in the dating pool for them.

    Again though, it was a heated discussion on some talk show...I have no experience in that regard. I sure hope it's not something you have to deal with everywhere.[/quote


    I have heard this as well. Some black women want a man who will treat them right but alot of black men are not up to their "standards" then you have them going after white/asian/latina girls.

    That being said all the black girls I know are awesome icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    Black women don't like gay men because gay men act like Black women when they fight.
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:23 AM GMT
    JB82 saidBlack women don't like gay men because gay men act like Black women when they fight.

    There's the Jake I know and love.
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    Sorry that this happened to you but not all black women are like that My Mama cool with me being bi. Don't worry about the chicken head black girls that said what they said to you there are probably just jealous that you have a good man which is something they have trouble keeping.
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    Anduru saidIt's because you live in the U.S.


    In Canada all of the women are made of straw and they don't talk back.
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    slimnoodlez saidisn't the black community like the least receptive of gay people in general?


    I think the problem here is thinking "black community" is a black community. It's not. The black population is so large and diverse (and has all their civil rights) so there is no cohesive "black thought."
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:26 AM GMT
    Xhris_19_FL said
    This is not the first time I've had issues with black women over my sexuality.
    So is it because I'm a black guy and gay?or because most black women are homophobic?


    Fight them hos, post it up on YouTube, and I'll remix it for you.

    You can think of a clever come back. After all they only make what...74 cents for every gay dollar you make? Probably less cuz you're gay. You could also scare them off by saying you fucked their boyfriend last night or something. I'm sure you can say something to make them easily say "oh na ahhh" and then make sure you're recording it!
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:27 AM GMT
    Xhris_19_FL saidSo I was in the grocery store with this guy. Who's totally adorable and my future boyfriend but nevermind that. We were gonna cook dinner together. So as where in one the asiles,two black girls walk down by us. These girls literally stop and roll their eyes. Turn and walk the other way and one of them says. "It's bad enough you like that. But don't be having it all out of the bedroom". She says this loud enough so we can hear it I might add. The guy only had his arm around me and was whispering in my ear. Then my future boyfriend goes "Don't worry babe you prettier than them and your a guy. The girls turn back around and give us dirty looks and start mumbling things as they leave.

    This is not the first time I've had issues with black women over my sexuality.
    So is it because I'm a black guy and gay?or because most black women are homophobic?


    Are most white people racist bigots?
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:27 AM GMT
    JB82 said
    slimnoodlez saidisn't the black community like the least receptive of gay people in general?


    I think the problem here is thinking "black community" is a black community. It's not. The black population is so large and diverse (and has all their civil rights) so there is no cohesive "black thought."


    good post jake
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Oct 07, 2011 4:28 AM GMT
    slimnoodlez saidisn't the black community like the least receptive of gay people in general?


    I don't know if they're are less receptive than other races, I just think black people aren't afraid to say what's on their minds, while white people will think something, but too scared to say anything.
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:29 AM GMT
    BlkMuscleGent said
    Are most white people racist bigots?


    Probably in the historic slave states yes. In the other states the Mexicans are racist. You just don't hear it because you don't speak Spanish.
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:29 AM GMT
    Pretty much, yup.
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:29 AM GMT
    ohioguy12 said
    slimnoodlez saidisn't the black community like the least receptive of gay people in general?


    I don't know if they're are less receptive than other races, I just think black people aren't afraid to say what's on their minds, while white people will think something, but too scared to say anything.


    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    win

    Asians hate gays too but are way quieter about it.
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:29 AM GMT
    dekiruman said
    JB82 said
    slimnoodlez saidisn't the black community like the least receptive of gay people in general?


    I think the problem here is thinking "black community" is a black community. It's not. The black population is so large and diverse (and has all their civil rights) so there is no cohesive "black thought."


    good post jake


    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:35 AM GMT
    It's not a black woman thing it's a stupid girl thing.
    Dumb people say dumb things. No need to pin it on a whole group of people.

  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Oct 07, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    I'd be uncomfortable making generalizations about any group based on personal experience--there probably isn't any reliable way to know how "most" of any subpopulation feel about something unless you did a comprehensive survey and then you'd still have the issue of whether or not people would tell the truth. There have been general arguments made about the correlation between socio-economic status and social tolerance (i.e. studies that found correlations between poverty and racism, antisemitism, etc.) but I wouldn't want to make blanket statements based on the people who feel the need to spout off in public--for example, think of what impression someone would get of RJ members "in general" based on the shit people post in the forums!
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    My question in response to the thread title is "Does it matter?".

    I don't know, maybe it's the psych courses and Social Inequality course I'm in at the moment, but how does it matter? Either way this topic can only become a discussion of stereotypes, which are generally not that helpful.

    It sucks that that incident happened to you... I'd be infuriated! But who cares if the two girls are black in that situation? Either way they're clearly just bigoted assholes.
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:48 AM GMT
    This is kinda why I'm not out to my family. They say things like "Sure let them get married, but they should not be allowed to have children". Or "I find it disgusting when there old and still doing that. It's bad enough when there young ".
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    JB82 saidBlack women don't like gay men because gay men act like Black women when they fight.


    lolol icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    This is kinda why I'm not out to my family. They say things like "Sure let them get married, but they should not be allowed to have children". Or "I find it disgusting when there old and still doing that. It's bad enough when there young ". Are my favorite "gaywad" .
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:51 AM GMT
    ohioguy12 said
    slimnoodlez saidisn't the black community like the least receptive of gay people in general?


    I don't know if they're are less receptive than other races, I just think black people aren't afraid to say what's on their minds, while white people will think something, but too scared to say anything.
    Not this white person. icon_lol.gif
    Though I usually don't have anything but positive comments towards gay men being affectionate in public.
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    Oct 07, 2011 4:52 AM GMT
    JB82 saidBlack women don't like gay men because gay men act like Black women when they fight.